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Discussion Starter #1
Well since I joined up here Ive been reading ALOT ...My whole drive for coming was because I felt lost, I didn't who I was know where I fitted into the world (the whole big picture kind of thing). I worry sometimes that I may never 'get it' or at least that I won't feel I can 'fit in' because I don't understand....I need to grow!

Anyway...background....yesterday I was strangely agressive, almost silently though, I didn't feel agressive but I was very aware that I was coming across that way. I spoke to hardly anyone, I spent time at home completely alone.has been not much different though Ive felt restless and uncomfortable, not to the point of being emotional but defiantely somewhere in between.

Im actually quite fearful as now I dont feel like 'me' anymore...and I no that must sound a bit odd as Ive contradicted myself by saying earlier that I didn't know who I was anyway.....But here, im your smiley happy bit crazy, bit witty 28 year old single Mum of two beautiful highly intelligent daughters, 2 bed terraced house in middle England, lovely family, lovely friends. But now I don't feel like that person anymore, I feel like a blank canvas - Maybe that is normal, I am rebuilding maybe? Does that mean Im going to end up a different type? I like the person I was, I found comfort in it.....I don't want to change, I just really want to know who I am?

It sounds a little like im panicking doesn't it??? I just want someone to tell me it's happening....My 28 year long desire to know ME is beginning, im on the road and this....all of this, is it starting and that im going forwards not backwards...What should I expect, does it just *click*?

Im also worried my people loving is disappearing, I don't feel the need right now to go out and interact, I read somewhere that sometimes we, ENFPs, do that....To get centered...Is that what im doing?

Im so sorry for the fact ive bleeted on like nobodies business tonight...But I really need reassure/insight from the one's in my life I value so highly....you guys, you understand me, more than i understand myself...because your there yourselves...or you've been there.

Thank you so so much...Pie

Ps. I should add...it might help, I am/was ENFP Type 4 (Type 4 ENFPs are also upfront eccentrics, but whereas the Type 7 wants to be eccentric for the sake of it, the Type 4 uses eccentricity as a means to be admired. Sense of humor is sometimes crude but is usually very witty. Female Type 4 ENFPs are quite sweet and bubbly. Both genders are amazing to talk to; they’re much easier to talk to about serious subjects than either 2 or 7, and they long for deep connections. Archetype of the hopeless romantic or melodramatic is frequently found in them. They want to get to know your heart, mind and soul. Tends to wear stylish, multi-colored clothing. Hippie fashion is also very common. Unhealthy Type 4 ENFPs are quite competitive with those around them and feel hurt, ashamed and envious when they don’t measure up to everyone elses performances. If left unchecked, this envy sometimes turns into full-on spite.
 

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you sound lost. i think (i might be wrong) that this kind of "feeling lost" is something which ENFPs uniquely experience, i don't mean lost in the way that everyone can sometimes feel, but genuinely feeling like a loss of identity and feeling like you have no personality to begin with.

can i ask what caused you to feel this way? there must be something, whether it be the loss of important people in your life, or a stressful job, or sometimes for me the problem is that NOTHING changes and life becomes too routine.
i once did feel something like what you described. i took a couple of years to simply think things through, and organise the thoughts and feelings in my head, and after i came out the other end of the "journey" i felt a lot better.
 

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Yer i honestly feel it is a journey ...and come the other side ill be completely in control of my life and be able to achieve whatever it is i set my heart on....I feel very ENFP most of the time although Ive always felt Ive not known myself. Ive been in relationships alot and I know that ENFP tend to take on traits of the partner. Ive been single now for 8 months albeit one fella who I clicked with but subsquently fooked up (though aall the while, I knew I shouldnt be involving myself with anyone...because if this desire to know who I was). So nothing major upset the apple cart, I just don't feel like me anymore. I normally speak to my best friend daily but Ive not initated conversation in a few days, im normally on the phone chatting to my Mum or friends, but I have nothing to say, i want to be silent..
 

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you need to meet new people.
 
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Hey,

Ive always felt like I haven't known myself though now single, I feel I can explore it more (i find its harder to find your own identity when you are a couple). Its just the last few days I havent felt myself, my normal zest for life has gone walkies and appreciated, this happens from time to time...but I don't feel depressed, Im not really stressed....im also not due any monthly hormone rushes, I don't really know why and nothing has brought it on, I wouldnt say - Other than learning about MBTI and personal growth blah...so I wondered if it was a normal thing when your discovering yourself...Thanks :proud:

Thanks Starri for your post....Im not sure, I normally do day to day meet all sorts of people, but the drive has left me, i just feel vacant..weird...

It might just be a passing mood, I was just wondering if it was something I should recognise as a potential movement in my attributes/personality type...
 

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Wow it must be hard being a single mother of two at only 28. Alot of stress and anxiety I'm presuming. I'm 17 and I'm independent and been so for the last 3 months. Not having family is hard but I learning to live like an adult. I still go to high school I do EMT school , and I work part time I'm just thankful I have supportive room mates who help me alot.
 

