[Wayfarer]

DISCLAIMER: If there are any similar threads, feel free to direct me to those, given that I have no idea how to label or refer to this problem.

Have you noticed or caught yourself frequently comparing yourself to an Ideal Self, or imagining the perfect manner in which an event will turn out, only to find reality fall short?

More and more, I've been noticing that I keep comparing myself to how I think I "should be", even those times I acknowledge that it's not rational or not possible/probable, given the circumstances.

I'm SICK of getting stuck in my head, becoming anxious, annoyed, frustrated, angry, and/or depressed (to name a few emotional states) when I don't match up against my vision of perfection.

Doubly so when other people sense and feel my hesitation, my angst, my discomfort, my discontentment from comparing them and/or myself to my ideals.

I realize that I've been doing this for a good chunk of my life. In conversations, when people ask about my hobbies or interests, I tend to pre-filter what I tell them based on my level of comfort/expertise in those areas and/or what I think the other person will find interesting (which amounts to pre-judging and filtering them).

e.g. In high school, aside from my small group of friends or fellow gamers, I never talking about any of the various facets of gaming I enjoyed, partly out of fear of being shunned, and partly because I thought no one would be interested in hearing about it. Granted, I'm still not very likely to talk about that with strangers.

A more apt example for me nowadays is playing the piano. I started learning about 1.5 months ago, and I don't feel I'm very good at it, regardless of what my mom says, nor the fact that I can play a few songs with both hands (there's the judging-myself-against-some-arbitrary-ideal schpiel). Therefore, when people ask what I'm up to outside of work and/or hobbies or interests, I generally don't bring it up. If I do, it's a simple "Sure, I started playing piano about a month and a half ago. I don't think I'm very good at it. <end topic>". Also, I tend to feel anxious even while talking about it, charging my statements with negative emotions, which I've noticed that people pick up on.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the topics themselves (correct me if I'm wrong :tongue. It's my attitude towards those topics and my conceptions of other peoples' thoughts towards those topics which result in my feeling anxious about them, and I'm aware that the people I'm with notice and feel my anxiety.

Once I become aware of it, I just want the anxiety/other (perceived) negative emotion to go away, which makes it linger even longer, and sometimes get stronger, leading to even more awkwardness / discomfort.

HELP!

HOW have you been able to (temporarily) stop projecting your ideals onto yourself and others? :angry:

- A frustrated INFP

 

[telepariah]

I have a question that I want to ask in all sincerity.

Are you certain these ideals you feel you are not satisfying are yours and not those of other people around you?

I say this because as much as I like to think that my mind is my own, I am powerfully influenced by the opinions of two people--my wife and my dad. The standards I tend to hold myself to are theirs more often than mine. The standards of mine that I know I fail to live up to all relate to following my own heart even if it causes lots of misunderstanding in my family. Believe me, I too feel that I fail to live up to any of the standards that govern my life. I've always struggled with it, and I am now 55 years old... still anxious about the judgement of my loved ones.

Of course, my situation may not be what you are experiencing at all. If it isn't relevant, please don't give it too much thought. When I was young, I did hide my musical abilities from almost everybody I knew outside of my family. Nobody... absolutely nobody I went to school with ever knew I played guitar. I have some natural talent, but I am not disciplined in practicing, so I think I suck and am terrified when I play in front of people. That part sounded very familiar. I do the same thing today with respect to writing. I think my writing is rubbish and I never let anybody see it.

 

[cloudcompeller]

I always have ideals and I'm a perfectionist. But I don't complain how bad I'm now or how imperfect I am. I believe that one success is 90% effort and 10% luck and a bit of intelligence. So, one should really have confidence in oneself and indeed, we are the writers of our future no matter how many uncertainites there might be.

I've awared that you might have society anxiety as you seems really mind how people look at you. One small test is that, do you get a little nervous when you get on a bus or a room fills with people? Though that feeling migh be momentary, they are symnptoms of society anxiety. The root of the problem is probably that you think you are too different from people, disclosing your true identity make result in mocks and laughs.

Sometimes, I don't understand why all the pessimism in this world. No matter what happens, life goes on. With our limited time, why don't just have a happy life?

