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Hello Everyone,
I met on INTP online, we agreed on no relationship. We connected and we had sex, and we continue to have communication via text. We agreed that a FWB would be okay, and we are not exclusive. We have sex a few more times. Still communicating via text.




The texting has been maybe from once a day, to a few times a week, just random and not extensive amount. Things has been lay back, and this has been going on for about 7 months. Since the CoVid 19 we been texting to each other once a day. All of a sudden no text back after a few texts to him and it's been a week. I am confused. I haven't done anything nor have I ask for more than what was agreed. I am not sure what happen. I did say, "If I knew what I knew now I would have hugged him longer since last time I saw him was early January". I will admit I like him, but I understand our agreement. The only thing I have done is try to be his friend, the sex part was secondary. I give him space, and I am respectful. My last text was just to check up on him because I was concern, since he lived by himself, I know he was worried about his business and isolated because of the social distance thing. I had a person whom I knew just killed themselves just this last weekend due to depression and isolation. I didn't share that part with my INTP. I just want to make sure he was okay. Sometimes I get a feeling that he is stressed and depressed. I really do care about him, but he never text me back to let me know if he was okay. I just don't get it. (PS sorry about the grammar and spelling)
You sound super attached to him, way beyond what's normal for a friend. Clingy even.
Still there's not enough context for me to know what it could be. Maybe he's sick, maybe he picked up on the neediness and it put him off, maybe he just needs the distance .

Whatever the reason, he doesn't wanna talk,so do something about your excess attachment in the meantime before it bites you in the ass.
Lol, i agree with @Necrofantasia. Maybe he have something important so he need to focus. Just tell him that you’re worry with him and ask his condition. Don’t ask question more that that, unless he tells you. It’s the best support for INTP who in trouble or focus on something. Good luck!
 

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Lol, i agree with @Necrofantasia. Maybe he have something important so he need to focus. Just tell him that you’re worry with him and ask his condition. Don’t ask question more that that, unless he tells you. It’s the best support for INTP who in trouble or focus on something. Good luck!

Thank you Necrofantasia and monkeydragon for both your honesty! I needed that...ugh clingy/excess. I am better than that. I think being in lock-down, and dealing with the suicide I am bit out of sorts. Prior to this forum I've already texted him to check on his condition. I am sure he is focus on his business and getting the stimulus loan. I'm backing off, and at this point I don't want to send another text. I want to give him space. He can text me when he's ready. I really appreciate your feedback.
 

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Okay, I'm going to apologise in advance for the angsty crush post, but I've been second guessing myself a tonnn and an outside opinion would be really nice right now.

So I've known this INTP for about two years. We became relatively close friends about a year ago, and I started liking him around December. Since the quarantine started, we've become a LOT closer at a surprising speed. (Before, he might have been in my top seven friends- now, he's easily in my top three.) We had two four hour phone calls last week (I offered both times, but both times he seemed disappointed when we had to hang up and would try to extend the conversation a little), plus we've had a number of text conversations debating things or sending each other memes. He gave me permission to vent to him the other day, and after letting me ramble for a few minutes, asked if memes would help and proceeded to do his best to calm me down through internet culture lol.

Honestly, I shouldn't be second guessing myself as much as I am, because at the very least I think we're obviously good friends, but I guess I'm struggling to tell whether we're just really good friends or if there's something more. There's been no obvious flirting, but I know flirting isn't generally the strong suit of an INTP. I'm planning to see if I can talk to him about it today or tomorrow, just because I'm sick of not knowing, but I want to make sure I don't do anything to screw up the friendship at all, so if anybody thinks that telling him is a horrible idea, please let me know.

Thanks, guys!
 

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Any update on that? Just wondering.

Generally speaking, it's about the emotional freedom for us. If we feel like we can freely express ourselves, and we're allowed to just be where we're at, it's fine.

So let's say you bring it up and find out he doesn't like you that way. If you're still cool with being friends after, nothing would change. he just needs to feel like he has the freedom to say yes (or no) without being forced in a direction.

I don't know if this is me personally or an INTP thing, but I also don't want to screw up my friendships when feelings get involved. If that is an INTP thing, your goals would align and it would go smoothly. I really value my friendships too.
 

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My intp is the best person I know, BUT he was on my side of the bed and stealing the cold side of my pillow and blanket after using his.

What can be done?
 

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He's certainly interested in stealing my cold side of the bed. Now I'm stuck trying to sleep on human I mean normal temperature bedding.....
 

