[The Phantom]

I received an official warning today for my posts in the following thread:

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/26226-im-really-hurting-bad-right-now.html

My posts begin on page 3 with a simple piece of good advice. I get jumped on, then retaliate in a joking manner and receive a warning, I feel people need to lighten up. INTP's what do you think in light of the thread above?

 

[Just_Some_Guy]

Sorry, Boss, but you can't just think away feelings. Also, if I were looking for advice on an emotional issue, the last person I would turn to is an INTP. I think your advice was pretty rotten :tongue: but I don't think one deserves a warning for being callous.

 

[thedoctorlies]

OK, your mistake was to comment on another types page and a feeler to boot. If they come here and ask for advise then it's fair game but just as in real life it's best not to comment or give advise unless they come to you. I have a ESFJ friend I work with that confines in me with his love problems and I give it to him straight but but I try not to be cruel and he understands that I'm to the point and not trying to be hurtful. Better stay with your own kind to keep out of trouble.

 

[Merov]

Advice, should be weighed on the conciousness first, before being weighed on merit.

Allthough, asking advice warrants both good and bad, unless specifically stipulated.

 

[Arusnem]

I don't know if you deserved it, but you sure asked for it.

 

[floccinaucinihilipilifica]

I think we should not mess with the feelers. Or perhaps, I think just because we're INTPs and we have superiority complex doesn't mean it's ok for us to act like an ass.

 

[Gracie]

You got an official warning, for that? Yeesh :dry:

I can kinda see both sides, really. I don't think your advice was especially... well, helpful, but I think the others did overreact somewhat to your perceived callousness. I do think telling her she needed to grow up was a bit harsh though. Telling an INFP, or indeed any feeler, that their feelings are invalid/pointless/stupid is always a recipe for an argument, or indeed minor injuries :crazy:

 

[alionsroar]

Tip: If you have to say 'no offense, but..' before your statement, your statement probably needs to be reworded to be more tactful:wink:

 

[chiagirl27]

Telling an INFP, or indeed any feeler, that their feelings are invalid/pointless/stupid is always a recipe for an argument, or indeed minor injuries :crazy:

Telling *anyone* that their feelings are invalid is inappropriate. If you must wave your brain around, at least use a little tact.

 

[Gracie]

Telling *anyone* that their feelings are invalid is inappropriate. If you must wave your brain around, at least use a little tact.

True. I suppose what I was getting at was to bear in mind that feelers in general are probably going to be marginally more sensitive towards such a dismissal of emotional response. Not that thinkers won't care, but part of the nature of being a feeler is placing a lot of stock in how you "feel" about something, so a very blunt, logical "thinker" response isn't always going to cut it with F types. I actually like thinking responses in general - there's no bullshit - but when you're in a bad state of mind anyway... it can come across as callous.

 

[chiagirl27]

^we all have feelings. Even dominant Thinkers - and when feelings are hurt/bad/stressed, etc, we ALL can be (and usually ARE) more sensitive to judgment and criticism. Just because I'm a dominant Thinker, doesn't mean that I can accept every criticism constructively, particularly when my feelings are involved. I'm typically pretty rational, but I have my moments - like everyone. We're all human.

It's good practice to back off the "logic" a bit when dealing with other peoples' emotions. When someone is ready for a rational analysis of their behavior, they'll ask for it. When they want empathy, breaking down their faults and beating them with logic is just shitty. Whether they're a "Thinker" or a "Feeler" (and I also think that stereotyping people that way can be tricky and lead to a lot of problems in communication)

I can't empathize in most situations, so I don't butt in when I'm not directly asked. It's something I've learned over the last couple decades.

But I did get what you were saying. I just think it's better advice to watch what you say to *everyone* in emotional conversations, irrespective of assumed "type".

 

[Gracie]

Excellent point roud: I stand corrected!

You're right, really. One dominant function should not infer a complete absence of its' "shadow" function. Just like many of the feelers I've met who can be extemely rational. Tact never hurts!

 

[Promethea]

I received an official warning today for my posts in the following thread:

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/26226-im-really-hurting-bad-right-now.html

My posts begin on page 3 with a simple piece of good advice. I get jumped on, then retaliate in a joking manner and receive a warning, I feel people need to lighten up. INTP's what do you think in light of the thread above?

Actually you seem to have quite a sensitive reaction here to having a mod tell you to cut out what you were doing in that thread. You posted more than one insensitive post in the feelers thread too, and those came off like you were trying to provoke them. Also, don't post threads bawwing about moderation. It just causes drama, and its not productive - its also against the rules.

14. No Public Questionings of Decisions Made By Staff (Do It Privately)
There will be no public questioning of the decisions made by the staff. This applies to all, including the staff. Should somebody take issue with the decision of a moderator, it should be discussed privately with somebody of the administration so that action can be taken. We added this rule because the people that usually create threads of this nature are either looking for attention or drama.