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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I have this issue, I guess if we can call it that. I often time find myself creating scenarios with a member of the opposite sex in my mind that are based off of small, simple interactions. Such as simply texting with someone or even just in a few chance encounters. It's with someone I find interesting in some way. Mostly in a romantic type of way.

So the issue comes in the way that I often conjure up these grand fantasies in my mind of how our relationship will progress. And it almost never goes the way I scheme in my mind. Some times I get so involved in the fantasy portion of it I ignore all the facts telling me this person is not interested in me the same way I am interested in them. This often leaves me grandly disappointed once, usually after a decent amount of time, I realize we are not even on the same level.

Does this happen to other ENTP's or am I just crazy?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah but I tend to do it often. I wish I didn't because it just sets me up for great disappointment.
 
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I can confirm this in myself but is it type or function related?

Maybe more likely with Ne-Ti's because we are using a subjective judging function that is not focused on our feelings like Fi. Dunno.

If you are still at large, you are not crazy. This is what I am telling myself.
 

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I do it all the time. I think most Ne-users do that, as a matter of fact.

I'm not sure about the disappointed part, though. I'm of the 'optimistic pessimist' kind. So whenever I catch myself getting too caught up in my own conjured scenarios, I go the opposite direction. Sort of like, "this and this could happen - but this and this could also happen". That's how I never expect anything, because there's an equally high chance of it going well or wrong. If you never expect anything, you don't get disappointed.
 
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I do this all the time. I've come to terms with it; I can't not think about the future possibilities. All you need to do is calm down, stop worrying about it and keep in mind that these scenarios have no base in reality. If it hasn't happened yet, it isn't real. If you drop that mentality you really will feel like you're going crazy; trust me, I've done it. Keep your expectations of a relationship moderate to low.

For instance, if you're getting close to someone but don't know where it will lead in the future, you probably have at least 3-5 scenarios for the possible outcomes going through your mind. One says they'll hate you and leave, another says you'll get together for a while but it won't work, and then you have some elaborate fantasies about them being "the one" and running away to Switzerland or settling down and having kids. Assume that you'll get together for a while but it won't work. That way, if you don't get together it will be a little disappointing but at least you tried, and if it does work out really well then you'll be pleasantly surprised. Never let yourself get caught up in fantasies to the point where you start to believe them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I do this all the time. I've come to terms with it; I can't not think about the future possibilities. All you need to do is calm down, stop worrying about it and keep in mind that these scenarios have no base in reality. If it hasn't happened yet, it isn't real. If you drop that mentality you really will feel like you're going crazy; trust me, I've done it. Keep your expectations of a relationship moderate to low.

For instance, if you're getting close to someone but don't know where it will lead in the future, you probably have at least 3-5 scenarios for the possible outcomes going through your mind. One says they'll hate you and leave, another says you'll get together for a while but it won't work, and then you have some elaborate fantasies about them being "the one" and running away to Switzerland or settling down and having kids. Assume that you'll get together for a while but it won't work. That way, if you don't get together it will be a little disappointing but at least you tried, and if it does work out really well then you'll be pleasantly surprised. Never let yourself get caught up in fantasies to the point where you start to believe them.
Thanks, your comment I can really relate to. I try to keep my expectations based in reality. Even while I conjure these things in my mind I look at the reality of how far out there some of these scenarios actually are. I just find it hard to keep myself grounded to reality when it is someone I very much want to have a relationship with. I guess I just have to practice reminding myself that these are fictional scenarios and need to pay attention to the reality of the relationship. Maybe even asking sooner in the relationship with the person about their feelings of me. That way I don't get too far out there in my own mind.
 
