So tell me more about this... does it play into what I was saying about owning one's personal likes? Does it have to do with having an "insensitive" group of peers? Am I missing it? I'm really interested to know more about this type of reservation.
For me it doesn't have anything to do with owning my personal likes. If MBTI and cognitive functions ever came up in conversations somehow I would definitely say that I am interested in it. My group of peers isn't insensitive, they're just apathetic. Now if I had a group of peers that cared about this stuff and would appreciate my videos that would definitely contribute to my motivation to make one.
For me its mostly the thought: "Somewhere in the world someone is watching this video and possibly making fun of it. Either my voice, appearance, content, something." And I think this fear mostly comes from the group of peers I used to game with. They (to a larger extent than me) mercilessly ridiculed people for all sorts of things. So I have first hand experience with those types of people and I know that they're out there and could possibly be watching this.
And I think the fear of these type of people ridiculing me, even though they probably wouldn't say it directly to me because they're too cowardly or lazy or something, is only there because I've never really had a group of supportive friends in my life. All through grade school, middle school, and high school I didn't have a best friend or even a group friends that I really felt close to and was encouraging/supportive; essentially I was a lone wolf, and not by choice. This is still the case today (I'm 26 by the way).
As a side note I stayed at home when I went to college and worked during the day and took classes at night, so not having this group wasn't a huge deal for me since I was terribly busy. Dang, I wish I could do footnotes in a post....
So then, I think its the fear that someone will ridicule me for something in the video and the lack of a supportive group of friends to fall back on should that happen. I would basically feel alone and unloved/unappreciated and I've felt this way a good part of my life already and hate it. Even though I know logically that people do appreciate me because they tell me so I sometimes have issues believing that they do because they don't really back it up with any type of action. Its basically just lip service to me now. I'm waiting for the day when one of these people actually backs up their words. And I'm not as cynical towards people as I sound by the way...only when I dwell on it...
So I guess basically I'm just a little insecure.
Hope this helps.
So do you think that you and I have similar mannerisms?
I've noticed that most INFJs in the videos I have seen tend to pause every so often while they are talking and then resume. I've noticed myself do this in conversations quite often as well. However, I don't know if its a type thing. I think it might be more of an introvert thing actually since I haven't noticed this behavior in extraverts to the extent that I have in introverts.
And in case your curious I am now afraid that someone is psychoanalyzing my post and will respond by questioning my type! Haha. Although if someone actually did this I know that they would just be trying to help, so it wouldn't be a big deal.