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Discussion Starter #1
Any advice from ESTJs on parenting an ESTJ?

I have a 7 year old ESTJ. I am an ISFJ and we often have "butted heads" so to speak, but things get easier the older she gets. My husband is an INTP and generally has an easier time dealing with certain personality quirks...

For those who had an ISFJ parent, any advice on things to do/not do to keep a good relationship with an ESTJ child?

Thanks!
 

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How can you tell he is an ESTJ at that young of an age?
 

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Easy - I've lived with her day in and day out for 7 years - it's pretty easy to recognize the personality traits! My husband and I are pretty sure she's an ESTJ. The only thing un-ESTJ about her is that she can be indecisive because of perfectionism getting in the way of making a decision. When she makes a decision or chooses something, she likes to be sure that it's the absolute best and most awesome choice because of a fear of missing out on something.

I have a link that it won't let me post because I'm new here, but if you go to Personality Page and find Portrait of an ETJ Child, it's pretty much her, spot on. It leaves out the S, but we're pretty sure she's S.
 

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We ESTJ do better with specific questions. What exactly are you having trouble with?
 
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For those who had an ISFJ parent, any advice on things to do/not do to keep a good relationship with an ESTJ child?

Thanks!
to highlight her specific question.

I am not an ESTJ, nor do I have a mother who is an ISFJ (she's ESFJ), but, fwiw, I have an aunt who is an ISFJ.

things that aggrevate me to no end include the idea that I have to give her every damned detail to show her I understand something as silly as directions, the smothering feeding (she wants me to join in then critiques everything if I don't do it her way), her neediness (needs me to want to call her-it would be so much better if she told me how much so I can get it over with), and her sensitivity (i'm a bull in the china shop when it comes to certain niceties and I feel like I'm about to hurt her on a frequent basis).

To make things better would need her to understand me (you're a mom vs an aunt-that means you likely have put a lot more effort into this) and be somewhat flexible in giving me what I need. I work like hell to avoid making her upset but it's draining.

My mom can be overly helpful rather than waiting for direction or allowing me to do things on my own. dunno if that's applicable to your situation or not.

Do you see any routine sources of conflict? if so, what are they?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks Tea Path for the list - I definitely see myself in some of those! I'm a detail-extractor too, lol. And can definitely be overly helpful.

Yes, my question wasn't super specific on troubles Sabrah - it's not really about her, but more about what ISFJ traits do I need to really keep a watch on so that they don't cause a lot of conflict. I guess I started thinking about it when I was reading other threads where people were talking about having ISFJ parents who really irritated them!

I don't know a whole lot about ESTJs and was looking for more info on how to make sure I respect her personality traits and to find out what ISFJ traits tend to bother ESTJs so I can work on keeping those in check.
 

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Thanks Tea Path for the list - I definitely see myself in some of those! I'm a detail-extractor too, lol. And can definitely be overly helpful.

Yes, my question wasn't super specific on troubles Sabrah - it's not really about her, but more about what ISFJ traits do I need to really keep a watch on so that they don't cause a lot of conflict. I guess I started thinking about it when I was reading other threads where people were talking about having ISFJ parents who really irritated them!

I don't know a whole lot about ESTJs and was looking for more info on how to make sure I respect her personality traits and to find out what ISFJ traits tend to bother ESTJs so I can work on keeping those in check.
what matters most is that you care and you see room for improvement. that will go a long way.
 

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My mother is an ISFJ and we argue a lot because she has this habit to self-righteousness even though she would be wrong ,and then to hide her mistake she would start pointing out drawbacks and mistakes from my past to prove herself ,and that really sucks ,I just feel drained after that because no matter what I say she just becomes deaf after that and I cannot misbehave or disrespect her because of obvious reasons and all this makes me feel like impotent because I can't get the right conclusion of our conversation because of her stubbornness to accept the right thing ,she never even apologized for any of mistakes ever ,even though I often apologize to her if I do something wrong .
If you really want to get along with your ESTJ daughter, I would advice that you learn to take things in fair and practical way ,don't get prejudiced or biased about anything ,that you don't see the right and appropriate conclusion of matters.
 
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