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I was reading The Wisdom of Enneagram Riso and Hudson and found the following:

Sexual types tend to have difficulty pursuing their own projects or taking adequate care of themselves, because on a subconscious level, they are always looking outside themselves for the person or situation that will complete them. They are like a plug looking for a socket and can become obsessed with another if they feel they have found the right person for them. They may neglect important obligations, or even their own basic necessities, if they are swept up in someone or something that has captivated them.

The above is not Four specific and yet I can relate a great deal to it. These habits have got deeply ingrained in me.
 

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I can relate completely. I feel my sx sort of got detached from me before, like I was just handing it out, desperate for reciprocation and completion. I still have a hard time now with being a bit scattered in my focus but it's better.
 

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Sexual types tend to have difficulty pursuing their own projects or taking adequate care of themselves, because on a subconscious level, they are always looking outside themselves for the person or situation that will complete them. They are like a plug looking for a socket and can become obsessed with another if they feel they have found the right person for them. They may neglect important obligations, or even their own basic necessities, if they are swept up in someone or something that has captivated them.
The bolded x100.
 

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Well...

Writing my heart out for an imagined person/audience helps me get my feelings out and to thinking more rationally. It brings distance from the immediacy of surging emotions. I have to do that or I lose grip on my mind at times. I don't even need to find someone to become obsessed with to throw away my basic needs and obligations. Lately I fantasize about turning my bike into oncoming traffic or throwing myself onto the street and dragging my knuckles, face and knees until I can't hold in the need to scream anymore. I read sx/sp and 4w5 really reinforce each other and I believe that. My sp is fairly strong, but I think it may just help lead me to deliberately want to do risky, impulsive things to the detriment of my body and psyche. Lately, I encapsulate those feelings and fantasies into my writing and art rather than do them. It cages and releases them at the same time. I feel I can breathe a bit afterwards.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Well...

Writing for an imagined person/audience helps me get my feelings out and to thinking more rationally. It brings distance from the immediacy of surging emotions. I have to do that or I lose grip on my mind at times. I don't even need to find someone to become obsessed with to throw away my basic needs and obligations. Lately I fantasize about turning my bike into oncoming traffic or throwing myself onto the street and dragging my knuckles, face and knees until I can't hold in the need to scream anymore. I read sx/sp and 4w5 really reinforce each other and I believe that. My sp is fairly strong, but I think it may just help lead me to deliberately want to do risky, impulsive things to the detriment of my body and psyche. Lately, I encapsulate those feelings and fantasies into my writing rather than do them anymore. It cages them and releases them at the same time.
This forum induces weird envies into my mind. Purely mental envious feelings. I am thinking about reducing activity here.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I usually carry a book with me, a partially read book. I feel it completes me even if I rarely read the book that I move with. It even affects my mood what book I am carrying. I think about what book I will carry around. People in college used to talk about it - why is this fellow always with a book? Yesterday I read an essay by Orhan Pamuk in which he described doing something similar. I felt relieved, understood and not alone.

I also feel that I confuse being a type 4 with being a sexual instinct.
 
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