 

[mimesis]

We tend to seek protection in perfection.

It's a defense strategy. But it can be self-defeating. Overcoming this is one of the challenges of INFP, because it can disconnect us from ourselves and even from others (when we project this perfectionism to others).

So in that sense, rather paradoxically, we can be a danger to ourselves, because we are so hard on ourselves. You need to find peace (feel safe) with yourself first, just as you are. Only then you can start thinking of how to improve yourself from there, setting (smaller) goals that are realistic and take a short(er) timespan. Succes is the best remedy. Take it easy, take it step by step.

 

[Geoffrey]

HOW have you been able to (temporarily) stop projecting your ideals onto yourself and others?

-----Some really great advice has already been given, so I am adding on to what's already been said.
-----I hear that you are frustrated, and that must be difficult for you. I encourage you to consider that an ideal is something that cannot be reached--if you are harshly judging yourself and others for not reaching it, then you are defeating the purposes of idealism! It's what happens when Fi is used to dominate all other cognitive functions. Instead, Fi is meant to lead--but not dominate--your other functions.
-----Try to think of your internal ideal as an aspiration--something you aspire to reach, but accept that you will never actually reach it--you aren't meant to. An internal ideal is meant to be like a rainbow--a powerful vision that urges us to seek after it. It is motivational. Our vision can and should take different forms--as each portion of our journey transforms us--and so the vision, too, must change in some ways to accommodate the change and remain inspirational.
-----If we try to create an unchanging, inflexible ideal, then instead of inspiring, it oppresses.--because such an "ideal" (not really an ideal at all) robs us of our journey of personal growth. You can't hang a garland and ornaments on a seed--or on a sprout. This would suffocate the sprout. Yes, envision the tree, but give it room to grow.
-----Finally, make sure your ideal is your ideal. Our parents, teachers, friends, and family nurture our growth, but at a certain point, it's time to stop leaning on the vision of others and take on the task of constructing our own ideals. This does not mean we should out-of-hand completely reject the ideals others have allowed us to borrow. Instead, it means using the process of self-analysis to determine which of those ideals you will ratify and accept as your own--and which you can with a thankful heart return to their original owners. This is the process of building a self separate from other selves: self-awareness. You, my friend, are now awake, so it is time to start that self-examination. If you do not take on this process consciously, then it will erupt unconsciously. The former is a more peaceful process--but peaceful or violent, the self will not be denied--and it will emerge.
-----Finally, you asked for some "how." The need to perform perfectly is self-defeating--it causes nothing to get completed--or even started. The need to be viewed as perfect leads to social anxiety. Neither of those situations is ideal--good--or even acceptable. The following page has some useful advice on "how": Counseling Center » Perfectionism. I also encourage you to seek out help from those trained to give it: counselors and therapists. View these people as experts in how to show others how to find their own way. I wish you well as you continue the journey.

 

[whoawhere]

I see what you mean. I think it's reasonable to restrict what you tell certain people about based on what they'll understand or what you're comfortable with. There's no need to be open and tell the truth to everybody. For a lot of people out there, conversation is more a way to discover people's weaknesses that they can exploit later. To be open with them would be giving away freely all the tools they need to do whatever they want to you.

 

[Wayfarer]

Thank you for taking the time to respond! roud:

@Mods: If it's an offence, forgive me for multiple posting, but I felt it made more sense to divvy up my ramblings into four posts, one per topic/idea.

For now, I'm just going to post some of my thoughts on the topic after having vented, shelved my questions for a few days, and let my own observations emerge.

I'll respond to your posts eventually (I hope...:laughing, unless I happen to answer them - even tangentially - in my wall o' text below.

-----------------

Limiting Belief(s)?
One thought that came to me was that these situations and these experiences could be the result of a limiting belief, something along the lines of "I'm not good enough." At this point, I consciously realize I feel there's some truth to this statement, even though rationally I know it's a lie.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so

So I'm aware of this negative belief I maintain about myself, I acknowledge that logically it doesn't make sense, since I created this belief 10-15+ years ago, and yet it's still there.

