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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Every sub-forum has a vent thread and they are typically filled with ...well...venting. With the purging of negative thoughts that plague us. However, in turn, they are filled with negativity.

In this thread:

Post experiences/situations, either positive, neutral, or negative, that you took something positive from, with that being the focus of your post and the experience merely a backstory (unless the experience itself is the positive):tongue:.

The kindness of a stranger (in a time of need?).

Your baby's first steps (after refusing to try walking?).

Getting that job, finally (after being denied one you thought you'd wanted?)

We all have negative experiences fairly regularly...but, many of them bring forth positive outcomes and/or positive growth and/or positive feelings that we often don't focus on after the fact. In this thread, hopefully, we will. :)
 

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MOTM January 2013
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I will definitely be posting more to this thread, what a great idea @JaySH

To start off...

I think the many life experiences I have had, both positive and negative are what has helped to shape me into the person I am today, I can say that im proud of myself for pulling through at least to give myself a chance to smell the grass on the otherside and know eventually I will get where I want to be in life. The wisdom I have gained is irreplaceable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
Holy Shit...sorry for the length...I think it is worth reading...maybe...:tongue:

My worst/best Christmas:

I was 9 (almost 10) years old and hoping for new Nintendo games. I'd been good. I'd stepped up after losing my stepfather and really tried being the "man of the house". I had worked hard and learned some plumbing in order to repair the sink and bath tub. I'd taken responsibility on most don't have to...so, I was guaranteed a great Christmas from Santa (still kindof believed..with doubts).

Perfect kid? Nope...but, my heart was good and..I tried.

So..here we are..Christmas morning. I'm up at 3 am waiting....crawling down the hall to sneak a peak at the glorious tree and presents piled high..and, I was not disappointed. Presents everywhere...on the windowsill. Overflowing onto the couch. This was going to be THE.BEST.CHRISTMAS.EVER! Santa must be real...and, we must have been real good.

4 am came...4:30....4:45.... I couldn't take it anymore...."MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM...SANTA CAME......THERE'S PR..." *thinking to myself* "oops....we aren't suppose to look"....

"Ten more minutes Jay..."

"BUT MOM...I'VE BEEN UP FOREVER!"

My sisters now awake with me...all of us anxious...and..my mom was FINALLY up. 4:52am (completely guessing at times, btw...but..it was EARLY and nowhere near the ten minutes she'd said).

I run out to the presents like a starved animal rushing for food....and..pause...waiting for my sisters to catch up. Ok...time to dig in..." To:Christie From: Santa"

"To:Ashley From: Santa"

"To:Yvette from: Santa"

To:Christie From: Santa"


"To:Ashley From: Santa"


"To:Yvette from: Santa" ..........................................
......................................
.........................................

YES!
"To:Jason From:Santa"

i rip open the present and ....yeah...one of the 11 or 12 games I'd asked for. Not my first choice but really wanted this game.

I dig some more .....

To:Christie From: Santa"


"To:Ashley From: Santa"


"To:Yvette from: Santa"


To:Christie From: Santa"


"To:Ashley From: Santa"


"To:Yvette from: Santa" ..........................................
......................................
.........................................


YEAH!
"To:Jason From:Santa"

This one's squishy....
...again...with great anticipation, I tear off the paper..

and..."HUH"..."socks...mom never wraps socks".

so...I dig...and I dig...and I dig...and...nothing.

*thinking to myself* " it has been a tough year...maybe Santa isn't real...and mom just didn't have the money...maybe I just wasn't good enough this year...I like this game....it's perfect"


So...I started playing. A short time later...my cousin Kammy, who lived with us, asked how I liked my gameS...

"I like my game...it's the one I really wanted"

"well...what about the others?" She asks...

*fighting back tears...smiling*

"oh...I only got this game..but, it's the one I really wanted"

Just then...she looks at me funny an returns to walk down the hall...1 second...2 seconds...3 seconds...

"OH MY GAAAAAAWWWD CHERIENE...COME HERE" she says..laughing

my mom scurries down the hall...I've run to the corner...perplexed, and was watching as she looked in her room...mouth dropped and a hand covered it. My cousin Kammy comes walking out with.....

A STACK OF GAME SIZED PRESENTS!!


My mom, in trying to play Santa for 4 kids, had forgotten my presents on her dresser.

And so...utter disappointment...learning to accept less and working on not being selfish..being happy with the one gift...knowing it was more than some got and acting ecstatic even though I had been heartbroken.....only to realize..She'd gotten me every single game I'd written on my list...

Every.single.one.

