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Discussion Starter #1
Okay, now I've fallen into the "Does this ENFP like me or are they just being an ENFP?" trap. So maybe I'm beginning to understand why they call us flirts.

There must be something about the way we treat those who matter to us that makes them feel so special.

So my best mate is an ENFP. It's so great having a male friend who knows how to be affectionate and caring. Someone who I can open up to without judgement.

Sometimes-- and yes, this happens more than once-- he gets drunk and either I'm present or he'll message me the most gushy things about how he loves me, my presence in his life brightens up his world. Or I'll get drunk and say something absolutely miserable and self deprecating and he'll rush me with compliments abbot how amazing I am. It's all pretty beautiful really but is it crossing boundaries? Hah, I'm not really stressing about it, I'm mostly just struggling to adjust to the idea that friends can be that close? He's got a loving girlfriend, they are still in that head over heels stage. But I mean, I wonder if I was single whether he'd even...? Yeah, anyway... Stop with the "what if" parallel timelines brain.

Do you have any platonic love confessions?
 

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I can be quite mushy with my friends but really, it depends on the dynamic we have. I have friends where saying something like “I love you” is SO uncomfortable because our relationship is based purely on taking the piss out of each other so we can’t take it seriously :laughing: Having said that, if you read the text conversations between me and my best mate, it would seem like we’re lovers lol. She’s always been the more ‘affectionate one’ but over the years, I’d say we’re pretty much on par now. It’s really cute though because she’ll always want to cuddle with me and hold hands and she’s even said she would kiss me if I was okay with it (she doesn't think kissing is that big of a deal). THE THING IS THOUGH, a lot of my other friends act the same way.

I’ll have moments where I just want to tell the other person how much I love and care about them and that I miss them so much, but it’s always platonic. I suppose it’s just a matter of establishing boundaries and making sure you and your friends are on the same page!
 

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But I mean, I wonder if I was single whether he'd even...? Yeah, anyway... Stop with the "what if" parallel timelines brain.
Hmmm, are you sure it's just platonic? :popcorn: :tongue:
 

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My best guy friend is an isfp- we share drinks- sleep in the same room- I'll freely grab him and pull him and tell him to buy me snacks- we go out fine dining together and often compliment each other looks ( he's very beautiful - pretty boy , girls would try to be friends with me to get close to him).
Neither of us have ever been attracted to each other - it's strictly platonic - we also have a tendency to get very close with each other's partner ( think I'm still heart broken over his esfp ex leaving him ) he's really close with my husband ( and exes- but he drop the friendship the moment I break up with an ex which I find odd)

My Entp bff and I are each other's permanent Valentine's and she's very verbal with how much she loves me and vice versa. When she hears that I'm sad- she would send me a heart felt letter or FaceTime me ( she's a traveling doctor) . We often joke that my husband is the third wheel or concubine when we hang

My favorite guy friend (Entp ) and I get very excited when we see each other and are glue to the hips. I'm comfortable being touchy with him ( grab arms, hug, lean onto his shoulders) . We say stuff like I miss you ! I love you! Neither of us are attracted to each other

Nobody has ever confused me for leading them on - but outsider tends to view that I'm flirtatious.

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Discussion Starter #5
Hmmm, are you sure it's just platonic? :popcorn: :tongue:
I don't like him that way. I've assessed this and the more I think about the relationship ever being sexual it weirds me out. I'm just adjusting to this affection, getting to grips with what that means. I mean I've got zero reason to assume there's anything else to his love but it's where my mind leads y'know? I need to remember not everyone is gay for me ;) (but you, of course you are, my tease)
 

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I don't like him that way. I've assessed this and the more I think about the relationship ever being sexual it weirds me out. I'm just adjusting to this affection, getting to grips with what that means. I mean I've got zero reason to assume there's anything else to his love but it's where my mind leads y'know? I need to remember not everyone is gay for me ;) (but you, of course you are, my tease)
I know, I was merely exploiting your what if disposition.

