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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it an INFP thing to hate the phone?

Unless I am talking to an old friend I am reconnecting with/a lover/making brief plans/being informed I have legitimately inherited money, I despise talking on the phone.

I have spent years trying to puzzle out why this is. One primary reason is that I am unable to terminate conversations successfully. Anyone else have this problem. Specifically INFP's? I am clear that I need to go. I can say that I need to use the washroom, am about to vomit, the stove is on fire etcetera and the other person will keep talking.

Unless I physically hang up the conversation continues. The INFP in me hates the prospect of this and just avoids calls. I also do not like avoiding people when calls are necessary (yes texts are wonderful). I sometimes give people a time limit at the beginning of the call. Any other suggestions?

Thanks for listening!
 

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I hate the telephone. When it rings it feels so insistent... like ANSWER ME NOW!!!

And then when I answer it, it's always somebody who wants me to do something NOW!!!...

Its's very hard to say no and it's even harder to extricate myself from a phone call. Not crazy about texting either. You'll get more action from me with an email.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I hate the telephone. When it rings it feels so insistent... like ANSWER ME NOW!!!

And then when I answer it, it's always somebody who wants me to do something NOW!!!...

Its's very hard to say no and it's even harder to extricate myself from a phone call. Not crazy about texting either. You'll get more action from me with an email.
Yes! Exactly another reason why I feel this way. When you take time to process things, the phone allows no time to think when someone places demands upon you.

I hear ya @telepariah :)
 

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I also have an extreme dislike of talking on the phone. For one, I feel like my time is being sort of intruded upon. If I was in the mood to talk to people, I would be in their presence. The very fact that they are calling me implies they are not within range of physically talking to me and thus I am likely doing something that does not involve talking to them. I also feel kind of bad for thinking that way, though, as though I don't value talking to the people who are taking the time to call me. I really do. It's just the introvert in me that has that subconscious reaction to someone calling me on the phone.

I also have a hard time concentrating on a conversation when I'm not talking to them in person. I get distracted by all kinds of things that are going on in my immediate vicinity and can lose track of the conversation. I prefer text messaging, or if it's work related, e-mails.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I also have an extreme dislike of talking on the phone. For one, I feel like my time is being sort of intruded upon. If I was in the mood to talk to people, I would be in their presence. The very fact that they are calling me implies they are not within range of physically talking to me and thus I am likely doing something that does not involve talking to them. I also feel kind of bad for thinking that way, though, as though I don't value talking to the people who are taking the time to call me.

I also have a hard time concentrating on a conversation when I'm not talking to them in person. I get distracted by all kinds of things that are going on in my immediate vicinity and can lose track of the conversation. I prefer text messaging, or if it's work related, e-mails.
Yes! I understand this also. I much prefer to take the time to actually be present with someone. I especially need to look into their eyes and it helps to see body language as well. Yet, I also feel badly for feeling resentful that the phone call is intruding on me in a way I did not desire when the person does. Gah.

Thank you so much for helping me know others feel these things also!
 

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I hate talking on the phone. Especially when it comes to work or family members that I rarely talk to. For work, why can't you just email me? For family members, I never know what to say or how to keep a conversation going. It feels so awkward and forced.

I don't really like texting either, but at least I can do it quickly and not feel uncomfortable the entire time.

I didn't mind talking on the phone as a teenager - I actually loved it. Now it's just annoying, lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I hate talking on the phone. Especially when it comes to work or family members that I rarely talk to. For work, why can't you just email me? For family members, I never know what to say or how to keep a conversation going. It feels so awkward and forced.

I don't really like texting either, but at least I can do it quickly and not feel uncomfortable the entire time.

I didn't mind talking on the phone as a teenager - I actually loved it. Now it's just annoying, lol.
I also loved talking on the phone as a teen. I find this very puzzling!??!

I say texting is wonderful but I only mean in comparison to the phone. Because, it does frustratingly lead to many miscommunications. I often don't "get" in texts when someone is kidding or I wonder if they are irritated. The only way I can discern tone is if they use many emoticons.
 

