Thanks for all the responses and kind words, guys.
It's a really hard situation right now... I broke up with him because of his drug addiction. He's addicted to opiates, has been lying for over a year, saying he hasn't been using. I read a text in his phone a few nights ago and found out he was buying heroin. He had asked my friends for money that night, said it was for something else... Everything just adds up now. He was always "tired". He's just so numb from the drugs, I don't think he knows how much this hurts me because he is just so numb...
I love him... but his addiction is tearing me apart. It will always come first over our relationship. He will lie and steal and hide and deny to protect his habit, and it breaks my heart that there is nothing I can do about it.
I am so sorry to hear about this. I can only imagine how hard that must be for you to feel so betrayed. I think you made the right decision- it would have been unwise to stay in a relationship with him at this point in his life. You have every right to move on and find someone who will put you first. I know that is probably the last thing you want to hear, but it's true.
This likely won't help you now, but I hope that someday it will...
When I was in highschool, I had a boyfriend who I was absolutely enamored with. On a whim, with no warning, he left me and absolutely broke my heart. I was devastated. It took me months and months to deal with the pain and denial of our relationship being lost.
It was three months after he left me that I started dating another guy. I thought he was just a rebound. (Maybe he was!) Regardless, I fell in love with him. And right now he's sitting next to me, channel surfing, as my husband.
The reason I bring up this story is this- I never would have thought that my ex leaving me would be the situation that brought my husband and I together. In my devastation and brokenness, I never could have imagined that something better was on the way.
If I had ended up marrying my ex-boyfriend, as I likely would have, had he not left me, I would have found myself in a miserable, miserable marriage. I can only say that now, looking back at it. I couldn't possibly have seen that at the time, because I was so attached to him and so hurt by him leaving.
All this to say, I know you are hurting so badly, and I am so, so sorry for you. My wish for you is that you can find some sort of hope and peace, even if it comes months or years from now, in the hope that
something better is on the way. Whether that be rehabilitation for him and reconciliation for your relationship, or a new guy who can and will love you more than he ever would have.
Another song that popped into my head that you might find helpful-
Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet by Relient K