And I'm offended that you think I can't be generally gay, LMAO.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I can be quite mushy with my friends but really, it depends on the dynamic we have. I have friends where saying something like “I love you” is SO uncomfortable because our relationship is based purely on taking the piss out of each other so we can’t take it seriously :laughing:
They are truly masochists. The more you abuse them the more they love you. That's beauty right there.

Y'know it's actually kind of weird but I feel like this is a cultural dynamic. I used to have mates like this where you abuse and tease your closest friends and I lost that when I went abroad. It wasn't until I met some more Brits and Irish that we just naturally fell into a rhythm like that. It's refreshing.

Having said that, if you read the text conversations between me and my best mate, it would seem like we’re lovers lol. She’s always been the more ‘affectionate one’ but over the years, I’d say we’re pretty much on par now. It’s really cute though because she’ll always want to cuddle with me and hold hands and she’s even said she would kiss me if I was okay with it (she doesn't think kissing is that big of a deal). THE THING IS THOUGH, a lot of my other friends act the same way.
That's cute but at what point does a make out session become too sexual for just friends? Is said friend bi/lesbian?

I’ll have moments where I just want to tell the other person how much I love and care about them and that I miss them so much, but it’s always platonic. I suppose it’s just a matter of establishing boundaries and making sure you and your friends are on the same page!
I mean I guess it's all about that in the end!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I know, I was merely exploiting your what if disposition.

And I'm offended that you think I can't be generally gay, LMAO.
Shhhh, no more words, my sweet. Let me keep this fantasy. You only feel that way because I opened you up to a whole new world of possibility.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
My best guy friend is an isfp- we share drinks- sleep in the same room- I'll freely grab him and pull him and tell him to buy me snacks- we go out fine dining together and often compliment each other looks ( he's very beautiful - pretty boy , girls would try to be friends with me to get close to him).
Neither of us have ever been attracted to each other - it's strictly platonic - we also have a tendency to get very close with each other's partner ( think I'm still heart broken over his esfp ex leaving him ) he's really close with my husband ( and exes- but he drop the friendship the moment I break up with an ex which I find odd)

My Entp bff and I are each other's permanent Valentine's and she's very verbal with how much she loves me and vice versa. When she hears that I'm sad- she would send me a heart felt letter or FaceTime me ( she's a traveling doctor) . We often joke that my husband is the third wheel or concubine when we hang

My favorite guy friend (Entp ) and I get very excited when we see each other and are glue to the hips. I'm comfortable being touchy with him ( grab arms, hug, lean onto his shoulders) . We say stuff like I miss you ! I love you! Neither of us are attracted to each other

Nobody has ever confused me for leading them on - but outsider tends to view that I'm flirtatious.

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It's really beautiful how you have so many close relationships like this. Although my ENFP bff doesn't like my partner... He openly admitted that... But I adore his partner but she's like a mouse, too much energy and attention and you'll scare her away... Took me a while to learn how to adjust to such an introvert so that I can get to know her.

Nice that your husband is cool with you being whisked away by your bff for a moment on Valentine's.
 

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Nice that your husband is cool with you being whisked away by your bff for a moment on Valentine's.
You beat me to it!

@ai.tran.75

Your husband is a very special man. Not many men would be able to keep themselves from feeling very insecure about such a thing.
 

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Hehehe sounds like my ENTJ bff. She will put her bum on me drunk or flash me. Then she will tell me she loves me so much hahaha and she's a lesbian. But it's just her being silly and comfortable around me. I imagine your friend is much the same :)
In my early HS years me and my ENFP bff have fondled each other (we were both single). We have zero feelings for each other in that way but we were both late bloomers in liking dudes so we were like 'could we like girls?' But nope turns out we both like confusing xNTJ males :p
 

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You beat me to it!

@ai.tran.75

Your husband is a very special man. Not many men would be able to keep themselves from feeling very insecure about such a thing.
I think both him and I are quite confident in our relationship with one another . He has girl friends with whom he travels with - or spent the night over at her place, I couldn't care less . It would be awkward if he doesn't allow me to act naturally with my friends.

