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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was curious what public venues you would be comfortable with a guy striking up a conversation. Such as book store, coffee shop, grocery store, etc?

Along with that, whats the most comfortable way for him to pursue getting together for a coffee/drink?

If he were to give you his phone number/email would you call/email?
 

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All this seems to depend on the person herself, her personality.

1) I'd go for a place she visits most frequently. That way, she knows her surroundings, so conversation with strangers/acquaintances is more probable to be comfortable.

2) Have a conversation first off and get to know the person and let her get to know you. Smile, laugh. And then subtly bring up if they'd like to have coffee/drink with you.

3) I'd probably be nervous to do so at first, so after giving my number, I'd wait for her to make the first move, and she did not, then I'd attempt to send a small picture or message to her phone that would make her laugh. Humor is always a good conversation-starter.
 
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I agree with Llamarider, everybody is different, but humor is pretty much the universal non-family relationship starter (regardless of the type of relationship).
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
All this seems to depend on the person herself, her personality.

1) I'd go for a place she visits most frequently. That way, she knows her surroundings, so conversation with strangers/acquaintances is more probable to be comfortable.

2) Have a conversation first off and get to know the person and let her get to know you. Smile, laugh. And then subtly bring up if they'd like to have coffee/drink with you.

3) I'd probably be nervous to do so at first, so after giving my number, I'd wait for her to make the first move, and she did not, then I'd attempt to send a small picture or message to her phone that would make her laugh. Humor is always a good conversation-starter.
Thanks for the response. I didn't have anyone specifically in mind. I was just wanting to see if any place was better then others. Like if its a total waste of time if I see someone in a grocery store.

Also, based on your reply, I'm guessing your saying that exchanging phone numbers is best
 

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Hmm, well, I believe that if you want to approach a person, you should take note of her patterns, you know? That's the best way since people all differ. However, don't ignore social norms either. It'd be rather odd to instigate conversation inside a dumpster, ya know? hahaha of course, unless that's her thing :tongue:
 
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One day I was in the grocery store wearing my old, ripped Gap jeans, and I was standing in the wine aisle, choosing a bottle. A man came up behind me and commented that my pants were nearly short shorts.

Don't do that.

Otherwise, I think it's safe to approach women in public as long as you're charming or respectful. It's typically not a good idea to wave down random chicks walking down the sidewalk, though.

It really depends on the girl, her mood, and whether or not she finds you attractive, too.
 

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I tend to feel more comfortable if we're at a place of common interest where I think the guy has a better chance at me not being so guarded- i.e., camera or art store. I mean, in those places people are allowed to be quirky and totally be themselves. It's all good for me there.

Maybe not at the gym, especially in a sauna or sweat room. :happy:
 

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You know what's the best way to strike up a conversation with a lady? Take a film camera with you, have a mic in your hand, and start asking questions, instant ice breaker, they'll even respond to awkward questions.
 
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I agree with Llamarider, everybody is different, but humor is pretty much the universal non-family relationship starter (regardless of the type of relationship).
Yeah. A guy who can laugh, especially poke fun at himself on occasion, means he doesn't take himself too seriously.

It's contextual, but I'm probably not going to meet with someone who immediately asks me out -- I need SOMETHING by which to evaluate things by. Establishing a connection first is the best; there are too many assumptions made for a "casual date" that aren't worth dealing with, with a complete stranger unless someone else I trust has vetted him.
 

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For me, it would be just about anyplace, except perhaps at a movie, play, concert...where I am concentrating on the entertainment.

Most comfortable way. Just asking directly.

Would I call/email.......depends on the conversation, my first impression ect
 

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Hmm, well, I believe that if you want to approach a person, you should take note of her patterns, you know?
But don't stalk her to discover her patterns...don't follow her around That's really threatening, even if you don't mean it that way
 

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and take note of whats she is reading or in her grocery basket or in the starbucks cup. People usually have habits when it comes to frequenting retail establishments. just coincidentally show up again the same time and the same place. Good chance you will see her again
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
But don't stalk her to discover her patterns...don't follow her around That's really threatening, even if you don't mean it that way
LOL, so no notepook writing down times and locations? j/k So better to attempt a second meeting before asking for a number probably, gauging how intersted she might seem.
 

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even when I was single - no, I generally don't welcome advances from guys I don't know from a random public place. Conversation is OK, but let's leave it at that shall we?*

my reason being I don't know him and he doesn't know me. There's nothing for either of us to go by apart from looks, and for me that's hardly a basis on which to establish any sort of relationship. The few times I tried to give this a go it didn't work out well.

*edit: upon further thought, over the past few years I've become increasingly unreceptive to even that, due to guys who are..er..I'm not sure how to put this, there's a Thai idiom for it: ได้คืบจะเอาศอก ...I'm pretty sure there's an English equivalent, meaning
..
ok found it: "Give him an inch, and he'll take a yard" basically, taking advantage of my friendliness.
 

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When I go to a grocery store, I'm going there to get food, not a guy. Same goes for coffee shops and other stores. I don't want to be disturbed when I'm on a mission. That being said, I prefer to meet guys through social clubs/organizations. That way there's already a level of shared interests and a common theme around which to relate. Plus, the point of those types of meetings is to talk. So it all coincides with the objective.
 

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It's not so much the place as much as the guy who does it and they way he does it that makes a difference. But really anywhere as long as it's done is a kind and friendly way. I prefer when guys offer me an email address personally as opposed to a phone number.

I say go for it and you will be successful! Best wishes!
 

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even when I was single - no, I generally don't welcome advances from guys I don't know from a random public place. Conversation is OK, but let's leave it at that shall we?*

my reason being I don't know him and he doesn't know me. There's nothing for either of us to go by apart from looks, and for me that's hardly a basis on which to establish any sort of relationship. The few times I tried to give this a go it didn't work out well.

*edit: upon further thought, over the past few years I've become increasingly unreceptive to even that, due to guys who are..er..I'm not sure how to put this, there's a Thai idiom for it: ได้คืบจะเอาศอก ...I'm pretty sure there's an English equivalent, meaning
..
ok found it: "Give him an inch, and he'll take a yard" basically, taking advantage of my friendliness.
How is anyone not a stranger, or a random, at some point in time? And how does one NOT begin with physical attraction as a first stepping stone to develop relationships, seems to me like you're projecting your bad experiences onto a subject that's so vast.

Just so you know, be careful when approaching a lone woman in public, and look out for signs that she doesn't want to talk to you.

A very useful article for men to read - Guest Blogger Starling: Schrödinger.
Lol........ very useful ? to whom?
 
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