They talked for days about how I handled it..and, honestly, I was proud to have not complained. I knew..or was pretty sure, that my mom bought the presents and she'd been through enough...

And, yet, she'd made it happen. She found a way to give all of us a great Christmas.

And...to kill any chance of me still believing in Santa..:tongue:
 

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When I was seven months pregnant last year, for reasons unknown, my water broke as I was sleeping in my bed one morning. My husband drove me to the hospital and thus began a 12 day stint of strict bed rest and inactivity in the hospital for me. We just had to wait and see how long my son would stay in utero without the comfort of all the fluid he was used to. During this time, I reached out to family and friends and told them what had happened. My husband and I work at the same place. They immediately relieved him and me of our upcoming shifts. They told us just to keep them updated when we could, and not to worry. We had already worked out a maternity leave schedule, which then began as I lay in the hospital. They were very understanding to what happened and sent me flowers and and told me not to worry about returning to work anytime soon. They even gave me more time off that originally planned. They gave my husband however much time off he wanted, too. It really made me realize how lucky I am to work at this small business with people who I know and know me. These people actually care about me, my husband and our baby. I felt so fortunate that we weren't just a number to a corporation. That we were treated like family, because that's basically what we are, 40 hours a week.

While I laid in bed for 12 days (and several weeks after this, recovering), my husband rarely left my side. He did everything in his power to make me comfortable. He made sure I got everything I needed and wanted. He helped with even some things other people would find gross. He did it without complaining or making it seem like it was burdening him. He refilled my cups of water the second I had my last sip. He brought me games to play and played them with me. He moved the tables and furniture around for me whenever I needed to use the table. He helped me get out of bed to use the bathroom or take a shower. He was my muscle, my guide, my body. He did everything for me! He did 1000x more things for me than the nurses. He went home and rearranged our bedroom to make it more comfortable for my homecoming. When the baby was born, he held my hand the entire time. Once we got home, he helped me with the breast pump, washing all the bottles and parts so I didn't have to get up.

This experience that could have been horrible, was actually positive for me in that it showed me how deeply my husband loves me and loves our new family. How dedicated he is to me, how devoted. How he doesn't complain or take things personally. How strong he is and how unconditionally supportive he is. He is a man of few words. It can be hard sometimes to know how much he really loves me because he doesn't say a lot. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. Whenever I feel like he is distant from me or our relationship is having a rough spot, I think back to that time in the hospital and remember that deep down, he loves me and would do anything for me. Whenever I mad at him or want to nit pick about something he has done, I try to remember this time in the hospital too. He is a real winner and I am so lucky to have him. I probably have a thing or two to learn from him about how to show love in my actions.

All in all, the whole ordeal just showed me how much the close people in my life actually do care about me and it makes me feel humbled. Sometimes I get to feeling like no one really cares. But that's not true. Some people show they love you in other ways than you would expect. I try to remember this when I am feeling unloved or sorry for myself.
 

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Thanks for your support JaySH. I can join in here. Today I spent a few hours with my friend helping her with her presentation. I believe her english is great and that she is very intelligent. It felt good to help her with her assignment, and see her get more confident about her presentation. She has been such a good friend in the short time I've gotten to know her. To be able to help her really made my day.

Thanks for taking a moment to send me a caring message. Even though I'm still an epic failure at relationships. Your few messages helped me to take my mind of things for a little bit.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
@ethylester

That.Was.Beautiful....really..really beautiful.
 

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MOTM June 2012
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2008. I had just broken up with my girlfriend, my psycho aunt moved in with my family, I was struggling with classes, with depression, and all sorts of stress. I didn't think it could get much worse. Then I got a DUI. Now, normally they'd have taken me to jail, but they took me to the emergency room because I blew a .4 at the scene which is coma state/death. I woke up in a hospital bed, on suicide watch. It was June 1st, 2008.

What followed were some of the darkest blackest years of my life. I was always a bad kid, getting in fights, messing around with drugs, with sex, failing at school, and this just made my parents hate me even more. I remember my father screaming "I'M DONE WITH HIM. I'M DONE WITH HIM." Then there were the courts. Heavy fines, rehab, drug testing, community service, restricted license, AA meetings, therapy and a court system who was just waiting for me to fuck it all up again.

My life spiraled downhill, and I started having panic attacks, and my depression worsened. I felt ashamed whenever I was home, and when I went out with friends, none of them could understand what I was going through. I remember nights just crying myself to sleep, or putting my fist through a wall, or just staring out into space, wondering why I was still alive.

