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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I come to the conclusion, that I am an extremely selfish, possessive, greedy lover, capable of becoming belligerent and aggressive toward anything and anyone that makes moves on the person that I regard as "mine". I was not too long ago in a relationship with someone and I selfishly wanted them all to myself. our relationship did not end because of my selfishness well it did sorta, it ended because they wanted to get on all the rides and so I kicked their ass to the curb(not literally).

this is how I am. I`m very guarded on who I allow near my relationship and if anyone has a problem with that, they can go F*C$ themselves.

anyway, I was wondering if this attitude is shared my INFP`s :crazy:
 

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My girlfriend has exactly the same attitude (not so much the aggressive part but definitely the "f*ck off and quit trying to meddle" kind of thing when people impose their own ideas about how a relationship is "supposed" to go) although I don't know if she's INFP. She took the test a couple years ago and came out ENTJ, but now that I think about it though, she definitely acts a lot more like INFP.
 

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I think anyone is capable of feeling like people should back away from trying to steal their partner.
Though I do kind of think we have standards that are greedy as to wanting the whole package in one person, I think the healthy thing to do is to trust your partner to not stray.
Just be loving and stuff but if you can't trust your partner to deflect potential suitors coming in on them then whey aren't that loyal and the relationship wont work.
I like to think i'd give them the benefit of the doubt and if I found out they betrayed me well they're the shit person and I dont want to associate with them
 

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I'm kind of guilty of that, too. Well, I've never been in a relationship, but when I have a crush, I will do everything to be with him. During the end of class, I would pack my things up lighting fast so I can meet my crush outside so we can walk together to our lockers or somewhere. I get a bit jealous when he's with other girls too (even though my school is dominated with girls).

I mean, I've realized all that and I have loosened up a lot, but I can't help getting that hint of jealousy when my crush is with other girls.
 

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I feel that way too...doesn't everyone? :p
Yea, it's actually on of the few things I voice openly...I told my most recent bf that when we go out, I like it to just be me and him lol..no other girls.
However, I did understand when he needed alone time to workout or play soccer.
I think it's quite important for two people in a relationship to have separate identities.
So as long as you talk to your partner and have open communication, the feeling of needing to have total control of your partner should go away with time. Trust him/her.
 

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i'm only ever like this if i feel there is an unbalance between our affections.

if i feel i'm more interested in him than he is in me, holy shit. do i ever become a psycho.
mostly inwardly-directed tortures and such, i'm not usually super aggressive...

maybe super PASSIVE-aggressive, hahaha.
i'm awful.
 

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I am in a long distance relationship so I have no control whatsoever over what is happening, but then, neither has she. Both of us will simply have to trust each other not to stray.

Besides someone who needs watching is probably not worth watching in the first place. If you feel that you need to keep an eye on your partner to stop them from straying there is most definitely a trust or -other issue going on.
 

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Yeah, been in bit of similar situation.

I'm not into polygamic relationships, but my ex-girlfriend was. And that was eventurally real ender for the relationship, since the interests were in a big conflict. Also there was good dose of ol' cheating involved on her part. While I look that issue back in the past, I did the right thing by breaking up. But at that point, I was still in love of her and hoped that we would get back together again, no matter what happened.

Happy as hell we didn't get back together, but that was a wish back then during a shocking event of life. But oh boy, did I even tried to do it in any sensible way? Not at all. I've had this habit to become clingy and jealous when relationship becomes stormy. And experience have shown that a) it doesn't help b) it works by complete, utter reverse effect.

I've been on break from romantic relationships for some time, and pondered my tendencies on this matter. My aggression and sadness during the phase of acceptance was OK and acceptable. I've processed the past. There has still always been something in me that wants to "own" my partner, to have someone who exclusively supplies me with (romantic) love, and whom I can supply with love as well. But why that necessarily would be wrong?
 
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I'm having a hard time fighting with this attitude. My brain stops suddenly and I keep mesmerizing about it. Going through anger,sadness,acceptance, etc. Just trying to find "meanings" from what happened(why she talked, why that guy, why she does that why blablalblabla). I think its called an Fi-Ne loop? At the end of it, I don't feel well, but of course my girlfriend notices so then it's her turn to be angry at me or feel bad :S
I have no idea how to overcome this, although I keep trying Oo..
 

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I'll try to be nice here, but I would never date someone who felt this way toward me. I find it degrading. If they don't trust me, that's not my problem. That is something that person needs to work on. Maybe they've been abandoned or hurt in the past? It all stems from fear. Why wouldn't you trust someone who has not proven to be untrustworthy? You are projecting negativity onto them, your own insecurity. That isn't fair to them. If my husband tried to tell me that I couldn't be friends with my male friends anymore because he was jealous, I would say no. Love me or leave me. I would be incredibly insulted. He has no reason to be jealous and making me feel like the bad guy is not going to make me feel any closer to you. It's going to push me away.

Reversely, I would never say that he couldn't have female friends. Relationships are built on trust, not fear.
 

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god sounds exhausting for the other person...
my infp ex friend was like this, jealous over my other friends and my boyfriend. she kicked me to the curb for supposedly ignoring her, though to be honest, it wasn't ignoring seeing as it wasn't purposeful, I was just going about my business without her being the center of the universe. so you can imagine when she "kicked me to the curb" it wasn't much of a loss, she was juts punishing herself in my opinion. good riddance.
 

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You have trust issues and you need to work through them, otherwise your relationships will all be unhealthy. Personally, I have been on the receiving end of this and it was utterly miserable. The person I was with became jealous every time I spent time with any of my male friends, so my choices were to avoid my friends or gear up for a blow out argument or a week of cold shoulder every time I hung out with them. Ending that relationship was like leaving a prison. I felt the elation of freedom and relief after I no longer had to deal with that bullshit. Relationships are supposed to be about love, respect, mutual growth and friendship, not suspicion, fear and monopolization. If you don't try to reign in your negative feelings, the women that get into relationships with you are going to feel like I did when (not if) they end.
 
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