What do they mean? I've been trying to research them and I haven't been able to find a decent definition or description.
so my horny ass desire for androphyllic otherkin means nothing to you, eh?My rather piggish opinion is that these are just heartless words to describe what we all know more commonly as basic sexual niche and desire.
If someone tells me they're a pansexual, demisexual, or whatever other omni-frivolous form, I'll think they're a hipster trying to give themselves the newest unique label, as if anyone remotely gives a shit.
I will explain, gender fluid is someone who choses to switch between female and male behavior at will, most describe themselves as gender neutral but have one natural gender, they believe that your mental gender and physical gender are different things.my gender is fine where its is. lol
I like the simple things aya. changing genders at will is too much for me. I don't even think I have the male gender down yet.I will explain, gender fluid is someone who choses to switch between female and male behavior at will, most describe themselves as gender neutral but have one natural gender, they believe that your mental gender and physical gender are different things.
That is often the case, yes.but I've seen enough posts by demisexuals at least who came at it backwards - they were shocked to find there was a descriptive term that fit how they'd always known they were different. They didn't go out seeking to label themselves anything, but instead stumbled across a a label that happened to fit.
@Pessimisterious - That was my knee-jerk reaction as well, but I've seen enough posts by demisexuals at least who came at it backwards - they were shocked to find there was a descriptive term that fit how they'd always known they were different. They didn't go out seeking to label themselves anything, but instead stumbled across a a label that happened to fit.
Anyway, OP, two years ago I typed up a list of definitions I could find on AVEN (which I encountered via @snail 's Demisexuals unite! thread) at the time and was going to start a reference thread, but I figured it'd crash and burn from the type of misunderstanding that makes a lot of threads around here unreadable (ex. your experience differs from mine, you're wrong/you suck), so I never completed researching and reformatting the information.
The information is old by now and has likely since been revised, but here it is. If enough people would find the information useful, I can re-research, revise/reformat, and re-post as a separate resource thread and request it stickied.
Definitions from Asexuality, in all its parts on AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) Forums
Asexuality - An asexual is a person that does not experience primary sexual attraction and/or sexual desire.
Asexuals may have a sexual drive or interest. Most asexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction, but some asexuals may experience primary sexual attraction but will lack the sexual desire to act on it. Some asexuals experience romantic attraction, though some may not. Any orientation such as hetero-asexual (also known as hetero-romantic) expresses one’s direction of romantic interest. Some asexuals that experience romantic attraction may develop contingent sexual attraction, and so sexual desire, but this is uncommon.
Attraction - a subconscious thought process that governs a person’s attraction without his/her consent or decision.
- Sexual attraction – an attraction that creates sexual desire or sexual interest
- -Primary sexual attraction* – an instantaneous mental attraction based on physical appearances, which then creates sexual desire or sexual interest, despite level or intensity, and that may or may not be accompanied by arousal. If acted upon, it is often because of a combination of this and sexual drive, but sexual drive is not necessary for the attraction itself to occur.
- a type of sexual attraction with precedes romantic attraction and may or may not be later accompanied by romantic attraction. It is generally based on physical appearance and appears on an on-sight basis, or before the object of attention is known on a personal level. It exists independently of romantic attraction and generally continues to exist after a romantic attraction has ended, unless altered by traumatic or dramatic events.
Ex. A hetero-sexual female sees a very attractive man, and finds him sexually attractive. The idea of sexual activity (of any kind, from mere kissing to full sex) enters her mind to some sort of extent (fleetingly or a fully detailed fantasy) between the two of them. She may not be physically aroused, but it’s a possibility, because of the thoughts that develop from seeing him. This is sexual attraction. There is some sort of desire (mentally, and stemming from that, perhaps physically) for sexual activity with this person. However, just because that feeling is there doesn’t necessarily mean that she will attempt to act on it, or even want to. There are a lot of reasons someone might not want to even though the idea, at whatever intensity, is there. Examples of this could be being already involved with someone else or want to be, dealing with a break up, requiring (as a personal choice) emotional feelings before engaging in sexual activity, etc. But the point is that because of the thought process that occurs when seeing someone, she considers sexual activity with that person.
Ex.* A homo-asexual man sees a very attraction male, and finds him sexually attractive. The idea of sexual activity (of any kind, from mere kissing to full sex) enters his mind to some sort of extent (fleetingly or a fully detailed fantasy) between the two of them. He may not be physically aroused, but it’s a possibility, because of the thoughts that develop from seeing him. This is sexual attraction. However, there is no desire (mentally, and stemming from that, perhaps physically) for sexual activity with this person. Any sexual stimulation that may occur from the attraction will be fantasy-based masturbation.
- -Contingent (Post-romantic) sexual attraction* – a mental attraction based on emotional development that occurs over time, which creates sexual desire, despite level or intensity, and that may or may not be accompanied by arousal. If acted upon, it is often as an emotional expression with less focus on stimulation or sexual drive.
- a type of sexual attraction that is dependent on romantic attraction. It is not an inevitable occurrence after romantic attraction has developed, but it is dependent on that development for the possibility of occurring and would not occur otherwise, and it does not exist once a romantic attraction has faded.
