Hello everyone,
I know its a long post,my apologies, and I am sure a lot of people wont read it, but I hope some of you might find it interesting
There is one topic which has been intriguing for some years now concerning social interaction in general. Lately, however, I have been trying to analyze more deeply the female perception of this topic.
To make my issue as clear as possible I would like to start of by telling you a little about myself. It might be a little boring, but I think it could be relevant.
I am 22 years old, male, studying at university. I grew up in a foreign country since the age of 3 and my parents tried to integrate me as much as possible: they send me to the local kindergarden and school. Around age (+/-)7- (+/-)18 I was never popular in school. Quite the contrary: I was very shy, introverted and mostly kept to myself (INTJ style I guess). But then eventually, maybe I started to find people who thought alike and I got on with them very well. The problem was that these people where allways outsiders too. So I did find friends, that was never really the problem as I liked to be to myself just fine, but I never was quite able to climb up the social ladder to the most "popular" people.
But eventually I ralized how many benfits one can reap from social popularity, and how important it is the mind and the soul. From this point onwards I started to analyze the people around me with more detail and started seeing a ton of behaviourial mechanisms, and I made it to my goal to copy and perfectualize these mechanisms*.
Note: from now on I will call the totality of these social mechanisms: "playing the game" or "just the game"
Now I am 22 and I think I have come very close to my goal! (obviously there is still a ton of improovements to malke, but I can be socially succesfull now)
I would even dare to say that I can have a lot more social success than other Extraverted peple when it comes to social interactions, although I am INTJ and have a natural handycap.
Whilst analyzing people I noticed that there are certain individuals who are extremely skilled at making people like them (even if it is only superficially: who cares, i am not trying to find friends, I am trying to be popular!). One example would be a pretty girl in school: she will allways be popular and along her social carrer will learn how to play with her natural gift of beauty and will learn how to play the social game to close perfection. Or the popular guy in highscool, they will all intuitively learn how to manipulate people around them. Often it is said that they have a certain "aura" about them. Well we can quantify this "aura" and break it up into distinct behaviourial paterns.
Once one does that cosciously, one will gain the advantage to be able to gice signal at will! This will make you more dinamic, adabtable, and more powerfull. Why that? well because people who do it unconsiously can only do it when they really mean it and this includes a certain random factor, they simply cannot do it with anyone and everyone.
Someone who understands these mechanisms more consciously can, however, send the right signals at will and thus be popular within limitless groups, cultures, styles, gangs, whatever!
Finally comming to my issue. I talked with guys about the game and how they play it and I did meet the rare individual who was completely aware of how to play the game and manipulate people with it.
However, guys have a natuaral disadvantage when playing the game: They can manipulate guys, thats easy, and they can manipulate girls, which is harder. Why? because often girls pose much more of a challenge because it is socially inacceptable to "give yourself in" to a random guy just like that.
On the other hand, thats not the same wiht most guys: they are easily manipulated by a pretty girl, because they are more succeptible to manipulation targeting their libidinal instincts.
Now here my 2 questions:
First: Are there girls out there who have perfectualized the game and think that they know how to use it consciously in a controlled fashion? ( I have spoken to a lot of girsl who I thought new how to play the game, but none did it consciously)
Second: If there is someone answering the first question affirmativelly, do you play the game with other girsl too? and if yes, does it work just as well?
ONE LAST IMPORTANT THING: when I mean that I play the game it DOES NOT mean that I just copy the popular people and do what they do in order to become popular: I never humilated another person or treated them baldy just to gain favour in groups, I never needed to once I was at a certain stage of understanding of the game.
Hey guys, sorry for this mega long post! I am hoping for some interesting answes :tongue:
* When I talk about mechanisms I mean things like: bodylanguage (eye contact, smiles, laughs, where to put your hands, how to stand, how to sit, etc.), the whole game with loosing and gaining "face" in social interaction, the beahviourial characteristics of individuals on different stages of the social/group hierarchy, etc.