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I don't think that I dislike the phone as a medium for communication. I do, however, dislike certain foci and topics of conversation. I do feel strongly about certain assumptions when it comes to conversation. When it comes to the phone, here are few of the underlying intentions and assumptions that others may have that I don't like:
  • that it is proper and acceptable to try to convince me to purchase something
  • improper/inflated sense of urgency (I want to talk to you now; therefore, I need to talk to you now, and you had better be available.)
  • that asking me for a donation on the phone will make the cause more worthy and my ability/willingness to share more likely; and that use of potentially inflating my sense of guilt is appropriate
  • that the most appropriate manner to reach people for conducting surveys is by telephone
  • that the depth and importance of a political candidates ideology and platform can be adequately communicated and fairly juxtaposed against opponents within the span of a couple of minutes on the phone

I used to like talking on the phone when I was younger more than now probably because the calls I used to receive were more from people important to me wanting to connect with me. I could ramble for over an hour with friends. Now I don't pick up the phone if I don't know the caller.

And, no, nobody needs to be able to reach me 24/7/365. I don't own a cell phone and have no plans to change that.
 
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I often don't "get" in texts when someone is kidding or I wonder if they are irritated. The only way I can discern tone is if they use many emoticons.
Yeah me too, its like you're blind and feeling your way through a room filled with expensive china :D <-- (just incase you thought i was angry)


I think i heard/read somewhere that INFPs struggle with telephone calls due to the lack of stimulation or something, so they need something else to focus on aswell. With me this means if I'm on the phone I walk around I seriously cannot stay still while talking on the phone. I'm not sure what function that corresponds with or if it's just because we're percievers idk
 

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Talking to a stranger on the phone is simply terrifying.

It's just a voice. A disembodied voice.
 

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I have a slight phobia of the phone - in that when I hear it ring I have a jolt of dread for no reason that I can figure out, and I have what feels like a slight mental block against actually dialing someone up, I have to push myself often even when I anticipate the call being good.

But aside from the irrational part of my dislike for them I agree with you it can be hard to get off and I think the reason is that they aren't able to get the physical body-lanuague and facial expression cues that I'm ready to end it. Some people really don't seem to listen well, so like you said they don't seem to notice when you tell them you have to go, but in real life when you can slightly turn away or take a couple steps back or stand up in a businesslike manner etc. then people may get a clue even if they weren't listening.

I also dislike phones because I hate the aimless fidgiting people tend to do when on the phone (including myself, ug). I hate wandering around messing with this and that because my eyes have got nothing to occupy them since I can't look at the person. It's just awkward and makes me more easily distractible and makes me feel bored with the conversation sooner. It feels like more of a waste of time than a face-to-face conversation because here I am doing pointless filddly things like straightening all the pens on the desk, or inspecting the threads coming off the pillow I'm sitting next to or pushing a quarter around on the coffeetable.... it's so pointless and irritating

I hate talking on the phone when other people are nearby because I feel like it's probably just annoying and distracting to them, and it can also feel like they're listening in on my half of the conversation which can be awkward when they don't have context for whatever I'm saying and such.

Personally I usually end up with a headache because it's like.... my face/head-muscles just seem to tighten up on the side where I'm holding the phone to my ear. Speaker phone can help with this but a lot of times the sound quality of speakerphone is bad, or it'll seem to cut in and out and they actually can't hear you while they are talking.

On top of all that, I just feel like I communicate better in writing anyways most of the time, so talking with someone is often less preferable in any form than sending them an email, instant messaging, or texting. I feel like I articulate my thoughts better, and actually manage to get a word in more often when I'm typing as opposed to listening and trying to answer on the spot or find a moment to interrupt someone.

Like you I want to just take care of business and get off. I don't like just chatting on the phone. If I do agree to actually talk with someone on the phone it's a huge sign of how much I love them.
 

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If I had to choose between a phone conversation and a face-to-face conversation, face-to-face wins by default in my case. For one, phone calls makes me feel anxious because I feel like it's a rushed thing but the other person doesn't seem to comprehend that. I need to get such and such thing done, check this and that, this person needs me, etc, and meanwhile, I have to hold this electronic sound-thingy to my ear and try my hardest to hear a muffled in and out fluctuating voice; it's so draining! Not to mention, I hate the feeling of coming across as rude when I ask over and over, "Sorry, could you repeat that, I didn't hear that?" and the other person becomes frustrated and their tone is sharp. Then, those gosh darn awkward silences. It can be an issue in a face-to-face meetup, but at least you use outside things to spark conversation again since the other person sees, smells, and hears pretty much you are too. Over the phone? It's two boats passing by each other. I have no idea what you're looking at or what you're doing at the exact moment in time, and neither does the other person!