Ex. A hetero-sexual woman sees a very attractive male, and finds him sexually attractive (primary). However, she does not act on this because she does not want a purely physical situation, as she does not have romantic attraction for him. After getting to know him for a while, she develops deep emotional feelings for the man, which is followed by contingent sexual attraction. Her sexual desire is no longer based on physical stimulation, but on the desire to express emotional feelings and be physically close. If the relationship, and so her romantic attraction, ends, the contingent sexual attraction will end as well, since she no longer has emotional feelings to express. However, she will still find him primary sexually attractive on a physical basis and so may still have sexual desire, but may choose not to act on it.
Ex.* A homo-asexual man sees a very attractive male, but does not find him sexually attractive. After developing a friendship, a romantic attraction develops and with it the desire to be physically close. This then develops into contingent sexual attraction, as sexual activity is used to express emotion. If the relationship comes to an end, and the romantic attraction fades, the contingent sexual attraction will end as well as all sexual desire.
* Uncommon among asexuals, though still possible.
Romantic attraction – a very strong emotional attraction or bond toward an individual, such as love.
Sexual drive – physical arousal that may or may not be directed, but that can be satisfied with any sort of sexual stimulation ranging from masturbation to intercourse.
Sexual interest – mental desire to engage in sexual stimulation even though an arousal may not be present at the time.
Ex. Choosing to watch porn for the purpose of creating an arousal, so that sexual stimulation can then occur.
Sexual desire – mental desire to engage in sexual stimulation with another
Orientation – generally a subconscious preference that governs a person’s attraction without his/her consent or decision.
- Sexual orientation – a subconscious preference that governs a person’s sexual and, usually, romantic attraction.
- Romantic orientation – a subconscious preference that governs a person’s romantic attraction only.
- -Sexual – a person that does experience primary sexual attraction and sexual desire.
- -Asexual - a person that does not experience primary sexual attraction and/or sexual desire.
- - -Homo- – an attraction, romantic and/or sexual, to someone of the same sex.
Ex. Homo-sexual. Homo-asexual/Homo-romantic.
- - -Hetero- – an attraction, romantic and/or sexual, to someone of the opposite sex.
Ex. Hetero-sexual. Hetero-asexual/Hetero-romantic.
- - -Bi- – an attraction, romantic and/or sexual, to someone of either sex.
Ex. Bi-sexual. Bi-asexual/Bi-romantic
- - -Pan- – an attraction, romantic and/or sexual, to anyone (though not everyone), regardless of sex or gender.
Ex. Pan-sexual. Pan-asexual/Pan-romantic.
- - -A- – no attraction of any kind.
Ex. Asexual. A-asexual/A-romantic.
Definition of Demisexual from the Demisexual AVENwiki page
A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone, often (but not always) in a romantic relationship. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to (usually in love with but sometimes feel strongly as friends) someone else, the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners.
When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.
According to one hypothetical model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.
Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affect romantic attraction, as with any other orientation.
"Demisexual" is also sometimes used as a synonym for some other kind of person falling under the gray-A umbrella. Demisexuality differs from gray-asexuality in that demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation in between "sexual" and "asexual", whereas "gray-A" is a highly unspecific catch-all used for anything between sexual and asexual that does not fit.
Demisexuality may make forming romantic or sexual relationships more difficult for some people. Demisexuals often make first impressions with sexuals of being "just friends", which may make the sexual value the relationship less. Demisexuals often have rocky relationships with asexuals because the demisexual's feelings may become more sexualized with time, which the asexual may find inappropriate or unexpected. In either case, having a better understanding of one's own orientation and how it differs from one's partner's orientation may help facilitate communication to clear up misunderstandings.
Definition of Gray-A / Grey-A from the Gray-A / Grey-A AVENwiki page
Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white; some people identify in the gray (spelled "grey" in some countries) area between them. People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:
Similarly, some people who might technically belong to the gray area choose to identify as asexual because it is easier to explain. For example, if someone has experienced sexual attraction on one or two brief, fleeting occasions in their life, they might prefer to call themselves asexual because it is not worth the bother of having to explain these one or two occasions to everyone who asks about their orientation.
- do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
- experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
- experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
- people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances
The most common term used to refer to the gray area is "gray-A". Other terms that have been used for the gray area include "hyposexual", "demisexual", "semisexual", "low sexual intensity", "asexual-ish", and "sexual-ish".
Some of these terms refer to specific parts of the gray area rather than the entire gray area.
Hyposexual can be used as a catch-all term for the gray area, and is commonly mistaken believed by asexuals to be a standard medical term. The actual name is Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, which is classified as a sexual dysfunction in the DSM-IV-TR.
Demisexual is used, generally, to describe people who only experience sexual attraction to a romantic partner or partners.
Based on this definition:thanks so much for posting this. out of curiosity:
I have a strong sexual attraction towards women but not much desire to act on it. I've always said I'm too lazy, it's the only way I can describe it. does this make me asexual?
No.Asexuality - An asexual is a person that does not experience primary sexual attraction and/or sexual desire.
Telling them to mind their own business is another option as well. :happy:Just lazy huh?
It would be so much better tell people I'm asexual. A rising minority group. Every time I'm made fun of I can all get activist on their ass.
Normally I just tell people I'm becoming a presit. it doens't work often....