Pushed Me Away - Now They Miss Me?

It could be all of the what ifs you say, or that they just want to gossip about you (hence the specificity).
Weigh the risks and do what you want.
though if you ask me the specificity is suspicious of them wanting to gossip
if you want to test the waters you could avoid answering as much as you can and question them instead so you can get some info about the group and if they are still all talking. If they are then probably they are having malicious intents and just wanna gossip, if they don't then you proceed accordingly

Nosy bastids is what they are. I wouldn't give them the time of day and would be wary of what I tell the visiting friend as well. They will probably try to use that person to get info on you if you're unwilling to be 'welcomed' into the fold again.

I agree. They want to gossip, to see where you have ended up, so that they can claim "I knew all along..."
Never trust an ex-friend. They are exes for good reason.

I agree with people who're saying that this is mostly from a desire to just gossip ... they may have good intentions, but I personally always question the motives of someone who wants to know about you behind your back from other sources.

If people genuinely care about someone, they try to get in touch with them directly and ask them personally instead of asking someone else. Whenever I've wanted to know how someone's really doing, I've sent them a DM or called them. This isn't 1900 where getting in touch with someone was almost impossible. All it takes is a click or two today and maybe 45 seconds if that.

I really feel for you OP; that must really suck. I've learned the hard way to be wary of some social groups and it they don't like you; it's really their loss for being so short-sighted.

All of your thoughts and feelings on the matter are valid and likely.

The choice is yours. If you decide to go for it and attempt re-connection, be prepared for ANY and ALL responses. Some of all of them may match some or all of your worries or hopes. It does not matter. What matters is how you let that truth affect you.

Realize that their choice is something they must live with. You have to live with your choices.

It is sad and frustrating when people limit themselves and essentially you as well with their horrible or wrong choices. I mean ... Capitalism and elitism still exist, yah know? You are in charge of what you feel, not them. Don't let them decide how you will feel, regardless of what they do or do not do.

Good luck!

Given your scenario, this is how I would deal...
I would not allow them back into my life, either. If a new friend tried to bridge the gap with the old friends, I wouldn't try to stop it. But... the ones that came around would find me to be cordial and that is all. There would be no closeness. They would get the message and would then leave me be. In my mind, there would be no more hurt by their shallowness. They are no longer allowed under my skin.


I personally don't think your perspective is wrong.

People make a lot of really bad decisions when they get upset, I don't think they would have extenuated their hands to you if they didn't see mutual benefit or quite possibly they assumed they messed up or need something from you.

What did you do to them