About a month ago, I had an internal struggle of my current versus my ideal personality.

More recently, it's been about specific activities:

• Introducing myself to people I don't know at work
• With the help of written and video instruction, teaching myself to play the piano
• Saying hi to a cute girl on the subway, or walking past me on the street
• As a man, being the lead when salsa dancing, even though I'm a beginner who doesn't know very many moves - which leads to me feeling self-conscious about my lack of knowledge, and some combination of bored/frustrated/angry/depressed, i.e. not mentally present and not much fun to dance with, even though I've been told my technique is pretty good (for a beginner - don't want to become arrogant

It boils down to fear and (social) anxiety that I've created by myself about myself.

Two potential solutions that popped into mind to address my limiting beliefs were:

• Cognitive behavoural therapy
• Hypnosis

Maybe one of those might be worth pursuing.

 

[Wayfarer]

Mismatched Values/Beliefs & Goals?
Another possibility, which was made aware to me when reading INFPblog, is that part of my angst could be a result of mismatched values/beliefs and the goals I would like to pursue, because of a disconnect between one set belonging to my emerging self, as Corin refers to it (I much prefer this term to "current self"), and the other to my ideal self.

That said, in my case, I feel there's some truth to this idea as well.

I still haven't taken the time, sat down, written down & ordered my beliefs and goals, but purely from thinking about it, here's what I've noticed.

As I currently am, Security is one of my highest values. Even though I'd LIKE to:

• Get to know (more) people and form a personal connection with them (Love and Connection)
• Find a more compelling job - preferably a non-9 to 5 office job (Contribution, Critical Significance, Growth, personal freedom - I HATE being shackled to the time and location jail that is traditional office jobs)
• Attain financial freedom (get to a point where I never HAVE TO work another day in my life - even though I'll likely choose to, because I think it'd be boring otherwise)
• 4

...none of these feel possible given my current attachment to security, to feeling safe.

All three of the above examples of goals that I sincerely want to achieve scare the crap out of me far more than staying where I am, working as a software developer on a fairly low salary (IMO), working a 9-to-6 office job with a one hour commute to and from work, more or less pissing my time away working because I find it "tolerable".

I'm paralyzed by my own fear.

Making changes - especially BIG CHANGES - scares the living daylights out of me. I've become aware of that about myself within the past three weeks or so.

I'm also aware of the concept of taking consistent baby steps over extended periods of time to get from point A (where you're at) --> point B (where you want to go), but even that freaks me out.

In this case, like Corin's article points out, and as I've noticed, there's a disconnect between what I want and what I currently value. Based on what I currently believe in and value, I'm NEVER going to get what I want!

So that raises the question:
Now that I realize this disconnect, what can I do about it? What steps can I take to pursue these dreams, given my deeply rooted attachment to safety/security, as well as my fear of change?

 

[Wayfarer]

Learn to consciously practice Se?
Another thought I had was that learning to consciously practice Se might help when my Ne goes racing off into the future, likely focusing on the negative outcomes.

Some outlets for doing so might be:

• Yoga
• Meditation
• Tai Chi
• Walking in nature
• Playing sports

Basically anything that brings you into the present.

My problem is that once my minds stops, it feels impossible to reel it in and step on the breaks.

Maybe improving and using my Se more often might help.

 

[Wayfarer]

Rather than change the fear, change one's perspective instead?

When reading an article about how thinking in a foreign language supposedly makes one's decisions more rational, one part of the article really stuck out to me.

In one famous example, Kahneman showed that, given the hypothetical option of saving 200 out of 600 lives, or taking a chance that would either save all 600 lives or none at all, people prefer to save the 200—yet when the problem is framed in terms of losing lives, many more people prefer the all-or-nothing chance rather than accept a guaranteed loss of 400 lives.

Holy ****! (Random tangent: what's the policy on swearing on PerC? I tend to do it occasionally, and so far have been censoring myself just in case.) I can see myself changing my decision in the above hypothetical situation depending on how the situation is phrased.

Maybe then, along that line of thought, there might be some way of changing my perspective about events to get me to focus on the positive. Using the above situation as an example, I currently take the "safe" way out (save 200 guaranteed) because my perceptions are based on not-losing.

