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Discussion Starter #1
Post your questions about dating INTPs, and dating -as- an INTP in this thread.

The INTP forum gets a lot of threads asking for advice on romantic relations with INTPs, and for advice on how to engage in romantic relations if you are an INTP. I have moved some of them to the advice section, but I don't particularly like moving threads out of type sub-fora, so I'm making this thread and stickying it for those who want to ask the intp forum these specific questions.

When someone posts a new thread of this nature and I don't catch it, any of you are more than welcome to post a link to this thread as a response to show them where their inquiry belongs.

It might be good to have all this information in one place anyway as a guide for newcomers with similar questions, so that people don't have to keep giving the same advice.

*If someone feels that their intp romance related question really needs its own thread, thats fine. This is just here to keep things organized more, and perhaps create a knowledge base for this topic all in one place.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Ok, so I have deleted the silly posts which were inevitable here ; P
But I really do want it to be a serious thread for those types of inquiries.

If anyone wants to contribute some serious advice for those posters in general (because intps just love talking about romance) then you're welcome to it.
 

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Okay, I'll just say something from my experience which I think might be helpful.

1. If you're an extrovert, be ready to make little adjustments and compromises. You might want to avoid this.

2. If we don't talk much or give you all the attention you seek, it does not mean that we aren't interested. If we aren't interested, you'd definitely know. I can't speak for the rest but I suck at pretending to be interested in a relationship.

3. If you're 'intelligent', knowledgeable (and other similar words), it is a bonus (Read: requirement). It's impossible for us to be stimulated (and hence, interested) if all you talk about is Gossip Girls, or something.

4. If you're an 'N', you probably have better chances than an 'S' but then again, that's generalizing too much.

5. We do have feelings. (OMG, IKR?)
 

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I agree, the motor skills don't really work well with out one :p
Well don't forget that you also need a heart to pump blood into that love struck brain.
 

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One tip that someone might find useful, but that is likely fairly obvious: Our frequent lack of emotional display is not a bad thing. Emotional displays come and go for us, and when we're not feeling it, it is very hard to be "out there" and demonstrative. Personally, being outward, personable, demonstrative, etc. makes me nervous when I'm not really feeling it. And even if I'm feeling it it can be hard to display.

I have had girlfriends tell me I was emotionally distant, I've had at least one girlfriend freak out about something totally neutral I said about how she looked in a shirt (she said it made her look fat, and I said something like "Well, don't wear it, then."), and then I've had girlfriends think I was "too" feely (when they do come out it can be intense and makes at least me feel insecure).

Ah... Basically, emotions can be tricky for INTPs. So, if you like us, bear with us in that regard.

Though, other INTPs may have no such problems... I don't know...
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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Who's butt hurt? Forgive me for upsetting you, it was merely an inquiry into what you meant...
You didn't upset me, or anything. I just didn't want other types to get all "Aaaah" about it when they read it. I didn't want THEM to get butt-hurt. Sorry for not explaining myself properly.
 

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This may be the only way for some of us to actually reveal our inner selves to others.

Alright, who's first? *scalpel ready in hand*
 

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How can an INTP stop themselves from trying to overanalyze everything about their partners, but conserve their own awareness?

Weird question, but I've had this problem way too much. :p
Try to remember that in the end they're just people, and don't really know what they're doing in their lives any more than you do. Maintaining a relationship isn't some intricate challenge dropped from above, it's a mutual effort. The other person probably shares many emotions and doubts with you, just perhaps less consciously. Sorry if this doesn't relate, but this is what I constantly remind myself to prevent death from paranoiac over-analysis.
 
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