At my lowest point, I turned inward. I realized I must be here for a reason, and I was determined to find that reason. I felt like I had been given a second chance at life, and everything seemed so beautiful, so new. I became very sensitive to all things. I remember that first Christmas. I wrote my family heartfelt letters telling them how much I love them and care about them and I read them to each other on Christmas Eve. We haven't embraced each other like that night before or since.

I started working out to combat my depression, and I threw all of my emotions into my music. I began praying more. Praying for strength to endure. I had a family who was ashamed of me, a court system who doubted me, and friends who couldn't understand me. I was alone in every sense of the word, and I knew that I just had to keep going. I just had to keep pushing through it. I knew then that some part of me died that night, but there was a stronger fiercer self being born. I wasn't coasting through life anymore. I was living it, to the fullest, and I was grateful for every breath, for every second of life, because I knew it could have been very different. I was playing for keeps this time, and I was going to take life by the throat, suck the marrow out of it, bloody it a little, and give it something to remember me by.

I remember driving to that last drug test. I knew I was changed, I knew I was stronger, and that if I could get through that, then I could get through anything. That's the first time I started to believe in myself as person and as a man. I flicked the cigarette out the window and drove on in the dark, the pride welling up in me, a smile slowly forming across my face.
 

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@KindOfBlue06
Wow, that was...well, thank you so much for sharing that. It was a really life-affirming story: so rarely do I hear of anyone who has found the sudden will and drive, and picked themselves up entirely from that point.

All the other stories were really moving too - thank you for sharing them, guys.
This is a great thread @JaySH!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
@KindOfBlue06

You and I have more in common than I realized....and you've been one of the people I respect most on this site. Thank you for sharing.

My positive vent:

I woke up this morning and read a story, posted on a forum, that gave me inspiration and other posts that filled me with warmth. Thanks everyone :)
 

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Can't sleep so I'm going to positive vent :).

The past year I've felt that I was struggling the whole time. I've been trying so hard to create the relationships and structure that I want for my life and it keeps going wrong. Some of it is my fault and some of it is just bad luck and some of it is realizing that my coping strategies aren't helping me to cope any more and having to find new ones. I hope that next year is easier!

But one thing that I am really really happy about is that I am so much closer to my sister than I was 12 months ago. I have always looked up to her, a little too much, putting her on a pedestal and thinking less of myself. She has always been more confident and less prone to analyzing and over-analyzing her experiences. When there was emotional trouble in the family as kids, my way of dealing with it was to try to fix everything and make everyone happy. Hers was to remove herself from the situation and focus on being responsible for her own happiness. This made her always seem much older than she was and very distant from me. I remember (shamefully :proud:) reading her diary when we were in high school and being sad that she didn't mention me at all.

But some things have happened (the major one being that she had a baby, and I visited her a lot), and now I think we are friends. I love myself enough to relate to her more as an equal, and she reflects that back to me.

The other day she said, "No offense, but you've had a terrible year." And it made me so happy to think that she knows all about it, that we've talked that much. I think we've talked on the phone more this year than in the previous 10 years combined.

I've always wanted a close relationship with her, and am so grateful that we had it this year, even if it changes back again.
 

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MOTM Dec 2012
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A couple days ago, I moved to a new apartment. It's a bit bigger and cleaner than my old apartment and I feel like everything is as it should be. Although I have a gnawing feeling that this good feeling won't last very long....in any case, positive vent.
 

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Great idea for a thread man!

I went on a date to the Second Cup coffee shop with my new girlfriend last night and it was a very nice evening. I am so happy and giddy when I spend time with her. So far things are going great in the relationship. I am falling in love with her. It's awesome to be with someone after being single for so long and for most of my life.
 

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This should be stickied! INFPs need more positivity in their lives :)

Anyway, I have the last phase of my interview to be an SAT instructor today! I have to present some SAT questions so they can evaluate how well I teach. I spent a lot of time preparing for it, looking up the best ways to present different types of SAT questions and "teaching" the questions to my fiance so he could give me tips on how to improve my presentation. I also am using a notebook as a "blackboard" and I wrote key points from the questions there in Sharpie because I know lots of people are visual learners, so now I have two ways of presenting the questions to different types of learners. I really hope it goes well! I had to present an SAT question in the beginning of my interview process and I did well with that, but this will be the first time I'm presenting to actual people (the first time was a recording) who will give me feedback throughout the process.

