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After seeing posts in which people express sentiments of fear and disgust to posts about hugs I got to thinking...

What is your relationship with physical affection?
What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
What was your physical affection like as a child?
What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
- I add this thinking of how some people seem more present in their physicality, while others somewhat detached.

And any other thoughts you might have to the nature of your aversion or want of some types of physical affection from certain people.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
-It depends. Most of the time, I'm extremely reserved. I tell new friends of mine that I am not one for hugs, but after a while, I get to a point where I'm comfortable with physical touch. I rarely ever initiate hugs, but when I do, I always ask the other person if it's okay with them. I'm mostly all right with taps on the shoulder or head (even a gentle slap when I'm joking around with someone is good because I know the joking is mutual at that rate, but I don't do that myself). It all has to be warranted, though.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
-I'm willing to engage in physical affection that is an act of friendship and emotional closeness. I have no interest in any touch that can be seen as sexual at all (no kissing or anything).

What was your physical affection like as a child?
-I never liked touching people, especially when I was younger, though I did tolerate it more than I do now.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
-Touch is an effective source of communication, but there are often better ways of showing affection than by touching someone. Touch is often appropriate where words don't speak loud enough (often when showing gratitude or empathy), but I dislike people touching me when I don't deem the circumstances appropriate.

Nature of my reasons:
My (extended) family was always WAY too affectionate for my liking. I never did show resistance, but so much physical affection in the past has made me kind of like "Ugh... again?" now. Now I'm a little more resistant.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
I am alright with it but not too much, I just have a sort of mental block to it I take it. I'm not disgusted with it, just uncomfortable.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
My trust in the other person. I barely even hug my friends but they know how I work, I value them deeply but like I stated above- there is a kind of boundary I have here. Yet when it comes to more intimate things, that's a bit tough for me to answer.

What was your physical affection like as a child?
Playful stupid things like tickling but that's really about it. Even back then, hugs and hand-holding felt awkward.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
It's effective to establish a connection with someone when you want to breach the barrier of words but it's also a symbol of trust. You wouldn't let just anyone put their hand on your shoulder or give a peck on the cheek.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
Want it (...a lot) but unused to it. I tend to stiffen up, and my mind either goes blank or races around trying to figure out what to do ("where do my arms go" kind of thing), why I'm on the receiving end of this action, and how long is it going to last. I also think about how warm people are (usually with guys though).

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
I'm willing to experience any kind of physical affection in theory; my nervousness and what looks like adverse reaction arises largely from not knowing and feeling insecure about how to respond to it. But I think I adapt pretty quickly to repeated exposure (though I also tend to "forget" quite a bit if the exposure stops).

As for things like kissing, cuddling, and sex, I'd only willingly engage if the other person reassured me that they wouldn't judge me for being a total idiot in these activities. And would probably have to be okay with a...debriefing of sorts. :laughing: A lot of physical things are just more mental exercises for me; I don't instinctively know what to do, so I try to figure out the mechanics and see what brings the most comfort/pleasure.

What was your physical affection like as a child?
I obviously can't remember what it was like in my very early years, but my mom is generally not a very touchy-feely person; I got a hug (or spank xD) from her every now and then in my childhood. My dad is a little more contact-y (not hugs necessarily, just touch in general), but I've never really liked him so I've always viewed his touch as more invasive than affectionate. He was also not really a part of my life starting in early adolescence and up until about a year ago because of his job.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
- I add this thinking of how some people seem more present in their physicality, while others somewhat detached.
Um...I like sensory experience, so given that my body is my only source of sensory experience, I appreciate it. I tend to be very sensitive to visual and kinesthetic stimuli (and I think olfactory).

As for being more present versus more detached - I don't know, really. Again, I think I tend to be very sensitive to sensory stimuli, but I do have a tendency to miss things and just...pull away from it and seem totally out of it. Like I'm either highly aware of my sensory environment or minimally aware.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
Makes me uncomfortable.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
How well I know the person. I will tolerate it if I know them well.

What was your physical affection like as a child?
Mostly non-existent.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
When interacting with people? Important, just far from my preferred method of interaction.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
I only want to be touched by my partner and the family members I love and trust most.
What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
Physical touch makes me feel very awkward. It's very intimate.. I have always had a habit of tolerating a person touching me.. but I learned that some people will try to manipulate and control people with physical touch.

What was your physical affection like as a child?
The guys in my life were more huggy than the women in my life while I was growing up. I didn't "need" physical contact until I was an adult..

