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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello I'm new to this forum and I just wanted to know if any other INFJ plays dumb. For example when I was younger and one of my friends (who was a girl) dropped her pad on the floor, I pretended I didnt see it fall. I turned my head as soon as I saw it fall out of her bag. (Mind you we were 13) but I mainly did it for her I didnt want her to feel embrassed. Then when she asked me if I saw what happen with a red face I said no. I know it was lying (which I hate), but I did it for her, but there is other things I do. Im very aware of what is going on around me, but I always pretend I'm not aware. Conversations between people, facial expression that some people do to each other letting the other one know to shut up and not say that around me. Stuff like this.

I just wanted to know if any other INFJ do this.
 

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Hello I'm new to this forum and I just wanted to know if any other INFJ plays dumb. For example when I was younger and one of my friends (who was a girl) dropped her pad on the floor, I pretended I didnt see it fall. I turned my head as soon as I saw it fall out of her bag. (Mind you we were 13) but I mainly did it for her I didnt want her to feel embrassed. Then when she asked me if I saw what happen with a red face I said no. I know it was lying (which I hate), but I did it for her, but there is other things I do. Im very aware of what is going on around me, but I always pretend I'm not aware. Conversations between people, facial expression that some people do to each other letting the other one know to shut up and not say that around me. Stuff like this.

I just wanted to know if any other INFJ do this.
I did a lot of really stupid stuff when I was younger. Maybe I did play dumb sometimes, but I won't do it anymore. I am brutally honest with people when I think it is necessary.
 

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I do this with my sister (@[email protected];; I think she is ENFP.
She is often talking in a language that only she knows. She also says the truth in an indirect way (like, a lie)
Using names, words, stories, thoughts that only exist in her mind and acting as if the people who she talks to knows them
I can understand her actually, but I figure she should explain to me in a 'better' way >_>
 

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Sometimes I play dumb to see if I can get more information about a situation from someone.

I will ignore things too just because I know the outcome would be bad if I acknowledged it. I do a lot of stuff similar to that... it just varies on the situation. Have to adjust and react certain ways to make sure the outcome is good.
 

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I sometimes play dumb to learn more about a persons character. Although that is rare, my friends and many people I've found actually do it. I suppose it is to avoid ridicule? Like to avoid looking like a fool for being wrong, they just make no attempt to solve anything or notice anything or whatever the situation is presenting.
 

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I do this ALL the time. I hate making people feel uncomfortable. And because I can't think of a way to acknowledge these kinds of things without making it extremely awkward.

I feel your pain.
 
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I do this all the time. When I used to teach new members of staff at my last job and I noticed a mistake I would wait a while before I say anything to see if they notice it and correct it themselves, but of course if they don't notice the mistake I will pick them up on it.
 

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Situations where I might play dumb:

1) To avoid being seen as too intelligent. Example: growing up where I was the smartest kid in my class... playing dumb meant people wouldn't ask me for answers, or try to cheat off of my tests.
2) To avoid a debate or confrontation about something. Example: person I am talking to keeps trying to engage me in a debate about a subject I know we disagree about (think politics, or religion).
3) White lies. Example: Where the truth would hurt someone's feelings. Usually there are tactful ways out of this but not always. The situation the OP gives is a good example of where everyone would feel more uncomfortable if the truth was said.

***Lastly, I think it sucks sometimes being so self-aware. I feel like I always notice things like 3 steps ahead of people... so it's a constant editting process whether I share these observations with the world. Boo.
 

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I play dumb all the time. But everybody knows I'm quite intelligent... So mainly it just aggrovates them. And suffice it to say, this is amusing to me. :)

I got this handy maxim from a fortune cookie once. It read:

"A wise man always acts like a fool."
 

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I play dumb all the time. But everybody knows I'm quite intelligent... So mainly it just aggrovates them. And suffice it to say, this is amusing to me. :)

I got this handy maxim from a fortune cookie once. It read:

"A wise man always acts like a fool."
and also the jay-z lyrics from 'takeover'...

"A wise man told me don't argue with fools. Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who."

words to live by :)
 

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I played dumb at school quite often, usually for the amusement of others. If they were laughing at me it gave someone else a break and the mood of the class was better all round.

