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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
What's up with this? I've noticed a lot of my P/P relationships are largely based on where the ball is. Is it in your court? Oh then you are def attractive. Oh it's in the other person court? oh then they are attractive. This is kind of a general rule.... but it seems very emphasized in P/P relationships. Something about not being good enough for our partner seems to cause us to feel bad about ourselves and suddenly begin to put our partner on a pedistal... and here's the kicker.... they are then in control of our realities. The ball in the court of another person automatically gives them .... almost a J function.... in that they are in control..... and perhaps this is what causes us to be attracted to .....


class is out. gotta go. sorry for not finishing. might finish later. might not. i am perciever :crazy:


PS: edit: I meant NP's not all P's
 

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I don't think I put my partner up on a pedestal. Though, I am a bit guilty of the whole "ball in your/my court" thing. When it comes to dating, I typically always make the first move, and I like it that way. I like having the upper-hand in that area, not to mention it makes me feel more comfortable (and less intimidated) if I am the one to make the first move. However, if my "move" isn't reciprocated immediately, then it's left at that. I will not try again. The ball is in their court, but I'm not going to tell them again. Usually, if I don't see anything reciprocated within a week or two, I'm moving on, and it's VERY hard for me to get back to the whole "I want you. I have a crush on you" mode again.

Probably not what you were asking about, but that's just my little input. :tongue:

And, obviously I don't "type" everybody, so I have no idea what type the people are that I have dated; however, of those I've had a relationship with, the majority of them are J types. I find myself to usually do better with them.
 

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Makes me think of some stuff in pick-up artist literature I have read (and no lol I didn't read it to use it.. just to see wtf it is)..

Anyway, its pretty simple. If you act like you too good for someone then they might wonder why you believe it.. are you? And who wants in a club that lets just anyone in?

And a lot of people say that 'women are attracted to jerks' - not so much the truth.. but.. a lot of people are attracted to jerks for this simple reason. Its a challenge.. they must have something that everyone wants, that they can afford to be such an exclusive club.

I'm a jerk. I see it from this side of things too.:tongue:
 

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Being a J, it's not really my place to answer this question - but I will say that I definitely hate rejection. It makes me feel bad about myself, leaves me wondering where I went wrong, etc. This doesn't really mean that Ps are the opposite, but from a J standpoint, definitely dislike rejection. I'm not even sure if this has anything to do with my J at all though, just trying to go with your thought process.

I do know an INFJ who seems to be attracted to rejection though.. I don't know if "attracted" is the right word, but he sure seems to run into it a lot. I believe the last three girls he's gotten crushes on are all in relationships - something he knew from the beginning of knowing them. So maybe it doesn't have anything to do with being a P/J? Maybe it's something else? Or maybe this person is actually a P and we never knew. XD
 

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I'm a P and I hate rejection. It's a pride thing ... but I mean this more for other stuff, not romance. I've actually never been turned down (yet) when it comes to guys. :crazy:

But when I work really hard to study for an accounting test and fail it, or if I fail a job interview (it happened for the first time last week) ... I sort of despise myself for it. And it confirms that I'm not as awesome as I thought I was.

I failed two tests in two accounting classes last week. Time to start cheating again... I call it in-the-moment research.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
OH SORRY!!!!!!!! I meant NP's
 

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Being a J, it's not really my place to answer this question - but I will say that I definitely hate rejection. It makes me feel bad about myself, leaves me wondering where I went wrong, etc. This doesn't really mean that Ps are the opposite, but from a J standpoint, definitely dislike rejection. I'm not even sure if this has anything to do with my J at all though, just trying to go with your thought process.

I do know an INFJ who seems to be attracted to rejection though.. I don't know if "attracted" is the right word, but he sure seems to run into it a lot. I believe the last three girls he's gotten crushes on are all in relationships - something he knew from the beginning of knowing them. So maybe it doesn't have anything to do with being a P/J? Maybe it's something else? Or maybe this person is actually a P and we never knew. XD
I don't think it's about "liking" rejection as much as it is "being attracted" to it. We often want what we can't have, and that can express itself in relationships too. Now I don't know if J's seem to have the upper hand, but I've always thought they didn't. My INFJ friend gives a lot, too much maybe, and he ends up losing the ball. P's are often very guarded and less "out there" which, from my point of view, gives them the power.

