Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

92 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I get the main idea of the MBTI, though not the functions, but I'm completely new to the enneagram theory and know nothing about it yet. I thought it'd be interested to do this...

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I look towards the future and have high ambitions and expectations for myself. Academic knowledge is of high importance to me, as is being self-sufficient and free to explore different places around the world. I want to gain the respect of people.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I'd love to make a significant breakthrough in my field of interest. That's not exactly likely, but small contributions would make me happy too. I also want to have travelled to a wide variety of places and cultures.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I seem to avoid becoming complacent. There is always something better to aim for. I don't think I would ever be happy leading an 'average' life based around family and a regular job. I do not want to rely on others' approval for self-esteem or be influenced by what others think I 'ought' to be doing.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I fear failiure immensley. Being told that I cannot achieve the high standards I set for myself is something I find crushing, as I am of the belief that no matter what I do, I can always get better.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want to be seen as determined, successful, as someone who knows what they want and sets out to get it. I also want to be seen as someone in control of their emotions, however, at the moment, I find that rather difficult. I see myself as a rational person who is ambitious but not deluded. I am an introvert and enjoy my own company. I do not want to be pitied for that character trait.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I've achieved a goal that I set for myself, or when I've done something 'better' than others. Being around a small group of people or a single person who accepts me despite my flaws and doesn't seem to think I'm 'strange' also makes me happy. I feel worst when people mock me or invalidate my (often negative, but out of my control) emotions.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger;
I find it incredibly difficult to control myself if I'm angry. Though normally I try to be calm and stoic, I become angry if people talk down to me, fail to understand or try to understand me, and things of that nature. I am not myself. I am prone to heated verbal arguments and even lashing out at people physically, though never without reason.

b) shame;
This is hard to deal with and get over. I try to forget about it but it keeps coming back into my mind... I find after a while, I find something else to focus on. Perhaps another emotion.

c) anxiety.
I am extremely prone to anxiety because of my fear of failure. I worry a lot, often cannot focus or think clearly, and the thing I am anxious about takes over my mind.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress;
Stress goes hand-in-hand with anxiety for me. I become stressed if I have deadlines approaching - I don't work well under pressure at all. Often I lose my focus. Sometimes I no longer feel like eating anything.

b) unexpected change;
This generally causes stress if I'm not given time to adjust. I feel comfortable knowing what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it. I don't like being out of control. It makes me feel uneasy.

c) conflict.
Whilst I don't seek conflict, I stand up to people who challenge me. I state my reasoning and it annoys me greatly if the other person shows no logic in their thought process. I do not like physical violence, because I know I can (and probably will) get hurt in the process.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority;
If I agree with the person in authority, I go along with them. However, I never compromise any strong-held ideas, opinions or beliefs because I'm told to. I do not blindly follow anyone and they need to show me respect in order for me to respect them. I don't particularly desire to hold authority.

b) power. How do you respond to these?
I want to maintain absolute control over my life and I don't like the idea that other people may be in control instead. Power shouldn't be used to coerce others into doing things 'your way'. Rather it should be used to help people get the most out of their lives.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
There are problems in the world that will never be completely solved. It's a fact of life that some people have it easier than others, although it's not always fair. For individuals, life is what you make it. Go after what you want in life rather than expecting things to work out or people to do things for you.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
I did rather badly on an exam, which meant I wasn't able to go to the prestigious university of my choice, which I had been eagerly anticipating going to for months. On results day, I lost my cool and became very upset. I hoped they'd accept me anyway, even though I knew it wasn't going to happen. Now, I'm at a university which is still a good one, just not one of the best in the country. I tried to convince myself that things have worked out for the best and point out all the things that could have gone badly if I'd ended up at my first choice one.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I don't place trust in others. I don't particularly want to be able to trust others because I feel like the only way I can gurantee something is done is if I do it myself. People tend to 'forget' promises and let you down.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like;
- independant
- ambitious
- creative thinker

b) dislike most about yourself.
- sometimes I feel I'm too ambitious for my own good, though this is momentary
- very prone to stress
- unable to control my emotions
- socially awkward

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
It's not particularly a good thing, but I often see people my own age as being annoying. I tend not to find enjoyment in the same things, and instead find it all a bit obnoxious and annoying how young adults behave.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel?
Think, 'fuck off!' because they know nothing about me. It'd be different if someone who knew me insulted me. I'd take it a lot more personally then.

What if they compliment you?
*raise an eyebrow* Really? Again, they know nothing about me so have no grounds to critique my personality. Since superficial things like appearence don't mean much to me, I'd probably take a compliment on my appearence as being meaningless.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have;
I'm thankful that I at least have some level of intelligence. I wish I could have more of it.

b) wish you could have? Why?
I also wish I had more friends. By that, I mean close friends who I can actually relate to, rather than people who I feel I have to present a facade to. Though I am an introvert, I do wish I had some people who understood my way of thinking and that I could share my ideas with on equal grounds.

6,540 Posts
At the start of the questionnaire, I saw 3-ish themes. As I read further, I notice very strong cp6 elements. It's likely your core type.