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Enfpie? Could it be that currently, you feel as though you're life exists in a vacuum? Like time is frozen, and you feel a bit empty, and incomplete, in a way? If so, then that's totally existential..

I think it's normal that we sometimes feel zest-less, because we start to hit that 'funk' where we are in no mans territory..

I don't have much to say, but reading about what you're going through reminds me of what I'm going through as well.. It's sorta foreign to me.

Could it also be because life's starting to feel a bit routine, like you need a change of pace/or something different?

Kuddos for posting- takes lots of guts to even talk about stuff like this, because it's common a misconception that ENFPs hardly feel like this once in a while.. :unsure:
 

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Iron Fist
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I mean like, plunge yourself in a new environment. When you have to deal with a lot of new people you'll act the personality you are, and you'll observe enough to understand without being lost.
 
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i think maybe it could be the routine thing, being that you've been single for a while for the first time in a while you don't have a relationship to focus your energy on.

i think the greatest healing tool ENFPs can use is change. a new environment and new people is the best cure for any ENFP, it's just not always possible because of responsibilities obviously. a new environment might give you a fresh sense of identity too, since our self-image is largely dependent on how others see us.
 

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Also, as any other human needs- validation/recognition.. to have someone to look at us with regard, like we 'matter.'

Being a mom is more than a full-time job.. Add two children in the picture? It's easy to feel a little burnt out, right?

And, I can imagine for an ENFP to feel as though we have to pull strings together all on our own (for anyone in general) can feel like it robs our energy away and we need a 'break' to take care of ourselves sometimes..

*hugs* Sounds like some R&R and a mini vaca will do!:happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Thanks for all the comments guys..... xx
 

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Well since I joined up here Ive been reading ALOT ...My whole drive for coming was because I felt lost, I didn't who I was know where I fitted into the world (the whole big picture kind of thing). I worry sometimes that I may never 'get it' or at least that I won't feel I can 'fit in' because I don't understand....I need to grow!

Anyway...background....yesterday I was strangely agressive, almost silently though, I didn't feel agressive but I was very aware that I was coming across that way. I spoke to hardly anyone, I spent time at home completely alone.has been not much different though Ive felt restless and uncomfortable, not to the point of being emotional but defiantely somewhere in between.

Im actually quite fearful as now I dont feel like 'me' anymore...and I no that must sound a bit odd as Ive contradicted myself by saying earlier that I didn't know who I was anyway.....But here, im your smiley happy bit crazy, bit witty 28 year old single Mum of two beautiful highly intelligent daughters, 2 bed terraced house in middle England, lovely family, lovely friends. But now I don't feel like that person anymore, I feel like a blank canvas - Maybe that is normal, I am rebuilding maybe? Does that mean Im going to end up a different type? I like the person I was, I found comfort in it.....I don't want to change, I just really want to know who I am?

It sounds a little like im panicking doesn't it??? I just want someone to tell me it's happening....My 28 year long desire to know ME is beginning, im on the road and this....all of this, is it starting and that im going forwards not backwards...What should I expect, does it just *click*?

Im also worried my people loving is disappearing, I don't feel the need right now to go out and interact, I read somewhere that sometimes we, ENFPs, do that....To get centered...Is that what im doing?

Im so sorry for the fact ive bleeted on like nobodies business tonight...But I really need reassure/insight from the one's in my life I value so highly....you guys, you understand me, more than i understand myself...because your there yourselves...or you've been there.

Thank you so so much...Pie

Ps. I should add...it might help, I am/was ENFP Type 4 (Type 4 ENFPs are also upfront eccentrics, but whereas the Type 7 wants to be eccentric for the sake of it, the Type 4 uses eccentricity as a means to be admired. Sense of humor is sometimes crude but is usually very witty. Female Type 4 ENFPs are quite sweet and bubbly. Both genders are amazing to talk to; they’re much easier to talk to about serious subjects than either 2 or 7, and they long for deep connections. Archetype of the hopeless romantic or melodramatic is frequently found in them. They want to get to know your heart, mind and soul. Tends to wear stylish, multi-colored clothing. Hippie fashion is also very common. Unhealthy Type 4 ENFPs are quite competitive with those around them and feel hurt, ashamed and envious when they don’t measure up to everyone elses performances. If left unchecked, this envy sometimes turns into full-on spite.
I know I encountered my first mid-life transition at 29 and needed the help of a counselor to get me through.

It will happen again too. We are always changing and growing. If you feel "weird" or like something isn't right, pay attention to that. You might really need a therapist who can support you and validate you while you go through this time and help you find yourself. But you may end up changing a little by the end. That can be scary. And that's okay to admit. Think of it as birthing pains while on your way to becoming the bigger and even better awesome you!
 
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Discussion Starter #15
Thanks Pink....thats very reassuring...im currently on a waiting list for therapy (hpefully not much longer) :)

P x
 
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