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Hey, I messaged the INTP asking him if we could 'meet up some time' and what he did was change the subject. I don't know if he even saw it as me showing interest in him, it was pretty vague but it seems kind of odd to just change a subject like that. Any ideas as to why he would do that? Does he just not want to or does he need more time to think about it? He kept up the conversation afterwards for the better part of the day (even though he wrote one sentence and I wrote five but I'm guessing that's normal to expect from small talk with an INTP)
am i missing something? lol
 

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Haha sorry! One sentence for every five I wrote in return, was what I meant to say. As in he replied with one sentence at a time. Imagine trying to keep conversing for a few hours only having made one full sentence.
In regards to your original question, I'd be cool if I were you for the time being. Keep to your interests because right now it's tough to say. He might've been preoccupied with whatever he was focused on, maybe he didn't want to say something before he had a chance to think about it, or it's entirely possible that he dodged it because he just wasn't interested. Not exactly sure how you worded your question in about you wanting to hang out with him but INTPs are fairly candid about their level of interest in something... much to the chagrin of an interested party.
 

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In regards to your original question, I'd be cool if I were you for the time being. Keep to your interests because right now it's tough to say. He might've been preoccupied with whatever he was focused on, maybe he didn't want to say something before he had a chance to think about it, or it's entirely possible that he dodged it because he just wasn't interested. Not exactly sure how you worded your question in about you wanting to hang out with him but INTPs are fairly candid about their level of interest in something... much to the chagrin of an interested party.
Thanks for your input, he actually brought up the subject again today (at one in the morning -.-) agreeing to hang out. So I guess I should take that as a good sign?
 

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Quick question.

I've heard INTPs appreciate directness, bluntness, clear signals... Does this transfer to flirtation as well? As in, you dislike the chase, the game, mystery, etc and prefer clear intentions, obvious interest, etc?
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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So I constantly have this dilemma....

Should anyone ask for opinion on purchasing a product, I usually ask them questions to narrow down selections be the categories have to do with color, cost, budget, special options included, coupons, target date of purchase, etc.

Should a person I have interest in ask for an opinion on purchasing a product, I go the extra mile with inner depth research and present findings.

On one hand, I want them to understand what they are getting themselves into. At the same time, I want to limit 'blame' should things not work out and it may reflect or direct towards me. In addition, I also want them to understand my mindset and how I work and do things.

In the end, quite often, when I present an ample amount of research with organized charts or sheets of comparison with pros/cons/cost benefit analysis, they look at it, takes them a bit to understand it.. but the initial response of 'oh wow... (wide eye)'... it's like '[them] what do i do with this?' kinda wordless reaction... but then as they look into it, they slowly piece together the understanding of the final draft of work i scrummage together.

The question becomes, how much information presented is 'too much' information. Reason being is because I've observed on a number of occasions that they are anxious or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data they haven't considered otherwise until I bring it up. Sometimes they appreciate the heads up, other times, it's out of scope that they don't want to do additional thinking and/or waste more time but rather want an almost immediate response due to timing.

Thoughts?
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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Quick question.

I've heard INTPs appreciate directness, bluntness, clear signals... Does this transfer to flirtation as well? As in, you dislike the chase, the game, mystery, etc and prefer clear intentions, obvious interest, etc?

Smack them, then hug them, then kiss them on the cheek, perhaps give a smirk or an eye wink, then leave without saying a word.

They will process this information for days.
 

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Quick question.

I've heard INTPs appreciate directness, bluntness, clear signals... Does this transfer to flirtation as well? As in, you dislike the chase, the game, mystery, etc and prefer clear intentions, obvious interest, etc?
I think you'll hear most of those things a lot, but the fact we're not getting clear signals a lot of the time is what is increasing the attraction level.
If its not easily categorized for me off the bat, I'm spending more time thinking and pondering about it or posting about it on here, and the fact that its driving me crazy means that whoever the mystery girl is, is having an effect on me.
What we think we want logically, doesn't necessarily always translate.
At least for me.
 

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Quick question.

I've heard INTPs appreciate directness, bluntness, clear signals... Does this transfer to flirtation as well? As in, you dislike the chase, the game, mystery, etc and prefer clear intentions, obvious interest, etc?