(1)How much do you value behaving in an ethical manner? Do you have high personal standards (not performance related)? How often do you tend to feel guilty?

(2)How do peace and aggression interact in your personality?

(3) What makes you feel secure?

Answer these questions in as much detail as possible.

In the meantime, read the 3 and 6 descriptions here:

Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions


the enneagram from the underground

The descriptions in the first link are concise, so I'd like to you read them first. Share your insights, comments, questions etc. after you've gone through the links and reflected on your core motivations.

92 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
(1)How much do you value behaving in an ethical manner? Do you have high personal standards (not performance related)? How often do you tend to feel guilty?
I think ethics is a very murky, grey area rather than being black and white. What may be the best course of action for one person in one situation may be completely unjust for another. Personally, I don't think I value this a great deal, unless say you're in a position of authority and you have the responsibility of doing what will be the best action for the people you're responsible for. It's not in my nature to go out my way to do nice things randomly for people. However, I won't intentionally do things I know could hurt people either. If I could get somebody into a lot of trouble by doing something that would help me in a trivial way, I'm not going to do it. I'm not nasty, but I tend to put my own wants before those of others. Hence unless I've done something which in hindsight, I realised caused someone else to experience something awful, I tend to rarely feel guilt. I don't feel guilty about not doing things that weren't specifically required of me. I feel that a lot of people are too easily offended by trivial things and by people not following social nuances.

(2)How do peace and aggression interact in your personality?
I become aggressive when people insult me personally. I don't take offense if people don't agree with my beliefs and am quite content to 'agree to disagree' and behave in a rational manner. However, if someone is adamant and won't back down or won't let me speak my point, I get quite annoyed. I don't enjoy confrontation, though it's something that must be done and can't always be avoided.

(3) What makes you feel secure?
Having enough money to live without having to worry about if I'll still have it tomorrow. A steady source of guranteed income would be very nice. That's pretty much it, really.

Reading the descriptions, some things that I considered:

  • The winner/loser mentality of the three is something I relate to, though I only apply this to myself, not to other people.
  • Generally, I am not easily resilient with a positive attitude. When set back, it often takes a while for me to want to continue, although I do push on because of my long-term goals being more important.
  • I'm actually clueless as to how others percieve me.
  • Although I do want my achievements to be recognised, I also find it very difficult to 'big up' myself and hate being the centre of attention.
  • I pursue success more for my own self-fulfilment than in order to be admired. I don't enjoy being complimented for things I haven't put effort into or don't care about.
  • A lot of the time, I doubt my own abilities and seek to prove that I can do things.
  • Basically, type three sounds quite accurate besides the need to be admired. Respect for my work is nice, but I don't pursue the admiration of others.
  • I don't specifically need the support of others to get by. I am quite happy without a long-term network of people around me (for instance, I place zero importance on the notion of family).
  • I generally don't find I analyse people (or motives) that much.

6,540 Posts
All of your points related to 3 are a huge strike against core 3. Type 3 craves admiration and feels a void inside that can only be filled by racking up accomplishments/ whatever they describe as "success". It's an image-focused type, so success isn't just about meeting security needs and personal fulfillment, but in large part, about external validation in the form of recognition/admiration etc. This type is very comfortable being the centre of attention; in fact, it's where they want to be (receiving positive attention for all they've accomplished). They often have a tendency to show-off in, subtle or well..not so subtle ways.

Now, core 3 is out of the way.

Next, I see you as a cp6w5. To doubt your own abilities and charge ahead, regardless, just to prove to yourself that you can do something is very much a counter-phobic 6 trait (breaking through limitations proves to them that they can handle challenges/problems etc.) Also, 6w5s are often heavily self-reliant. Especially when cp, they rarely turn to others for support. What you said there fits in with this very well.

Your response to the question about compliments is telling. Your first reaction is to think "Really..hmm...they know little...". It means that you're not automatically trusting of people, and you are, subtly questioning their motive or at least the source of their premature adulation. The keyword here is "questioning". You also don't trust easily, and your rationale that it's because people don't keep their promises (lack commitment and sincerity) is also 6ish. That said, keep in mind that being a 6 doesn't mean that one is a hound constantly sniffing around for malice. 6s are just not the one's to put their trust into just about anything/anyone without checking to make sure they won't land themselves in an insecure/unstable position. That's not at odds with anything you've said so far:).

I could see your heart fix as 3w4. I'll come back to your thread with the gut type part.

92 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Yeah, I'd say 6w5 seems fairly accurate. I read through 5w6 too, which also applies, but I'm more self-doubting than I really want to admit, a lot of the time. What you said just then makes sense, anyway. :)

Okay I'll be honest... I really don't get the 'tritype' thing, or the sp/so/sx that I see people talking about on here. And phobic/counter-phobic? :/

561 Posts
The sp/sx/so's are Instinctual Subtypes, which can bring a lot of variety to each type/wing. A good source is at The Enneagram.

I had the same reaction to your post as Boss: three up until the end, where six resonated more.
1 - 6 of 6 Posts