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
I'm definitely sensitive to the cold, but I'm not scared of pain or discomfort. Some people can't comprehend that I'm not the comfort seeking kind of person.. but I genuinely love living life on the edge and pushing my limits..
Umm.. I admit I like pain more than pleasure when it comes to intimacy.. I've played with BDSM for years, and that's the thing that got me interested in sex.
Hugs.. and cuddles.. I don't even know when I started becoming needy about hugs and stuff.. probably after my fiance hinted to me that he wanted me to do PDA with him..

Hmm..
I can't cuddle for long periods of time, though, no matter how hard I try.. so.. I might seem clingy, but when I actually start cuddling, I don't cuddle for long.
I can't sleep with animals on me and I can't do the sleep hug thing.. period. I want to.. I've tried. I feel bad.. Am I doing something wrong?
 

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Basically I get like no physical affection because people think I don't want it. (All my life)

But really I just am the type of person who thinks before I act. And because of how much I would enjoy physical affection, I need more time to think before acting. And people see no action and then judge that I don't want physical affection. And it would feel weird asking so I can't just ask for a hug or something.

In my childhood, my dad was the only person who touched me. He used to rub my belly while talking with me. I guess I associated intelligent conversation with physical touch. And I haven't really found anybody to have intelligent discussions with. Except my best friend, but he's internet only. And the type of intelligent he is is different than what I would relate physical touch with.

So I don't touch people, ever. And I hate when people touch me. But I dream of touching people while talking with them, and connecting our minds. So much of intelligence is about plugging into things, not the modern understanding of "teach and learn facts."

The Greeks publicly bathed, and they ruled through logic. There is a connection to the two I'm certain.

And so physical touch remains thoughts, as the world around me and the world I live in are two different things.
 
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What is your relationship with physical affection?

Don't get basically any. : / I... want some. Relating to in a romantic setting. Not just matters of sex - if I was with a lass, I'd probably be disgustingly cuddly.

Outside of romantic relationships, I'm usually pretty happy to not be touching people. I mean, there might be exceptions, but... just not into it. I suppose physical touch is, for me, something for lovers, and seems inappropriate otherwise (this isn't me judging other people for thinking/feeling differently, this is just how I tend to be... which is probably the WRONG way to be).

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?

Erm... relationship with the person. As stated, basically, romantic relationships, much more willing than non romantic. I'd probably be more fine with physical affection from women than from men, too. -_-; (no homophobe!)

What was your physical affection like as a child?

I don't recall strongly. I'm sure I got a bit... the odd hug and whatnot. But I don't recall all that much. My family's never been very touchy-feely. I don't even recall my parents hugging... I'm sure they HAVE at some point -_-; but, yeah.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?

Much better source of sensory experience than my coffee table.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?

As compared with what? I don't initiate hugs or anything, but I'm okay with it.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?

Strangers don't get to hug or touch me. I'll shake their hands. Female friends can hug me but I get tense when male friends hug me. It's not fair, they aren't doing anything wrong. I just feel defensive. I'm better with touch in intimate relationships.

What was your physical affection like as a child?

My parents weren't very affectionate but my ESTJ big sister was very physically affectionate. When she saw my parents arguing, she was always quick to pull me and my younger sister upstairs and hold us. She grew up way too fast. I think my mother tried to be physically affectionate but I think she expected me to be like my older sister. I'm not sure what she expected from me.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?

I'm not sure what you're asking here. My body is an extension of me. If something happens to my body, it happens to me. Good and bad.

I'm present. I think. I've never been drunk or taken my prescribed pain killers. I'm a little scared of not being complete control of my body. Drugs and alcohol or anything that would take me out of my present body sounds unnerving.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?

I like touch, I am a cuddly dude. I pat people on the back, punch shoulders, hug, shake hands, etc. frequently. I'm totally fine with it and I enjoy it, I find that positive energy can be spread through kind physical expression. I will be more apprehensive to be touchy around girls until things are romantic, at which point I will be the touchiest mo fluffa to walk the earth, lol.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?

I find that physical intimacy is something special that should only be experienced when there is a definite connection that is more than platonic. There has to be a mutual understanding and care, the physicality is an expression of affection and trust. Its not primarily just meant to be an enjoyable sensory experience for me, that is a factor, but it symbolizes so much more than that. This will keep me from random hookups and being super quick with affection around the girlies. But once the trust is there, its on like Donkey Kong, mwahaha!

What was your physical affection like as a child?

Hmmm.... I gots a hazy memory. I was cuddly with my mom and sister, I'm sure. I definitely was a bit shy around touching others, I recall clinging to my mom's leg when seeing her mutual friends or whatever. I dont really know, honestly. I understand that the purpose of this question was to see if there is a correlation between childhood physical affection and adulthood expression of it, but I can't accurately remember.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?