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Hello INTPs!
INFP here. I'm interested in an INTP. I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me back. This was months ago. Things kept getting in the way so we only hung out once before this whole pandemic hit. I thought it wouldn't end up working out at all. But surprisingly, this thing kind of brought us closer together, as we ended up working together at his place (he lives by himself), since my apartment is noisy and we're telecommuting at the moment.

Initially he said relationships were hard for him, specifically cause he's an INTP. He said he didn't want to go on a date, cause that was a lot of pressure. He finally asked me out on a date, but we never got to go on a date, but we've hung out several times. Mostly us watching movies and working together. When we watch movies or work, we sometimes talk, but not always. We'll have lunch or dinner together, but we won't sit together or eat together, mostly cause he has no table lol. I eat on his couch and he eats at his desk. He also sucks at messaging. I'm always waiting for his reply, and then he'll reply with one word answers, or an emoji. I can't be the only one keeping the conversation flowing. So sometimes, I just stop replying. He sometimes will text back, but sometimes he won't.

Don't get me wrong, he does really sweet gestures at times, like he'll research a medical thing I've mentioned, and really try and help me ease my pain, or the symptoms. Or he'll cook for me, cause I suck at/ hate cooking. lmao He's given me a massage when I say my shoulders hurt, or he'll do silly things I ask him to do, that most guys would probably say no to. He's absolutely adorable, and I'm so enamored with him.

But sometimes, I just don't know what's going on in his mind. I noticed he has Tinder on his phone, cause I saw the app icon on his phone when he put his opened phone down once. I haven't seen any notifications for it, and I don't think it's proper to pry anymore than I sort of did already (by seeing his phone when it was opened). Anyways, that really bothers me, cause it seems I'm just his back up, although I don't think he would do that to me, and I don't know if he's had it for a while, and just didn't erase it. But I would never have a dating app once I'm invested in someone...

He is reserved and private about certain things, and it bothers me cause I want to know him better. I want us to have long talks about each other's lives, cause I really want to get to know him, but I feel we aren't going anywhere. He was starting to open up a bit more recently, so I started to think we could work, but then he goes back into his shell, and so do I. I don't want to end up getting hurt, I guess. I also hate to ask people things, as I feel I'm being nosy. I don't want him to think I'm prying too much into his life, but I am, cause I like him and want to know everything about him. lol

We haven't gotten physical, primarily because I haven't had my first kiss, and I have expectations for it ( I want it to be during the rain, not necessarily in the rain, and we live in a place that it doesn't always rain). I think he'd like for us to kiss at least, but I don't want to tell him about it, since it's such a irrational and sentimental thing. I also don't want to tell him, cause then he might want it to rain, or think oh it's raining, I get to kiss her. lol I still want it to be sort of natural. He's clearly very patient, and very understanding about me. I did mention to him I have never been on a date, and never really had a true boyfriend, especially not as an adult, but I don't think he knows how inexperienced I am with dating. We also have a huge age gap, however, he acts so young and childish, and looks super young, that you wouldn't notice our age difference. lol

Anyways, I don't even know what I'm hoping to accomplish by writing this. I guess I want some insight into an INTPs brain, other than his. It's hard for me to bring it up, cause I feel irrational, when he's supposed to be so logical and rational. We're not gonna be telecommuting pretty soon, meaning I won't see him everyday for work soon, so that means I can start distancing myself. I think once we go back into work, our relationship will fade. So should I just let it fizzle out, or should I be an adult and tell him I don't think this is gonna work out? Let him say his piece if he wants to?

I am always out and about with friends, or travelling, and he's a homebody, and has told me he doesn't like to meet new people, cause he gets anxious about new people. So it's bound to not work out, unless we try and make it work, but I don't know. I am willing to try, but to me he doesn't seem to be in it as much as I want... I think the issue is also me, I am an INFP and we have an ideal type in our mind, and he's not really it, but boy, I sure do like him. A LOT. I really want to make it work with him, but I'm tired of overthinking this whole thing, and losing sleep and my appetite over this. I also don't think it's fair to him to have to deal with me and my emotional mind. Anyways, sorry about the long emotional post. I did warn ya'll, I'm an INFP. LMAO

TLDR; INTP guy and me (INFP) like each other, but I feel he's very distant, and basically want to ghost him cause I don't like to be upfront or confront things and don't want to get anymore hurt at this point... Wow this sounds horrible. lol
 

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Sounds like he doesn't/won't/can't meet your needs, and maybe doesn't intend to have a relationship with you. You can just gracefully fade out of his life when the work from home thing is over.