If I could somehow change gears such that situations I currently fear - let's say asking a girl out for coffee - can be perceived in a sense as "I've already lost everything, so I have nothing to lose, and a potential friend, date, or girlfriend to gain.", then instead of worrying about everything that can and WILL go wrong, I might take action instead.

Maybe taking this a step further, what about creating a greater sense of fear for NOT talking to her in this simple example? i.e. If I DON'T talk to her and get to know her, what will I have lost? Maybe she could have been one of my soulmates (not in the sense that I'm lacking somehow and she completes me, but more of a we have amazing compatibility to the point where you feel you were destined to be with one another)! That is, if I could turn the **** I normally regret / obsess over AFTER the fact into a sufficient fear (motivator) beforehand, that might also motivate me to action.

I don't know if the latter would be healthy, using fear of loss as a motivator, but something to ponder nonetheless.

</walloftext>

Damn it feels nice to get that all down in writing!

 

[mimesis]

Rather than change the fear, change one's perspective instead?

When reading an article about how thinking in a foreign language supposedly makes one's decisions more rational, one part of the article really stuck out to me.


Holy ****! (Random tangent: what's the policy on swearing on PerC? I tend to do it occasionally, and so far have been censoring myself just in case.) I can see myself changing my decision in the above hypothetical situation depending on how the situation is phrased.

Maybe then, along that line of thought, there might be some way of changing my perspective about events to get me to focus on the positive. Using the above situation as an example, I currently take the "safe" way out (save 200 guaranteed) because my perceptions are based on not-losing.

If I could somehow change gears such that situations I currently fear - let's say asking a girl out for coffee - can be perceived in a sense as "I've already lost everything, so I have nothing to lose, and a potential friend, date, or girlfriend to gain.", then instead of worrying about everything that can and WILL go wrong, I might take action instead.

Maybe taking this a step further, what about creating a greater sense of fear for NOT talking to her in this simple example? i.e. If I DON'T talk to her and get to know her, what will I have lost? Maybe she could have been one of my soulmates (not in the sense that I'm lacking somehow and she completes me, but more of a we have amazing compatibility to the point where you feel you were destined to be with one another)! That is, if I could turn the **** I normally regret / obsess over AFTER the fact into a sufficient fear (motivator) beforehand, that might also motivate me to action.

I don't know if the latter would be healthy, using fear of loss as a motivator, but something to ponder nonetheless.

</walloftext>

Damn it feels nice to get that all down in writing!

I think it's good to write things down, to align your thoughts.
Meditation, yoga and tai chi are all good, since you like to salsa, I would set my bet on Tai Chi. You can think of doing some Mindfullness training aside.

Personally, I think it's our disconnect with 'nature' (or 'our' nature) that's causing the feeling of enstrangement, orphaned, unrooted, etc. and our behavior is defined by things that happened in the past, causing us to do things we wonder why we are doing it, even dislike it, but somehow can't seem to control it.

Hypnosis, Cognitive behavioral therapy and vipassanā meditation (chakra) all deal with this, more or less, from a different approach. It's a healing proces, where you revisit hurt from the past. Some of which you aren't even aware of. When something bad happens, you can deal with the experience in two ways, postulate or 'hangover'.

For instance, if you had ever had food-poisoning (I hope you don't), you probably don't ever want to eat that food again, or in that restaurant. 'Postulate' is understanding why something happened, putting it into perspective.

So the more you go back in time, the more likely to find events in your life that you didn't understand, just because you were too young. Perhaps you didn't even know if you should feel hurt or not, but somehow it didn't feel allright. So later in life, when a similar thing seems to happen, your mind starts to panic and tries to prevent it or avoid it. Even do something that may hurt another. Causing the other to react in a bad way. Becoming yet another traumatic event. (and so on...) Often we tend to forget our own bad behaviour and remember better the bad things that happened to us. Causing us not really learning (only blame others and not see what we did wrong, assuming that it was the right thing to do -which is a defense mechanism). Edit: Or 'learned helplessness', meaning the (false) belief you cannot control a situation, seeing yourself as a victim (which initially might be true, but it can become a coping strategy or defense mechanism that prevents you from learning or taking ownership of your actions).