I've been thinking about this.

I prefer blunt signals, but like Iamtp said, perhaps I wouldn't have the same feelings afterwards.

I am in a situation where I'm not sure if she is sending a signal or not. It's driving me crazy. I just can't stop thinking about it. I fear that if I ask her directly I'll ruin the relationship because it would force her to tell me what she meant. Chances are she would rather say it meant nothing than to admit she did. I also fear that asking her would destroy the flirting ( in case she did mean to send clues) and therefore ruin the interesting part of establishing a relationship.

I think I'm just going to wait and see if she sends more clues my way. :unsure:
 

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So I constantly have this dilemma....

Should anyone ask for opinion on purchasing a product, I usually ask them questions to narrow down selections be the categories have to do with color, cost, budget, special options included, coupons, target date of purchase, etc.

Should a person I have interest in ask for an opinion on purchasing a product, I go the extra mile with inner depth research and present findings.

On one hand, I want them to understand what they are getting themselves into. At the same time, I want to limit 'blame' should things not work out and it may reflect or direct towards me. In addition, I also want them to understand my mindset and how I work and do things.

In the end, quite often, when I present an ample amount of research with organized charts or sheets of comparison with pros/cons/cost benefit analysis, they look at it, takes them a bit to understand it.. but the initial response of 'oh wow... (wide eye)'... it's like '[them] what do i do with this?' kinda wordless reaction... but then as they look into it, they slowly piece together the understanding of the final draft of work i scrummage together.

The question becomes, how much information presented is 'too much' information. Reason being is because I've observed on a number of occasions that they are anxious or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data they haven't considered otherwise until I bring it up. Sometimes they appreciate the heads up, other times, it's out of scope that they don't want to do additional thinking and/or waste more time but rather want an almost immediate response due to timing.

Thoughts?
I think there's an easy way to avoid giving too much info at once:

Give it in real-time.


Basically, if they ask, then make sure they're there with you when you start amassing information. Have them look over your shoulder, or chat with them in real time, make your list by the side but give them time to process. In the end, you can then summarize your findings, present them the data (along with their immediate feedback of what they deem most important and why), and then leave the choice to them, unless they ask you what you'd do. Since you value their personal input and wishes anyway, you may as well make it part of the info gathering and selection process.

Source: helping a fellow decide which gazebo to order along with half a dozen other dilemmas. Lol.
 

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I think you'll hear most of those things a lot, but the fact we're not getting clear signals a lot of the time is what is increasing the attraction level.
If its not easily categorized for me off the bat, I'm spending more time thinking and pondering about it or posting about it on here, and the fact that its driving me crazy means that whoever the mystery girl is, is having an effect on me.
What we think we want logically, doesn't necessarily always translate.
At least for me.
That's interesting to me. Maybe it's just my age and being "in the field" for so long but that game has become tiresome. If a woman sends mixed signals it's a turn-off... I have things I'm trying to accomplish and if it seems you don't know what you want... well, I'll pursue the woman that does.
 

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That's interesting to me. Maybe it's just my age and being "in the field" for so long but that game has become tiresome. If a woman sends mixed signals it's a turn-off... I have things I'm trying to accomplish and if it seems you don't know what you want... well, I'll pursue the woman that does.
I probably shouldn't have generalized preferences since every INTP is different. I have also been in the game a while and if I sense they are attracted to me before I feel it first, I'm usually turned off.
 

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I hate mixed signals. Often when I read advice for men on how to pick up women, like 'first show her interest, then start to ignore her and talk with some other woman'. Dude, that would either make me think he just want to impress as many women as he can in general and his conversation with me doesn't mean anything, or if done really clumsily it would piss me off.

Anyway, if I get 'mixed signals' for me it just means that either it was a misinterpretation from my side or that he changed his mind and I should forget about it.

I guess it may work better on people who are ambitious and like challenges or maybe on people with low self-esteem. Many of seducing tricks is just leeching on people's low self-esteem. Very low thing to do.
 

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I've been thinking about this.

I prefer blunt signals, but like Iamtp said, perhaps I wouldn't have the same feelings afterwards.

