Personality Cafe banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
669 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Out of respect for myself and the other a lot of details will left to be vague.


This was the last time I would see this ISFP person (possibly forever) and the mood was somber but loving. The finality of the moment brought about a tender emotional presence that was almost like hugging (without physically doing so.)

This ISFP has been a major influence to me in my life, recently, and, in the recent past, I have expressed my romantic feelings towards her by asking her out. She declined, as expected, because it literally would not be possible for us to date.

Going back to our moment, I felt very emotionally present to her and divulged to her, finally, how my father died after hinting at it for a long time. I felt so emotionally close to her I wanted to tell her, and knowing that this might be the last time I would see her made me feel very sad.

Furthermore, I have been developing the idea of transcendent Beauty in my life, that last year discussing it much with her, and have been able to share with her how Beauty has changed my life (I've traveled to mountains, seen it in the eyes of my loved ones, poetry, music.) Finally, I told her how beautiful she is to me, and how that beauty inspires me to be a better person. I told her that her Beauty is radiant from within and it has made me want to change my life and that all she had to do, this whole time, was be her. I also exclaimed how I see Beauty in her eyes, as well, when they sparkle. I think this person has, underneath, been to Beauty driving this emotional change in myself.

We listened to music that I brought, that I felt was sitting on my heart.

She cried, and I still do not know why. When leaving she rubbed/caressed my back and it felt special. It didn’t feel like a normal pat goodbye, as, if a man or, even, another woman rubbed me that way I would feel intensely creeped out. It felt tender, like how a lover would touch their partner. Who knows, though, I may be reading into what I want but it has stuck with me. It was like she caressed my heart. It is very hard to explain, but that touch hasn't left me since.


Well, what did all of this mean ISFPs? I'm just an emotionally retarded INTJ needing help. That touch has remained in my soul since, and this is coming from a person who rarely touches, likes being touched, or deals with emotions. I am not particularly good understanding these things, but I liked all of it and it has affected me, when, normally, I would dislike emotional/touchy situations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
208 Posts
Out of respect for myself and the other a lot of details will left to be vague.


This was the last time I would see this ISFP person (possibly forever) and the mood was somber but loving. The finality of the moment brought about a tender emotional presence that was almost like hugging (without physically doing so.)

This ISFP has been a major influence to me in my life, recently, and, in the recent past, I have expressed my romantic feelings towards her by asking her out. She declined, as expected, because it literally would not be possible for us to date.

Going back to our moment, I felt very emotionally present to her and divulged to her, finally, how my father died after hinting at it for a long time. I felt so emotionally close to her I wanted to tell her, and knowing that this might be the last time I would see her made me feel very sad.

Furthermore, I have been developing the idea of transcendent Beauty in my life, that last year discussing it much with her, and have been able to share with her how Beauty has changed my life (I've traveled to mountains, seen it in the eyes of my loved ones, poetry, music.) Finally, I told her how beautiful she is to me, and how that beauty inspires me to be a better person. I told her that her Beauty is radiant from within and it has made me want to change my life and that all she had to do, this whole time, was be her. I also exclaimed how I see Beauty in her eyes, as well, when they sparkle. I think this person has, underneath, been to Beauty driving this emotional change in myself.

We listened to music that I brought, that I felt was sitting on my heart.

She cried, and I still do not know why. When leaving she rubbed/caressed my back and it felt special. It didn’t feel like a normal pat goodbye, as, if a man or, even, another woman rubbed me that way I would feel intensely creeped out. It felt tender, like how a lover would touch their partner. Who knows, though, I may be reading into what I want but it has stuck with me. It was like she caressed my heart. It is very hard to explain, but that touch hasn't left me since.


Well, what did all of this mean ISFPs? I'm just an emotionally retarded INTJ needing help. That touch has remained in my soul since, and this is coming from a person who rarely touches, likes being touched, or deals with emotions. I am not particularly good understanding these things, but I liked all of it and it has affected me, when, normally, I would dislike emotional/touchy situations.
It seems to me like she wants to go out with you, but cannot? I'm obviously unsure of what you mean when you say it is literally not possible, but if it truly is impossible, then I still think she's into you.

I would say, without knowing the circumstances, that she has affection towards you but either knows you cannot be together, or is shying away from her feelings.

The friend vs lover touch is very distinctive.

