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So, I am not mainly a 6, but I have a little in there in my tritype, see (my 7 has a 6 wing). I'm fairly certain that the 6 I have going on is counterphobic. For a while, I was a bit confused trying to figure out if I had some 8ishness going on. My question is, counterphobic 6s, do you notice/experience a clash with phobic 6s? (And phobic 6s, do you notice/experience a clash with counterphobic 6s?)

I seem to have problems with phobic 6s a lot, especially when they get very avoidant with me. I just don't seem to accept that, because I've been where they are, but it was not a good place, and I care enough about other people not to let them indulge that habit. However, my assertiveness can rattle the hell out of a phobic 6 and ultimately end in doorslam. You know, I do try to let people live how they will, but sometimes I can't quite get myself to back off.
 
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MOTM Feb 2010
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I've noticed this too. You think you've found an ally with a six, but then you realize they're phobic, so when the going gets tough, you puff up and they quit. I despise the dynamic that this creates. I am vitalized by the "when in the kill zone, assault through the ambush" mentality. I want there to be tension as it keeps me on my toes. When I become intellectually aggressive, I'm looking to wrestle playfully. It sucks when the other taps out at first chance.

I wonder if I could fit any more combat analogies in here...
 

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I enjoy phobic 6s. But my expirences are not bad. When the tough get going they don't quit. They have more of a attack and run away crying attitude.
 
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I'm pretty sure that I'm a 6w5sw(5w4). But of course, I won't be fully sure until I really figure out enneagram. I do identify as mostly counterphobic, though. And I think my mom may be a phobic 6. I'm not completely sure if this has anything to do with the fact that she's probably phobic, but I atleast know that I'm not like this.

The only thing that kinda gets to me about her way of thinking is that she seems to be dependent on some system of beliefs(Catholicism) by which she'll stick whether it fully makes sense, or not. And she seems to judge everything by this system of beliefs.
 

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MOTM February 2014
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The only thing that kinda gets to me about her way of thinking is that she seems to be dependent on some system of beliefs(Catholicism) by which she'll stick whether it fully makes sense, or not. And she seems to judge everything by this system of beliefs.
I wouldn't call that a phobic trait. Both my mother and I are phobic Sixes and while we have differing beliefs (I'm agnostic, she was raised as a Baptist), we aren't dependent on those systems. Heck, I see religion as a crutch for some people. The closest I get to relying on a "system of beliefs" is my own values, but that's just Fi.

Counterphobics interest me. I find them fascinating to watch, sometimes follow. When we clash, though, it's usually because they see me as too afraid and I see them as too... trigger-happy, ready to fight. It's especially interesting if I go counterphobic and the other goes phobic. Role-reversal for the win!
 

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The closest I get to relying on a "system of beliefs" is my own values, but that's just Fi.
Do you think that that gives you guidance, in some way?
 

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MOTM February 2014
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Do you think that that gives you guidance, in some way?
Not in everyday life, no. I can't articulate my values well (I think most INFPs have this problem) and they don't cover everything. It's not like a religious person saying, "I follow the Bible's rules." Fi is more situational and when our values aren't violated, we--as a generalization--just try to be good people as best as we know how. There's no rulebook inherent with Fi.

Is that what you wanted to know?
 

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Is that what you wanted to know?
Well, I'm still trying to figure out if I really am a 6. So I'm trying to figure out how type sixes work, basically.
But I actually think that 6w7's look for outside support while 6w5's are more likely to seek out some systems to believe in.
Do you find yourself more likely to seek out external support/guidance, in a way?
 

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MOTM February 2014
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Well, I'm still trying to figure out if I really am a 6. So I'm trying to figure out how type sixes work, basically.
But I actually think that 6w7's look for outside support while 6w5's are more likely to seek out some systems to believe in.
Do you find yourself more likely to seek out external support/guidance, in a way?
Oh! Okay, that's a little easier to answer.