Lullaby (ENFP) is very powerful, and I feel like she's the one holding our friendship together. I always question myself so I feel like people have the upper hand. I've had the "power" in relationships before and I thought it took away everything... when you can do what you want, nothing's fun anymore.

I'm rambling and that didn't make any sense.

Summary: Js seem like they have the power, but Ps actually have it.
 

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I think instead of an NP thing it's more of an NFP thing together, just let out with a certain aspect of "favorite" feeling? That's what I would guess in your case. I'm an NTP, and I don't think I've ever had that feeling in my life. I'm not attracted to rejection to that degree (if I ever am at all), and I'm sure at one point in my existence I've felt a trifle of that feeling, but never to that extent where I would put the other person way up high.Also, anytime someone would ask me "who do I look up to" or "who is my hero" it would be really tough to answer and I'd just give them some sort of cookie-cutter remark. I'm thinking the F plays a big role in this, and the NP in conjunction help to emphasize it.
 

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NP's are not preparers. they live life on a trial and error basis. they live life offensively rather than defensively. this kind of behavior is just normal NP behavior. it's not a matter of them being attracted to it.
 

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If someone is habitually attracted to rejection, then the person who is rejected often has a fear of intimacy. They don't want to be the one accused of leaving relationships, so they search for people who will end up rejecting them.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think instead of an NP thing it's more of an NFP thing together, just let out with a certain aspect of "favorite" feeling? That's what I would guess in your case. I'm an NTP, and I don't think I've ever had that feeling in my life. I'm not attracted to rejection to that degree (if I ever am at all), and I'm sure at one point in my existence I've felt a trifle of that feeling, but never to that extent where I would put the other person way up high.Also, anytime someone would ask me "who do I look up to" or "who is my hero" it would be really tough to answer and I'd just give them some sort of cookie-cutter remark. I'm thinking the F plays a big role in this, and the NP in conjunction help to emphasize it.
Didn't read the rest of your post but this definitely applies to intp's
 

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I'm a P and I hate rejection. It's a pride thing ... but I mean this more for other stuff, not romance. I've actually never been turned down (yet) when it comes to guys. :crazy:

But when I work really hard to study for an accounting test and fail it, or if I fail a job interview (it happened for the first time last week) ... I sort of despise myself for it. And it confirms that I'm not as awesome as I thought I was.

I failed two tests in two accounting classes last week. Time to start cheating again... I call it in-the-moment research.
"in -the-moment research" hahahah that is GREAT! im with ya though. I would hate to be rejected but ive actually never been rejected by a guy before. i imagine its a shitty feeling though.
 

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I think its just easier to see where you stand with a J. Either they like you or they dont. Its that clear. When your friends you know your friends with them, when your lovers you know this too.

With NPs sometimes I feel like they say they like me before they've actually decided whether they like me or not. Which makes things kind of tricky! They love to be flattered. NP guys (sometimes) seem to like thier egos stroked. Sometimes I feel like Im being tested by them. Its not the most relaxed environment for me.

NPs and the whole attraction to rejection thing I feel like stems from liking the chase too much. Its like a tug of war for affection. But if you pull too hard they might decide to let go of the rope and let you land on your ass.
 

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I think you're talking about push-pull and drama. It creates an artificial intensity that NFs might associate with intimacy. Hell yeah I've been through it. Maybe it's less likely for NFJs due to how they structure their behavior and plan ahead.
 

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My most recent ex was a ISFP, and I always put the ball in his court for some reason... and then he'd throw it back in mine. It was a very odd relationship. My boyfriend who is a ISTP.. well I'm pretty much always in control of our relationship. I wear the pants!

Funny side note... co-workers who are familiar with MBTI often tell me to "Keep your P in check!" my nick name is "P". Because they are all "J's" and rarely understand me.
 
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