[FearsomeCritter]

I have a friend i beleive to be an INFJ. Recently he's been a bit off.

Today he asked me what mood he was in, evidently he didn't know. (which not by any means the norm for him)

His workload has greatly increased, he just moved to collage, and he basicly described it to me as if here were, "floating through life."

All of his hobbies relate to escapism (by his own admission). Roleplaying, videogames, reading and writing fantasy.


He told me he feels like he needs to find and do something real with his life before it passes him by.


This is not his normal behavior. Any advice? Do you need more information?

 

[MissNobody]

I have a friend i beleive to be an INFJ. Recently he's been a bit off.

Today he asked me what mood he was in, evidently he didn't know. (which not by any means the norm for him)

His workload has greatly increased, he just moved to collage, and he basicly described it to me as if here were, "floating through life."

All of his hobbies relate to escapism (by his own admission). Roleplaying, videogames, reading and writing fantasy.

He told me he feels like he needs to find and do something real with his life before it passes him by.

This is not his normal behavior. Any advice? Do you need more information?

When he says "he feels like he needs to find and do something real with his life before it passes him by" It sounds like something is worrying him or he is feeling unfulfilled by his college course. Have you tried speaking to him directly?

I'm the sort of person that will not say what is going on in my head unless I know the person is willing to listen and even then I need probing! Perhaps you be more direct that you are worried about him and tell him that you are there to listen he might speak to you.

What was he doing before he went to college? Is he living away from home?

 

[FearsomeCritter]

What was he doing before he went to college? Is he living away from home?

Yeah, he just went from living at home with his parents to out of town and living on campus.

 

[MissNobody]

Yeah, he just went from living at home with his parents to out of town and living on campus.

Perhaps he is feeling homesick and needs time to adjust. If I were you I would definitely try and speak to him even if it's to say that you are there for him and ready and willing to listen.

You could ask him if he is enjoying course? And whether he enjoys living away from home?

I hope you are able to find out why he is acting out of the norm and are able to give him help if he needs it.

 

[Filigeedreamer]

My activities tend to be pretty escapist, but I do need to go and live outside my head as well. This compliments and adds to my inner activities. If I don't do enough to balance myself, I feel like I am just watching life go by, not living it.

As he has just moved to collage maybe he is feeling he is getting older, and doesn't want to be entirely in a fantasy for the rest of his life, he wants and needs something real, but that reality simply isn't providing just now (hence escapism). Until now the escapism alone has been enough...but maybe he is getting to a point where he needs more?

Perhaps he wants/needs to bring a little of what he likes from his fantasy world into the world around him, or maybe to find that in the world around him now and then?

It could simply be a passing phase, or a sign of a deeper dissatisfaction which has been building for some time.

Solutions? Help him do things that make him feel more of a participant, and less of an observer. Just make sure they are on his terms and things he responds to, don’t go dragging them to a big party or something.

I quite like going on trips with a few close friends, to museums, historic places, nature reserves, art galleries, the theatre...these might not be his thing, but it would probably be good if it gave him a change of scenery, wasn’t too noisy, and gave him a chance to make memories and have quality time with one or two people they really like.

Talk it out with them, we like doing that, at least with the right people.