I know its a long post,my apologies, and I am sure a lot of people wont read it, but I hope some of you might find it interesting
There is one topic which has been intriguing for some years now concerning social interaction in general. Lately, however, I have been trying to analyze more deeply the female perception of this topic.
To make my issue as clear as possible I would like to start of by telling you a little about myself. It might be a little boring, but I think it could be relevant.
I am 22 years old, male, studying at university. I grew up in a foreign country since the age of 3 and my parents tried to integrate me as much as possible: they send me to the local kindergarden and school. Around age (+/-)7- (+/-)18 I was never popular in school. Quite the contrary: I was very shy, introverted and mostly kept to myself (INTJ style I guess). But then eventually, maybe I started to find people who thought alike and I got on with them very well. The problem was that these people where allways outsiders too. So I did find friends, that was never really the problem as I liked to be to myself just fine, but I never was quite able to climb up the social ladder to the most "popular" people.
But eventually I ralized how many benfits one can reap from social popularity, and how important it is the mind and the soul. From this point onwards I started to analyze the people around me with more detail and started seeing a ton of behaviourial mechanisms, and I made it to my goal to copy and perfectualize these mechanisms*.
Note: from now on I will call the totality of these social mechanisms: "playing the game" or "just the game"
Now I am 22 and I think I have come very close to my goal! (obviously there is still a ton of improovements to malke, but I can be socially succesfull now)
I would even dare to say that I can have a lot more social success than other Extraverted peple when it comes to social interactions, although I am INTJ and have a natural handycap.
Whilst analyzing people I noticed that there are certain individuals who are extremely skilled at making people like them (even if it is only superficially: who cares, i am not trying to find friends, I am trying to be popular!). One example would be a pretty girl in school: she will allways be popular and along her social carrer will learn how to play with her natural gift of beauty and will learn how to play the social game to close perfection. Or the popular guy in highscool, they will all intuitively learn how to manipulate people around them. Often it is said that they have a certain "aura" about them. Well we can quantify this "aura" and break it up into distinct behaviourial paterns.
Once one does that cosciously, one will gain the advantage to be able to gice signal at will! This will make you more dinamic, adabtable, and more powerfull. Why that? well because people who do it unconsiously can only do it when they really mean it and this includes a certain random factor, they simply cannot do it with anyone and everyone.
Someone who understands these mechanisms more consciously can, however, send the right signals at will and thus be popular within limitless groups, cultures, styles, gangs, whatever!
Finally comming to my issue. I talked with guys about the game and how they play it and I did meet the rare individual who was completely aware of how to play the game and manipulate people with it.
However, guys have a natuaral disadvantage when playing the game: They can manipulate guys, thats easy, and they can manipulate girls, which is harder. Why? because often girls pose much more of a challenge because it is socially inacceptable to "give yourself in" to a random guy just like that.
On the other hand, thats not the same wiht most guys: they are easily manipulated by a pretty girl, because they are more succeptible to manipulation targeting their libidinal instincts.
Now here my 2 questions:
First: Are there girls out there who have perfectualized the game and think that they know how to use it consciously in a controlled fashion? ( I have spoken to a lot of girsl who I thought new how to play the game, but none did it consciously)
Second: If there is someone answering the first question affirmativelly, do you play the game with other girsl too? and if yes, does it work just as well?
ONE LAST IMPORTANT THING: when I mean that I play the game it DOES NOT mean that I just copy the popular people and do what they do in order to become popular: I never humilated another person or treated them baldy just to gain favour in groups, I never needed to once I was at a certain stage of understanding of the game.
Hey guys, sorry for this mega long post! I am hoping for some interesting answes :tongue:
* When I talk about mechanisms I mean things like: bodylanguage (eye contact, smiles, laughs, where to put your hands, how to stand, how to sit, etc.), the whole game with loosing and gaining "face" in social interaction, the beahviourial characteristics of individuals on different stages of the social/group hierarchy, etc.