Personality Cafe banner

Please help me- I can't decide if I'm an ISFJ or INFJ

6106 Views 22 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  Viveke
So I've read descriptions of both types and there are aspects of both that I relate to. I feel like if I'm an ISFJ, I have a really bad memory for one and am lacking in practicality, logic, etc. But I don't think I'm really that intuitive, although I'd love to be. (I'm jealous of anyone who can "read people" well- people's minds and personalities fascinate me). I know they are separate temperaments, but I think I might be an ISFJ, INFJ wannabe.

Some things that may or may not be relevant:

-I feel like I generally take things at face value, and then remember to analyze them.
-I easily get jealous of and am possessive of my friends, but don't show it.
-I cannot or do not bother to predict the outcome to books or movies. Twist endings almost always take me by surprise.
-I am insecure- when someone compliments me on working quickly, I always get paranoid that I left something out. I often feel like I'm not good at anything.
-I envy people who don't seem to let anything bother them. I often feel weak because I'm overly sensitive
-I love the idea of being part of a group- when everyone depends on and cares about one another. I like assembly lines.
-Intuition confuses me, period. Maybe I'm thinking of it in the wrong sense.
-I often imagine elaborate conversations with people- real, fictional, strangers, and friends
-I enjoy analyzing friends and fictional characters
-I don't mind breaking rules and sometimes enjoy it (when doing so doesn't hurt others in any way)
-My dad frequently gets frustrated with me because whenever he asks me a question, I think of why he's asking that question and answer that instead of the actual question.
-I consider myself liberal (politically wise). The idea that anyone has pre-determined roles in society annoys me
-I'm attracted to things that are "dark"- music, art, people
-A good way to motivate me is to criticize me- I'll want to prove you wrong
-Whenever I'm listening to music in my car, I keep the windows up because I don't want anyone else to hear what I'm listening to. I will, however, freely tell people what type of music I like. I don't understand this.
-From the type descriptions, a world of "hidden meanings and possibilities" seems much more appealing than one that is "concrete and kind"
-I have trouble understanding basic logical concepts.
-I have difficulty "living in the moment"- I'm always worried about what's going to happen next
Any feedback would be welcome. I know this was long- I appreciate it if you read it all the way through (or at all)
Thank you!
See less See more
1 - 3 of 23 Posts
How good are you with details? In school were you good with subjects that involved a lot of memorization of detail like histroy or biology or did you prefer subjects that explained concepts but weren't detail-heavy? How much attention do you pay to people's physical appearance? Do you easily notice and remember what they wear, what they look like, see that they got a new haircut right away and stuff like that? Do you consider physical appearance to be an important feature in a partner? Or are you mostly oblivious to physical appearances? Would you say you are more practical or more dreamy? Do you frequently zone out and then have people ask you what are you thinking about?
Hmm...well I would say I'm good at history and biology, but have trouble remembering things like dates and places (which I assume an ISFJ would remember?), and am more likely to remember cause and effect relationships or themes. I notice what people look like (usually) but quickly forget after I'm not looking at them anymore. Appearance is pretty important to me though. Practicality annoys me- I probably will end up doing the practical thing, but I won't want to. And I definitely zone out a lot (most of the time).
So what do you think?
Sounds like you make decent use of your intuition so it may indeed be your secondary or primary function. When you say appearance is important do you mean your own appearance is very important as in presenting the best image to outside world or do you actually attribute people more/less value based on their physical appearance? For example would it be a significant factor for you if you are dating a guy of specific height/hair color/eye color? Sensors pay way more attention to this than do intuitives and with INFJs/ISFJs this difference is particularly striking because sensory function is dominant one for ISFJs while intuition is dominant one for INFJs. So for example my ISFJ mother would comment on people's posture, or height, or how they are dressed, while I am prone to not attribute any value to such observations.

Also mis-testing across P and J is quite common, so consider that you may also be an ISFP or INFP.
  • Like
Reactions: 1
...One of the things that bothered me about the type descriptions was how it was either "literal and concrete" or "via intuition". I take things in through my senses and then interpret them. Sometimes it'll just be a "feeling" I get from a person and a place, but I think I could attribute that to tangible qualities- color, temperature, etc.- but if someone asks me to explain I won't have a lot to say or it won't make sense to them.
The profiles describe the absolute of that type, but of course nobody fits that absolute and there is a range of learned coping mechanisms that most of us pick up in childhood and adolescence to make up for our weaker points. That last part you mentioned about not quite being able to describe in exact detail where that vibe is coming from that you feel sounds very INFJ-ish to me. I often get such vibes that I then have to deconstruct for other people if I wish to explain to them why I feel/think a particular way. I'd also recommend you hang out in ISFJ and INFJ forums and read the sticky notes, then see which one you can relate to the most.
1 - 3 of 23 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.