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An annoying thing teacher always ask on the first day of school, but one that sometimes has interesting/funny answers. Some of mine might be:
When people match their outfits with their kids
When people burp and pretend nothing happened
Noisy chewing (Guess I just like table manners...)
Screaming babies
When people won't pick an opinion on something totally simple ie. Dr pepper or coke...
 

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People who don't control their kids in grocery stores
People who walk too slow and take up the entire walkway or hallway
When people ask a ton of questions instead of asking a couple in a way that gets them the info they're after
When people at petsmart tell customers false information and they're listened to because they're "experts"
Logical fallacies.
 

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1. LOGICAL FREAKING FALLACIES DRIVE ME NUTS.
'swhy I don't get along with INTJs xP (buuurrrnn)

2. When people talk at me like I'm stupid
3. When people are pedants over grammar (It's alright to a degree, but really, it's just obnoxious)
4. The color yellow
5. When arguing with people and they either take it offensively or they start making assumptions, or they can't accept defeat.

1,2, and 5 make me so angry, I start shaking a bit, and my voice raises.
 

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3. When people are pedants over grammar (It's alright to a degree, but really, it's just obnoxious)
As for me: When people get all in a huff about my grammatical Nazism. :wink:

...and, y'know, when they make grammatical errors in the first place.
 

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There's not much wrong with it, but, and I'm referencing "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" here, when someone gets upset because a grocery store's sign reads "five items or less", it's crossing a line. The majority don't notice, and don't care. The meaning is conveyed, and no one is confused. Now, I'm all for apostrophe-freaks.

Oh, and when people get mad at others for making up words to more accurately describe something, or for making nouns into verbs. Stephen Fry's rant on this in one of his podgrams aids me in getting to sleep some nights. ^-^
 

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How my dad always tucks his T-shirt in.
Slow drivers.
People who get offended when I criticize other people.
Morning midterms.
People who ask me stupid questions like "Choose now, Dr. Pepper or Coke?"
Fat girls and middle-aged women wearing those black tights (make no mistake, I love it on a hot girl!)
Fat girls and ugly girls in general.
White gangster wannabees who drive shitted-up Honda Civic.
My fluid dynamics professor.
How loud my mom (INFJ) laughs at her own jokes. They don't happen often, think six to ten times per year, but when she does she laughs for days.
People who get offended by my tone of voice when I'm being an ass (50% of the time)
How my friends make clicking noises when I'm talking to people on the phone in Afrikaans (South African language).
Your friend's band. And no, I don't want to go to his show.
People who ask me how my day/weekend was, when we both know neither of us gives a shit.
How easy it was for me to come up with this list, and I'm not even a pessimist.
 

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People who take it personal
People who don't like batteries and gift cards as belated birthday gifts (now seriously what are you gonna use a stuffed animal for?)
Desperate chicks
My slow ass pos cell phone
People who are oblivious
Attendance policies
People who talk too much
That kid I know who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The fact that I can't get ALL of my friends to disown him^
Bad coffee
Being hooked on caffeine
Not getting enough sleep
Sleeping is so unproductive
People who say I suck at driving. (If I actually was a bad driver we would be dead by now, that's the difference)
Hanging out with two girls you're interested in isn't efficient, it's counterproductive
 

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That kid I know who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The fact that I can't get ALL of my friends to disown him^
I have a similar problem, but with a friend who's just a terrible person altogether.
 
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The INFJ sub-forum had a "What grinds your gears?" thread. Here's what I put:

You know what really grinds my gears? I'll tell you.

1. Water. That refreshing, mountain spring, life giving crap you hear about all the time. Yeah it's all nice and sparkley when you spend money for it like at the grocery store or a fancy beach in Mexico. Pull out the dough and water is all like "I'm all sparkly and shiny and good for you. look at me, aren't I wonderful?" And when you have no money, then water is like F*CK YOU LOUISIANA!!! It unleashes the smack on you with hurricanes and flash flooding. And every now and then it'll fling a shark at you for its own amusement. To this I say F*ck You Water! F*ck You!

2. The clutch in my car. Yeah, the very thing that is supposed to shift my car up and down misses at the right moments and makes that sound ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr. To which I go gggggggggggrrrrrrrrr!!!!! It does it when I'm starting up a hill making almost hit the guy behind me. It does it when I'm on a first date, now the girl thinks I'm a bad driver or I just have a crappy car. Sometimes it does it just to f*ck with me. Yes people, my clutch really grinds my gears.

3. NASAs trip to the moon. Those f*ckers failed miserably and spent our money doing it!!! We were all expecting to see Neil Armstrong to return as the werewolf king but instead he just plays golf while he's up there! ??????!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! Now we got this genetically inferior crap like teen wolf and twilight. Someone better come out with a real beast. Bunch of sissies.

4.GEARS!!! YES, GEARS!! They work all nice and everything when all is good. In a watch, in a car, in a camera. all is cool if you handle it gently. Bump into them and they're all like "f*ck this, I quit. I don't get paid enough to be treated like this" Just about everything I buy that has gears has to be handled gently or "it breaks". Cry me a river and get back to work!

5. 6. That's right. The number 6. Why? because it's so damn scared of number 7 that it just hides anywhere it can. Big deal, 7 8 9. You would think that after so many jokes it would get the idea and fight the "mighty" number 7 but no! Still hides like a coward.

