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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've noticed my ENFP friend gets quite tense especially in her neck and shoulders. I have a way of using my hands to make her body melt, and I can notice her energy and mood change drastically. She is less future-oriented and more present, relaxed, able to focus and engage me. When we spend long periods apart, she suffers from insomnia, says she has a hard time shutting off her mind.

Her mother is an ENFP and suffers from the same issues. She goes to a massage therapist frequently. Thinking back my ENTP friend probably suffered from the same.


I think it's a matter of too much going on in the mind, not paying enough attention to physical needs. Is this one way inferior introverted sensing manifests?

A few ENFP profiles claim they often suffer from muscle tension. Just wondering if any of you identify with this, and what you do to help yourselves.
 

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Well....its not something Ive ever worked on but yes, if I ever have a massage it really really hurts around my neck and shoulders because Im tense there and always am.....It might be something I should try and look into, having regular massages (ill add it to my list of things to do! lol!) :tongue:

As for the meantime, I think I could probably benefit from relaxation techniques, yoga/mediation or something but i've yet to dedicate enough time to it to sort it out, which is ridiculous, this is me, I really should be taking more care of that and less care over what 'could' be - After all, if I wear myself out the future could 'not' be....indeedy..

Thanks for this thought provoker....Mondays a new week!

Peace of pie x
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well....its not something Ive ever worked on but yes, if I ever have a massage it really really hurts around my neck and shoulders because Im tense there and always am
Weird. My friend has mentioned that before, about massages being painful. But she just melts when I touch her.

I think ENPs need a certain degree of psychological comfort and trust with the other person in order to relax physically.

Or perhaps it's the compatibility between two people, being able to sense what the other needs, as opposed to what you think they need.
 

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:( i want someone :crying:

I did have someone who wouldve done that too....I/ENFJ.....but oh my god, its all so messed up...i wonder if i ask for a massage it might sort everything out hahahaha
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?


Hugs :happy:
 

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I have the physical tension problem too, but I'm ENTP. Almost any kind of mental stress turns into physical tension and illness, and I'm trying to learn to relax. :\
 

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A big resounding YES... we seem to draw our tension inwards.... I remember going for a massage and the therapist was amazed I could function at all! seems my back and neck was a MASS of knots.... huge ones.

the new man in my life is great! he has been working on my back and neck and I am noticing a difference. I am delighted to say that I am enjoying it (even tho it is extremely painful while he works on me)...and that i am trying to relax more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Yes. Based on knowing both ENTPs and ENFPs, I think you both suffer from the same problems.

I think both types could greatly benefit from yoga, meditation, relaxation techniques, any kind of regular physical activity.

I'm actually just getting into yoga, more importantly meditation, as a way to quiet my mind from negative thoughts and stress. I find it comes natural to me, incredible for mental health.

There have been periods, most of my life actually, where I have seriously neglected myself. But I gotta keep it up for my own benefit, and to set an example for others.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I am delighted to say that I am enjoying it (even tho it is extremely painful while he works on me)...and that i am trying to relax more.
Try focusing on your breath. Very deeply. Make sure you aren't holding it as a response to what you perceive as pain.

A good therapist should be able to sense your breathing and be able to move it.

Rhythm is important :tongue:
 

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I think both types could greatly benefit from yoga, meditation, relaxation techniques, any kind of regular physical activity.

I'm actually just getting into yoga, more importantly meditation, as a way to quiet my mind from negative thoughts and stress. I find it comes natural to me, incredible for mental health.
I agree...I started in on yoga for two weeks last month. Not only was I in much less pain, my energy level skyrocketed (it was as if I was on 3 shots of expresso all the time o_O). A good reminder to get back to it...lol
 

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Try focusing on your breath. Very deeply. Make sure you aren't holding it as a response to what you perceive as pain.

A good therapist should be able to sense your breathing and be able to move it.

Rhythm is important :tongue:
well the new man is my new love... not a therapist, but his hands work miracles... so all is good.
I am learning to breathe through it and he is a wonderful lover ummmm I mean massager :tongue:
 

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Strange that we'd have this in common! But yes, I tend to get the most sore and tense in my shoulders and up by my neck. I sometimes have to stop and force myself to stop tensing up through there. No idea why.
 

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Yeah, if anyone ever goes to rub my back or shoulders, they immediately remark, "Relax! You're so tense." It's odd because I don't feel like I'm tensed up. Needless to say, I love massages.
 

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I relate and I do yoga. I refuse to be dependent on another person's touch in order to reduce tension. I'm my own healer. :tongue: I also run.

Yeah, thoughts go through my head quite a bit. While I run, I can think all I want without creating tension. Especially since coaches watch me and will tell me if I'm raising shoulders. Because of things like yoga and coaches, I'm more consciously aware of when I'm holding tension and will release it.

I believe my racing thoughts have more to do more with being a 6.
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Running is good. Yoga as well. Anything that makes you move with your breath will release tension. Can't be tense and breath deep at the same time.

Being self-sufficient is good. But we all have our weaknesses to work out.

Personally I'm prone to apathy. My ENFP friend and I are obviously quite different when it comes to feelings. Observing her feelings about things or experiences throughout the day is refreshing and amusing, she can't help but to feel. It makes me think about my own feelings.

When I say I'm prone to apathy, it's not because I don't feel, but that I allow rational thought to overpower, repress, and ultimately dismiss them in order to stay calm and practical.

That's fine to an extent with most things. But what about important matters, things that the heart should have a say in? She loves to ask me loaded questions but that puts me on the spot. So mostly she will just talk about things, not ask for my perspective directly, but she will observe my reaction, eyes and body language, and participation in the conversation. It's not so much about what I say, but more about what I don't say. What I keep inside.

She knows how to get inside me to figure out how I really feel. She can read my eyes and face like a book. But I'm learning to do the same with her. Like when she wants something to not bother her, I can tell when she's holding it back. So I hug her and squeeze it out.
 

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I would totally agree. If I ever find a single massage therapist that would like to date an ENFP, I will just go ahead and propose to him upfront XD! Relaxation, meditation, yoga, and all of that are good. As an ENFP I think the problem is you know, picking one solution and sticking to it...for me to continuously do something I have to be REALLY into it, or I will stop.
 

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And then there's "you know what" that always releases the tension. ISTPs are great at helping out this way.
 
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