I am in a situation where I'm not sure if she is sending a signal or not. It's driving me crazy. I just can't stop thinking about it. I fear that if I ask her directly I'll ruin the relationship because it would force her to tell me what she meant. Chances are she would rather say it meant nothing than to admit she did. I also fear that asking her would destroy the flirting ( in case she did mean to send clues) and therefore ruin the interesting part of establishing a relationship.

I think I'm just going to wait and see if she sends more clues my way. :unsure:
Or show more attention and verify? I don't know how she's like, but if a guy don't pick up and start showing any interest, I would just simply move on and never look back. Totally friendzoned.
 

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I probably shouldn't have generalized preferences since every INTP is different. I have also been in the game a while and if I sense they are attracted to me before I feel it first, I'm usually turned off.
If a person is inclined to playing games before the relationship even starts what makes you think it's going to stop *after* it starts? Seriously, if you're lacking so much that the only way to keep someone interested is by head fucking them .. well.. do I really need to finish that thought?
 

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I hate mixed signals. Often when I read advice for men on how to pick up women, like 'first show her interest, then start to ignore her and talk with some other woman'. Dude, that would either make me think he just want to impress as many women as he can in general and his conversation with me doesn't mean anything, or if done really clumsily it would piss me off.

Anyway, if I get 'mixed signals' for me it just means that either it was a misinterpretation from my side or that he changed his mind and I should forget about it.

I guess it may work better on people who are ambitious and like challenges or maybe on people with low self-esteem. Many of seducing tricks is just leeching on people's low self-esteem. Very low thing to do.
It works on the average person. The operative word here being "average".
 

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Or show more attention and verify? I don't know how she's like, but if a guy don't pick up and start showing any interest, I would just simply move on and never look back. Totally friendzoned.
At the moment I can only send messages over FB. A problem is that she doesn't use it often, she is more on the extravert side (suspect ENFP). I sent her a message last night, I'm pretty sure I won't get a reply until at least tonight. I hate doing the flirting on FB but it's only until we (hopefully) establish something serious. Pretty much everything in my FB wall means something about her, if only she ventured a little she would clearly see the signs (sending clues it's a bad habit I have, to test people).
 

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If a person is inclined to playing games before the relationship even starts what makes you think it's going to stop *after* it starts? Seriously, if you're lacking so much that the only way to keep someone interested is by head fucking them .. well.. do I really need to finish that thought?
Huh? I'm talking about mutual flirting which I like. I don't see that as playing games, I see that as a completely normal way for two people to show interest in each other while gathering more information in the process.
Why does that mean that neither person has the ability to keep each other interested beyond that? That's a big leap from what I wrote.
 

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Huh? I'm talking about mutual flirting which I like. I don't see that as playing games, I see that as a completely normal way for two people to show interest in each other while gathering more information in the process.
Why does that mean that neither person has the ability to keep each other interested beyond that? That's a big leap from what I wrote.
Well there wasn't really anything said that we were talking about flirting. Even then, if I reciprocate a woman's flirt and than next day attempt to do the same and she doesn't reciprocate back... well, as I said, I move on because there is also one other thing I've learned - and sorry ladies if this is sexist but... a great deal of women like to flirt and tease simply because it's fun. It doesn't mean anything, they're not really interested, completely light hearted and the second you do it back and seem interested they do the cold shoulder thing. This phenomenon also serves as an explanation why some guys just don't react to "hints" or flirts. Unless you come out and say "Hey I like you" we really don't feel like trying to figure it out. In other words the flirting game that other females play sometimes ruins it for the women that are more sincere.

Gathering information means engaging the other person, engaging another person to learn more about them is showing interest. Does it necessarily qualify as romantic interest? I'm not sure but there is nonetheless still interest there. Now if she just doesn't reciprocate my flirting and also seems to care less about getting to know me, sorry friend, I have better things to do. I don't waste time with flighty women. So I stand by what I say pretty adamantly - if they're so lacking of any real depth that the only way to keep a person's initial interest in them is playing head games... that's a bad sign. If women like that keep you thinking... well, you'll have no shortage of women to think about.

And in retrospect there's no real "mixed signals" if there's mutual flirting going on, at least if it's consistent... mixed signals to me is her playing hot and cold, and if she's being cold while you're flirting with her, there's nothing mutual about it at that point. Needless to say I'm slightly confused.
 
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