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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Sort of a "Shit People Say" in reverse.

A thread for phrases we struggle to say, including things we:
prefer not to say,
only rarely say,
would never say,
regret saying,
might say but might not necessarily mean.


Some of mine:

"Always."

"Never."

"I'll be there on time."

"I'll get right on that."

"I'd LOVE to stop reading this hilarious article to lend you my laptop so you can show me several pictures of your cat playing with a sock!"
 

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In a minute (that minute never comes)

Umm... sure (Immediately kicking myself for saying yes)

Shut up (just sounds like a little kid)

And "always" and "never", they're too concrete.
 

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No, I don't want to discuss your political-economic theory.
Soccer is gay.
I thoroughly enjoyed church today.
Wait, I don't see the relation between those two points.
 
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How did that make you feel?

Let's sleep on it

I'll never be able to.....

I feel horrible about myself

I'm such a failure

I love the religious moral code, and totally agree with the church that non-church people are completely immoral

"Always" and "Never"
(I have really, really had to work on not using these two terms, and the term "guaranteed".......I don't use them much anymore, but I think because of our confidence we as ENTPs want to use them a lot)
 

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I avoid people's names a lot (Who needs names when everyone answers to "hey"?)

"I forgive you"
"Oh, I get it. You're right, I'm wrong"
"I'm not smart"
"I like to keep my political and religious views a secret"
 

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"how are you" (regret)

"wonderful" (never)

"just fantastic" (regret)

"share" as in "I shared my dislike of asparagus with johnny" (never)

"Your opinion on that subject is definitely NOT fucking retarded and passed down from your parents, but on the other hand is thoroughly valid" (never)
 
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"should" I avoid using that word because in reality there is no shoulds and should nots there is only what is and what isn't

"you can't do X" when ever someone says that, default response is "but I just did"
 
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Oh My God

Like

I don't give head

regarding OMG, I do tend to say it, but it's an expression without thinking what it really stands for...I do not think literally OH MY GOD when I say it...I'm a Buddhist or whatever. I had an argument with my formerly atheist reborn Christian friend about this...if an atheist is in a dire situation, most would revert back into believing in god, lower cased the g in god on purpose :).

I stop trying to learn teenager slangs, but I think I should start again b/c I do want to become a teacher.
 

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"Like" really pisses me off. On public transport, a varied times I mentally count how many times the word "like" is used in someone else's conversation, and you just want to go stick their head out the window and grind it against the pavement.

I also agree with the above -- any sort of "cheerful" small talk, I absolutely hate. Not only is it unmeaningful, it's annoying being asked it again and again everyday and nothing gets accomplished.

I still remember a senior manager coming up to me one morning asking "how are you?" and I just grunted and replied in a low/angry/unhappy voice "shit" and his face completely went blank, and then walked off. Haha. He never asked me again. Other people asking me that and hearing the same reply actually go "well at least you're honest, infact I feel the same" lol.

But yeh, that's Britishism (is that a word?) for you.
 

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I avoid that useless corporate jargon employers often encourage employees to use, at all cost.I have one good example. While supervising at my previous job I was given the privilege of having this conversation.
Me:I have a problem
Boss:We don't have "problems" here anymore. We have "opportunities"
Me:That doesn't make any sense.You know that it doesn't.Now come up here and help me.
Boss:Why do you always have to do that?Stop questioning everything and just go along with it.
"silence"
Me:One of the cashiers you hired last week.Took the "opportunity" to walk out of the store today.
Boss:Yeah, what about it?
Me:with all the money from his register in his pocket.
Boss:(Dial tone)
 
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"Good lecturers always admit their insecurities about themselves to the audience." (If you think you suck, why should I bother to listen???)

"Always stick to the plan. Modifying it will only cause something we want to avoid."

"Women shouldn't understand and be interested in science, technology, research, playing strategy games, Ancient Aliens or Myth Busters."

"I'll always follow, obey, love and serve you. I have no other interests."
 

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"Good lecturers always admit their insecurities about themselves to the audience." (If you think you suck, why should I bother to listen???)
Admitting insecurities = thinking you suck?

What are you hiding? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
 
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