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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello! I am wondering if my husband can be an ESFJ, or if it doesnt fit the ESFJ. Any feedback is welcomed!

~He likes to give actual examples to prove a point as opposed to straight answers
~He wants to very much understand the world around him, and be prepared with information
~He is eager to please in our realtionship and helps those he cares about. If he doesnt respect you, he wont be tactful or helpful. If he does, he will give you the world. He doesnt like when people go too overboard helping others. He is afraid of being taken advantage of.
~He helps mainly by asking if he can give advice to solve their probs, giving choices of what You want to do, making someone feel comfortable and seeing what they need and giving tangible things to target those needs. He even offered to go to the airport with me when I had to pick someone up at 4am. He volunteers at a non profit and lended a close friend $300 on a whim. He is empathetic, but not sympathetic.
~He is fairly easygoing, unless someone has an opposing opinion. Then he will get into a scary raging arguement and refuse to be convinced. He will fight till the bitter end, using hard logic and sometimes may not even see the others perspective, or realize how hard he is coming on. He will be quick to apologoze when he finally sees that he hurt someone.
~He is optimistic. And enterprising. Used to sell businesses. Can easily see flaws in anything.
~He is very romantic in writing with me and by expressing affection, but its because he knows I like that, so thats why he does it.
~He likes to be better safe than sorry, but on the other hand, has an assertive, macho, spontanious and take risk side
~He cares deeply about people and will express it by helping and being loyal to them. He will say, that his heart goes out to someone who is less fortunate. He will do a lot for those he cares about.

~He will say whats on his mind, he says he is direct and straightfoward with people, but he will apologize if he sees he hurt someone. With me, if hes in the moment, and bringing up a deep or senstive topic, he will mull it over to make sure its Ok for me to hear-no chance of hurting me.
~He is afraid of real intimacy, will never talk about himself in an emotional way, and is uncomfortable with deep emotionally based conversations. He likes more surface level and bantering and having fun. Or debating ideas.
~He is objective, very skeptical, can be defensive, loves to debate, and plays devils advocate.
~He has a strong feeling side to him, but is uncomfy with negative emotions. He wont express them, unless it relates to feeling sad about someone close who passed away.
~He needs to have all the information and look at all bases before making a decision. He has a very playful, and flexible side to him and loves joking around with people and "catching" them in a trap.

~Hes close to his family and loves kids
~He is very tactful and wont even say anything negative with the people he wants to be supported by.
~He thinks he knows himself better and is more emotionally intuned than he really is. He isnt intropective at all. He "gets" others very well though. He isnt intropective and doesnt see why people should want to be understood.
~He is dutiful-he will get the job done, since he doesnt want to be fired or have a bad name. He loves his jobs, since it involves using creativity, improvisation and helping others.
~He is thick skinned, and doesnt get offended easily unless someone makes a false judgement against him.
~When I asked him if he is more emotional or logical, he said he is a technical guy. He makes decisions -while basing it on others ("I care about/dont want to hurt her") he will mainly use logic-"it sounds better"
~He has a side to him thats gentle, a great listener and will even open up about his feelings-but thats only if he strongly trusts you, and its in a vulnerable moment for him. Usually he is more forceful and not as authentic.
~He loves being around people and is energized by being around me-considers himself the social switchboard of his high school class and likes attention. He enjoys a fast pace and is enthusiatic, yet he can spend lots of time alone, or doing his own thing as well, and even be quiet if uncomfortable. Is very outgoing in a friendly, I wanna get to know you way. He is a good listener. He cares about his family a lot and wants to help them.
~He is very creative and doesnt like routine, he likes variety and with "work first, play later" can go either way. He has a goofy awkward "smart"aspect, but he is socially adept and mirrors others well.
~He is extremely tolerant of me and anything id do..very flexible and uncritical. He comes across as pretty feeling with me.
~On the "do what you are test" he answered mostly F answers, but that could be because he was with me and it sounded good..(answered tactful and truthful-not just truthful, is a people person over a facts person, takes people into account when making decisions not applying impersonal analysis, is merciful rather than just, and believes that its valid for others to have feelings)
~He is critical of people, mainly when they act stupid, but he will never degrade anyone. He is very smart, but not text smart.

Thanks for reading:happy:

32 Posts
Could be Idealist

I’m an ESFJ but my mom, brother, and two of my friends are Idealists, from the Keirsey personality test, which are ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, and INFP. What your describing sounds very much like an Idealist of some sort, not an ESFJ. I hope I helped :happy:
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