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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Share why you appreciate your current partner or what you have appreciated about past partners.
Big and small.

Perhaps they suddenly made you breakfast in bed as they let you slept in and handled the kids one Sunday morning.
Maybe you really love their cooking and are really pleased that they go to all that effort consistently to whip up what you both find tasty.
Maybe they write corny and terrible poems on special events but you still like that they do so and how it makes you laugh.

If you are single, perhaps you can look to past partners and some of the good parts about them that you enjoyed.
Maybe even things about close friends, what about people has you feeling gratitude?
 

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I wouldn't like to go on about past lovers because I want the past to remain there, in the past.

Now, there's this guy. He's funny and he knows how to make me smile and cry with laughter. I really don't know where he gets all the time to be so witty when he's also a party boy, but I never get bored when I'm with him and I always learn something new or get interested in something I never thought I could have been interested in.
 

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My boyfriend is a fucking amazing person and I'm very grateful he came crashing into my life.

Top 10 reasons why he's so awesome:

1) He's a great listener. He listens to all of my troubles patiently, and always agrees with me (lol xD). He never tells me to shut up or that I'm bothering him or whatever.
2) He's very patient and understanding. He just gets me, and even if he is confused by something or isn't totally 100% there with me, he tries to be, and that's so <3333.
3) He's so kind, loving and affectionate. He always pays me compliments and makes me feel loved and desired (which is a huuuuge fucking thing for me). He makes me feel special, and even on my darkest of days he reminds me to shine like the star I am.
4) He's so passionate, let's just say...thing are never boring between us ;).
5) He's so creative and inspiring. I get drunk on his imagination/art whatever you wanna call it, and it makes me want to do the same and to improve myself as a person.
6) He's protective of me, he always has my best interests at heart.
7) We share the same fucked-up sense of humour, so I think he's the most hilarious person ever. Being funny = instantly sexy.
8) Speaking of sexy, that he is. SO SEXY, DAAAAYUUUUM.
9) We can talk for hours and not get bored. We don't even need to be talking about something interesting or specific, just stupid shit, but we never run out of things to say. It just flows between us, the chemistry so so thick you could cut it with a knife.
10) He's honest with me, at all times, and I am with him. This is why we work, I mean all of this combined plus so many other things, but especially this one. You need honesty in relationships, and we have that. If we ever have problems, we bring them up. He'll do it first because he's a bit more direct with me, I kinda store it away for a while, but eventually I'm like "Fuck this, I keep thinking about it and if I don't ask I'll never know."
 

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Once when I had a migraine my previous girlfriend brought up a hot bowl of noodle soup. That was nice. :)
 
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She's sexy as fuck. Even when she's not trying, or she says she doesn't look good or whatever, I still want to bang the shit out of her.

Her personality is so bubbly and joyous, she is always putting me in a good mood.

There's a pureness about her, a childlike sort of innocence that is beautiful.

She's a dog person. She loves all animals, but favors dogs. If she was a cat person I wouldn't be with her.

She has an amazing ass. Flawless. Sexy. DATASS. I don't know whether to spank it, lick it, fuck it, or set a drink on it. I think I'll do all of those things.

Her eyes are so entrancing, her stare is so captivating and her smile is so fucking gorgeous.

Her sense of humor is amazing and she never fails to make me laugh.

She doesn't compete with me and lets me take the reigns.

She is so supportive of my dreams and visions, she helps me to relax when I'm stressed and working on my ambitions.

She is very loving and nurturing, especially when I'm feeling down.

She's the only woman I've seen that can pull off a pony tail.

She excels where I struggle, and she balances me out. We're a good match, sexually, romantically, socially, ect.
 

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Neither of us enjoys PDA but this is a very stressful time for both of us and we've both being through a lot of hardships, relationship-wise and individually, so I wanted to show some appreciation to him.

I hope it won't be too embarrassing for either of us.

I talk about him plenty, even if indirectly, but he's genuinely wonderful and I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. He's honest, witty, hardworking, focused, helpful, genuine, intelligent and protective, he downplays that aspect of his but I can just feel it every time we are together and when he listens to me. I'm usually the listener, I'm a very quiet person and the way he talks about his life, passions and even fears always captivates me because he is able to pull me into his world.

We respect each other's space and needs, both him and I both constantly moving forward and looking to improve as a person without losing the individual quirks that make me, me and that made me fall in love to begin with. He's respectful, gentle and yet bantering is fun. I can have both intellectual and random conversations with him, it was always hard for me to talk to people, let alone on cam but with him it's all so natural. He's the only one who can make me smile.

He gives me amazing advice and even if he fears he's pushing me too hard and I always fear of being depressing, a burden or too ugly and flawed, for him I always want to improve. For myself, first. And for him. He's been helping me through my mental illness and various disorders (and their recovery), he never criticizes without any good reason to and we both understand how it feels to live with mental illnesses. He understands how my past fucked me up and yet he loves me the way I am.

