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I'm asking because I'm trying to write a story about a lesbian woman who was raised in a Baptist family, so I'm curious to know if you were immediately accepting of your sexuality or gender identity or if it was difficult due to the family you were raised in or your peer group. Did you ever go through a period of denial?
 

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No, I accepted in a millisecond. I lived through majority of my life being confused about my sexual orientation. I tried to be straight, gay, bi, pan. It just got me more confused. It wasn't denial. It was due to complete lack of representation of asexuality anywhere in the media and in the society. I didn't know I could be one. I did come across the word "Asexual" once or twice but people associated the word with either "celibate" or "the one who has no sex drive." I was neither. The moment I learned the difference between sexual attraction and sex drive made it very clear. When I found out about asexuality on AVEN, I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's a great feeling to find out you're not alone in this and there are others who are experiencing the same thing as you do.

I'm also on the aromantic side of the spectrum and romance repulsed. That is harder to accept. Since I'm a bio female it's expected out of me by my family and friends to find a romantic partner and get married. My family still wants me to get married traditionally and have kids. That puts a lot of pressure on me cuz I'm a very family-orientated person and I feel very guilty about not being able to fulfill their wishes.

My gender identity was also an issue starting from my childhood. I get very offended and hurt when people addressed me as a girl or a boy. I would cry and yell "I don't want to be a girl/a boy." I would stop eating and protest in silent lol My family never really accepted it. I got used to it though. I just pretend they are referring to my bio sex instead of gender. They are now content with my asexuality.
 

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I was raised in an extremely religious family. My mother and my brother are ordained pastors. The rest of my family are traditional Catholics or evangelical Christians. On top of this, I come from an immigrant family with a super conservative culture. I began to question my sexuality since the beginning of puberty. I did not come out to my family until I was 18 and my friends when I was 17. I grew up Canada, in a big city, where LGB right are accepted and gay marriage is legal. However, in my own personal community, being gay was definitely frowned upon. I definitely had periods of denial. I tried to say I was straight, but just curious. At first I only considered watching lesbian acts and not participating. Then participating but being a pillow princess. It definitely took a while for what I understood on an intellectual level (that being gay is okay) to what I understood on a emotional level (God is punishing me). I know that if I wasn't first generation or raised in a religious home, I probably would have come out at 13/14 and pursued lesbian relationships at that age. BTW, I'm bisexual.
 

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Nope. I'm just surprised it took me until 8th grade to figure out I was something other than straight because it was pretty damn obvious looking back. It's just not something I ever thought about, but I had no problems accepting it when I finally did.
 

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Yes it took me a while to accept, not terribly long though. The way I was raised does not greenlight the LGBT lifestyle. I also did not know any LGBT people. Or know or understand what the lifestyle entailed since it's not really represented anywhere/everywhere like hetero relationships.
 

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Not really, I was arguing with myself about what I liked in relationships waaaay before the transition, the sex topic came up - but I never had sex at the time, so I ignored it and assumed hetero, when I did it involved a tranny, it felt good, then I was confused why people overcomplexify relationships, and decided to just simplify it with "I like people in general, especially what they feel like".

Apparently that's pansexual, since bisexual is two genders, and I don't give two shits about that.
 

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Somewhat? I was raised by a fairly religious Christian family and one of my grandfathers was a pastor. I figured that I was, in fact, not straight by around fourteen and by then I was having my doubts about Christianity. I don't think I really accepted it until two or three years later, because of the whole "you're going to go to hell" thing.

In terms of gender identity, I didn't even realise that there was a thing for what I experience even though I knew I had always been somewhat "off". I was seventeen by then, so accepting that was quite easy.
 

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Disclaimer, I just woke up, so I may come across more direct than usual. But firstly, not all of LGBT IS sexuality in the sense of who you're attracted to. :p To answer your question, I had to figure out my gender before I figured out sexuality as I think your gender is the building block for a lot of things and sexuality's really hard to work out before you get that worked out, haha. It surprisingly wasn't hard for me to accept and honestly I got to the point that I broke up with a girlfriend over it because I just was hit with the fact that, a woman ultimately isn't the person I want beside me in bed for the rest of my life. So...I got off easy and happen to be straight.


Not really, I was arguing with myself about what I liked in relationships waaaay before the transition, the sex topic came up - but I never had sex at the time, so I ignored it and assumed hetero, when I did it involved a tranny, it felt good, then I was confused why people overcomplexify relationships, and decided to just simplify it with "I like people in general, especially what they feel like".
You even dated a trans person? Come on, you KNOW what I'm going to say about that word. :tongue:
 

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You even dated a trans person? Come on, you KNOW what I'm going to say about that word. :tongue:
Well she's not here and she's an ex.
I mean seriously, trans people are people.
I don't dole out red carpets for people just because of their preferences.
EQUALITY N' SHIT.
 

