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The problem with your reasoning is that logical guidelines are all well and good, but since people are not logical, trying to follow or find logic in conversation will leave you even more baffled and uneasy.

The trick to 'loosening up', I think, is not wanting too much. Once you stop going after actual content (either sending or receiving), i.e. if the content doesn't have to have any meaning, it's much easier to just let it flow.
Of course, it's the letting go of meaning that's the hard part.
 
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