The movies, cooking for you, etc., could mean you're a couple in his mind, or it could just mean friendship. If he wants to continue doing these things later, he needs to get up the nerve to invite you over, and it will be up to you to say yes or no.

If you really can't stand the suspense, or if you think you're stringing him along, be brave and have a talk with him.
 

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LOL Thank you for thinking it can be done gracefully. I sure hope so.

I can't stand the suspense, but it's only a bit more before we start working in our offices. I also don't think I'm stringing him along. If anything, I think he's stringing me along. But then again, who knows how he sees it. 🤷‍♀️
 

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What do you usually think of socially introverted ENTPs? So...based on the cognitive functions...Ne front.
What do you love or hate about entps, if anything? Where do you see issues (can be in similarities as well)?


I'm in a distant relationship with an INTP, but we're gonna meet up this August, for a tmi.
Our debates are the best. caugh though I'd wish he'd at least once admit when he's wrong caugh, which is often enough caugh.
 

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I have another question, my INTP (also my FWB) takes pictures of me on his Cell Phone every time we hang out. Should I feel weird about this, or should I just take it as a complement. Is this a normal thing with INTPs?
 

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I have no interest in photos. But a friend's father, who is INTP, is always taking photos of uninteresting (in my opinion) things and events.
 

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I've been online dating a guy for 2 weeks. I believe he's ISFP. We're both retired. He lives on a boat he restored, and prefers to anchor in inaccessible places. He sends me brief texts, and it's obvious that he is a decent, hardworking person who really loves nature. All this appeals to me. I have considered living on a boat before, but didn't want to do it on my own. I have fantasies of us having quiet life and enjoying the beauty of nature together.

I've read lots of info and personal accounts of INTP-ISFP relationships, and personality-wise I could see it working. I don't expect a lot from a relationship as long as the person is responsible and respectful. However, I have a few concerns.

1. We're maybe 4 hours apart (I'd have to take 3 ferries to meet him, or he'd have to come 100km/60mi in his boat). Since our texts are so brief, I'm afraid it would take us years to get to know each other well enough to consider living together.

2. We would be isolated on a small boat with no Internet most of the time. Hmm. INTP with no Internet?

3. He doesn't answer direct questions and seems to change the subject. Not in a devious way--I just can't follow his thought process. Maybe things would be better in person.

4. At one point he was on a more accessible island and said something about meeting me there. I said yes, but next thing I knew, he was back in the remote spot.

5. In one text I used the word "stupid" and he seemed to think I was calling him stupid--although he kind of changed the subject at the same time and I found it quite baffling. I tried to make a joke of it. He wrote "WHAT" and went silent for longer than usual. The next day he texted me as if nothing had happened.

Now he's asked if I want to come to the remote spot, but I don't want a repeat of #4. What are your INTP thoughts? Thank you.
 

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Okay, I'm going to apologise in advance for the angsty crush post, but I've been second guessing myself a tonnn and an outside opinion would be really nice right now.

So I've known this INTP for about two years. We became relatively close friends about a year ago, and I started liking him around December. Since the quarantine started, we've become a LOT closer at a surprising speed. (Before, he might have been in my top seven friends- now, he's easily in my top three.) We had two four hour phone calls last week (I offered both times, but both times he seemed disappointed when we had to hang up and would try to extend the conversation a little), plus we've had a number of text conversations debating things or sending each other memes. He gave me permission to vent to him the other day, and after letting me ramble for a few minutes, asked if memes would help and proceeded to do his best to calm me down through internet culture lol.

Honestly, I shouldn't be second guessing myself as much as I am, because at the very least I think we're obviously good friends, but I guess I'm struggling to tell whether we're just really good friends or if there's something more. There's been no obvious flirting, but I know flirting isn't generally the strong suit of an INTP. I'm planning to see if I can talk to him about it today or tomorrow, just because I'm sick of not knowing, but I want to make sure I don't do anything to screw up the friendship at all, so if anybody thinks that telling him is a horrible idea, please let me know.

Thanks, guys!
This sounds a lot like my INTP before we dated. We video chatted every day, and he would listen as I confided in him, and offer solutions, before, after a month of us chatting I asked "So, are we dating?" He said that he'd have eventually have asked me out, if I didn't make the first move and say something, but no telling how long that would have taken.

If how my INTP is, is typical of INTP men, you're probably gonna have to make the first move. If other INTP guys are like my love, though, once you're in that place where you're chatting on a regular basis and hitting it off, it should not be difficult at all to get him to like you in a romantic way, if he doesn't already, assuming, he's achieved a reasonable level of maturity.
 