You're right, at least from my perspective. I'm very likely to ask friends, family what they think about a situation. Mostly I just want their viewpoints, not their advice. I've yet to actually find a "organized" system to believe in... In a way, that makes me feel a bit odd, like I should believe in something but I can't force myself to. 6w7s are more people-oriented (if not extroverted), so it makes sense that a 6w5 would want a system to be more independent. Usually, systems of beliefs don't require many people to talk to, just a rulebook and maybe a leader/mentor.
 

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I'm very likely to ask friends, family what they think about a situation. Mostly I just want their viewpoints, not their advice.
Why is it you think you feel the need to ask them for their view-points and how do you use these for yourself?
 

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MOTM February 2014
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Why is it you think you feel the need to ask them for their view-points and how do you use these for yourself?
Because I don't always think of everything. I like having all the possible information to make the right decision. Usually I'll combine what they say and my own opinion and try to come up with the best solution. So... Fear of doing the wrong thing, I suppose? Not society's idea of wrong, of course, but more about the people involved and what it'll mean for the future.

I overthink things, too :crazy:
 

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Because I don't always think of everything. I like having all the possible information to make the right decision. Usually I'll combine what they say and my own opinion and try to come up with the best solution. So... Fear of doing the wrong thing, I suppose? Not society's idea of wrong, of course, but more about the people involved and what it'll mean for the future.
This is kinda what I'm looking for heh.
Can you elaborate on your idea of right/wrong or good/bad decisions and choices and their implications?
 

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MOTM February 2014
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This is kinda what I'm looking for heh.
Glad to help! Are you relating to any at all?

Can you elaborate on your idea of right/wrong or good/bad decisions and choices and their implications?
Hmm... Not in a lot of detail. It changes in every situation. What might be right or wrong at one time could be the opposite at another. I guess the right situation is what is in the best interests of myself or someone else and the wrong one isn't. The right decision would be what has the best outcome, even if it isn't short-term. I think of a lot of possibilities (and exceptions of those possibilities) for everything and imagine how it could go wrong (and on occassion, how it could go right!). One time I had to give someone "tough love" advice, which very well meant they could end up hating me or cutting me off but would ultimately pay off in the long run for them. It's sort of like trying to find the lesser of the evils.
 

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Oh! Okay, that's a little easier to answer.

You're right, at least from my perspective. I'm very likely to ask friends, family what they think about a situation. Mostly I just want their viewpoints, not their advice. I've yet to actually find a "organized" system to believe in... In a way, that makes me feel a bit odd, like I should believe in something but I can't force myself to. 6w7s are more people-oriented (if not extroverted), so it makes sense that a 6w5 would want a system to be more independent. Usually, systems of beliefs don't require many people to talk to, just a rulebook and maybe a leader/mentor.

I was just reading through some threads about enneagram type 6's and i saw that your signature says "head gut heart" and you have an enneagram type for each one.. Did you find that out on your own through studying and realization, or is there a website that has a test of some sort? I think it would be interesting to find out about myself!

I'm a 6w7 but that's all i know. :happy:

look forward to hearing back from you

Jill
 

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I was just reading through some threads about enneagram type 6's and i saw that your signature says "head gut heart" and you have an enneagram type for each one.. Did you find that out on your own through studying and realization, or is there a website that has a test of some sort? I think it would be interesting to find out about myself!

I'm a 6w7 but that's all i know. :happy:

look forward to hearing back from you

Jill
Hi, Jill! Welcome to the forums! How are you liking it so far?

The head, gut, and heart refers to the various triads. If you don't know about them, these are the threads to read:

Enneagram Triads

Enneagram: Typing, Tri-Theory, and Stereotypes

It took me a while to figure out my tri-type. The way I did it was by reading. One of the tests I did (I don't remember which, but I think the one by Eccletic Energies) gave me a starting point, which was 9w1. It was the type I related to a lot, yet I have more nervous energy than a 9. It was harder to find out my Heart type since I don't really relate to it nearly as much. I'd rather with it was 2w1, yet I have a hard time denying the habits of 4w5, especially when stressed.

So, basic answer: reading and self-discovery. It's the best way to discover your Enneagram types and stacking, all told. Tests are a high chance of being inaccurate. Definitely look into your tri-type! It leads to knowing more about yourself.
 
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