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I have to go to a birthday/social mingler/social networking party tonight. I know a total of two out of all the people that are going to be there (acquaintances). One of them is definitely an ISFJ. I thought about asking her to take me around, but in my past experiences ISFJs in situations like this have told me "sure, yes, of course" and ditched me anyway or flat out told me it would good for me to venture on my own because the people here are nice (I agree, people can be nice... it's just that i don't know a single soul to begin with! except her. :crying:) The ISFJ acquaintance going to the party started going off on the latter reason so i decided not to ask. The other person I "know" I have briefly passed by in the hallways at work, and we know each other by face (but not name), from the coffee room and one or two meetings where our departments overlapped.

The party is scheduled to be a few hours long, but my backup plan is to show up, say hi, try to fit in, and if things fail, to leave after an hour or so. people probably wouldnt notice anyway. How do I make this experience as small of a torture as it is? Parties are just painful for me. Last time, I was at a similar one, I didn't know anyone that well, but I had to go for work. Sometimes I'd try to initiate conversations, but then I'd be joined by some other people that knew each other, and they would start getting excited and catching up, and I'd sort of be left out. Or they start talking in their language and I'm just like "Uh.... okay, I'll leave." The major problem is that I don't know that many people well, whereas most people are already friends with each other. so yes, fellow introverts, what do you do at parties where you don't know almsot anyone? what kind of questions are you supposed to ask? do you just approach a group and introduce yourself? How do you conduct yourselves in conversations amongst close people and how do you try to get yourself to be included? "AH, PULL HAIR, SCREAMS!!!" this is in a few hours too!!!! :shocked::crying::crying::crying::crying:
 

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Just mingle and keep walking around if you run out of things to say to people. If someone makes eye contact then say hi and ask who they are/introduce yourself.
 

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I have to go to a birthday/social mingler/social networking party tonight. I know a total of two out of all the people that are going to be there (acquaintances). One of them is definitely an ISFJ. I thought about asking her to take me around, but in my past experiences ISFJs in situations like this have told me "sure, yes, of course" and ditched me anyway or flat out told me it would good for me to venture on my own because the people here are nice (I agree, people can be nice... it's just that i don't know a single soul to begin with! except her. :crying:) The ISFJ acquaintance going to the party started going off on the latter reason so i decided not to ask. The other person I "know" I have briefly passed by in the hallways at work, and we know each other by face (but not name), from the coffee room and one or two meetings where our departments overlapped.

The party is scheduled to be a few hours long, but my backup plan is to show up, say hi, try to fit in, and if things fail, to leave after an hour or so. people probably wouldnt notice anyway. How do I make this experience as small of a torture as it is? Parties are just painful for me. Last time, I was at a similar one, I didn't know anyone that well, but I had to go for work. Sometimes I'd try to initiate conversations, but then I'd be joined by some other people that knew each other, and they would start getting excited and catching up, and I'd sort of be left out. Or they start talking in their language and I'm just like "Uh.... okay, I'll leave." The major problem is that I don't know that many people well, whereas most people are already friends with each other. so yes, fellow introverts, what do you do at parties where you don't know almsot anyone? what kind of questions are you supposed to ask? do you just approach a group and introduce yourself? How do you conduct yourselves in conversations amongst close people and how do you try to get yourself to be included? "AH, PULL HAIR, SCREAMS!!!" this is in a few hours too!!!! :shocked::crying::crying::crying::crying:
Well, since the party was yesterday, I hope all went well. :laughing:

From my own experience, I usually don't like being in large crowds of people- not because I am bitter toward them but because it drains my energy. I prefer to be with small groups of friends and to do stuff that we all enjoy doing.