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Hello INTPs!
INFP here. I'm interested in an INTP. I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me back. This was months ago. Things kept getting in the way so we only hung out once before this whole pandemic hit. I thought it wouldn't end up working out at all. But surprisingly, this thing kind of brought us closer together, as we ended up working together at his place (he lives by himself), since my apartment is noisy and we're telecommuting at the moment.

Initially he said relationships were hard for him, specifically cause he's an INTP. He said he didn't want to go on a date, cause that was a lot of pressure. He finally asked me out on a date, but we never got to go on a date, but we've hung out several times. Mostly us watching movies and working together. When we watch movies or work, we sometimes talk, but not always. We'll have lunch or dinner together, but we won't sit together or eat together, mostly cause he has no table lol. I eat on his couch and he eats at his desk. He also sucks at messaging. I'm always waiting for his reply, and then he'll reply with one word answers, or an emoji. I can't be the only one keeping the conversation flowing. So sometimes, I just stop replying. He sometimes will text back, but sometimes he won't.

Don't get me wrong, he does really sweet gestures at times, like he'll research a medical thing I've mentioned, and really try and help me ease my pain, or the symptoms. Or he'll cook for me, cause I suck at/ hate cooking. lmao He's given me a massage when I say my shoulders hurt, or he'll do silly things I ask him to do, that most guys would probably say no to. He's absolutely adorable, and I'm so enamored with him.

But sometimes, I just don't know what's going on in his mind. I noticed he has Tinder on his phone, cause I saw the app icon on his phone when he put his opened phone down once. I haven't seen any notifications for it, and I don't think it's proper to pry anymore than I sort of did already (by seeing his phone when it was opened). Anyways, that really bothers me, cause it seems I'm just his back up, although I don't think he would do that to me, and I don't know if he's had it for a while, and just didn't erase it. But I would never have a dating app once I'm invested in someone...

He is reserved and private about certain things, and it bothers me cause I want to know him better. I want us to have long talks about each other's lives, cause I really want to get to know him, but I feel we aren't going anywhere. He was starting to open up a bit more recently, so I started to think we could work, but then he goes back into his shell, and so do I. I don't want to end up getting hurt, I guess. I also hate to ask people things, as I feel I'm being nosy. I don't want him to think I'm prying too much into his life, but I am, cause I like him and want to know everything about him. lol

We haven't gotten physical, primarily because I haven't had my first kiss, and I have expectations for it ( I want it to be during the rain, not necessarily in the rain, and we live in a place that it doesn't always rain). I think he'd like for us to kiss at least, but I don't want to tell him about it, since it's such a irrational and sentimental thing. I also don't want to tell him, cause then he might want it to rain, or think oh it's raining, I get to kiss her. lol I still want it to be sort of natural. He's clearly very patient, and very understanding about me. I did mention to him I have never been on a date, and never really had a true boyfriend, especially not as an adult, but I don't think he knows how inexperienced I am with dating. We also have a huge age gap, however, he acts so young and childish, and looks super young, that you wouldn't notice our age difference. lol

Anyways, I don't even know what I'm hoping to accomplish by writing this. I guess I want some insight into an INTPs brain, other than his. It's hard for me to bring it up, cause I feel irrational, when he's supposed to be so logical and rational. We're not gonna be telecommuting pretty soon, meaning I won't see him everyday for work soon, so that means I can start distancing myself. I think once we go back into work, our relationship will fade. So should I just let it fizzle out, or should I be an adult and tell him I don't think this is gonna work out? Let him say his piece if he wants to?

I am always out and about with friends, or travelling, and he's a homebody, and has told me he doesn't like to meet new people, cause he gets anxious about new people. So it's bound to not work out, unless we try and make it work, but I don't know. I am willing to try, but to me he doesn't seem to be in it as much as I want... I think the issue is also me, I am an INFP and we have an ideal type in our mind, and he's not really it, but boy, I sure do like him. A LOT. I really want to make it work with him, but I'm tired of overthinking this whole thing, and losing sleep and my appetite over this. I also don't think it's fair to him to have to deal with me and my emotional mind. Anyways, sorry about the long emotional post. I did warn ya'll, I'm an INFP. LMAO