PFFF, dude, I'm a stranger in this body. I walk with an awkward confidence, legs and arms flopping and swaying about. I have no idea what to do with this bag of flesh my soul is inhabiting, lol. It makes exercise easy because I dont feel the pain much. but I suck at sports, dont enjoy food and its sensations all that much, and sexuality doesn't give me crazy intense pleasure or whatever. My best sense is sight, which is ironic because I have glasses, but I am observant and enjoy analyzing people visually via body language and the like. Once in a blue moon I will feel within my body and its cool and stuff, whatevs.
 
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I remember as a child, I received plenty of hugs and goodnight kisses on the cheek from my parents, so I believe I was an affectionate child. But I think things changed when I hit 13. That very year, my parents broke up. Ever since then, now reflecting back, I felt so weird when others showed affection toward me. Like, I'm not sure how to respond to it. It's not that I don't like it per se, but it feels a little overwhelming when it happens. I actually love hugs and the warm embrace of holding someone's hand, which isn't something I experience often from other people. In hindsight, perhaps my mind subconsciously questions if I deserved some form affection, and I hate it. Or also may be a combination of feeling as though that in one moment, that very person showing physical affection towards you, can also one day not anymore and show resentment instead, as I visually saw between my parents as well as with a person I once considered a best friend at one point. It's silly trauma, I know, and I'm trying to overcome these barriers.

If I envision an intimate relationship though, the thought of cuddles and hand holding can really make me melt.

So yeah, I have more open thoughts towards physical affection, but I'm also trying to simply enjoy it without clouded thoughts.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?
Weird
I am generally known as a very selective with giving or receiving affection ...But that said, when I hug I really hug, when I kiss I really kiss, when I love I really love. So I do not give affection in high does. Quality not quantity. I give my kids hugs regularly. But I can be more distant then most average people, but I am not a no hugging or expression of love household (not at all), but yeah not cuddling 24/7 either.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?
Genuine ones!

What was your physical affection like as a child?
Distant I guess. I was sexually abused, also my parents always said I never needed affection like my sisters and so they did not give hugs to me as much. They said I would get edgy and irritable. I don't remember getting hugs that much tho but I was not like never ever hugged.


What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?
I think I am liberal with it to some degree sexually in regards to expression. But intimately like hugs and cuddles I am much more guarded emotionally.

- I add this thinking of how some people seem more present in their physicality, while others somewhat detached.
I don't know I think I relate to both over all I am known as not a hugger or hugely affectionate, but like I said people know when I give affection I give affection deeply.

My old coworkers gave me a card when I left with a bear sticking the arms out because they know how much I love to hug (lol)

I do not think that its so much that I do not like to hug I think its because I don't throw hugs and kisses out casually people mistake me as not being affectionate, I am so much so I do not believe in using it as a form of niceties.
 

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What is your relationship with physical affection?

I despise it. My Asperger's makes it nearly unbearable if done incorrectly due to various sensory sensitivities particularly tactile and olfactory ones.

What factors into the sorts of physical affection you're willing to experience?

My physical comfort level includes what I'm wearing and what happened that day. The other person's clothing is a major factor as well as their ability to do what I want. I know it sounds selfish, but if you want to touch me, there are certain procedures that, unfortunately, require following. I didn't make the rules, I just play by them. The following against my skin are, absolutely, out of the question: denim, wool, certain forms of cotton, nylon, and polyester. Absolutely no light touching. It will result in random and possibly painful flagellations from my limbs. Firm touching only. You have to smell the right way. The smell of body odor makes me vomit as do certain fragrances. Both of our hair must be pulled back and secured if it's long. I can't wear long sleeves, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Maybe it's easier if no one touches me. :sad:

What was your physical affection like as a child?

My parent's hugged me a lot but I pushed them away but I didn't know why at the time.

What is your attitude towards your body as a source of sensory experience?

It's hard to deal with. Everyday life is an onslaught of extreme sensory stimulation. It severely impacts my existence.
 

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This is a very difficult subject for me, so I'll answer briefly (for a change) that a sincere hug is on top of my list of wants and desires, but I usually shy away from people who don't know me intimately in getting too close into my 'personal zone', regardless.

My greatest worry is that I'll get one of these hugs someday, and I'll fall into a crying spell into their shoulder for an hour, only because it has eluded me for so very long.
Most people aren't ready for a sudden, "Wow. Where did all this come from?". :shocked:
 
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