Personality Cafe banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
429 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I searched...couldn't find a thread...though this topic's probably been beaten to death...but I feel like shit right now so I'm gonna post it anyway 3:<

So....the University I'm going to next year has a semester-long seminar program for freshmen, and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be in it...because one of the courses is on the mind and consciousness and artificial intelligence and I could orgasm just thinking of all the potential interesting discussions that will be had...!

But alas...I haven't completed the application. And I've been "working" (read: not doing a damn thing) on it since February. It's fucking May. And I still haven't finished.

You know why? Because I'm afraid that I'm not good enough. That for some reason they'll read my essay on "why should you be in this course?" and think I'm not worthy enough, and that I shouldn't be in it, and I'm just so damn afraid that they won't let me in that I can't even submit the damn application.

This isn't the first time this has happened either. I've missed out on several good scholarships because "Oh, they won't like my application anyway, why should I bother?" And I really hate this persistent insecurity...it's not just on academic things like this, but this is the focus of it at the moment...

I told my boyfriend I needed to see a shrink. I wasn't fucking kidding -_-;

I'm trying not to burst into tears thinking about this horrible essay that I don't want to write...I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm a girl. Stupid hormones.

And I know that it's not even that big a deal...that I'm probably WAY overthinking this, and I know I write good essays and that I will most likely get in...but there's this STUPID little voice in my head that keeps telling me, "No you won't, so why even bother? You're not good enough, just give up now..."

I'm procrastinating because I feel insecure. Common INTP trait? (Pretty sure it is.) Any other INTPs feel like this? Have you gotten over yourself, and if so, how?

(off to...indulge in more masochistic torture...why can't I just write the damn essay and be done with it? gawd!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
702 Posts
Every time I don't procrastinate I end up with better results than most of the people, so no, it's not that(in my case at least).
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,168 Posts
I hate doing stuff like that, but if it is a hurdle I have to get over in order to do something I want to do, I get it done.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XO Skeleton

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,095 Posts
It helps me sometimes to:

- Shut down everything.
- Walk around the block thinking about how I will write the essay and preparing myself to write
- Start up again and write the essay.

I know what you mean about horrible procrastination. I'm taking classes atm and IMO procrastination is the only reason I am not currently a 4.0 student. I start thinking "I can live with a 3.5... I can live with a 3.2.... I can live with a 3.0.." Time management is everything in college.

I consider myself a 'procrastinating perfectionist'. That is to say that if it is not something that I feel is 100% effort, then I will put it off until 100% is possible. I am better now about not being so hard on myself. That is what it sounds like to me; you are being too hard on yourself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,520 Posts
I do that. It is an underlying fear of rejection, so I tend to avoid things that could potentially lead to that. Although sometimes I manage to make myself bite the bullet and go through with it.

And it's a freshman course, it's not like they're expecting a perfect paper.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
585 Posts
I think it is because you're a girl. I can't understand if you have enormous enthusiasm for a subject why would think you would not be good enough? You gain from the course, the course doesn't gain from you.

I have problems with procrastination because there's a demand on me. I can only look at the application and it becomes worse as the deadline grows near.

I failed my final year (due to various reasons) and I could not decide if I wanted to go or not. But I realise this is the greatest opportunity and kickstarter for success in life.

You need to take a different perspective. Just think about the potential opportunities for you on that course and see the opportunities on that paper and fill it in!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,677 Posts
My current, biggest form of procrastination is perfecting my study habits...

I think it is because you're a girl. I can't understand if you have enormous enthusiasm for a subject why would think you would not be good enough? You gain from the course, the course doesn't gain from you.
You're not serious, right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,187 Posts
Try talking about it with your boyfriend, or with a friend, and make them remind you about it until it's done. Establishing a deadline is a good thing too. The pressure might help you finish it.

I think it is because you're a girl.
Alert the scientists! The procrastination gene has been found!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
Yeah, I've definitely noticed I procrastinate more if I feel insecure. Especially if something large hangs in the balance. Sometimes I just haven't finish the task at all. I only filled out one college application. It wasn't until after I had gone to community college for several semesters that I, without problems, applied to transfer to a university. At that point I felt secure about my ability.

