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It completely depends on the INTJ but in general I rather enjoy engaging intellectual conversations with them about various topics. The majority of INTJ’s (that I know personally) can really pinpoint at which point my logic is being influenced by emotions and is therefore (possibly) faulty and/or needs elaboration/alteration.

Although I don’t always agree it can be very helpful to me in the sense that I need to verbalize my thoughts and feelings, make them tangible somehow and talking with INTJ’s has proven to be extremely useful in that pursuit.

Also; most INTJ’s I know have difficulties ‘reading’ me and will ask me questions like; “Why do you act like this in x-situation? How do you think about y-occurrence in your life?”, etc. These types of questions oblige me in way to ‘correctly’ formulate my answers (because if it doesn’t make sense, my INTJ friends will frown) allowing me to dissect my feelings and thoughts on the spot which almost always leads to insights (for me personally) regarding myself and the way I feel, behave, interact with others, etc. very useful in my quest of constant self- discovery, -confrontation and -growth.

The things they tend to like about me (in general) is that I can ‘feel’ what they are trying to explain in a very rational way and I can equally respond in their ‘own language’ using logic rather than feelings to provide them with a (hopefully useful) response. Most of my INTJ fiends therefor feel rather comfortable sharing their more ‘sensitive’ side with me, a sort of privilege in my opinion because I don’t see them doing that with many people.

My best friend (I’ve known since kindergarten) is an INTJ and even though she lives in France and I live in Belgium; we can always pick up right where we left. She told me that ‘she doesn’t always understand which demons I’m fighting’ but she respects me a lot and I her. Whenever she needs advice; I’m her gall. We don’t need many words; we pretty much understand each other and don’t force anything on one another which is something I value beyond anything else.

This kind of friendship has been very hard for me to establish with other types who tend to need more attention, affection, recognition, who are more outgoing, extraverted, etc. So; yeah I tend to get along with them just fine :)
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I get along fine with INTJs. Y'all seem to have a kind of strange respect for how we work, though y'all don't share in all of it.

Why do you ask?
As a probable INTJ I am curious about INFJs, the INTJ's feeling sibling. To me it's one of the most interesting of the types, if not the most interesting type of all types. The dominant Ni makes INTJs and INFJs similar in many respects, but because of their different judging functions they channel their Ni very differently. To me it has appeared that oftentimes this difference causes negative feelings between the two. An INFJ also said something similar to me once.
 

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Quite well, as long as feelings or sensitivity in life are not discussed in depth. Favouring intellectual chat and well reasoned conversation; at times though I do wish my INTJ dad would stop telling me about car mechanics and computer repairs when technical aspects do not keep my attention for too long, but what's one to do when around a think out loud type.
 

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For some odd reason I seem to attract them (or vice versa?) because 7 of my good friends tested as INTJs. They are great for conversations, especially if one wants to escape the shallow bullshit that one normally has to deal with. That being said, I find that prolonged encounters with them (like having one as a roommate last year) can be frustrating. Yes, I am generally a logical person (as are most INFJs) however their application of logic in EVERY situation irks me. You cannot objectively categorize and quantify everything that happens - life just doesn't work that way. Additionally, their tendency to not have very strong emotions can be quite disconcerting... sometimes I feel like I'm conversing with a robot. Like I said earlier, the majority of my close friends are INTJs, so while I did describe *what I perceive as* their shortcomings, I still much prefer their company over the vast majority of others.
 

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Additionally, their tendency to not have very strong emotions can be quite disconcerting... sometimes I feel like I'm conversing with a robot.
They have strong emotions....they just don't show them outwardly. It takes a lot of effort, and a long time of sifting through how they present themselves to the world in order to get down to where the emotions lie.

Or, that's been my experience.

I definitely envy the whole "not caring what other people think" thing that they have going on. It just doesn't even seem to factor into their calculations how such and such that they're talking to feels... well, unless they care about the person, and then it's a different story. They can be really sweet in their own way (don't tell them I told you that!), but it takes a bit of sifting to understand that it really is them being sweet, you know?
 

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I love INTJs, I can undrrstand them perfectly. Sometimes I don't undertand their silence and they are not that good at comunating but I have the most deepest conversation with them. My best friend male is INTJ and we can talk for hours and days without realizing it's veru natural. When they are in the "sweet mood" is soooo adorable. I mean, when everyonr says ENFPs are they perfect match I dont thik INTJs can talk with them in the same deep way they can talk with us. Its like they feel confortable let us know their world. Idk, I love you guys very much.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
It completely depends on the INTJ but in general I rather enjoy engaging intellectual conversations with them about various topics. The majority of INTJ’s (that I know personally) can really pinpoint at which point my logic is being influenced by emotions and is therefore (possibly) faulty and/or needs elaboration/alteration.