TLDR; INTP guy and me (INFP) like each other, but I feel he's very distant, and basically want to ghost him cause I don't like to be upfront or confront things and don't want to get anymore hurt at this point... Wow this sounds horrible. lol
I'll be honest, and I'm working on incomplete information so you can tell me if my assessment is inaccurate anywhere, but I get the impression that you're projecting a lot of your personal feelings onto the situation, but if he is a true to form INTP male, he's probably more or less clueless about a lot of what you feel, if you're not communicating all these feelings to him, clearly.
You say it's hard to bring up your feelings because your feelings are irrational, but that's okay. It's a good way to test out his maturity, because a mature thinking dominant person, has the understanding that sometimes feelings are irrational, and that's okay. If he's mature and has sound thinking, he'll understand that your feelings are valid. But, if you don't tell him your feelings, he has no information to work with. I think for introverts, especially for those who introvert feeling this can be difficult, because you end up being not aware of what you're not saying. The kind gestures he probably does, I'm guessing because you've expressed a desire for those things. I think, for very introverted men, actions are easy, but thinking of things to say in conversation, not so much. I mean, it varies from person to person, but struggling with the flow of conversation isn't merely an INTP or very introverted thing, it's also more common with men. My INTP struggles a lot with finding things to say/topics for conversations, as well. If you get him on a topic he's really interested in on a good day, he'll have a lot to say, but when he's tired, or if I'm discussing a topic he has less expertise on, he mostly just listens. I've noticed that If I discuss something he's not very familiar with, I automatically figure, he won't have much to say on it until he mulls over it for a while. Sometimes, I'll even ask him a question and when I see a particular look on his face I say "I'll get back to you on that another time."

TL DR;
I think anything regarding your personal feelings regarding your relationship are going to be things you're going to have to talk about pretty clearly. If he's a good guy, I think he'll listen, and give a lot of consideration to what you have to say, even if he doesn't have a verbal reply right away.
 

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I have another question, my INTP (also my FWB) takes pictures of me on his Cell Phone every time we hang out. Should I feel weird about this, or should I just take it as a complement. Is this a normal thing with INTPs?
That's a bit weird. I wouldn't think dark ends per se... could be he is just (1) collecting, (2) storing memories, (3) really into photography.
 

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I've been online dating a guy for 2 weeks. I believe he's ISFP. We're both retired. He lives on a boat he restored, and prefers to anchor in inaccessible places. He sends me brief texts, and it's obvious that he is a decent, hardworking person who really loves nature. All this appeals to me. I have considered living on a boat before, but didn't want to do it on my own. I have fantasies of us having quiet life and enjoying the beauty of nature together.

I've read lots of info and personal accounts of INTP-ISFP relationships, and personality-wise I could see it working. I don't expect a lot from a relationship as long as the person is responsible and respectful. However, I have a few concerns.

1. We're maybe 4 hours apart (I'd have to take 3 ferries to meet him, or he'd have to come 100km/60mi in his boat). Since our texts are so brief, I'm afraid it would take us years to get to know each other well enough to consider living together.

2. We would be isolated on a small boat with no Internet most of the time. Hmm. INTP with no Internet?

3. He doesn't answer direct questions and seems to change the subject. Not in a devious way--I just can't follow his thought process. Maybe things would be better in person.

4. At one point he was on a more accessible island and said something about meeting me there. I said yes, but next thing I knew, he was back in the remote spot.

5. In one text I used the word "stupid" and he seemed to think I was calling him stupid--although he kind of changed the subject at the same time and I found it quite baffling. I tried to make a joke of it. He wrote "WHAT" and went silent for longer than usual. The next day he texted me as if nothing had happened.

Now he's asked if I want to come to the remote spot, but I don't want a repeat of #4. What are your INTP thoughts? Thank you.
What kind of romantic fairy tale is this??
("I'd have to take 3 ferries to meet him" - I nearly spat out my coffee.)

As for the situation... Well, he seems a touch devious actually, and definitely outlandish (but that goes without saying). Which aren't reasons not to meet up by the way - though I would advise you to take the safe route on this one. Meet up at the central spot; if he really wants to see you, and his intentions are 100% 'honest,' it shouldn't be a problem for him to make that effort.
 

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Thanks so much @NipNip . I think it's mostly a communication problem. He writes short texts that leave out half of the thought, and then I fill in the blank (wrongly) or don't feel comfortable asking for clarification.

I hate phones, but we talked briefly on the phone last night. He suggested meeting at a specific halfway spot on a certain day, no ambiguity. I think when he suggested meeting there before, he meant "someday," not "tomorrow."

I'll have to work on my own communication skills. I think he just isn't good with the written word, and that we'll do better in person.
 
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