Anyhow with my Entp bff she's a straight girl - so her calling my istp the concubine is quite funny and he roll along with it for humor

My isfp best guy friend is like a brother to me- our relationship is sibling like - hence we try to get to know and welcome each other's partner. My husband is also extremely close friends with my isfp bff


I wouldn't be with a guy who gets insecure about me hanging out with other men



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It's really beautiful how you have so many close relationships like this. Although my ENFP bff doesn't like my partner... He openly admitted that... But I adore his partner but she's like a mouse, too much energy and attention and you'll scare her away... Took me a while to learn how to adjust to such an introvert so that I can get to know her.

Nice that your husband is cool with you being whisked away by your bff for a moment on Valentine's.
Thanks! Yeah he's great ( his bday is the day before Valentine's and I tend to pamper him) and on Valentine's night we still snack on hot cocoa and exchange gifts .
My husband wasn't close with my best guy friend until 4 years into the relationship ( they were just friendly acquaintances before then , my bff lived with me back in college )
My istp best gal pals( there are 2 of em) used to hate my guts - now I'm really close with one of them and I get along fine with the other chick as well:) It's kinda hard to hate me after conversing with me for more than 5 minutes

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They are truly masochists. The more you abuse them the more they love you. That's beauty right there.

Y'know it's actually kind of weird but I feel like this is a cultural dynamic. I used to have mates like this where you abuse and tease your closest friends and I lost that when I went abroad. It wasn't until I met some more Brits and Irish that we just naturally fell into a rhythm like that. It's refreshing.
Right? Like it’s nice opening up and having deep conversations here and there but sometimes I don’t wanna do that! Just want full on b a n t e r with my pals.

That's cute but at what point does a make out session become too sexual for just friends? Is said friend bi/lesbian?
Again, it really depends on what you’re okay with. I personally think kissing is a bit much lmao but like I said, she’s not the only one who disagrees with me. I have het friends who do the same shit and it’s nothing major in their view. It can be a bit confusing at times, especially when you’re trying to figure out whether your crush is gay or nah but I guess that’s just straight culture for you.

My friend is bisexual and she’s always been comfortable with how she expresses herself and honestly, it’s just her way of showing love and appreciation. She never pushes it though, I’ve never once felt uncomfortable.
 

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I have extremely close platonic friendships where we share seriously deep emotional connection.

I have these two ESFJ girlfriends of mine who I've mentioned before are like sisters to me. Abbey and Susanna. They are my dearest friends. Susanna and I joke around that we're engaged, even after I've gotten married haha. We frequently hold hands and are generally touchy-feel-y with one another, hugging each other for a long time. We both consider ourselves Christian and pray with and for each other, liking to call each other spiritual sisters. Just highly invested in each others' lives. Same with Abbey - oh my goodness, I love both of them so much. You'd think Abbey and I are lovers perhaps if you looked at our text conversations. We are always telling each other, "I love you. I miss you." I'll drive out an hour 30 minutes just to spend even a little time with her. We're also fairly touchy-feel-y. She works at a hospital and sometimes when she sees too much hurt and suffering, she'll break down and I'll see her. She'll cry on my shoulder, I'll stroke her hair, we'll pray with each other over tea. Sometimes I'm the one struggling and she will pray for me, be there for me.

My husband is also close with both of them and understands just how important they are in my life.

I'm very close to my husband's closest bros - an ESTP and ISFJ. The ESTP is my horror-movie watching companion, seeing as my husband doesn't like to watch them but I want to go see them not alone with someone. We get along extremely well and have started forming a unique relationship due to how close we both are with my husband. Said ISFJ and I also are close... I love him. He's got a great sense of humor, and he wants to be an actor and is very good at it. He's got a deep serious side. I love the relationship my INTP husband has with both of his friends. He and his ESTP friend both have fun doing ridiculous things together or thinking through intense stuff... but also will take the time to reflect on how meaningful the relationship they have is. He and his ISFJ friend pretty much never have small talk. You know, sometimes they'd just meet to drink coffee and reflect on deep stuff in the other person's life.