Although I don’t always agree it can be very helpful to me in the sense that I need to verbalize my thoughts and feelings, make them tangible somehow and talking with INTJ’s has proven to be extremely useful in that pursuit.

Also; most INTJ’s I know have difficulties ‘reading’ me and will ask me questions like; “Why do you act like this in x-situation? How do you think about y-occurrence in your life?”, etc. These types of questions oblige me in way to ‘correctly’ formulate my answers (because if it doesn’t make sense, my INTJ friends will frown) allowing me to dissect my feelings and thoughts on the spot which almost always leads to insights (for me personally) regarding myself and the way I feel, behave, interact with others, etc. very useful in my quest of constant self- discovery, -confrontation and -growth.


The things they tend to like about me (in general) is that I can ‘feel’ what they are trying to explain in a very rational way and I can equally respond in their ‘own language’ using logic rather than feelings to provide them with a (hopefully useful) response. Most of my INTJ fiends therefor feel rather comfortable sharing their more ‘sensitive’ side with me, a sort of privilege in my opinion because I don’t see them doing that with many people.


My best friend (I’ve known since kindergarten) is an INTJ and even though she lives in France and I live in Belgium; we can always pick up right where we left. She told me that ‘she doesn’t always understand which demons I’m fighting’ but she respects me a lot and I her. Whenever she needs advice; I’m her gall. We don’t need many words; we pretty much understand each other and don’t force anything on one another which is something I value beyond anything else.

This kind of friendship has been very hard for me to establish with other types who tend to need more attention, affection, recognition, who are more outgoing, extraverted, etc. So; yeah I tend to get along with them just fine :)
1. I can relate to this. When I argue with people I usually understand where they're coming from. People can be weird. They have a tendency to get frustrated in arguments that deal with their values, opinions, etc. where I make rational arguments, but when I explain why they get frustrated they calm down and sometimes even take a U-turn. It's as if pointing out the cognitive dissonance makes something tick inside their brain. From personal experience, you INFJs can be a bit too easy to interpret when it comes to this. :p

2. That is something I can relate to, too. I can deal with emotions and people in a sort of rational way, or when arguing, or something similar, which can be great, yet if someone wants a shoulder to cry on and all that jazz I become comparatively impotent. Apparently I have come with some of the best advice possible to my friends when they have been down.

3. It certainly would be a privilege for someone to have me share my emotions to them, except for the times when it's in the form of a polemic. :p If I can generalize based on your answer, INFJs seem very different from ENFJs in this respect. ENFJs can from my experience be way too pushy, and their understanding and subsequent handling of others' personal issues can be shallow and extroverted in a sense. I think extroverts in general are bad at understanding and dealing with introverts. Everything can be solved by becoming an extrovert.

As for the rest of your post, your friendship with the INTJ is very enviable.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
For some odd reason I seem to attract them (or vice versa?) because 7 of my good friends tested as INTJs. They are great for conversations, especially if one wants to escape the shallow bullshit that one normally has to deal with. That being said, I find that prolonged encounters with them (like having one as a roommate last year) can be frustrating. Yes, I am generally a logical person (as are most INFJs) however their application of logic in EVERY situation irks me. You cannot objectively categorize and quantify everything that happens - life just doesn't work that way. Additionally, their tendency to not have very strong emotions can be quite disconcerting... sometimes I feel like I'm conversing with a robot. Like I said earlier, the majority of my close friends are INTJs, so while I did describe *what I perceive as* their shortcomings, I still much prefer their company over the vast majority of others.
I'm guessing you're in your early twenties. This shortcoming of theirs might change when they mature and become more well-rounded individuals. Also, see Nicole Hobbs' post below.
 

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From personal experience, you INFJs can be a bit too easy to interpret when it comes to this. :p
I confess, I burnt a hole in the mattress. Yes, yes, it was me, I plead guilty!

That is something I can relate to, too. I can deal with emotions and people in a sort of rational way, or when arguing, or something similar, which can be great, yet if someone wants a shoulder to cry on and all that jazz I become comparatively impotent. Apparently I have come with some of the best advice possible to my friends when they have been down.
And that is exactly why I adore my INFJ friends! I don't need a shoulder to cry on, useless "poor-you's", *huuuuuugs* or people patronizing me *twitches at the thought of it*. I need to be understood by an intellectual sparring-partner who can provide me with useful input without emo-stuff (aka INTJ :)

If I can generalize based on your answer, INFJs seem very different from ENFJs in this respect. ENFJs can from my experience be way too pushy, and their understanding and subsequent handling of others' personal issues can be shallow and extroverted in a sense. I think extroverts in general are bad at understanding and dealing with introverts. Everything can be solved by becoming an extrovert.
I'm not going to go too deep into the ENFJ-thing (because I don't want to start ranting again) but recently I've had 2 very bad experiences with ENFJ's who indeed became very pushy, needy, overly emotional and manipulative. They both claimed they 'knew' me (which I cannot stand) and were mainly proving the opposite so... yes there is a difference (that I can tell from up-close and personal experience - please note I am not trying to generalize here based on a study of 2-3 people).

