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Why does it seem to be in the Eight's nature to be self destructive?

I'm a smart girl. I know what kinds of things I should and shouldn't do, and what things I REALLY shouldn't do in excessive proportions. I don't hate myself. And yet, it's as if I'm magnetically drawn to do self-destructive things to the brink of my ability to handle them.

Example: I usually eat healthy, organic and bird-size amounts. Yet, frequently am drawn to down an entire bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos dipped in hot sauce while drinking booze and smoking cigarettes.

Why? And how can I get it out of my system before I kill myself?
 

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Self-destruct? It is in my nature to destroy everything. Myself and everything aorund me. I wouldn't change
this pattern. It is who I am. It is what I like. And if I want to change it I will change it.

It's like people who say tobacco is addictive. I've been smoking for over ten years. I smoke two packs a day.
But two years ago I put the cigarettes down. For six months I had an open pack of cigarettes on the table
infront of me but I never touched it. I didn't even consider touching it. I was set on becoming the best in my
field. When that plan failed because the government is a bunch of jackasses I went back to cigarettes because
I like it, not because I was addicted to it.

If there is no purpose in changing, why would you even care to change?

Find a purpose.
 

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Ok. yep. So you've conformed the notion that it's in the Eight's nature to be destructive. And congratulations on your strength of will to stop whenever you feel like it. But my original conversation pertains to WHY there's such a strong innate urge to self-destruct? I.e... subconscious, perhaps deeper underlying psychologies to be dealt with.

For those of us 8's who recognize the need to achieve more balance and sustainable healthy behaviors, how do we reconcile or find an outlet for those urges while still being "true to ourselves?" I am not actually addicted to any particular substance or anything, but I seem to be addicted to self-inflicted destruction or demise of one sort or another at any given time.
I tend to think only "in the moment." And while that can be temporarily "fun" or gratifying, it does take a toll on both my quality of life, and that of my loved ones.

So again, I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any insight into the ROOT of this tendency in Eights?
 

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It's a self-realisation I intend to miss.
 

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The Doer King
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Ok. yep. So you've conformed the notion that it's in the Eight's nature to be destructive. And congratulations on your strength of will to stop whenever you feel like it. But my original conversation pertains to WHY there's such a strong innate urge to self-destruct? I.e... subconscious, perhaps deeper underlying psychologies to be dealt with.

For those of us 8's who recognize the need to achieve more balance and sustainable healthy behaviors, how do we reconcile or find an outlet for those urges while still being "true to ourselves?" I am not actually addicted to any particular substance or anything, but I seem to be addicted to self-inflicted destruction or demise of one sort or another at any given time.
I tend to think only "in the moment." And while that can be temporarily "fun" or gratifying, it does take a toll on both my quality of life, and that of my loved ones.

So again, I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any insight into the ROOT of this tendency in Eights?
You were talking to a 6 (Sixes have different motivations for their behaviour) so it doesn't really confirm destructive nature. Yes maybe we are gluttons who tend to obsess on thing we like/want, but that isn't destructive. You said you eat healthy but sometimes binge. As long as you think you have a balance I don't find it destructive. You mentioned healthy behaviour, you should concentrate on that. The more healthy we are the less likely we will tend towards that type of thing. It may never go away completely but you won't be as "destructive".

We are creatures of desire, you can't change that but you can temper it.
 

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I've noticed this as more of an 8w7 trait than an 8w9 trait. I've read somewhere that 8w9s have more impulse control due to the "calmer" nine-wing, in contrast to the 7 wing.
 

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Why does it seem to be in the Eight's nature to be self destructive?

I'm a smart girl. I know what kinds of things I should and shouldn't do, and what things I REALLY shouldn't do in excessive proportions. I don't hate myself. And yet, it's as if I'm magnetically drawn to do self-destructive things to the brink of my ability to handle them.

Example: I usually eat healthy, organic and bird-size amounts. Yet, frequently am drawn to down an entire bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos dipped in hot sauce while drinking booze and smoking cigarettes.