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Thanks, your comment I can really relate to. I try to keep my expectations based in reality. Even while I conjure these things in my mind I look at the reality of how far out there some of these scenarios actually are. I just find it hard to keep myself grounded to reality when it is someone I very much want to have a relationship with. I guess I just have to practice reminding myself that these are fictional scenarios and need to pay attention to the reality of the relationship. Maybe even asking sooner in the relationship with the person about their feelings of me. That way I don't get too far out there in my own mind.
I know what you mean. I often feel like I'm losing touch with reality and need to somehow root myself in it. This is one of my avoidance tactics that I use to avoid admitting I feel strong emotions. Love is a scary feeling, and it can make you do crazy things sometimes. It's so much easier to try to analyze the situation over and over than to just admit how lost, confused and emotional you feel about a person. We seek comfort in logic, and of course there is no logic behind our feelings, so it makes us feel like we're losing sight of reality. But sometimes... you just need to let go and let yourself feel lost, confused and emotional. It's a natural feeling, and it's something people live with every day. It's okay to not know what's happening all the time. Trust yourself to make good choices, even when it seems like you shouldn't be the one making them.
 

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@basher83 Tis the curse of Ne. We see possibilities, it's what we're good at. There is nothing wrong with it as long as you rationalize it to put it into perspective. A vivid imagination is a good thing, just don't let it hinder your plans. Pick the most likely possibility and stick with it, keeping about 2-3 in reserve in case of an emergency.
 

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Interesting. I do this too. It's really annoying and hard to control. Good to keep myself distracted to I'm not tempted to set myself up for disappointment..

I will also think back to past scenarios when I was interacting with that person and play out other possible events that could have precipitated and will over-analyse everything I can remember that took place. This has no logical basis. It's like I'm playing groundhog day in my mind! Basically a form of entertainment for myself, and if I made a mistake I'll know not to do it again Si...Ne
 

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I do this all the time.
 

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Oh man I actually enjoy creating fantastical scenarios like that. It sort of helps me figure out how well I can predict people's reactions etc, and what I might do and say in that situation. Endless fun for me, really.
 

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I do this a lot and have no intention of stopping, though I too have dissappointed myself. Why?

A) at least the hurt means I am feeling something

B) I enjoy it, it helps me be more optimistic

C) I think it is a good way to use my imagination
 

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Ne's a bitch and I want my money back...

I often have to make sure I frame such projections as theoretical to avoid disappointment as well. I've made progress, but once in a while I still miss the brick wall for the cloud hanging in front of my face.
 

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Welcome to the wonderful world of Extraverted iNtuition.
 

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So I have this issue, I guess if we can call it that. I often time find myself creating scenarios with a member of the opposite sex in my mind that are based off of small, simple interactions. Such as simply texting with someone or even just in a few chance encounters. It's with someone I find interesting in some way. Mostly in a romantic type of way.

So the issue comes in the way that I often conjure up these grand fantasies in my mind of how our relationship will progress. And it almost never goes the way I scheme in my mind. Some times I get so involved in the fantasy portion of it I ignore all the facts telling me this person is not interested in me the same way I am interested in them. This often leaves me grandly disappointed once, usually after a decent amount of time, I realize we are not even on the same level.

Does this happen to other ENTP's or am I just crazy?
Everyone does this to some extent, unless they have a huge aversion to fantasy and imagination but I think what you're describing is introverted intuition moreso than extroverted intuition. So of the NTs, it would be the NTJs who would be more capable of possessing such a vivid imagination.
 

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I know what you mean. I often feel like I'm losing touch with reality and need to somehow root myself in it. This is one of my avoidance tactics that I use to avoid admitting I feel strong emotions. Love is a scary feeling, and it can make you do crazy things sometimes. It's so much easier to try to analyze the situation over and over than to just admit how lost, confused and emotional you feel about a person. We seek comfort in logic, and of course there is no logic behind our feelings, so it makes us feel like we're losing sight of reality. But sometimes... you just need to let go and let yourself feel lost, confused and emotional. It's a natural feeling, and it's something people live with every day. It's okay to not know what's happening all the time. Trust yourself to make good choices, even when it seems like you shouldn't be the one making them.
I just been through that and luckily found out she already was occupied before I made a more serious move.
 
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How it works is probably the result of optimism to possibilities, idealistic fantasizing about how "perfect" it would be (minus the fact that all girls fart, take dumps, and can be moody), and sexual lust.

The disappointment of rejection, if you do act upon it, is inofitself a bit of a rush. It's a good learning experience, a morale boost even (as you realize you had the balls to at least try to make it work, and you would have 100% failed if you didn't even try). And it allows you to move on to another girl who might be a lot better for you than to be stuck fantasizing about one girl.
 
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