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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm currently planning a move to university with my INFP boyfriend. The ease with which he procrastinates drives me crazy sometimes! :bored: How do you guys deal with having to plan big things with P types?
 

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xD lol

I don't think I can answer this very helpfully.

With my INTP:

1. I plan most everything, which is fine because I like to plan things
2. My INTP likes to help, not the planning part, but the executing the plan part... as long as I ask her to do something for me in the moment that I want her to do it, she's happy or at least willing to do it (not "will you do this for me later" , she'll forget usually lol).

Yep. I think that's about it :) I am 100% confident that my P does not procrastinate or forget out of any lack of desire to help or any intentional maliciousness. If you think that's true of your INFP, just keep that in mind and have some patience. Sometimes you do have to deal with a little bit of unreliability.
 

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I'm currently planning a move to university with my INFP boyfriend. The ease with which he procrastinates drives me crazy sometimes! :bored: How do you guys deal with having to plan big things with P types?
I've not been able to figure this out with my INFP wife. I've tried two approaches and don't like either one:

1. Do all the planning myself - stresses me out and doesn't fit with her sense of "flow"

2. Have her plan some of the significant pieces at least - but when she's the planner, cascades of things inevitably go wrong due to lack of what I consider basic planning skills, and then I end up getting sucked into a state of stress and being rushed that really isn't good for me.

We've moved way too many times in our relatively short marriage and it's been bad each time.

All I can say is - take care of yourself! And sorry that I have no solutions.
 

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I generally allow them to make the plans, and I simply go along for the ride. If it is something that absolutely must be done within certain time constraints, I try to accomplish it and tell them not to worry about helping, or I do it on the sly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Even if there are no solutions, it's nice to know that some other J's can identify with my situation :tongue:

I am 100% confident that my P does not procrastinate or forget out of any lack of desire to help or any intentional maliciousness.
I am definitely aware that he's not being deliberately difficult or anything. It's his way of dealing with things, just like mine is to plan. It just seems to inefficient to me... but thanks for reminding me to keep this in mind.

I've not been able to figure this out with my INFP wife. I've tried two approaches and don't like either one:

1. Do all the planning myself - stresses me out and doesn't fit with her sense of "flow"

2. Have her plan some of the significant pieces at least - but when she's the planner, cascades of things inevitably go wrong due to lack of what I consider basic planning skills, and then I end up getting sucked into a state of stress and being rushed that really isn't good for me.

We've moved way too many times in our relatively short marriage and it's been bad each time.

All I can say is - take care of yourself! And sorry that I have no solutions.
Yeah, I'm not thrilled with either option, either. I'm finding that I prefer the former in our circumstance, but it's still hard because he hasn't got his budget etc sorted out for me to take into account in my planning!

Love my INFP to death, but man he's difficult sometimes :frustrating:
 
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