It's pretty nerve-wracking because if I don't get this job, I will have to return to science and work as a lab tech. I probably wouldn't have much trouble finding a job as a lab tech (especially because I think my old supervisor at the lab where I worked for 3 summers is looking for one) but I wouldn't be advancing in my career and it's not what I want to do with my life. There aren't that many tutoring agencies around, especially if you want full-time or close to full-time work, and a lot of them won't hire you if you don't have much prior teaching experience. This tutoring agency is awesome because they will hire you if you are inexperienced but have potential, and they give you training and evaluations and stuff. Also you can do both one-on-one tutoring and teaching classes (if you do the training for each of them) and get qualified to teach a number of subjects through training, and you set your own schedule and you can teach at any location you want as long as you can find a class to sign up for. So I will be getting lots of teaching experience in a variety of things, and there's a great capacity for growth if you are committed and hardworking (which I definitely am).

I am really happy that I got to this point and it seems like they really want to hire me (they've gotten back to me about next steps within 24 hours of each part of the hiring process, most of the interview was the interviewer telling me what it's like to work there, and I randomly met someone who works there 2 weeks ago and he told me they have a shortage of teachers because they just added a bunch of new classes). So now I just have to hope it all goes well!
 

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MOTM June 2012
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I'm on vacation, and last night I went outside to watch the stars. I went back in to go to sleep because I wanted to watch the sunrise, but I had locked myself out. For six hours I meditated in the woods, listened to the gentle lapping of the waves, and the wind on the beach. I drifted in and out of sleep. It was cold, and I was scared at times because I heard noises and knew that bears and coyotes have been seen up here.

And then the stars started to dim, and on the horizon, the burning star rose out of the water, proud and majestic, it's glare through the trees. I heard the birds, and there was the waves and the morning and I was at peace.
 

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Spent all day hanging out with my friend C., my friend S., C's boyfriend and two of C's friends. We had a picnic on the Great Lawn in Central Park and hung out there for 7 hours playing Frisbee/volleyball and talking. We went out bar-hopping last night too. C. is leaving tomorrow for grad school on the other side of the country so this is the last time I will see her for months. S. already lives 1000 miles away and is just visiting for the week. It's sad that most of my friends are moving away, but I also am happy that they are following their dreams and that we have entered adulthood. These are the friends I came of age with in high school and college.

I'm also happy that we have the great memories of our time together this weekend, and during high school and college breaks. We have all been friends for 6-8 years, been through a lot together, helped each other out with a lot of problems and shared a lot of things. I just hope we can all continue to be friends even with distance, even though the character of our friendship will have to change.
 

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@ethylester

your story brought me to tears. I went through a similar experience - my pregnancy had complications that started at 6 weeks and I was given only a 50/50 chance of making it to term with my daughter. I will not share the entire story right now... maybe eventually, but as difficult as it was, it was filled with many positives, and nights spent in the hospital, and days and nights where my husband never left my side. It is truly amazing what love can bring us through, even the most frightening and life threatening of times :) Thank you so much for sharing your story :)
 

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This is a beautiful thread, thank you @JaySH

I have a pretty minor happy vent to share. My daughter lost her first tooth a week ago tonight. After she fell asleep, my husband and I gathered a bunch of dimes and made a pouch out of tissue paper to put them in. I tied it shut with a piece of pink ribbon and sprinkled pink glitter on it, then I snuck into her room and left it under her pillow in exchange for her tooth. In the morning, she brought the pouch to us, and seemed plenty content with her dimes, but not all that excited. However, when she was making her bed she shouted excitedly "the tooth fairy left fairy dust in my bed!" It made me so happy to be able to bring a bit of magic to her morning - it is so important to never lose that childlike awe, and I will look for every opportunity to help her embrace whimsy :)
 

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Well, I can say the best thing I've ever done for myself was start exercising and as much as I hate to admit it, my mom found the place. It's an extreme fitness/martial arts gym and I'm just hooked. It's made a huge difference in my physique and it gives me a rush that I love getting. Also my experience at warped tour 2013 with my friend Miles was definitely insane! I can easily say it was the highlight of my summer and I partied hard :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Yesterday I had so much cleaning to do...spent most of the day doing laundry, dishes, scrubbing the stove, etc. My 10 yr old was helping and, he tries hard. Been a busy couple weeks, as I work 6 days and had plans on the weekend so, I was a little behind. After lunch I said..."you want to go throw the football for a little bit...take a break?"

His face lit up. He was so excited....made me realize I should do that with him much more..but, instead of the guilt getting to me I enjoyed that he and I were doing it now...and, he was happy.

Wednesday I'm going to read the book he's writing...been waiting for him to get some done. I read the first couple pages and he's very creative. He's on his 3rd chapter now...20 pages in. He's ten so, I'll have to keep that in mind as I read. But, his imagination and creativity is amazing. I'll let you all know how it is coming...it's called "K.I.D" for "Kid Investigation Department"....I thought that was brilliant:)
 
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