So um, I forgot to mention that I work at a restaurant and I frequently am required to answer the phone and take to-go orders. The varied phone reception is frustrating. I want to do my best to hear what you're saying, I really do! But then I hear you getting angry that I can't understand and then that hang up sound hums in... it's the worst. Some people get really, really pissed off if I ask politely to repeat a certain order. I'm just trying to make sure you get your money's worth sir or madam!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
@Aelthwyn I must have bought a ticket to your train of thought :) Agreed on everything! Interesting re: speakerphone. I knew I preferred it but you shed light on why.
@Verity3 I too get a kick out of friends and family who are absolutely horrified at the thought of letting calls go unanswered :D
@Shoryu Thank you for the perspective. I will think of the person on the OTHER end of the line the next time I call to place a take-out order.
 

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@Shoryu Thank you for the perspective. I will think of the person on the OTHER end of the line the next time I call to place a take-out order.
I hope I didn't sound too patronizing, as I can definitely understand why the other person on the other end is becoming frustrated. I tend to have this feeling of wanting to really help this person get their order down, but then feel bad when the other person has to put up with my request of clarity. It's like the phone reception signal is a personified person that is putting a wedge between you and the other person from having good terms.

I might be looking too deep into this, but basically, I don't blame anyone for being annoyed when such calls happen as they do. ^^
 

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for me..... yes i can hate the phone sometimes.

but tbh i don't think it's really "just the phone" i just procrastinate all the time and phone is one of the things i don't like doing
 

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I absolutely hate speaking on the phone, unless it's with my mom.

I avoid it to the best of my abilities, and will often let it ring, especially if I feel unprepared, taken off guard or don't no the number. I have to really, really pull myself together to take it, and more so to ring someone! I'll procrastinate forever and hope the problem just vanishes into thin air *lalalalalalala*. Also, my phone has a uncanny ability for disappearing or accidentally dying all the time *oops*

I'm so happy it increasingly becomes easier to do a lot of stuff through the internet! And that you can get quite far with e-mails these days... however, there's still way too many situations that still require the use of phones, and everywhere people are just like "Just call!" Righteo, no, sorry, I don't think I will. This is still a huge, awful problem :(

I can have a hard enough time speaking with people in person, so it definitely doesn't further my chances if they are just a faceless voice, it becomes nigh on hopeless to read people without being able to see their body-language - and strangely enough it doesn't help me that they will also have a harder time reading me, and can't see me blushing and whatnot. I'm way too self-conscious to use that's an advantage in such a highly unwanted situation.
 

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I love talking on the phone... if I'm calling a close family member.

In general I have anxiety with regards to the phone, but it's exasperated by a childhood memory. I wanted to call a friend to ask her something but I was terrified I was going to say the wrong thing. I called, but instead of my friend's voice I heard the voice of an older gentleman, I presume her dad. I was so startled, but also so confused. He kind of sounded like my dad. So I asked, "Daddy?" And the man on the other end said in a very irritated voice, "This isn't your father." I stuttered, "No, wait, I--" but he hung up on me. Ugh, I feel horrible just reliving that moment.

Whenever the phone rings, I have to fight the dread of "Oh god, who is it, what do they want?" If I'm in a good mood and a family member calls then I will chat for quite a while. If I have to call to get something sorted out, like making a doctor's appointment or getting a service changed over, I'll put it off and it takes me quite a while to psych myself into making the call. Once I'm on the phone I try to be overly pleasant and warm, and usually it is met with equal pleasantness and warmth so eventually I'm ok. But to get over the hurdle of making the call in the first place is quite the process.

I'm one of the rare people that prefers having to navigate through the phone menu options. "Press 1 for x, press 2 for y..." If I can get everything done without talking to a human, I'm a happy camper. I'll also see if there's an online chat for customer service first before calling. It takes a little longer, but I'm a very quick typist and I find it easier to gather my thoughts and type them out rather than having to respond right away with verbal words.
 
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