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Hi everyone! I've been getting varied results on the different enneagram tests I've taken, so I wanted to turn it over to the experts and see what you think. :) I have often tested as a 1, but the descriptions of 1s don't sound like me at all. I'm pretty sure I'm a 4, as that sounds much more accurate for me based on descriptions. Again my tritype test results have been varied so I am very unsure of that, especially when trying to guess / determine wings. I'd really appreciate your help!

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

Emotional fulfillment and meaning. I am very individualistic and constantly trying to better myself and grow. I also have a strong sense of right and wrong and am very empathetic by nature. I tend to absorb others' emotions and easily see multiple perspectives on things. I have always had a need to do what I can to make the world a better place. Learning and gaining understanding of the world is something I really enjoy and that I need to be happy. I'm constantly taking in information, and I feel I spend most of my time inside my head because I have such a rich inner life. I spend a lot of time thinking about anything and everything.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I want to live a life I can be proud of and be content with myself in. I want a fulfilling career I enjoy, as well as close relationships with friends and family, but most importantly to continually be growing and improving myself as much as possible. I want to contribute something to improve the world in some way, however small. I want to be a good friend to those around me and to always strive to be kind, or at the very least polite.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I want to be true to myself in my individualistic nature while also not being selfish and contributing something valuable to others. I could not be proud of a life in which I am not constantly growing and becoming a better person. I never want to lose sight of what is the right thing to do. I do not want to waste my life by doing something unfulfilling or by failing to contribute positively to the world.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

The biggest one is losing my family, followed closely by losing my dogs. My strong bond to my parents and to my pets is a defining part of me, and I know that without them I would be lost. It is scariest because I know that some day it will come true and I will have to face that nightmare, as no one lives forever. Another huge fear of mine is of my health deteriorating, especially with my mental health issues from the past coming back in full force. I think anyone would fear that, though, having gone through years of trauma dealing with severe depression and anxiety.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want others to see me as smart, strong, kind, and hardworking. I see myself as resilient and empathetic, self-aware, loyal, deeply emotional, opinionated, often shy, and frequently misunderstood.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel my best when I have accomplished something I have worked long and hard for, when I have been kind to another person, when I have been true to myself even when it was challenging, when I have had sufficient alone time to recharge, and when in the company of the people I love most and feel truly understand me. I feel my worst when I feel I have not tried as hard as I could have at something that matters to me, when I have let down someone I love, when I have not been a good friend, when I have not been true to myself, when I don't give myself time to rest, or when I have over-isolated myself for too long.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

I do not anger easily or often, but once something has made me truly mad it is difficult to let go of. If I feel I have been deeply wronged I can find it difficult to let go of a grudge. I don't experience shame very much, only when I feel I have not done the right thing and let myself or my loved ones down. I can be self-conscious or shy but actual shame isn't a frequent experience for me. I am anxious literally always. I have clinical anxiety which amplifies it, but I feel I am a worrier by nature. I have spent years working on reining in the anxiety and not letting it rule my life, but it has been a long and challenging road to doing so. I also have strong social anxiety that makes large group gatherings less than pleasant. I prefer to deal with people one on one or in small groups of 3-4 maximum.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

Stress makes it much more difficult to keep my anxiety at bay. I deal with stressful situations when I have to, but prefer to avoid unnecessary chaotic situations. Unexpected change is deeply difficult for me. I like to plan in advance in order to emotionally prepare myself to deal with major changes. Unexpected changes make me stressed, anxious, frazzled, and unable to ignore the worries that pop into my head. I dislike conflict and avoid it when it is not necessary, however I would rather address a situation and talk it out than let tension simmer and stress me out for a long time. While I don't really like to address conflict, I find addressing it and moving on to be the preferable course of action.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

I am definitely a rule follower and tend to respect authority until I am given a genuine reason not to. I do not obey unquestioningly and my sense of right and wrong is stronger than my desire to follow the rules. If I feel an authority is doing something unjust or that they may be untrustworthy I will not blindly follow. I'm not someone who desires power for its own sake. If I were to seek power in some way, it would be for the sake of what it could allow me to accomplish, such as helping other people or bettering the world. The only power I truly desire is to follow what I know to be right and to make myself better.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Life is for learning, growing, helping others, doing good, and gaining understanding. Humanity is neither good nor bad but each person has both within them. It is our responsibility to do something with the life we have and do create some value, which looks different for everyone.


Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

When I was in high school (I'm now a senior in college) I went through several years of deep and crippling depression / anxiety. I had always dealt with anxiety and panic attacks but at that point it took over my life. I was suicidal for over a year. I felt there was no hope that I would ever feel better again. It was a long and painful road but over the course of around 4 years I fought my way out of the hole I was in. I did everything I could to get better - therapy, medication, acupuncture, meditation, etc. etc. I was willing to try it all and put everything I had into it, just in case by some miracle it would work. With the support of my family and by the strength of my determination and resilience I did get better. I now still deal with depression and anxiety but on a much more minor level, and the anxiety is the most prominent at this point. It was the most difficult thing I ever experienced and it truly changed me, but now I can appreciate my own work ethic and inner fight that has allowed me to get to such a better place.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I am not overly trusting but I also do not have issues with trust. I tend to trust people to a certain degree until they either give me a reason not to, or they show over time that I really can trust them.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

I like that I am empathetic and intuitive and easily understand others, as well as having learned to understand myself. I like my introspectiveness. I like that I am intensely loyal, a good friend, motivated by what I feel is right, and the polar opposite of a quitter. I dislike how inhibited I am and unable to let go, especially in social situations. I often feel I am "no fun" because of that. I dislike that I struggle to see the most efficient way of doing things, instead stubbornly trying with all my might to accomplish something (the hard way).

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I have a good instinctive gut reaction to people. I often can tell if I will get along with them ("good vibes" I guess) or if I immediately feel I dislike them for some reason. In those cases, I find it is not me being judgmental that allows me to form a negative opinion quickly, but some kind of intuitive feeling that usually proves correct later on.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

Neither situation would have a profound effect on me, I don't think. If a stranger insulted me I would have a brief unpleasant feeling and probably be annoyed for a few minutes. If a stranger complimented me, I would probably react kind of like "Huh, how nice of them. That was random." with a brief positive feeling that I would forget about in a matter of minutes.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

I am thankful I have such a close relationship with my parents. I know that a bond like ours is very unusual, especially between young adults and their parents. It is very special and is one of the great joys of my life. I wish I could have the perfect career path present itself to me, one in which I would be fulfilled without being overwhelmed, and in which all the hard work was worth it and brought me joy. I am still trying to find my path right now and I wish I could find what I'm "meant to do" so I can stop being concerned that I will choose the wrong thing and be unhappy as a result.


Thank you in advance!
 

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Hey jng,

From what I can read, your behaviour is really akin to the enneatype 6. The way you care for others, dealing with anxiety and having a preference for rules and structure makes you a good candidate for this enneatype (at least as a head fix). Having a 6 head fix when being a core type 4 would make you struggle to maintain your individualistic edge with a constant urge to be around a loving, trusting group of people. The 6-ish aspect of your personality is deeply reminescent of my sister, who is core 6 with a 4 heart fix. She loves her little clan to death and would do almost anything to help them. Also your tendecy to be extremely loyal and your weakness to stress and panic attacks may be all related to the 6 tendency to overthink its environment and lets its fears unleashed.

As for your gut type, the enneatype 1 may be the best fit according to your description. You keep talking about doing what's right and catching every occasion to ''better yourself''. You also want to use power ''to better the world'' if you were to have it. You seem to be persistent (the opposite of a quitter, unable to let go) and all your self-description tend to exsude a strong, moral feel to it.

This is why I believe your tritype to be 461 (the Philosopher). Your description seems to really fit with the excerpt below:

146 (The Philosopher)
Archetype: They are “diligent, intuitive, and inquisitive. You want to be ethical, original and certain. Morally focused, you have strong emotions and are inclined to voice your feelings and intuitions. You care deeply and want to help others improve their lives and the expectations they have of themselves.”
Core Triggers: Feeling wrong, inadequate and/or uncertain.
Core Fears: The core fears are of being wrong, bad, evil, angry, inappropriate, unqualified, corruptible, nonredeemable, condemned, being inadequate, emotionally cut off, mundane, ordinary, commonplace, being abandoned, fear itself, danger, being alone, cowardice, submitting, and deviance, uncertainty, targeted, and chaos.
Blind Spot: The blind spot is that they can be so identified with what they perceive is the morally correct way of being that they can come across as overly prudish, rigid and inflexible. When they feel insecure, they can be overly critical of themselves and others and appear to be a snob.
Growing Edge: The growing edge is to recognize that authenticity is not cultivated. Their inclination is to create a sense of self around an identity of being informed and educated. Sophistry is a mimic of being. True awareness comes from being present to the moment rather than developing an image of being ‘in the know’.

Hope this helps :)
 
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