Why? And how can I get it out of my system before I kill myself?
I am not sure if 8s have an inherently self-destructive streak. What you described in your post is not self-destructive behaviour. If you were to say that your diet consists mostly of Cheetos, booze and cigarettes and you rarely eat healthy organic foods then it could be considered self-destructive. For now, you can work on some impulse control and while it's not easy, it's not unachievable either. As Treebob pointed out, 8s are creatures of desire. I know I am extremely self-indulgent, and my attraction to food can easily be called lustful. In the impulse control department, I have been trying this: I try to be stricter with my diet, but once or twice a week, I let go and eat whatever I want, in whatever quantities I want. I have absolutely no guilt about how much I enjoy food and sex, but the sex is a whole another issue lol. When I feel like I have over-indulged, I just spend an extra hour running. It's possible to find ways to keep our indulgence from being harmful in the long run. Under stress or when angry, I tended to binge eat sometimes, but ever since I have become aware of this tendency, I have worked to distract myself with music, drinking water/some healthy low-cal, sugar-free drink, talking to a friend, and doing things I enjoy.
Don't worry too much. :happy:

p.s. I do not wish to sound preachy here. I notice that you smoke which is probably the only self-destructive part of the description. I want to be honest about my observation, so the only part that could kill you is the smoking and if you were to over consume alcohol. 8s can have a problem with substance abuse. It's just something to look into. I have regulated my consumption of wine in the last two years, because I had an obsessive love of wine and I didn't want it to develop into an unhealthy addiction.
 

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I figured, at the very least, this would somewhat depend on your wing and variant stackings. I have a lot of problems with this sort of thing. I always have. It's very hard for me to sacrifice immediate reward. If you're a 7 wing and sx first, I figure it's the hardest to deal with. What I've read deals with focusing on things, that return you to a healthy loop, but also working on refocusing that notorious will to controlling this behavior. I've also read, that eight's sometimes lie to themselves. I'm guilty of this. I'll use my nicotine habit as an example. I align right up with what I read, telling myself it's other people that can't quit when they want, that get cancer, etc. I tell myself I can stop, whenever I want, and that it takes forever to do serious damage to my health, and I can quit way before that happens. I do the same sort of thing with all my vices. What I read suggested coming to terms with the fact, that you aren't "above" or an "exception" to the negative effects of things.
 

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The Doer King
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I figured, at the very least, this would somewhat depend on your wing and variant stackings. I have a lot of problems with this sort of thing. I always have. It's very hard for me to sacrifice immediate reward. If you're a 7 wing and sx first, I figure it's the hardest to deal with. What I've read deals with focusing on things, that return you to a healthy loop, but also working on refocusing that notorious will to controlling this behavior. I've also read, that eight's sometimes lie to themselves. I'm guilty of this. I'll use my nicotine habit as an example. I align right up with what I read, telling myself it's other people that can't quit when they want, that get cancer, etc. I tell myself I can stop, whenever I want, and that it takes forever to do serious damage to my health, and I can quit way before that happens. I do the same sort of thing with all my vices. What I read suggested coming to terms with the fact, that you aren't "above" or an "exception" to the negative effects of things.
I don't lie to myself. I know I over eat and I should not do it.
 

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I went looking for the source (albeit briefly), but I couldn't turn it. Enneagram has been my focus for a while now, so I'll have to do some digging. However, lying to yourself may be a slightly inaccurate way to put it. It's more like thinking you're above the negative consequences of your indulgences. "I can drink all I want, and I'll never get addicted, because addiction is for the weak." That sort of thinking. It's probably far more applicable to maladaptive/unhealthy eights, looking for power and control over something they shouldn't, because they don't exercise those drives in healthy ways. And, everything I've come across and read about maladaptive and unhealthy eights, has been far more applicable to me, than anything regarding eights in a healthy state; hedonistic, violent, vengeful, vindictive, very bad temper, wages war with everyone to avoid vulnerability, etc.
 

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This is the reason I exercise such self control. I often feel an itch to lose myself in a world of violence, excess and destruction. Whenever I've mentioned this to someone they can't believe it since I seem like such a even tempered and calm person.

I haven't been able to figure out the reason, it could be that I actually yearn for anhilation or maybe it's a defense mechanism.
 
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