6. WTF are you still doing here?! Get up there and fight 7!!!
 

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I have a similar problem, but with a friend who's just a terrible person altogether.
It seems my only two options are to ignore the person or execute them. The first idea won't happen and I haven't found a legal to go about the second. Let me know if you come up with anything :wink:
 

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It seems my only two options are to ignore the person or execute them. The first idea won't happen and I haven't found a legal to go about the second. Let me know if you come up with anything :wink:
This is where clever calculated manipulation comes into play. You've got to turn your friends against NPD friend by releasing false rumours about him. The key is that your friends don't realize YOU released it. Put like a picture of one of your friends' girlfriends as his desktop or something, and make sure other people see it.

Also, if you talk negatively about NPD friend enough behind his back, other people will gradually share your belief. Because they have no choice. Most people really don't have independent thought.

Lastly, go completely cold on NPD friend. Don't tell him you hate him, imply it with your body language and tone of voice. Speak to him in monotone only, answer in yes and no only and give no explanations.

The combination of the above should do the trick. You're welcome, bitch.
 

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Whistling. It drives me batty. :angry:
People who live to make online games hell for others.
People who think other people online are not real. (wth?)
People who are rude and mean to newbies.
People who start cracking Asian racist jokes when I bring up that I like Asian music/food/etc. (I stare at them and wonder what the logic is behind their behavior.)
Being treated like I'm 15. Being told that I look 15. Being told that I will be thankful when I turn 30/40/etc. (You're telling this to the girl who, when she found out her grandmother's hair was white by age 30, hoped the same would happen to her.)
Being teased.
Being ignored.
 

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This is where clever calculated manipulation comes into play. You've got to turn your friends against NPD friend by releasing false rumours about him. The key is that your friends don't realize YOU released it. Put like a picture of one of your friends' girlfriends as his desktop or something, and make sure other people see it.

Also, if you talk negatively about NPD friend enough behind his back, other people will gradually share your belief. Because they have no choice. Most people really don't have independent thought.

Lastly, go completely cold on NPD friend. Don't tell him you hate him, imply it with your body language and tone of voice. Speak to him in monotone only, answer in yes and no only and give no explanations.

The combination of the above should do the trick. You're welcome, bitch.
The problem here is I'm trying to maintain my other friends while ostracizing him. My other friends would catch on to any manipulation because they know me that well. However, We are all in agreement that he's a terrible person, but they think it's more convenient to simply put up with him rather than ostracize him. On of my friends, bless her ENFP-ness, thinks she has to keep being his friend because she doesn't want to lose favor with his mom, and she's never stopped being someone's friend before, which bugs me a bit, but I don't say anything. It's not my choice to decide who they're friends with. All I can do is let them know where I stand. If they end up choosing him over me, then I know they weren't worth keeping as friends in the first place, and I made a mistake in trusting people that much.
 

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This is where clever calculated manipulation comes into play. You've got to turn your friends against NPD friend by releasing false rumours about him. The key is that your friends don't realize YOU released it. Put like a picture of one of your friends' girlfriends as his desktop or something, and make sure other people see it.

Also, if you talk negatively about NPD friend enough behind his back, other people will gradually share your belief. Because they have no choice. Most people really don't have independent thought.

Lastly, go completely cold on NPD friend. Don't tell him you hate him, imply it with your body language and tone of voice. Speak to him in monotone only, answer in yes and no only and give no explanations.

The combination of the above should do the trick. You're welcome, bitch.
Ahh you see but this is what I have done. Now my large group of friends has segmentized (idk if that's a word, don't really care either) into smaller groups and I am losing my grip on the situation.

Especially since my dumbass friend who I've helped an incredible amount is dating another manipulator and he is coaching her against me. Now is the time for physical weaponry.
 

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This is where clever calculated manipulation comes into play. You've got to turn your friends against NPD friend by releasing false rumours about him. The key is that your friends don't realize YOU released it. Put like a picture of one of your friends' girlfriends as his desktop or something, and make sure other people see it.

Also, if you talk negatively about NPD friend enough behind his back, other people will gradually share your belief. Because they have no choice. Most people really don't have independent thought.

Lastly, go completely cold on NPD friend. Don't tell him you hate him, imply it with your body language and tone of voice. Speak to him in monotone only, answer in yes and no only and give no explanations.

The combination of the above should do the trick. You're welcome, bitch.
Just had to brag, I fished him to bitch me out (and threaten me) on Facebook, and then proceeded to destroy him. His only response was "lol". A big win in my book... :crazy:
 

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People who ride my ass while I'm driving.

People who try to sound cute when they sneeze. Usually women who let out an extremely high pitched "chew!" at the end. Just fucking sneeze! Christ!

Eating iced cream out of a plastic cup using a plastic spoon. Worse than nails on a chalkboard.

Environmentalists who ride their bikes down the middle of a busy road during rush hour when the sidewalk is empty just to piss off people with cars. SORRY I LIVE ABOUT 30 FUCKING MILES FROM WHERE MY JOB IS YOU FUCKING DICK! I'M NOT LANCE ARMSTRONG AND I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING SHOWER AT MY WORK YOU SMUG BASTARD! I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA RUN YOU OVER! .... Sorry, I know that the caps lock can be QUITE PAINFUL, but it felt good, and venting my rage may have saved that biker's life.
 

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1. People who take life too seriously.
2. Someone chewing gum behind me ahhhhh.
3. Having a mentally challenged man laugh uncontrollably when I take my clothes off to go swimming.
4. Kids who need to be smacked.
 

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Slow talkers
When you can hear other people's mouth noises
Being touched by random people in public, like when crowds push past you in a busy train station
People who walk slowly and veer across the footpath so you can't overtake them
Poetry

I used to hate light rail (are you a train or a tram? Make up your mind!) but I learned to like it.
 
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