Today I only act it to "prove" that little mistakes aren't noticed by everyone (in the case of embarrassment as in the OP) or to prove someone is lying when I suspect they are so I pretend to have not heard about an event to see if the story they tell me matches what I overheard them telling another.

In reality I am very observant visually and aurally but I don't intrude on conversations unless I hear of an opportunity to help someone (open plan office - any excuse to get away from my own dull work :crazy:) and don't act on embarrassing situations unless the person who did it can't quickly correct it. Have you ever seen the bottom fall out of a box full of sorted paper? It's not a pretty sight but happens to everyone, you just have to help although you know they feel a fool. It happens to everyone :laughing:
 

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It happens, hard habit to break. It's okay to be smarter then other people. your only slowing your self down.
 

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The only time I ever feel like I put on a show is if I have to move things in another direction.
it is very rare that I do this but I either show lots of intense and yet coldish anger, or restrain from speaking my mind to lessen the emotional atmosphere as often times I cannot handle the build ups of emotions within me.

all the pain we take in comes out eventually... I actaully often envy those who play a part,
maybe I just love the part I play so much that it feels like me sometimes, almost a part of me.
well. I think it is. and so are the bad parts, or what our society would see as bad.

I guess it's best to live int eh good parts but sometimes it upsets me when people get upset with me about espressing the bad parts to myself too.
I can't just be one happy thing ALL the time.

but do I prefer a state of happiness and would I rather maximize that state rather than the states of sorrow and pain I go through. yes I would. do I believe it can be done. yes I do.

crying is necessary sometimes, but I don't feel it ultimatly has to be forever present and even tied permanetly to the happy times. I think they are independent of each other. I hope at least...
I dunno if I play a part though.
I am not the best actor in the world. although I do love telling stories and impersonating people.
I often feel I am really good at knowing if OTHER people are playing dumb, or playing anything. almost to the point that I get really frickin angry and no one knows why I am that angry...
ugh...
whatever.
people are going to lie. and I guess they have their reasons...
 

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I often catch myself playing dumb, too.

Sometimes I'll be in a conversation with people, but I have the feeling they won't understand what I'm saying, so I don't hit them with anything too deep.

I also play dumb in class to lower standards so my abilities will be underestimated and I'll have less pressure on me.

I play dumb to avoid conflict. It's not exactly my first inclination to pin people down and have them really explain their viewpoints. I just feel like I'm being too aggressive. I also don't like it when people do the same to me. Sometimes I do it to diffuse tension. I'll back down from a point.

And lately I've been playing dumb a lot to gather more concrete evidence of a certain person's motives. By now I know what he wants, but then I figure if I'm annoying enough, he'll drop the subject and we can get back to the meeting of our minds rather than discussing the meeting of our anatomy.
 

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i won't play dumb or go so far to put on a show. I've seen people do this, and to me, it is painfully obvious when people act dumb or the complete opposite - when people try to act smart or act like they know shit.

At most, I will refuse to comment on something or keep discussion on a topic limited. However, I won't go out of my way to pretend I don't know or pretend I do know. I just exercise my right to be silent, whether it is something i know about or whether it is something i know nothing about. when I was younger, i would pretend not to know something like that embarrassing situation you mentioned, but when i got older, i dropped it. i know what i know, and i dont know what i dont know. more simple for me to think that way.

When it comes to people who try to act smart (when they are not), there is this quote: "It is better to let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and prove you are stupid." I think it goes both ways, including acting dumb. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are smart or know something, when you open your mouth and pretend not to know, you can come off as arrogant or deceptive (in my experience, this is what i have encountered when i acted this way). Better to just let things run its course or keep your silence. even though you may be playing dumb for the sake of someone else, really... anything you say can and will be used against you in social situations. So i've learned to just stay SHHH.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
From what I know most people actually think that I don't notice little things about them. In reality I know the little things and I can recall how there face expression looked and recite the whole conversation that I wasn't suppose to Iisten to. I really do not mean to come off as nosy because I'm not. Its just that I kinda like watching people interact. My ear just happen to catch what their saying.
 

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Same here^ It's sort of on auto-pilot. I take in what's going on around me even if I don't consciously decide to
 
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