I would recommend having a friend, or your boyfriend, hold you accountable and set a deadline. Then have that person sit down with you and make you summit your application. Ultimately the only way your going to get past this is to keep forcing yourself to put yourself out there. I know because of my logical brain that someone telling me I'm great doesn't help me as much as having life experiences that I can look back on that support my ability. You can also start small and build up to this. Think about it as building a foundation, the little things might not be so exciting, but are often necessary to make higher goals accessible (or feel accessible)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,624 Posts
My current, biggest form of procrastination is perfecting my study habits...

Originally Posted by Empecinado said:
I think it is because you're a girl. I can't understand if you have enormous enthusiasm for a subject why would think you would not be good enough? You gain from the course, the course doesn't gain from you.
You're not serious, right?
There may be some relevance...

http://personalitycafe.com/general-psychology/43949-trouble-bright-girls.html
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
596 Posts
Laziness. But this laziness is a defense so I could not possible fail something. I'm scared to fail.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
820 Posts
I get very confused whenever I see an ellipsis followed by an exclamation mark.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,902 Posts
Yes. Yes, I think it is due to insecurity. When I don't know what I am doing, exactly, I go and do other things until I figure out or decide exactly what I want to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Try the Pomodoro Technique. :D
I hope it helps!

I think if INTP aren't procrastinating so much we would have accomplish so much more.
Then again, our procrastination activities are somewhat beneficial..
 

·
&#40656;&#32218; ~Chiseen~
Joined
·
5,240 Posts
One advantage us INTP's have in common is to take big things and chop it up into smaller segments and tackle them away methodically and complete them.

At times, big things may seem massive until broken into pieces. Solving something lingered by procrastination as an example, has to start somewhere. Except, can't turn back time. Even with more time, still not the answer.

I remember having to write essays I had no interest about, so I turned everything I wrote into an argument countering the topic at hand.

You will deal with this in real life as well. It's like an interview. I dislike having to boast about my skillsets but I have a vast knowledge of how things work. Will they apply to the job I'm applying for? It depends on what the job description and who they want there. They may ask the question of name three things you excel at and three negative things about yourself. Most people lie or exaggerate to get in.

Question then becomes, do you want to lie to get where you're at or be truthful? Identify the things they want to hear or read and concentrate on that. Be prepared for curveballs too if they ask you what such and such means if they pull you in to sit with you. Quite often second interviews are tie-breakers between other potential candidates.

If you fail and don't get in, no worries. Suck it in, move on. If you get in when you feel you shouldn't and some other person loses out, no worries. Suck it in, move on. The world moves on, with or without you. Not to mean it in a bad way, but this is reality. Think it through and you'll know how the game works. Life is all but a game. It's knowing how it works, the rules, bending it, and playing along that's what makes it fun and interesting.

Amount of effort you put in to figure it out depends on you and your limitations. Identify those and you can open possibilities. =) Insecurity isn't a bad thing. Just need to learn how to control it to your advantage. Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,199 Posts
I know this might sound crazy, but when ever I have some project to accomplish and I find myself in a sea of laziness with a lack of motivation, I've found that it helps if I clean my room. It clears my mind and as they say, "Out of sight, out of mind."

It also helps to go in steps when doing a project. I usually just buckle down (last minute of course) and do it all in one sitting forgetting to eat in the process. Sometimes, however, I like to take it easy and do a little bit here and there.

Hope this works for you and good luck. (Although luck is a term used for a powerless people. I'm not saying you're powerless, but good luck because it's something that is normally used by members of American society during these types of situations).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
569 Posts
I don't think that I do this. I procrastinate with some assignments (papers, mostly), but that's usually because I figure the longer that I wait the bigger the chance that we will discuss parts of the topic in-class, which will help me with the paper. I'm just trying to save time.

As for scholarships, the ones that I don't fill out I skip just because they're stupid. If the essay they want me to write is something like "Explain how balancing your checkbook allows you to lead a better life.", I just tear up the application and throw it away.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top