Even the smallest gestures become amazing surprises to me. He says I'm corny, I don't disagree with that. We have amazing sexual chemistry and he's gorgeous inside out, both incredibly sexy and somehow innocent. With him I can allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable and a bit more expressive, he knows I have a hard time vocalizing my emotions or manifesting them physically. He sees me as a person, not as a type, an ideal or as my illnesses. He sees me for me and that's what I've always been searching for.

He's not perfect, he has a lot of flaws. He's only human. I find them all beautiful even the ones I hate because they're his own and because it often leads both of us to understand each other better and, while we have a strong connection, deep understanding and open, honest communication are always fundamental. I see him as himself too and I love him the way he is although I'm extremely supportive of his choices although sincere about my thoughts on them when I disagree. I want his happiness.

I don't think anyone ever understood me fully or will ever be able to.
My inner world is impenetrable and yet I let down my walls for him.
He does so much to make me happy and I never knew I could love someone so much.

For him, I'll go through hardships and fight to be physically there.
He's worth the effort, it isn't even an effort to me. Loving him is natural.
 

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He totally ignores when I am acting like a psycho and just pretends it didn't happen. His method of dealing with provocation is complete silence, then resurfacing like la Ti da when I have calmed down. This used to irritate me, like he was avoiding any problems in our relationship, but now I realize he's actually very forgiving, does not actively try to change me and refuses to allow me to actively change him.

He's attractive and well groomed and will basically do whatever I need to get me off, he makes sure I get off first so hes not just being selfish.

He's a really fun person, the sort of guy who will wear a floppy beanie and try to keep things light and amusing. This definitely also defines his sexual personality because even though he's more intense, he's still pretty adventurous and up for whatever. Sneaky outdoor public sex? No problem.

He flatters me with compliments, keeps photos and videos of me on his phone, and is not above begging when he knows he pissed me off.

He loves small creatures, like animals and kids, and is devoted to his family. That's not about me or us, but it's one of the things I appreciate about him as a human being.
 

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- He's very loyal and hardworking.
- He patiently listens to all of my complaints. I have tons of them!
- He also listens to me rant about political and social statements lol
- He's there when I get quiet too.
- He lets me choose what we should watch :p
- He handles my fluid orientation very well.
- He tolerates my terrible singing :D
- He's very kinky :p
- He loves my sense of humor. That's crucial cuz most people don't get it at all lol
- He rubs my belly when I'm having a stomachache.
 

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I don't feel particularly kindred with anyone at this time in my life...or as if I am super-duper close. But here are some thoughts about people who I've felt grateful for knowing.

Oh...this is about a past partner:

He appreciated the little things that were meaningful to me, and listened to me talk about them, when they probably seem insignificant to many.

He shared poetry and songs, which were very individual to his tastes, but he also put a lot of consideration about me and our relationship into choosing them. They usually contained something of both his feelings and my interests.

He showed he respected my emotions at times, and in some situations made an effort to work together in order to find solutions that worked.

He cared about some core values, and seemed to care for and respect the "underdog," which I appreciate because it makes me feel safe to express my feelings about that.

He helped me to articulate, by listening to what I was trying to say and helping give definition and clearer form by sharing his thoughts and interpretation.

He had a bunch of sweet pet names and flowery language, which made me feel special to him.

He opened up and used metaphorical language, which helped me to understand what he meant as it became almost like using a unique language and set of symbols together.

He helped me work through some of the problems I wanted to fix, and supported me as I succeeded in fixing them. He gave me practical solutions to get over them, but he was also there when I was suffering, to give support and love, which helped the process.

And he shared his little goals of growing things, and his little adventures with me, and I got to listen to them.

And...now I am almost going to cry. But instead, I am going to get a coffee.

Random appreciation:

I appreciate how my friend @Wellsy shares so much about the things he cares about (as in social justice and the health and safety of minorities).

And also how he encourages by example, respecting one's own feelings, boundaries, and values, while still attempting to be flexible in life and push out of the comfort zone when it seems important.

And how Wellsy is reasonable...it's helpful because I feel like a huge mess a lot of the time, but it's nice to have a seemingly unshakable presence that I know I can trust.

My co-worker friend:

I appreciate how devoted she is to her health...she's very inspiring and I've enjoyed watching her succeed.

I also like how she cares for the children, and we can discuss issues and solutions together, to better care for others actively.

And she has so much enthusiasm sometimes...it's so gracious that she shares her encouragement about things she's not particularly interested in or identifies with, but that she still admires.

She's very down to earth as well.

And I appreciate her desire to communicate about issues and problems in order to find solutions (I think I already said that).

I appreciate plenty more people, but these are some of the people I've had more lasting correspondence with lately (actually, not the old partner, but I figured I'd just try to get it out and see what happens in my emotions...perhaps it will help with healing.)
 