With any of these therapies mentioned the basic idea is to go back to the root of the problem and 'redirect' or reprogram. I did meditation, and I can tell you, it's not a pleasant experience at all times to confront yourself with fears, shame, guilt, distress, hurt. (which can be why some people feel uneasy and choose to run away from it, because it damages their self-image, preferring a kind of self-deception, also a defense-mechanism)

So learning what caused pain in the past, and why, sometimes also involves becoming aware of your own bad or wrong behaviour (for instance being the actual cause of the event), the hurt you caused others, although you can forgive yourself when you can see why you did it (going back down the root). But you can also forgive the people that hurt you, because now you can understand better their shortcomings (or see/feel their hurt), just like you understand yours. You accept reality (of that part of the past). Now your mind is at ease, for this particular event/branche.

Also, when you have been food-poisoned, you don't want to eat it anymore, but that was just an incident really. Perhaps just bad luck. Or an awful amount of bad luck. So you just need to try it again, in stead of avoiding it. So, it's in part healing but also cleansing. The past no longer affects your future. Your trust in other people is restored or improved. You can think more positive.

But it requires a lot of elaboration. So there's not much time to think about girls (a relationship) for a while, or the shitty job. ;-) You need time for yourself. Become more aware of what you can offer, and what you need. And what you really want. )

I'd still start with Tai Chi, as it is a kind of choreography, you're already sitting down as a software developer, and it can also help you when walking around, to feel in balance. But give it time. Possibly the real fun, starts to 'kick in' only after one year, maybe two. But just the breath control, posture, focus will probably do you good, and learning yourself to relax and become at ease.

---- I thank Geoffrey for the great effort in making things that I said earlier so much more comprehensible and practicable. I tried to do a better job this time. But feel free nevertheless to ammend, nuance, put into perspective, or disagree.

 

[rheanne]

More and more, I've been noticing that I keep comparing myself to how I think I "should be", even those times I acknowledge that it's not rational or not possible/probable, given the circumstances.

I'm SICK of getting stuck in my head, becoming anxious, annoyed, frustrated, angry, and/or depressed (to name a few emotional states) when I don't match up against my vision of perfection.

This is a constant problem for me. I am constantly comparing myself to the way I was 10 years ago, physically and otherwise, even though I know it's completely impractical. I was young, fit, and single then, no kids and no responsibility. I laughed freely and gave myself no limitations on what my life could be. If I dreamed something, I went for it, and never understood why anyone wouldn't. Now I see pictures of myself back then and feel ashamed that I've let that person go. My body isn't what it used be, although I know it was never perfect, and considering I've had 3 kids things could be much worse, but still. I look at other women around me and feel like I've betrayed the old me somehow. I'm constantly thinking of ways to get back that person, but as it never sticks, I am constantly let down. I know that I have to stop comparing myself. It's just so hard to avoid...

 

[mimesis]

This is a constant problem for me. I am constantly comparing myself to the way I was 10 years ago, physically and otherwise, even though I know it's completely impractical. I was young, fit, and single then, no kids and no responsibility. I laughed freely and gave myself no limitations on what my life could be. If I dreamed something, I went for it, and never understood why anyone wouldn't. Now I see pictures of myself back then and feel ashamed that I've let that person go. My body isn't what it used be, although I know it was never perfect, and considering I've had 3 kids things could be much worse, but still. I look at other women around me and feel like I've betrayed the old me somehow. I'm constantly thinking of ways to get back that person, but as it never sticks, I am constantly let down. I know that I have to stop comparing myself. It's just so hard to avoid...

I always said to my (ex) girlfriend when she worried about her wrinkles, 'if you worry, you get worry wrinkles, if you're happy you get happy wrinkles'. Let the sun shine in, and you're as gorgeous as you've ever been.

 

[rheanne]

I always said to my (ex) girlfriend when she worried about her wrinkles, 'if you worry, you get worry wrinkles, if you're happy you get happy wrinkles'. Let the sun shine in, and you're as gorgeous as you've ever been.

