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MOTM Nov 2009
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This is probably going to vary along gender/orientation lines, but I hope you find an accurate answer from any responses received.

For myself, affection is something that rarely happens - so, when it does, it can be quite nerve-wracking and awkward, and something I might even want to push down. If I am looking to pursue a relationship with someone, though, I tend to first look for their comfort level when it comes to such. Whereas I usually only share my thoughts when asked, I attempt to find places to share my thoughts without the other person asking. Comfort with my ideas is something that is very important to me, and I'm likely to back off if someone finds it odd or discourages my thoughts (the line drawn between debate and insulting, that is). The process is, essentially, revealing more of myself to the person without them asking - and if they seem to like me for me, then I'll likely be direct in the coming times and ask them.

I'm a bit young, but due to discomfort with openly admitting my feelings for something so personal, I definitely look for opportunities to just ask instead of go through the 'I like you, and this is why' thing.
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:
Being an INTJ I'm very reserved when it comes to emotion. I tend to use logic rather than feeling, even shutting down or repressing emotions that don't seem rational. So it's rare I'll 'have feelings' for anyone unless I'm sure that 1) they're what I'm looking for in a lover and 2) I believe they have at least a small amount of interest in me. If they just meet one of those two criteria I'm only very interested in them. Like Grey said, when I'm interested in a guy I voluntarily share more information than I otherwise would. (For example, when he asks how my day was I'd give him a little more of an answer than my usual, non-descript and evasive "fine"). I also notice I become a lot more extraverted, animated, and playful whenever he's around.
 

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Signs i like someone:

1) extremely quiet around that person but very attentive
2) willingness to be in social situations because that person is there
3) will answer any question posed by that person
4) take the person to the places i would normally go to get away from people
 

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When I was younger I would maybe insult them more (by this I mean clever teasing, but really it just boils down to insults:blushed:). Use more than yes/no answers, maybe answer the phone to them, give them more a coy glance rather than the imperious semi gaze.....maybe actually go out where they might be :shocked:(if I didn't have anything else on)

Now mostly I treat them as I treat anyone else. Give no real clues.
 

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For me.. I have to get to know you before I have any feelings for someone. there is only one person in this world that i care about and i am married to her. I have had a friend a few friends but lost them due to my job and me having to move around.

I guess the best/easiest sign that an INTJ likes you is that he or she is hanging out with you on a consistent basis.
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:

im an INTJ girl...if i am interested in a guy, i talk more often haha INTJs only talk when they feel it is necessary.

also, INTJs like to be alone.. we find comfort in solitude. so if an INTJ makes plan to hang out or whatever, then they are definitely interested in u in some way shape or form. making that effort is a bigger step than what most people would think. INTJs are perfectly content with sitting in their room reading personality forums on a saturday night lol ;)... but if they ask to hang out, thats a sure fire clue that something is happening there :)
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:
Nope. If an INTJ (at least one like me) likes you and decides to do something with it, he will make you know. You won't notice a thing until he decides you should know. And then he probably already knows if you feel the same. (he might be wrong though, this stuff isn't the INTJ's best area)
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:
meaning deep feelings?

i become more profound while choosing the words to speak aloud to this person, and am very straightforward showing unusual openness. But generally the problem with INTJ's i believe is, we expect reciprocity to be shown to us in an evident way, but at the same time we expect this not to be an overwhelming emotional response. We like it simple and sincere.
 

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Somehow I end up in the person's vicinity very frequently. I also stare at (I try to hide this) and generally focus my attention at the person. I formulate my sentences carefully and try to show my best sides.
I suppose I do not act overtly interested, though... Usually it's probably hardly noticeable.

If I already know the person quite well, I'm rather playful with innuendos etc and can show subtle signs of jealousy.

The problem is that I'm not always able to tell whether I have feelings for someone or not. Heh, I've occasionally even had clear physical signs of attraction but I just don't feel anything. There's still a lot of work to do with my feeling side.
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:
i am kind of liking this INTJ vibe...so INTJs do you all prefer to be the initiators, or do you like to be approached by a girl? i am the approaching type.
 

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i am kind of liking this INTJ vibe...so INTJs do you all prefer to be the initiators, or do you like to be approached by a girl? i am the approaching type.
I think you can approach an INTJ directly, but don't expect a smooth way in case there is no interest. It will just be something like: Sorry, not interested.
 

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I think you can approach an INTJ directly, but don't expect a smooth way in case there is no interest. It will just be something like: Sorry, not interested.

very true. INTJs do not beat around the bush (no pun intended)...if we are hit on, and maybe even asked to give out our number....and we do not have ANY interest in the person, we will go as far as lying and saying we are in a relationship (even if we arent)...generally however, most INTJs would just say "sorry, not interested"...small talk and/or fake enthusiasm does not happen with INTJs...sorry
 

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I would say, tries to talk to you. INTJ's, though introverted are action oriented. If we show interest we will pursue it.
 

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I don't mind being approached. I show interest by looking at a person..smiling, touching my hair and laughing a little too. Basically if I'm interested in making friends I pay attention to the person. i like private not so crowded places where one can speak freely.
 

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How do you guys show that you have feelings for someone? Are there subtle signs one looks for?:laughing:
Generally, because INTJs are more reserved you will probably not see any signs unless their intended, and by then the person would have already made it clear...so just give it time.
 

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Haha...ha.
 

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Talking about myself, I honestly try to avoid all unnecessary contact with people, because based on previous experiences it always go bad, including family members, and the reason is that I'm an uncompromising person, when it comes to my world. My world is very important to me, especially my inner world and I don't want it disturbed, so if avoiding altogether is impossible, then at least minimizing it to the absolute necessary is the way to go. In this context expressing feelings is not particularly helpful.
 
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