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DH has a pure/good heart. He always sees the goodness in others. Sometimes I think he can be naive, but it's also such an innocent trait. I don't mind being the bitch if I can preserve that. It's so rare to see/find someone who has a heart like his.
 
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I just wanted to say that I appreciate wellsy for being here.

If I ever go cougar he's gonna be my first victim :tongue:
 
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Well, what I appreciate most, is definitely the "openness". That she is curious about life, and don't have any blind beliefs or opinions. That is probably the most attractive thing in a person to me. Being vulnerable and honest enough to admit you don't know anything, but your mind is open enough to explore everything in life. Open heart, and open mind. Then the potential in the relation is endless to me.
 

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I feel grateful to people who like to have fun, are witty and goofy but most of all kind and never ever disrespect me. I also really appreciate people who don't superficially negatively judge me at the drop of a hat and never ever forget the important things that made us become friends in the first place.

I appreciate people who are REAL; I have no use for superficial fake people who shower you with bullshit compliments that they really don't mean. How can you tell? The true people - actually WORTH appreciating actually mean it and they almost always have your back and you know that you can really count on them.

BOTTOM LINE: I appreciate people who GET me.

I know more than a few people who fit this description and those noble, amazing individuals - whether online or IRL - know who they are and why I am so honoured to have (have had) them in my life.
 

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- He is very loyal and kind.
- He is always putting whole attention on me and remember everything what I say.
- He is always being understanding even when I am having hard days and I don't treat him "sweet" as always.
- He makes me understand things in a whole different aspect.
- He is more romantic than Shakespeare.
- His Buddha voice it's like a song for my ears.
- His laugh can make me smile for an entire day.
- He is jealous. I just love that.
- He makes me feel like a goddess.
- He is the most intellectual person I know. I just fucking love his brain.
- He understands music in a way that no one does.
- He is so fucking sexy. I can't even describe it.
- He makes me feel sexy and perfect even if I am feeling an awful dork.
- He nurtures my heart and soul all the time.
- He can turn me on in just one second.
- He is always truly to himself.
- He accepts more than I accept myself.
- He is very passionate about the things he knows.
- He is the most sincere person I know. He is always keeping me real about everything and consider by thinking it, not feeling it.
 

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I will discuss past women only because, ... yeah.

1) First, my favorite aspect to find in a partner is a dedication to the concept of full love, that is all aspects of love as a sacred thing between you both. I will say that far too often, I have accepted women into my life that simply seem incapable of reaching that realization, that state.

I will also say that I will never believe the lie that anyone cannot reach that state for and about anyone else (everyone else). That is just laziness and bad wisdom. I add as well that relationships only fail because this enjoyable factor, this meaningful attribute and practice is ALLOWED or ENCOURAGED to fail.

2) Second, I enjoy the investment, beyond demand, beyond expectation, beyond even reason into the other person. Knowing what I love, how I love something done, keeping these realizations fresh, and not allowing negativity to wound this precious way of interacting.

It is a slippery slope I notice with some lovers. They seem to have this and I am thrilled and then the inertia carries them soundly into cray jealousy and clinginess and forces me to always be the bad guy underscoring and addressing this lack in their character because they refuse to. And if they continue to refuse to address it, the relationship will end. Depending on others to address anything about themselves is so very difficult.

3) I enjoy a general health in appetite in a partner in every way. Joy, sex, experiential depth and breadth, always trying new things, willingness to discuss anything, willingness to tolerate any people, etc. General openness. Closed attitudes (J type thinking) in general and finally will disgust me. Closed mindedness is death. The death of thought and possibility. The death of idealism. The death of joy.

Since I am P myself and thus drawn to some J types, that J has to be very mature and wise indeed for me to build a functioning and lasting relationship with them. Otherwise I steamroll their J attitudes and end up guilty of breaking rather than teaching. The intensity of a relationship is a hard place in which to be overtly careful and simultaneously the exact place where it is most needed. I learn best by cruel teachers. Teachers that know and are on the surface uncompromising and impatient. I am that way myself in some senses. You have to be close already to the functional truth. Then we can hone the finer points. But closeness is rare and the frustration of finding it builds an annoyance that can then eek out when there is discourse or contention in any relationship. I am not proud of that but I to am human.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Well she goes to a great deal of effort to make time for me, she's supportive of me in ways that I need to learn how to be for when someones down. She's much more proactive than me, to which I greedily relied on more than a few times because she follows the motto "get'er done!" XD.
I feel comfortable to be a bit crass in my humor with her as we seem to find many of the same things humorous which makes for some hysterics of laughter.
Though she sometimes thinks she's mean she has a great depth for caring and understanding that can push me to improve my perspective, I feel free to be myself uncensored.
She helps me clear up my messy thoughts and make me realize what areas I need to improve on in myself which is humbling to know.
 
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