Anyway; thanks for your reply!
 

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i tend to like INTJs. especially if they have just the right amount of high introversion and book smarts wrapped up in a layer of sarcasm and snark.

also their bluntness, i mean honesty can be refreshing. just clear the bullshit from your path. they make great a logical battering ram in an argument, i mean conversation.

is someone being a loudmouthed douche bag and you just don't have the energy or forgot what you were going to say? just drop a spock on them!
 

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I usually get along with INTJs just fine. Sometimes their need to have solid facts does annoy me though. Likewise I'm sure my "trust your instincts!" approach has led to many a grey hair on the head of my INTJ acquaintances.
 

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My father is an INTJ so maybe the relationship I have with him would be different than one I'd have with a friend or co-worker. In general though I can say that we get each other. In a way, we have the same kind of mindset, although the factors affecting our choices may be different. He is very guarded but I understand things that he does without him having to say a word and I think that that's to my advantage because it allows me to know how to act or react to his behavior. We barely ever fight, and we have a special inexplicable connection, but when we do it's because we are both very stubborn and defensive, and our weaknesses clash.
 
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:p I only know of one INTJ in my life for sure. That's my brother. We don't always see eye to eye since he can be an instigator and I can be stubborn. He always about logic and doesn't care about things that don't benefit him. Then he tells me that I'm overly nice and should care less about somethings or that feelings make me weak. But we do care about each other and our arguments through out the years have lessened a lot. If I do have any other INTJs in my life, I'm sure I can get along with them. It just so happens that the INTJ I know of it my brother. And well siblings tend to fight. I suspect that one of my close friends is INTJ, I get along with her rather well, but I'm not positive whether she is INTJ or not.
 

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I seem to enjoy dialogue with INTJs on this site when I have it. Something about the shared Ni-dom seems to facilitate mutual learning opportunities. Don't know any INTJs in real life (that I'm aware of).
 

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i have a good INTJ friend who seems to respect the subtle difference between us. we both can be logical and technical with our thoughts and words, but i translate human motive and emotion changing people's perception to him. if you want to know the best video card to go with your PC, ask him, he can give multiple answers based on what criteria you present like price and what not.

i don't even want to say he makes intuitive leaps when problem solving or thinking, he makes logical leaps only. me i can tell when someone in his work has had a bad date over the weekend or the date was ok but is floundering after a few days. he is oblivious to it. i just look at how she handles her phone and i warn him "she is not fond of men right now, go easy with her, don't set off the landmine". he just says "INFJ mumbo-jumbo?" i say "yes". he'll say "ok". later on he will say, "remember the landmine in the 3rd row?" i'll say "yes", and he will say "you were right, she was a landmine, some dude made her explode." he has to figure out how this thing works, but does respect it
 

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I confess, I burnt a hole in the mattress. Yes, yes, it was me, I plead guilty!
Wowser, that was quick! Strange, as well. Ni-doms tend to be a bit slow in admitting things. INTJs, at least ... Well ... I am ... But just give me the benefit of doubt ... I know this ... Alright?

And that is exactly why I adore my INFJ friends! I don't need a shoulder to cry on, useless "poor-you's", *huuuuuugs* or people patronizing me *twitches at the thought of it*. I need to be understood by an intellectual sparring-partner who can provide me with useful input without emo-stuff (aka INTJ :)
I think that's a good thing. Crying and strong emotional reactions aren't always a bad thing, but one ought to do something about one's problems, too. The first--in itself not anything bad--without the last is tedious, however.

I'm not going to go too deep into the ENFJ-thing (because I don't want to start ranting again) but recently I've had 2 very bad experiences with ENFJ's who indeed became very pushy, needy, overly emotional and manipulative. They both claimed they 'knew' me (which I cannot stand) and were mainly proving the opposite so... yes there is a difference (that I can tell from up-close and personal experience - please note I am not trying to generalize here based on a study of 2-3 people).
My experience was similar albeit different. It was all the things mentioned, but it had more to do with how he thought I ought to be, which was something I strongly disagreed with. I'm not sure if it was much unpleasant as it was extremely annoying. Of course, I don't generalize based on this experience, but I would say introverts in general understand personal space and individuality much better than extroverts.

Anyway; thanks for your reply!
I thought I was the one asking the questions here, there is no need to thank me. It's the reverse: thank you.
 
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