But oddly enough, with all that said, I do prefer to be around other people than to be by myself. When I am completley by myself, I turn into Mr. Intellectual and analyze the living hell out everything and get nothing accomplished. I do think that in the past I made certain things more complicated than they needed to be because of this. :crazy:
 

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parties? you mean those social gatherings where a bunch of idiots try to proove they are superior by seeing who can get more wasted and who can manage to cheat on his girlfriend most times on a single day??? >:[ I hate parties...reunions of stupidity
 

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How did it go Curious0610? Or are you still recovering? :crazy:

I had no advice - I dread them as much as you - and I feel like crawling out of my skin in those situations. I quite literally break into a sweat from the anxiety of it. And even if I do manage some small talk, it's so awkward that it's even obvious to the other person and they either just wander away or feel pity on me and try to force the small talk a little more. Oh it sucks. In those situations I really do wish I could fit in. It makes me sad/frustated at myself.

BTW- I'm referring to more adult like 'boring' parties, not teenage/college parties (those are easy to disappear in).
 

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I still have a headache from last night........how about you Curious0610?
 

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parties? you mean those social gatherings where a bunch of idiots try to proove they are superior by seeing who can get more wasted and who can manage to cheat on his girlfriend most times on a single day??? >:[ I hate parties...reunions of stupidity
This.

I despise social get-togethers. Hope it went alright for the OP.
 

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How did it go Curious0610? Or are you still recovering? :crazy:

I had no advice - I dread them as much as you - and I feel like crawling out of my skin in those situations. I quite literally break into a sweat from the anxiety of it. And even if I do manage some small talk, it's so awkward that it's even obvious to the other person and they either just wander away or feel pity on me and try to force the small talk a little more. Oh it sucks. In those situations I really do wish I could fit in. It makes me sad/frustated at myself.

BTW- I'm referring to more adult like 'boring' parties, not teenage/college parties (those are easy to disappear in).
doubt it, hard to get lost with all those drunken idiots around
 

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doubt it, hard to get lost with all those drunken idiots around
LOL - Yes, but people are less likely to notice I'm even there. I can keep to myself and I'm largely ignored. The part I can't stand is the loud noise, though. My nerves come undone and I about pass out. So I guess six of one, half a dozen of another. Either situation sucks.
 

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LOL - Yes, but people are less likely to notice I'm even there. I can keep to myself and I'm largely ignored. The part I can't stand is the loud noise, though. My nerves come undone and I about pass out. So I guess six of one, half a dozen of another. Either situation sucks.
lol really? well you look like a beautiful girl so I suppose that when you go those parties you get a bunch of drunk idiots telling you they want to have sex with you. am I wrong?
 

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I can get comfortable in my own skin of late. Some internal self talk helps like I am complete unto myself, I am a whole and worthy person. I am comfortable in my own skin.
 

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i have been to a 'tea party' a few years ago where i didn't know anyone.
i remember going in just to see the building ..because there were designs displayed all around, made by the people who worked there. and i also had my own MOA: find the 'head' of the dept and ask some questions about lessons she was giving. so here i already have a conversation ready to jump in to. in the end, ii stood out since i was one of the only 3 guys there, so i actually had people come to me to say hello. and they invited me to tea and biscuits. after that, i was just floating around, accomplished all my 'tasks' i set out to do... and i slipped through the back to leave. if i can, i try to get something out of a social function for myself, like an errand. if i embarrass myself, i at least don't leave empty-handed <_< and it would also not be a waste of time.
 

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I guess it's too late now but this video nail down a few things to do at a party or in any crowd.

How to Work a Crowd, Ep23 by Alexis Bauer | Ignite Show Video

I hate when everyone is taken in a room because I dont want to disturb their "private conversation". If somebody is alone, it's a bit easier to try to talk with them. Definitely dont like much starting conversation with strangers. You got make mistakes to make it work I guess.
 

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lol really? well you look like a beautiful girl so I suppose that when you go those parties you get a bunch of drunk idiots telling you they want to have sex with you. am I wrong?
Yes, when I was younger and actually went to those kind of parties. I pretty much avoid parties altogether now.
 
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