Such a sweet response @mimesis. Sounds like you were a good (ex) boyfriend. Thanks for making me smile

 

[mimesis]

Such a sweet response @mimesis. Sounds like you were a good (ex) boyfriend. Thanks for making me smile

Now you make me smile! =)
We still love each other very much, so we are good ex-BF/GF as well.

 

[Wayfarer]

@rheanne @mimesis: Awww, now you two made me smile! roud:

I'll respond to your posts eventually (I hope...:laughing, unless I happen to answer them - even tangentially - in my wall o' text below.

Sorry, turns out I lied about replying to everyone. :blushed:

Note to self: Don't chain yourself to commitments unnecessarily.

I think it's good to write things down, to align your thoughts.
Meditation, yoga and tai chi are all good, since you like to salsa, I would set my bet on Tai Chi. You can think of doing some Mindfullness training aside.

Personally, I think it's our disconnect with 'nature' (or 'our' nature) that's causing the feeling of enstrangement, orphaned, unrooted, etc. and our behavior is defined by things that happened in the past, causing us to do things we wonder why we are doing it, even dislike it, but somehow can't seem to control it.

Hypnosis, Cognitive behavioral therapy and vipassanā meditation (chakra) all deal with this, more or less, from a different approach. It's a healing proces, where you revisit hurt from the past. Some of which you aren't even aware of. When something bad happens, you can deal with the experience in two ways, postulate or 'hangover'.

For instance, if you had ever had food-poisoning (I hope you don't), you probably don't ever want to eat that food again, or in that restaurant. 'Postulate' is understanding why something happened, putting it into perspective.

So the more you go back in time, the more likely to find events in your life that you didn't understand, just because you were too young. Perhaps you didn't even know if you should feel hurt or not, but somehow it didn't feel allright. So later in life, when a similar thing seems to happen, your mind starts to panic and tries to prevent it or avoid it. Even do something that may hurt another. Causing the other to react in a bad way. Becoming yet another traumatic event. (and so on...) Often we tend to forget our own bad behaviour and remember better the bad things that happened to us. Causing us not really learning (only blame others and not see what we did wrong, assuming that it was the right thing to do -which is a defense mechanism). Edit: Or 'learned helplessness', meaning the (false) belief you cannot control a situation, seeing yourself as a victim (which initially might be true, but it can become a coping strategy or defense mechanism that prevents you from learning or taking ownership of your actions).

With any of these therapies mentioned the basic idea is to go back to the root of the problem and 'redirect' or reprogram. I did meditation, and I can tell you, it's not a pleasant experience at all times to confront yourself with fears, shame, guilt, distress, hurt. (which can be why some people feel uneasy and choose to run away from it, because it damages their self-image, preferring a kind of self-deception, also a defense-mechanism)

So learning what caused pain in the past, and why, sometimes also involves becoming aware of your own bad or wrong behaviour (for instance being the actual cause of the event), the hurt you caused others, although you can forgive yourself when you can see why you did it (going back down the root). But you can also forgive the people that hurt you, because now you can understand better their shortcomings (or see/feel their hurt), just like you understand yours. You accept reality (of that part of the past). Now your mind is at ease, for this particular event/branche.

Also, when you have been food-poisoned, you don't want to eat it anymore, but that was just an incident really. Perhaps just bad luck. Or an awful amount of bad luck. So you just need to try it again, in stead of avoiding it. So, it's in part healing but also cleansing. The past no longer affects your future. Your trust in other people is restored or improved. You can think more positive.

But it requires a lot of elaboration. So there's not much time to think about girls (a relationship) for a while, or the shitty job. ;-) You need time for yourself. Become more aware of what you can offer, and what you need. And what you really want. )

I'd still start with Tai Chi, as it is a kind of choreography, you're already sitting down as a software developer, and it can also help you when walking around, to feel in balance. But give it time. Possibly the real fun, starts to 'kick in' only after one year, maybe two. But just the breath control, posture, focus will probably do you good, and learning yourself to relax and become at ease.

