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I like people very much very quickly.
And also have problems getting out of relationships. So this is scary for me because I've never really been the one to end a relationship, or in this case, an almost relationship.

So my senior prom was last week and I had no date. My friend’s date said that his brother just got broken up with and didn’t have anyone to walk with (hopefully you know what i mean?) but I’d never talked to him before plus he’s only a freshman so I said no. Then I saw him there and he still had no one and neither did I, and I thought he was kind of cute, so I just told him I’d do it. And for the rest of the night he was like an unofficial date. He was really nice, slow danced with me, and we went to my friend’s after party thing and talked there.

Then the next day he told my friend that he liked me, and we started texting. This feels so ridiculous. Because this is 10 days later. I’ve known him like a week and a half. But we’ve talked all day every day about so much and known we like each other the whole time. He’s really sweet and an actually genuinely nice person.

But he’s a freshman, going to be a sophomore. I graduated last Friday. And there’s just times when I don’t know if it’s worth pursuing anything with him. His ex girlfriend told him she still loves him and that’s complicated even though they won’t get back together. He told me this, um, sex…kink…thing….that isn’t that bad but makes me feel awkward. He watches My Little Pony! Yeah, it’s to make his friend feel less alone watching it and it’s not a gross sexual thing for him, but he’s still a brony! And he just says weird things sometimes. Not in an inappropriate way, just kind of awkward.

So I told him yesterday that I don’t think I can do it anymore because I feel like it’s not going to work. I didn’t want to lead him on. I know I’m leaving for college after summer, and he’s just younger. But at the same time, my cousin got into a relationship as a freshman with a senior right before he left and they’re together 2 years later. So I don’t know.

I just regret saying that now. Because while there are things I dislike, I like him a lot, and I wanted to at least try being in a relationship. He’s been so nice, too. After I said that, he was just totally respectful and really nice, saying he wants me to talk to him if I ever am upset or anything. Today, he's been talking to me asking if he can help somehow. Which makes it that much worse. Like why can’t he be an asshole and make it easy to not want to be with him?

The idea of not talking to him anymore scares me. I wish I hadn’t said anything and had just waited to see if things would get better. Just convince me that it was not a mistake.
 

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Woah, Kristin!

You totally dodged a bullet, way to go. I identify with you SO much, here. I like people super fast, and I have a really hard time getting out of relationships--- it took me such a long time to be brave enough to admit, let alone put into motion, what I really wanted and needed when another person was involved.

Your gut instinct is always right. Always. When you ignore it, you will have regrets.

The doubts you're having now, those are obligations, guilt, second guessing. Just because someone else did something similar and it worked doesn't mean it's right for you.

Also, the fail safe? At the end of the day, if you guys are meant to be together, one little breakup won't stand in the way. Nothing will.

PLUS, do you think he'd want your pity? Something to think about. :happy:
 

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IMO. Break up the romance and sex, but keep the beautiful friendship. Talk to him about this very thing. From what you said, it looks promising that you will have a long-term friendship while respecting boundaries.

Oh, and congratulations on going to university. You will have lots of opportunities to make lasting friendships.
 

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Whoa whoa woow, you don't want someone who is a brony and a kink? You just made the mistake of your life, missy! That opportunity might never come back!

Aaaanyway, it is obvious that you have feelings for the guy, but you cannot weigh your feelings against your thoughts. For those interested, I think this is a wonderful example of an INFP being stuck in a FiTe-loop! Ehm, but perhaps not so fun for you obv...

To be perfectly honest, the negative traits you have stated about him really don't seem that severe to me, and it doesn't sound like they are to you either. Probably it might rather be your brain trying to make the "right" and painless decision by focusing on all the things that could be wrong, and thus you start wanting all the small things to seem awful to have a logical reason not to date him.
Granted, an age difference is often problematic and can lead to him not understanding your situation or come off as childish to you. I think my best advice is to tell him that you want to settle things down on the university before thinking about romance. A true brony would understand that. But then after some time, who knows, you could call him and see if you still have some feelings for him or if the seriousness of academia has flushed it all away. To me it seems logical as it is very hard to determine how your life will be in a few months and therefore that decision should wait.
 
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