How did she respond when you told her how full of beauty she is? IMO, that is a big part of the equation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
669 Posts
Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
How did she respond when you told her how full of beauty she is? IMO, that is a big part of the equation.
She seemed very flattered and excited, but in a shy kind of way. I have seen her be uncomfortable before, and she didn't seem to that way this time. It was out of character for me, an INTJ, to say but it weighed so heavily on heart (her beauty) that I had to express it. It became so meaningful to me, in completely non-romantic way, that I had to tell her.

We couldn't date, though, we aren't minor/adult or anything creepy like that (we are the same age almost exactly.)

At the end of the moment together, she had to go but she kept sitting with me in silence instead. Neither one of us wanted to leave, but it became too painful for me to stay, knowing I would most likely never see her again, so I initiated "the leaving."

The feelings I have, afterwards, are "longing feelings." For example, I want to hold her and place my cheek against hers. That said, I am not used to feelings, but that whole situation has left me with a myriad of feelings I have not been able to walk away from. INTJs feel feelings once every few years, but when we do it is all consuming and alarming since we are not normally "feelers".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
208 Posts
She seemed very flattered and excited, but in a shy kind of way. I have seen her be uncomfortable before, and she didn't seem to that way this time. It was out of character for me, an INTJ, to say but it weighed so heavily on heart (her beauty) that I had to express it. It became so meaningful to me, in completely non-romantic way, that I had to tell her.

We couldn't date, though, we aren't minor/adult or anything creepy like that (we are the same age almost exactly.)

At the end of the moment together, she had to go but she kept sitting with me in silence instead. Neither one of us wanted to leave, but it became too painful for me to stay, knowing I would most likely never see her again, so I initiated "the leaving."

The feelings I have, afterwards, are "longing feelings." For example, I want to hold her and place my cheek against hers. That said, I am not used to feelings, but that whole situation has left me with a myriad of feelings I have not been able to walk away from. INTJs feel feelings once every few years, but when we do it is all consuming and alarming since we are not normally "feelers".
I just want to say, I think it's very important that you flat out told her that, since most of us need to be told directly. I do, for sure.

It sounds like a really awkward situation. I mean, I don't know what to really say...but it sounds like she has some level of affection for you. I'm different in most ISFPs in that I would have responded with words saying directly how I felt, but it's not weird that she seemed flattered and jittery.

You are in love with her, right? Or at least you think you are? Again, I don't know what to say, man. Although my mom is an INTJ, so I do know about INTJ's panic over sudden emotions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
882 Posts
  • Like
Reactions: JaguarPap

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,802 Posts
Do most ISFPs shy away from their feelings (somewhat to a nōn-sequitur.)
I don't necessarily shy away from my emotions, but I go to great lengths to hide them from others.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JaguarPap

·
Electronica Wizard
Joined
·
6,687 Posts
Do most ISFPs shy away from their feelings (somewhat to a nōn-sequitur.)
They don't shy away necessarily (they can be extremely stubborn), but like any dominant introverted feelers (including INFP), they tend to internalize their feelings. They are fully aware that their emotions can either make or be their ultimate undoing. Emotional stress and heartbreak can land me in the hospital. Like.. for realz.. That's why I tend to stay away for my own sanity.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
311 Posts
Wow... are you me from the future?
Reading this made me feel like it's the exact case i'm in... yeah, I really empathize man.

Why couldn't you two be together?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
156 Posts
She cried, and I still do not know why. When leaving she rubbed/caressed my back and it felt special. It didn’t feel like a normal pat goodbye, as, if a man or, even, another woman rubbed me that way I would feel intensely creeped out. It felt tender, like how a lover would touch their partner. Who knows, though, I may be reading into what I want but it has stuck with me. It was like she caressed my heart. It is very hard to explain, but that touch hasn't left me since.

Well, what did all of this mean ISFPs? I'm just an emotionally retarded INTJ needing help. That touch has remained in my soul since, and this is coming from a person who rarely touches, likes being touched, or deals with emotions. I am not particularly good understanding these things, but I liked all of it and it has affected me, when, normally, I would dislike emotional/touchy situations.
She cares deeply for you. I don't know why you two can't be together, but if she cried, it means that she empathised and could feel exactly how you felt. And then she caressed your back because she wanted to help ease that pain, it was her way of expressing her care. That's why it touched your heart... because ISFPs are deeply empathetic... and deep inside you needed it. And she knew.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top