---- I thank Geoffrey for the great effort in making things that I said earlier so much more comprehensible and practicable. I tried to do a better job this time. But feel free nevertheless to ammend, nuance, put into perspective, or disagree.

Thank you for sharing.

I feel bad for the delayed response, but I haven't felt motivated to come back to this thread until now.

I'm curious as to how you got started in vipassanā meditation.

I wouldn't mind starting up Tai Chi again (I took beginner Taoist Tai Chi classes for about three months a few years back). It's just a matter of scheduling and showing up.

Recently, I've been feeling almost grounded in my visions and ideals, except on a much larger scale than "just me". In some way, shape, or form, I want to transform the world and create a brighter future, with more love, more unity, and less conflict. I have no idea as to the How, I just know that this is something I feel strongly about. Personally, I hate conflict, so maybe it'll be something to do with fostering love and harmony among people.

Food for thought: I wonder if we could shift the focus our idealism from ourselves and our more immediate surroundings to larger scale ideals that we feel passionate about; ideals which, when manifested, would have a resounding positive impact on even a tiny fraction of humanity.

Almost like channelling one's ideals from a more narrow scope (me, myself, my family, my friends, my co-workers, my community, etc.) to a larger scope (people suffering from depression; people wasting away because they hate their jobs, maybe even their lives, because they bought into the one-mold-fits-all mentality that society sells us; people starting, fighting in, and getting caught in wars).

I'm not quite sure I like the examples I gave for "larger scope" here, but I haven't really clarified for myself what I mean by that. I only have a vague idea about that, based on the idea of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

 

[mimesis]

@rheanne @mimesis: Awww, now you two made me smile! roud:


Sorry, turns out I lied about replying to everyone. :blushed:

Note to self: Don't chain yourself to commitments unnecessarily.


Thank you for sharing.

I feel bad for the delayed response, but I haven't felt motivated to come back to this thread until now.

I'm curious as to how you got started in vipassanā meditation.

I wouldn't mind starting up Tai Chi again (I took beginner Taoist Tai Chi classes for about three months a few years back). It's just a matter of scheduling and showing up.

Recently, I've been feeling almost grounded in my visions and ideals, except on a much larger scale than "just me". In some way, shape, or form, I want to transform the world and create a brighter future, with more love, more unity, and less conflict. I have no idea as to the How, I just know that this is something I feel strongly about. Personally, I hate conflict, so maybe it'll be something to do with fostering love and harmony among people.

Food for thought: I wonder if we could shift the focus our idealism from ourselves and our more immediate surroundings to larger scale ideals that we feel passionate about; ideals which, when manifested, would have a resounding positive impact on even a tiny fraction of humanity.

Almost like channelling one's ideals from a more narrow scope (me, myself, my family, my friends, my co-workers, my community, etc.) to a larger scope (people suffering from depression; people wasting away because they hate their jobs, maybe even their lives, because they bought into the one-mold-fits-all mentality that society sells us; people starting, fighting in, and getting caught in wars).

I'm not quite sure I like the examples I gave for "larger scope" here, but I haven't really clarified for myself what I mean by that. I only have a vague idea about that, based on the idea of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

I learned vipassanā meditation by intuition and practice, a lot especially in the beginning. Actually I didn't now it was vipassanā. @Luke did a crash course of 10 x 8 hours. It seems to me a good plan to first learn meditation, and then transform the world.

@rheanna is very good in motivational speech and peptalk, like a coach =)

 

[Wayfarer]

I learned vipassanā meditation by intuition and practice, a lot especially in the beginning. Actually I didn't now it was vipassanā. @Luke did a crash course of 10 x 8 hours. It seems to me a good plan to first learn meditation, and then transform the world.

@rheanna is very good in motivational speech and peptalk, like a coach =)

Hehe, pretty sage advice: search inwards and transform myself before looking outwards at the world.

 

[mimesis]

Hehe, pretty sage advice: search inwards and transform myself before looking outwards at the world.

Well, save the nicest bits for last. ;-)

 

[mimesis]

I'm curious as to how you got started in vipassanā meditation.

Have you checked if there is anything available in your area?