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Well she's not here and she's an ex.
I mean seriously, trans people are people.
I don't dole out red carpets for people just because of their preferences.
EQUALITY N' SHIT.
I wouldn't consider it a red carpet to avoid calling someone a known highly offensive term. That's like saying you're doing someone a favor by not beating them senselessly...
 

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I accepted my sexuality last year...I'm 24 going on 25. I've known since I was a teenager...but even then, as a young child, I never felt like I was going to be interested in boys and marriage.

My parents were "christians-in-name-only" but were Fox News obsessed conservatives (my mom more so than my dad.)
I went through a lot of self hatred and internalized homophobia because of it. High school was definitely the worst and I was super stressed out and depressed.

I came out to them last spring and surprisingly they were accepting of it...but my mom still believes all the lies about LGBT people, like we're more sexually promiscuous and too inappropriate to adopt kids. (not like I want kids myself, but still.)
I didn't come out to them as a teenager because I was afraid they'd kick me out or cut me off.

Unfortunately, a college friend of mine got completely kicked out by her mom, and she had to work multiple jobs to afford her rent all while attending full-time college at the same time.
 
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Haha.

Think fundamentalist Baptists. Extremely protective, reclusive, conservative, church every Sunday until I was fifteen years old. I was extremely religious myself, very spiritual, dedicated my entire life to my beliefs. I always understood I had desires that weren't "natural," and although I accepted those desires internally, I worked against them externally in an effort to do right by god. I was extremely anti-LGBT up until sophomore year of high school, which is when the cognitive dissonance finally got to me. I started letting go of my religious upbringing and accepting who I was. I didn't come out to my mother until I was eighteen, didn't come out to my brother until I was twenty-one, never came out to my father but it didn't matter because my mother outed me. To this day I have no hope of starting a family of my own, certainly not one where my parents act as in-laws or grandparents. My brother, though, would make an amazing uncle.

Even writing this post makes me extremely paranoid.

Quite simply, it has the potential to really fuck you up.
 

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I get accused of being in denial because I dont like putting labels really on myself. The description of what I am is what most people consider to be bisexual. But I do not chose to identify my identity in labels on it.

Anyways I dont think I have ever denied it tho.

I remember liking men and women sexually when I started to have sexual interests as a teenager. I never walked around and made public proclamations but I also never really went and denied or hid anything either. I guess in that regard I have always been someone people probably justk new was bi as I never hid it or said it I just do whatever the fuck I want where the wind blows me.

I remember a friend who now identifies as fully lesbian had a huge coming out production. Part of this production was shoving it down her families throat and almost being somewhat obnoxious about it from where I stood. She insisted I come to her homecoming coronation to be her escort as she really liked me at the time but I felt more like a a shock value toy. I guess that experience made me uncomfortable not because of escorting her, but her public statements and turning it into a production, I didnt see that sort of behavior as necessary and felt it was more of a betrayal to being one with what you like then me not making statements. Like I said clearly I wasnt hiding anything, but what the hell is the point in the obnoxious behavior. OMG tho she is so sappy just in general outside that she always tries to make me gaze at stars with her when her wife gets drunk and blab alotta cheese. She is probably one of the most emotionally high maintenance women I have ever come across which eliminates attraction with ease. The amount of emotional tantrums and emotional catering she needs is thru the roof, I would jump off a building before enduring that.

My parents are definitely from a more homophobe generation then my generation is, but they were always too self involved to really care too much.

My mom did slap me when she found out I liked women, but I am not sure thats really homophobe she had also smacked my face bloody when I lost my virginity to a male too, so pretty sure it was just my defiance to her "do as I say not as I do" that upset her more then who it was with male or female. But yeah I know she thinks gay sex is gross she says things sometimes about it. I dont make a production out of shoving anything down her throat tho as I said male or female I dont feel like I need to explain too much of myself I am 31 and either way I have never felt that obligated to my parents in that manner. Fuckem I have nothing to prove to them nor to shove down their throat. I will sometimes mention if I hung out with a woman or something but my mom just rolls her eyes. She will always find it in contradiction to what she believes but shes not really the type to obsess about our livestyles period. I think she finds my baby sisters approach to hetero sex more bothersome then me which is to generally sleep with well off guys while they spoil her and then move on to the next dude. Or my older sis is hetero and generally could be associated as a bar fly that anyone could get drunk and group bang. Yeah I would say I am not my moms biggest disappointment anyways.

Anyways except your sexuality seems so vague. I will say that I was always very excepting of myself thru my teens, after I married a very traditional man at 22 who knew I was bisexual he often seemed to be nutz on his view. One minute he would encourage me to kiss women then another he would freak out angry and throw everything in my face and use it against me. He took part in orgies but then later threw it all back on me that I compromised his values. He was really screwy in that regard. Anyways that stuff made me feel very repressed and suffocated in my sexuality.

Now having been single tho for two years I feel comfortable. And I hate the labels. I dont generally state much on the subject one way or another. Being a masculine fem, but a feminine sort or bisexual people I think are often confused by stereotyping.
 
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