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I think about what someone said back in 5th grade, over and over and over again. Literally its like a tape recorder in my head on loop every few seconds. He said he knew how to palm read and he told me what was gonna happen: how I will get married, how many kids I will have...etc

I know palm reading isn't real, but I keep thinking about this(started a few days ago). What would you do to keep a clear head and stay focused?
 

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a couple of years ago, my team was playing with a ouija board... i didn't trust it, so i sent two people that didn't know me to prove it's validity. i told them to ask about someone that that had recently died in my family. they spelled out the name (extremely uncommon name), how she died (froze to death), and the date. it said some other freaky shit, that it wasn't an accident, and that she was not resting in peace. i was freaked out.

a month later, my cousin saw a psychic (unknown to me), and the psychic told her the exact same things. she called me crying, reciting the same stuff the ouija board said to me. i couldn't even tell her about my experience until weeks after that phone call.

anyways, dealing with it... i don't try to forget it. after some time, it was less reoccurring, but it pops up every once in a while, and i just try to accept that there are forces beyond me in this world. in a way it makes me feel more connected to the world, like... i hold some sort of secret? i don't know how to describe it, but it actually puts me at ease thinking about it.

as far as non-paranormal past experiences, mistakes i have made or mean things that have been said to me play over in my mind like an attack. i just shut my eyes really hard until it's over.
 
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I think about what someone said back in 5th grade, over and over and over again. Literally its like a tape recorder in my head on loop every few seconds. He said he knew how to palm read and he told me what was gonna happen: how I will get married, how many kids I will have...etc

I know palm reading isn't real, but I keep thinking about this(started a few days ago). What would you do to keep a clear head and stay focused?
god i so relate to that
not only do they get stuck in my head
shameful memories, embarrassment, angst, unfairness... griefs.. guilt.. blah blah.. crappish ironies of the past suddenly pops up in my head in the middle of the night.. when i go for a sip of water or something in the dark
and i suddenly feel so shameful i put my head between my pillows and scream like a little girl :-0 then i become angry at either my head or life

but then immediately try to put on a thick face.. even when i see someone acting shamefully i don't feel that shameful myself as an observer.. so i try to reverse that persepctive to reduce shameful memories.. plus i cancel it out because they aren't my fault at all.. it is the environment to blame. always.

but it is so sudden.. i don't know why and which time of a day such humiliation will suddenly pop up.. and sometimes things like that seems like that doesn't have anything to do with it - like doing the dishes or filling water into a cup or something.. in the middle of that suddenly the past embarrassments pops up and haunt me :-0! somehow they are emotionally connected or bordering onto each other so that the amygdala system in my brain gets a bit confused or funny or whatever subconsious process seem to link them together :-0

oh.. and sometimes.. i feel like a cat and a crazy grandmother too

and if i read this article in a few years i will totally hate myself.. and feel humiliated about it but at the moment i am being truthful to myself.. so whatever grief from the past.. it is more or less meant to be to a certain degree.. so i say to life : F OFF, and i'm not taking it!
 
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I made a critical mistake in my love life that cost me everything. Of course I play it out in my head over and over. I wish I could just become a robot and turn off my mind. Life sucks lately and it's not getting any better. I really wish I could pull myself out of this gorge I created but I can't seem to for the life of me.
 

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i would just carpe diem your way out of it.

1. start by living in the present exclusively. the carpe diem theory. new experiences. new people. new foods. new movies. etc. go sensing crazy.

2. as those experiences start to become cohesive... i think you can throw yourself into figuring out what you like, who you like, etc. and that becomes future-oriented Ni.

(ps. i literally don't remember details. there are very few life events that i remember in detail... so in some weird way im jealous you can remember your past)
 

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I've broken off a relationship in the past with the only girl I've ever met that I have ever truly had feelings for.

She wasn't like any girl I had ever dated... Instead of going out and being boisterous, we'd stay at her house and snuggle together while watching movies. She even invited me over for dinner with her parents several times... And it all went without a hitch.

But she wouldn't kiss me. She was apprehensive about it. In my past relationships, my girlfriends would make out with me like hormone-driven primates, but this girl wouldn't.

So I got confused. I compared her to the other girls and I decided that she didn't really have feelings for me... So I broke it off. I was right in a sense; she was nothing like the other girls. She was the first to love me altruistically-- but I was too foolish to see it.

I haven't lived it down. I don't think I ever will. I defend my ego by saying "she's better off wihout me", though I still regret my decision to this day.

But in a way, I am grateful. It was a learning experience. And I swear on her honor that I will never be that blind again. I'll never make anyone suffer again like I made her.
 
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But she wouldn't kiss me. She was apprehensive about it. In my past relationships, my girlfriends would make out with me like hormone-driven primates, but this girl wouldn't.
I had the same thing with my first boyfriend...I was acting like that cause...I had a very unpleasant sexual experience half a year before we met... even though I wanted him, I just couldn't follow it...
 

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I play back memories in my mind alot. Sometimes it's sad things, other times it's because I want to understand what happened and I want to figure it out.

When I think about sad events too much. I keep focused by remembering my plans for the future, my deams etc...
 

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When I sart to reflect on foolish things I have done ect, I put them into context...how old I was for example. Should I really still feel bad about a mistake I made as a child? If I knew someone that age who did that would I think it was a big deal, or something to feel that bad about?

I think about my enviroment...was it understandable given the conditions I was in? Could it have been prevented at all, or with the information I had and the people around me was that the only action I was ever going to take?

Why did I make those choices or take those actions? If they still upset me, how I can I learn from them and use them to establish possitive change for the future.

I envisage a brighter, happier, future for myself...because I have had the opertunity to make mistakes, and learn from them. Each day I strive to be stronger and become better than the day before.

I am acepting and happy with myself and my life as it is, and I see everything from the past as leading to this state, so I have very few regrets.

One of the things I used to feel bad about was that I narrowly I didn't get into the university I wanted. I had to go to my second choice...however, in conext that meant I met a lot of good friends, and my ex. Ok, we broke up, but over all I enjoyed the relationship and it has taught me a lot. I also now know more about what I need in a partner. This will lead to better future relationships. I look forward to this. Because I went to that university I also got to graduate in a Cathedral, which I wouldn't have done otherwise...and I learnt a lot about life and people, which I could not have learnt acept from the specific expirences I had there.

As to palm reading ect...I create my own destiny. I do not simply let things happen to me or regret and focus on present or past sorrows, I activly listen to myself and change things to reach my goals and make things better.

I've always had people telling me what I can do, can't do, will do, should do...I listen to what is inside myself, and I decide what I shall do. Unless the palm reader said something I thought favorable, I'd ignore them. You can always put getting married off just to prove them wrong if you want, and to establish you have some controle over things.

It is your life.

Do not waste it on regret and supersition, live it, and make better memories for yourself.
 
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