Honestly, the whole group of friends that we are is just very close. We all know each other and like to take the chance to meet with each other when we can. When all of us get together, it feels golden. I have complete confidence in these friends of mine, and I have so much hope for each one of them. I love to talk about how much I love them.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I love hearing all these stories. I'm happy this thread became so heartwarming.

All you girls talking about getting touchy feely whilst I'm just here in shock like "he said nice things about me!" I mean we hug if the situation calls for it... Nothing much more than that.

I used to have female friends who would cuddle or hold hands with me when I was a teen but back then I couldn't help but think sexual things about them so that didn't help... I met up with one of those friends recently and she went right back into that habit. After being surrounded by mostly guys I was kind of starved of physical contact from anyone who isn't my partner... I don't know how to relax with PDA anymore. It was a little surreal but comforting to know she's still that comfortable with me.
 

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My best guy friend is an isfp- we share drinks- sleep in the same room- I'll freely grab him and pull him and tell him to buy me snacks- we go out fine dining together and often compliment each other looks ( he's very beautiful - pretty boy , girls would try to be friends with me to get close to him).
Neither of us have ever been attracted to each other - it's strictly platonic - we also have a tendency to get very close with each other's partner ( think I'm still heart broken over his esfp ex leaving him ) he's really close with my husband ( and exes- but he drop the friendship the moment I break up with an ex which I find odd)

My Entp bff and I are each other's permanent Valentine's and she's very verbal with how much she loves me and vice versa. When she hears that I'm sad- she would send me a heart felt letter or FaceTime me ( she's a traveling doctor) . We often joke that my husband is the third wheel or concubine when we hang

My favorite guy friend (Entp ) and I get very excited when we see each other and are glue to the hips. I'm comfortable being touchy with him ( grab arms, hug, lean onto his shoulders) . We say stuff like I miss you ! I love you! Neither of us are attracted to each other

Nobody has ever confused me for leading them on - but outsider tends to view that I'm flirtatious.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
That surely seems quite special!

This sounds a lot like me and my best ENFP female friend. Even though she is not as stable in her own relationships herself, me and her have always been very close, yet never crossed any permanent lines. When I met her I was still with my ex, when I was single she had a new bf etc. We went into the friendzone deeply.
Sometimes I feel like she treats me differently, like a special connection she wants to cherish at all costs. Seeing how she is, i'm probably her only male friend she hasn't slept with and I always found that amusing in a way. We share our deepest secrets and insecurities, we sleepover in the same spaces, we are our number one crisis responder when our life takes a deep hit.

Oftentimes she has confided in me that how she is afraid ending up alone as she can't seem to keep her romantic relationships standing. Or she would propose for us to live together or she would go and live alone, as she somehow doesn't want to move in with her current bf. She would never suggest or make any moves on us becoming a thing, nor do I do that to her. We were simply never interested in each other that way, despite the fact that I think she is the most sweetest and genuinely caring person, on top of being very attractive. We just have different views and interests on relationships, and if we would really want to talk about that, I used to be a lot more openly judgemental towards her about her ways anyway, so we clearly knew we wouldn't ever be a thing.

Often I would ask her whether her bf's weren't uncomfortable with me hanging with her or being so emotionally close, as I would also go abroad to visit her for a weekend or a week or so, to the point were her parents even started to take a great liking in me. I was always around and always helping out etc. She always reassured me there were no issues. I never knew for sure whether she was just good at reassuring her bf's, or whether or not her bf's just didn't view me as a threat when they met me first time lmfao.
 

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One of my best friends is really affectionate. We were roomates she would kiss my cheek just for the heck of it. But never that far. I like to hug my loved ones in general. Also helps that we are all Hispanic so the love is strong lol!
 
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