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Anyone have this phenomena happen?

I generally am a listener, unless the other person is as well. However, when I'm out in public and my Se is tired, the last thing I want to do is engage in friendly banter.

But since I know I don't want to do it, I kind of force myself to do it because I would feel like I was being mean otherwise.

The sad part of it is that people don't see through the veil and continue having conversations, assuming in some way that they've found someone genuinely interested. I've been told so much TMI shit in situations where I just did not feel a connection--but the other person did...:unsure:
 

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That's because listeners give off that effect. If you appear interested, you will appear interesting. As much as you let someone spill their heart out because people love talking about themselves, they'll love you for that. Soo yeah, its pretty comforting talking to listeners.
 

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Haha, yeah. It's strange how you can be "socially" nice to folks, carrying on a conversation while your brain screams "I DON'T CARE! WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN GET BACK TO MY THOUGHTS?!" and they can't hear it. Lol. I'm not even joking, I can hear my brain say that.

Not sure if you ever do this, but sometimes I try to convey the fact I'm just being socially nice to folks through body language to see if they're actually reading me...and nope, nothing. You know, yawn a few too many times, look around at stuff on the walls while they talk, only reply with "Hmmm", or ask random unrelated questions. And yet there they are, carrying on in great detail and depth about some personal aspect that I just don't know them well enough to care about...

Until it's just awkward and we part ways. Them surely thinking they've found their soul mate, and me wondering why I willingly gave up those two hours of my life.

(no joke, I've been on dates like this where the person TALKS AT ME for 3 hours while I yawn, check my phone, stare at the football game on the tv, build a fort out of the sugar packs, and after they tell me what an awesome connection we had, while I'm deleting them from my phone directory : P Hell, one actually gave me the entire story of how he met his ex, why they broke up and how much he still misses her and wants her back. ON A DATE!

Gawd, sucks to be a listener somedays.
 

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I try not to give off the impression that I'm interested when I'm not. It is difficult. I think perhaps my brain doesn't have enough options to replace that sort of behavior with. I feel bad about it though, and in no way am I upset with people for not noticing that I'm uninterested. I know I'm good at it, so why should I expect others to read something different than what I put off?

Sometimes, I actually worry if my INFJ roommate does the same to me, and being around her, I too realize how great it is to have somebody "interested" in what you're saying for once :/
 

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I am somewhat different, in the way that I am genuinely interested in what people have to say, and I love listening to it, but I always am uncomfortable in the way that I worry that I am not good enough for them or that they might not like me, so that makes me a little uncomfortable around people. I usually try my best to put that aside though and make a connection with them, especially if they are trying to be friends with me.
 

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Haha, yeah. It's strange how you can be "socially" nice to folks, carrying on a conversation while your brain screams "I DON'T CARE! WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN GET BACK TO MY THOUGHTS?!" and they can't hear it. Lol. I'm not even joking, I can hear my brain say that.

Not sure if you ever do this, but sometimes I try to convey the fact I'm just being socially nice to folks through body language to see if they're actually reading me...and nope, nothing. You know, yawn a few too many times, look around at stuff on the walls while they talk, only reply with "Hmmm", or ask random unrelated questions. And yet there they are, carrying on in great detail and depth about some personal aspect that I just don't know them well enough to care about...

Until it's just awkward and we part ways. Them surely thinking they've found their soul mate, and me wondering why I willingly gave up those two hours of my life.

(no joke, I've been on dates like this where the person TALKS AT ME for 3 hours while I yawn, check my phone, stare at the football game on the tv, build a fort out of the sugar packs, and after they tell me what an awesome connection we had, while I'm deleting them from my phone directory : P Hell, one actually gave me the entire story of how he met his ex, why they broke up and how much he still misses her and wants her back. ON A DATE!

Gawd, sucks to be a listener somedays.

Yes, this same thing has been happening with an ENFP lately...

He is driving me crazy. Sure, it was initially fun talking with him. But I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO LISTEN 10 hours a day. And ever since he began being annoying in that sense I can't stand a minute of it. I JUST WANT TO BE BY MYSELF. And I will do all those things you mentioned, but all I keep getting from him is "You're such a great friend...", "We're so compatible...", "I can't believe you're such a caring person...", "I feel like I can connect with you on a different level...", "I love you..."

...He makes me want to cry and tell him to fuck off, but I'm too nice to do that. Damn. Like right now I'm just blatantly ignoring his skype calls and messages. But then eventually when I do get back to him, he drains my energy in a matter of two minutes, when he'd be willing to talk for hours.
 

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Omg I know the feeling,
I have to say I love being with people and hearing them,
But after a while the line wears VERY thin,
But they hardly ever see the difference as I don't act rudely about it.

Sometimes I come away from a place feeling like I've pushed someone away,
Only to find out they had found it deeply connecting,
I'm all like:
"But I wanted to get away"
 
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