Well since I joined up here Ive been reading ALOT ...My whole drive for coming was because I felt lost, I didn't who I was know where I fitted into the world (the whole big picture kind of thing). I worry sometimes that I may never 'get it' or at least that I won't feel I can 'fit in' because I don't understand....I need to grow!
Anyway...background....yesterday I was strangely agressive, almost silently though, I didn't feel agressive but I was very aware that I was coming across that way. I spoke to hardly anyone, I spent time at home completely alone.has been not much different though Ive felt restless and uncomfortable, not to the point of being emotional but defiantely somewhere in between.
Im actually quite fearful as now I dont feel like 'me' anymore...and I no that must sound a bit odd as Ive contradicted myself by saying earlier that I didn't know who I was anyway.....But here, im your smiley happy bit crazy, bit witty 28 year old single Mum of two beautiful highly intelligent daughters, 2 bed terraced house in middle England, lovely family, lovely friends. But now I don't feel like that person anymore, I feel like a blank canvas - Maybe that is normal, I am rebuilding maybe? Does that mean Im going to end up a different type? I like the person I was, I found comfort in it.....I don't want to change, I just really want to know who I am?
It sounds a little like im panicking doesn't it??? I just want someone to tell me it's happening....My 28 year long desire to know ME is beginning, im on the road and this....all of this, is it starting and that im going forwards not backwards...What should I expect, does it just *click*?
Im also worried my people loving is disappearing, I don't feel the need right now to go out and interact, I read somewhere that sometimes we, ENFPs, do that....To get centered...Is that what im doing?
Im so sorry for the fact ive bleeted on like nobodies business tonight...But I really need reassure/insight from the one's in my life I value so highly....you guys, you understand me, more than i understand myself...because your there yourselves...or you've been there.
Thank you so so much...Pie
Ps. I should add...it might help, I am/was ENFP Type 4 (Type 4 ENFPs are also upfront eccentrics, but whereas the Type 7 wants to be eccentric for the sake of it, the Type 4 uses eccentricity as a means to be admired. Sense of humor is sometimes crude but is usually very witty. Female Type 4 ENFPs are quite sweet and bubbly. Both genders are amazing to talk to; they’re much easier to talk to about serious subjects than either 2 or 7, and they long for deep connections. Archetype of the hopeless romantic or melodramatic is frequently found in them. They want to get to know your heart, mind and soul. Tends to wear stylish, multi-colored clothing. Hippie fashion is also very common. Unhealthy Type 4 ENFPs are quite competitive with those around them and feel hurt, ashamed and envious when they don’t measure up to everyone elses performances. If left unchecked, this envy sometimes turns into full-on spite.
Anyway...background....yesterday I was strangely agressive, almost silently though, I didn't feel agressive but I was very aware that I was coming across that way. I spoke to hardly anyone, I spent time at home completely alone.has been not much different though Ive felt restless and uncomfortable, not to the point of being emotional but defiantely somewhere in between.
Im actually quite fearful as now I dont feel like 'me' anymore...and I no that must sound a bit odd as Ive contradicted myself by saying earlier that I didn't know who I was anyway.....But here, im your smiley happy bit crazy, bit witty 28 year old single Mum of two beautiful highly intelligent daughters, 2 bed terraced house in middle England, lovely family, lovely friends. But now I don't feel like that person anymore, I feel like a blank canvas - Maybe that is normal, I am rebuilding maybe? Does that mean Im going to end up a different type? I like the person I was, I found comfort in it.....I don't want to change, I just really want to know who I am?
It sounds a little like im panicking doesn't it??? I just want someone to tell me it's happening....My 28 year long desire to know ME is beginning, im on the road and this....all of this, is it starting and that im going forwards not backwards...What should I expect, does it just *click*?
Im also worried my people loving is disappearing, I don't feel the need right now to go out and interact, I read somewhere that sometimes we, ENFPs, do that....To get centered...Is that what im doing?
Im so sorry for the fact ive bleeted on like nobodies business tonight...But I really need reassure/insight from the one's in my life I value so highly....you guys, you understand me, more than i understand myself...because your there yourselves...or you've been there.
Thank you so so much...Pie
Ps. I should add...it might help, I am/was ENFP Type 4 (Type 4 ENFPs are also upfront eccentrics, but whereas the Type 7 wants to be eccentric for the sake of it, the Type 4 uses eccentricity as a means to be admired. Sense of humor is sometimes crude but is usually very witty. Female Type 4 ENFPs are quite sweet and bubbly. Both genders are amazing to talk to; they’re much easier to talk to about serious subjects than either 2 or 7, and they long for deep connections. Archetype of the hopeless romantic or melodramatic is frequently found in them. They want to get to know your heart, mind and soul. Tends to wear stylish, multi-colored clothing. Hippie fashion is also very common. Unhealthy Type 4 ENFPs are quite competitive with those around them and feel hurt, ashamed and envious when they don’t measure up to everyone elses performances. If left unchecked, this envy sometimes turns into full-on spite.
roud:
