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I did this questionnaire already on 16t forum but I didn't find the answers enlightening so I thought I'd go over my answers and post it again on here.
What is beauty? What is love?
Love - Honestly I have no idea. I think that the sentiment itself is too broad to be placed inside the constraints of a few words. I often wonder though if love even exists or whether it's merely just an illusion created by chemicals and such.
Beauty – I can't explain what beauty is for other people, but for me personally beauty is something that resonates deeply inside my very being. Whether it be a painting that is pleasing to the eye, or a piece of music that is composed just perfectly, beauty to me is something that evokes strong feelings of wholeness and belonging. As a side note I am often attracted to the darker and more abstract/surreal aspect of beauty.
What are your most important values?
I'm not sure. I don't really think about them.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I was raised Christian, but over time I've drifted away from it. After looking at the religion itself in depth I realized how full of contradictions it is and decided that Christianity and organized religion in general is not for me. I still consider myself vaguely spiritual though. I don't believe in the concept of 'salvation' and I'm not even sure if I believe in the afterlife, but it seems a bit ludicrous to think we are the only ones in existence. If anything I'm agnostic-pantheistic towards a 'collective consciousness' view of reality, mixing and matching parts from religions all over the world whenever I feel like exploring those distant parts of my mind that are connected to and extend throughout the universe (sort of mixing spirituality with the theory of everything here.) Or as someone else put it, I believe in a cyclical universe.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I have no opinion on war. It doesn't affect me directly and as far as I can see people are always going to fight. Why bother being sentimental over such a fact? If people want to fight then let them. World peace is not a realistic objective.
Power to me though is something I feel when I have ultimate control over a situation, usually without anyone realizing. The idea of being in a permanent place of power such as studying politics and becoming head of the state or country sounds appealing but I'm not sure I would ever have the tenacity to do something like that. I don't care for the ethical implications of power. Power corrupts, hierarchies exist, it's human nature. End of story.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I like conversations that stretch my imagination or my understanding of something. I like to touch on many different topics and not get bogged down in one topic, but I like to explore a topic in depth too. I feel like there has to be just the right balance of exploration and depth.
I have a habit of talking about controversial things and making people squirm. Sometimes it's because I like to test their reactions, but most the time it's just because I don't even realize I'm doing it. I like people who won't get offended by what I say, and people who can counter my own bizarre thoughts and theories with their own.
But in general my favorite subjects are usually philosophy and psychology. Anything wacky and 'out there' is also great. (For example I have a habit of saying that I did something that I obviously didn't do, and then stating afterwards that I actually did it in an alternate reality). Really anything floats my boat, as long as it's interesting.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I look after my body and would say I am fairly healthy, even though health and medicine is something I only care about if/when I'm ill. I just regulate it really, nothing more.
What do you think of daily chores?
Chores are just something that needs to be done. I like doing them to give my mind a break from whatever I'm doing, or just to mull over all the information in my head. I'm not completely organized when it comes to doing them though so sometimes I just sort of subtly manipulate other people to do them for me.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I kind of stopped reading books once I got a permanent internet connection. Sometimes I'll download PDF's and read half of them till I get bored. (For example a couple of months ago I read half of The God Delusion). I watch a lot of dark fantasy and mystery/psychological thriller anime's. I love something with a good complex plot. My favorite being Death Note. Other ones I loved are Ergo Proxy (that was intense!), and I liked watching the strategy used in Code Geass.
As for tv shows I love shows such as Sherlock, Doctor Who, and recently I just finished watching NBC's version of Hannibal, which is probably the most impressive thing I've watched to date. I like to watch things that make me use my brain. Romantic plots and soaps are a no go. It's just mind-numbing.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I don't really cry that often but when I do it's usually due to a perceived failure on my part. I don't really smile that much either, but anything weird and wonderful will likely put a smile on my face.
I can also be quite ironic. I like to say something which appears normal but actually carries a lot of hidden depth. I tend to keep a straight face in these moments, I think to see if anyone will actually get it. They never do.
I also tend to get extremely sarcastic when I'm angry. I'm not good with emotions so I can really bite when something's irritating me.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I don't feel like I belong; I never have done. I sort of feel like a shell sometimes. It's difficult living with some of the stuff in my head. I have whole complex visualizations of reality filed away to call upon when needed and it can make me rather nihilistic to say the least. Sometimes though I like to take a walk through the fields or in the woods and that can give me a sense of feeling at one with nature. It makes me feel connected to the universe. I like doing that every so often just to get my thoughts out of the endless repetition of 'it's all pointless ultimately'.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm not sure what other people perceive me as being weak. I don't really care to entertain the idea either as what they see and what is actually there is quite likely two completely different things. I also don't dwell on my own faults, only striving to be the best in mind that I can be. If I had to pick one thing though that I dislike about myself, it would be my inability to be involved with the real world. I have a habit of withdrawing too often and not directly getting anywhere in life.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I've often been complimented on how intellectual I am. The comments don't really mean that much to me though since the people who say that are usually of lesser intelligence, and so I feel like they have nothing to offer me. I think maybe above anything else I like the way I can always see something from a different and unique perspective when it's called for. I also like my ability to be logical and be free from most common delusions.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I would like someone to nudge me slowly outside and into the world. I don't want to just be jolted into it as my tenacity never holds up in those situations. I just want to be able to function normally and steadfastly without getting tired or bored or just fed up. I guess I just wish I didn't feel so incompetent when it comes to reality.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
As I mentioned before I get stuck in nihilistic mindsets all too easily. I'm not sure what the cause is. But oftentimes something small will set me off and then suddenly that one thing will blow up and get bigger and bigger until suddenly it's not just my personal problem that upsets me, but the whole of existence which seems meaningless.
My reaction is to indulge in it before finding something else to distract me.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
First and foremost I like people who are intelligent. Secondly I love people who have strong imagination. I like someone who can keep up with my complex thought process and someone who can counter them with their own.
I hate judgmental people and people who are all talk. I avoid hypocrites like the plague.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I'm indifferent/averse to romance. I don't really care for human contact. Not to say that I don't want it, but it's just easier to not want it. I can change my mindset easily on this. Relationships are the area of my life I struggle with the most and so I just learned to ignore any 'human' needs after a while.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I doubt I'd ever be in this position in the first place, but if I was then my main concern would be keeping the child as mentally balanced as possible. (Seeing how I lack in that regard). I would be a carefree but a just parent I think. I would set parameters and enforce them, but being strict is far from what I would want to be. Loving and supporting a child to the best of my ability is probably the best I could do. I don't believe in punishment. Discussing the pitfalls of negative behavior in an open environment and rewarding good behavior would be my tactic.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I would tell them straight up that I disagree. If they're worth the effort then I would give them the time of day to help them understand where I'm coming from. If not then I'd just shrug and let them believe what they want.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
My relationship with society is non-existent. Mostly because I have an inability to function in it like a normal human being, but also because the very structure of society disgusts me. I could go on forever about all the things that are wrong with it and how much I hate it.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't really have any friends. I have a few acquaintances.. But no one seems to understand me, so I just keep to myself. I can be quite rowdy around people I know well though.
How do you behave around strangers?
It depends on what image I want or need to give off at the time. If I don't care to put any effort in an image then I probably come across as quite aloof and cold. If I try though I can be quite engaging, often surprising myself in the process. But I usually need to have a reason for being engaging. If there's no goal then there's no point.
What is beauty? What is love?
Love - Honestly I have no idea. I think that the sentiment itself is too broad to be placed inside the constraints of a few words. I often wonder though if love even exists or whether it's merely just an illusion created by chemicals and such.
Beauty – I can't explain what beauty is for other people, but for me personally beauty is something that resonates deeply inside my very being. Whether it be a painting that is pleasing to the eye, or a piece of music that is composed just perfectly, beauty to me is something that evokes strong feelings of wholeness and belonging. As a side note I am often attracted to the darker and more abstract/surreal aspect of beauty.
What are your most important values?
I'm not sure. I don't really think about them.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I was raised Christian, but over time I've drifted away from it. After looking at the religion itself in depth I realized how full of contradictions it is and decided that Christianity and organized religion in general is not for me. I still consider myself vaguely spiritual though. I don't believe in the concept of 'salvation' and I'm not even sure if I believe in the afterlife, but it seems a bit ludicrous to think we are the only ones in existence. If anything I'm agnostic-pantheistic towards a 'collective consciousness' view of reality, mixing and matching parts from religions all over the world whenever I feel like exploring those distant parts of my mind that are connected to and extend throughout the universe (sort of mixing spirituality with the theory of everything here.) Or as someone else put it, I believe in a cyclical universe.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I have no opinion on war. It doesn't affect me directly and as far as I can see people are always going to fight. Why bother being sentimental over such a fact? If people want to fight then let them. World peace is not a realistic objective.
Power to me though is something I feel when I have ultimate control over a situation, usually without anyone realizing. The idea of being in a permanent place of power such as studying politics and becoming head of the state or country sounds appealing but I'm not sure I would ever have the tenacity to do something like that. I don't care for the ethical implications of power. Power corrupts, hierarchies exist, it's human nature. End of story.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I like conversations that stretch my imagination or my understanding of something. I like to touch on many different topics and not get bogged down in one topic, but I like to explore a topic in depth too. I feel like there has to be just the right balance of exploration and depth.
I have a habit of talking about controversial things and making people squirm. Sometimes it's because I like to test their reactions, but most the time it's just because I don't even realize I'm doing it. I like people who won't get offended by what I say, and people who can counter my own bizarre thoughts and theories with their own.
But in general my favorite subjects are usually philosophy and psychology. Anything wacky and 'out there' is also great. (For example I have a habit of saying that I did something that I obviously didn't do, and then stating afterwards that I actually did it in an alternate reality). Really anything floats my boat, as long as it's interesting.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I look after my body and would say I am fairly healthy, even though health and medicine is something I only care about if/when I'm ill. I just regulate it really, nothing more.
What do you think of daily chores?
Chores are just something that needs to be done. I like doing them to give my mind a break from whatever I'm doing, or just to mull over all the information in my head. I'm not completely organized when it comes to doing them though so sometimes I just sort of subtly manipulate other people to do them for me.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I kind of stopped reading books once I got a permanent internet connection. Sometimes I'll download PDF's and read half of them till I get bored. (For example a couple of months ago I read half of The God Delusion). I watch a lot of dark fantasy and mystery/psychological thriller anime's. I love something with a good complex plot. My favorite being Death Note. Other ones I loved are Ergo Proxy (that was intense!), and I liked watching the strategy used in Code Geass.
As for tv shows I love shows such as Sherlock, Doctor Who, and recently I just finished watching NBC's version of Hannibal, which is probably the most impressive thing I've watched to date. I like to watch things that make me use my brain. Romantic plots and soaps are a no go. It's just mind-numbing.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I don't really cry that often but when I do it's usually due to a perceived failure on my part. I don't really smile that much either, but anything weird and wonderful will likely put a smile on my face.
I can also be quite ironic. I like to say something which appears normal but actually carries a lot of hidden depth. I tend to keep a straight face in these moments, I think to see if anyone will actually get it. They never do.
I also tend to get extremely sarcastic when I'm angry. I'm not good with emotions so I can really bite when something's irritating me.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I don't feel like I belong; I never have done. I sort of feel like a shell sometimes. It's difficult living with some of the stuff in my head. I have whole complex visualizations of reality filed away to call upon when needed and it can make me rather nihilistic to say the least. Sometimes though I like to take a walk through the fields or in the woods and that can give me a sense of feeling at one with nature. It makes me feel connected to the universe. I like doing that every so often just to get my thoughts out of the endless repetition of 'it's all pointless ultimately'.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm not sure what other people perceive me as being weak. I don't really care to entertain the idea either as what they see and what is actually there is quite likely two completely different things. I also don't dwell on my own faults, only striving to be the best in mind that I can be. If I had to pick one thing though that I dislike about myself, it would be my inability to be involved with the real world. I have a habit of withdrawing too often and not directly getting anywhere in life.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I've often been complimented on how intellectual I am. The comments don't really mean that much to me though since the people who say that are usually of lesser intelligence, and so I feel like they have nothing to offer me. I think maybe above anything else I like the way I can always see something from a different and unique perspective when it's called for. I also like my ability to be logical and be free from most common delusions.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I would like someone to nudge me slowly outside and into the world. I don't want to just be jolted into it as my tenacity never holds up in those situations. I just want to be able to function normally and steadfastly without getting tired or bored or just fed up. I guess I just wish I didn't feel so incompetent when it comes to reality.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
As I mentioned before I get stuck in nihilistic mindsets all too easily. I'm not sure what the cause is. But oftentimes something small will set me off and then suddenly that one thing will blow up and get bigger and bigger until suddenly it's not just my personal problem that upsets me, but the whole of existence which seems meaningless.
My reaction is to indulge in it before finding something else to distract me.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
First and foremost I like people who are intelligent. Secondly I love people who have strong imagination. I like someone who can keep up with my complex thought process and someone who can counter them with their own.
I hate judgmental people and people who are all talk. I avoid hypocrites like the plague.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I'm indifferent/averse to romance. I don't really care for human contact. Not to say that I don't want it, but it's just easier to not want it. I can change my mindset easily on this. Relationships are the area of my life I struggle with the most and so I just learned to ignore any 'human' needs after a while.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I doubt I'd ever be in this position in the first place, but if I was then my main concern would be keeping the child as mentally balanced as possible. (Seeing how I lack in that regard). I would be a carefree but a just parent I think. I would set parameters and enforce them, but being strict is far from what I would want to be. Loving and supporting a child to the best of my ability is probably the best I could do. I don't believe in punishment. Discussing the pitfalls of negative behavior in an open environment and rewarding good behavior would be my tactic.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I would tell them straight up that I disagree. If they're worth the effort then I would give them the time of day to help them understand where I'm coming from. If not then I'd just shrug and let them believe what they want.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
My relationship with society is non-existent. Mostly because I have an inability to function in it like a normal human being, but also because the very structure of society disgusts me. I could go on forever about all the things that are wrong with it and how much I hate it.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't really have any friends. I have a few acquaintances.. But no one seems to understand me, so I just keep to myself. I can be quite rowdy around people I know well though.
How do you behave around strangers?
It depends on what image I want or need to give off at the time. If I don't care to put any effort in an image then I probably come across as quite aloof and cold. If I try though I can be quite engaging, often surprising myself in the process. But I usually need to have a reason for being engaging. If there's no goal then there's no point.
