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· Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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... are there any other characteristics besides intelligence that would make you decide that it was safe enough to give someone a peek into your hopes, your fears, your insecurities, your aspirations... you know, those things that, when exposed, might make you feel more vulnerable?
Yes. It would be someone who knew better than to ask me a question like this. Especially after making the comment,

From the various things I've seen Te-doms write on this website, it doesn't appear that you lot are the "wear your heart on your sleeve" type.

You asked if I was offended.
No, because I don't think by asking the question your intent was to offend.
But, I'm not going to answer it beyond what I posted above.
I hope that doesn't offend you, because that's not my intent.
 

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Yes. It would be someone who knew better than to ask me a question like this. Especially after making the comment,
Hmm. Maybe it's because I'm used to talking about these things with random people that I didn't think that such a question would be offensive. I don't apologize for asking the question, but I am sorry that my asking it offended you. Honestly, my intention wasn't to make anyone uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it was the question, or the comment about Te-doms that rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps both, I'm not sure. But all I originally wanted to know was whether or not it took more than competence for an individual to be given access into the ENTJ's private space. And I think I got my answer. So thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

You asked if I was offended.
No, because I don't think by asking the question your intent was to offend.
But, I'm not going to answer it beyond what I posted above.
I hope that doesn't offend you, because that's not my intent.
No, it doesn't offend me at all. Again, thanks for taking the time to interact with me.
 

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1. What is the best way to initially connect with you? Intellectually....I love stimulating conversation.


2. What is the best way to maintain a connection with you? Engage in open, honest communication and have something engaging, stimulating, and/or fun to talk about or do.


3. What kind of people that you interact with most positively impact you? (e.g. those I can bounce my ideas off, those I can confide in, etc.) People I can learn something new from, people who can engage my silly side, people who give me my space, people who are open-minded.


4.What kind of interaction do you enjoy the most? playful banter, exchanging ideas, or engaging in physical activity.


5. What kind of people/material/etc. inspire you? ones who have courage, try new and different things, trivia masters, people who walk the talk
 

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1. What is the best way to initially connect with you? Be interesting in some way




2. What is the best way to maintain a connection with you? Be proactive (I tend to take on a lot of things and at times forget to come up for air because I enjoy my work), and DO NOT GO ON TANGENTS in examples or stories. I've literally waved the "let's wrap it up" sign numerous times to people. Yes it is rude, but they are providing information that I do not care about and don't need.


3. What kind of people that you interact with most positively impact you? Those who I perceive to be more successful in their goals than me, people who know their subject well enough to take a general hypothetical event and show me the impact through each

my fiancée, infp, is the one person I trust to be open with. I open different doors of my personality to different people, but only she has the full picture on hopes/fears/dreams, etc. and it took 4 years before I was willing to broach the deeper side of me, 5 years for full view. And I'm 25, for reference. She knew cliff notes year 2, but some parts I didn't talk with her about until a year ago.

my view of emotions is that if you can find someone trustworthy, beyond the shadow of a doubt, opening up is a great feeling. But I view showing emotions publicly as a weakness (beyond the happy ones, the vulnerable emotions)




4.What kind of interaction do you enjoy the most? Argument- I have strong opinions, poke holes in my assertions and make me re-think them, and let me do the same to yours. Better overall result. No feelings/ego involved, hit away at my idea, I want to defend it. Just know your idea is going to get the same scrutiny, and even though it is blunt, I am not trying to cause embarrassment

with someone I trust, going through my reactions to things.




5. What kind of people/material/etc. inspire you? Patton. He just DID
 

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Be you to your fullest extent.

That's for me anyway, all my close friend's have very distinct personalities.

If you hold back or are fake, i'll brush you away & see you as a waste of time.
 

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I think the correct answer to all your questions is "Don't be an idiot".
What?

I like idiots, they're extremely fun to be around. People who take themselves too seriously & are "smart" (try to make themselves looks smart) are BORING.

I'd take an idiot full of spirit & who doesn't hold back over "mr.classy i'm too good to do anything, comfort zone ******" any day of the week.
 
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1. What is the best way to initially connect with you?

Be you, don't hold back.

2. What is the best way to maintain a connection with you?

Keep being that person, time together.

3. What kind of people that you interact with most positively impact you? (e.g. those I can bounce my ideas off, those I can confide in, etc.)

Those who are themselves, those who are good at what they do, different life experiences. If I wanted to know people like me i'd clone myself.

4.What kind of interaction do you enjoy the most?

Unique, funny, memorable, awesome experience.

5. What kind of people/material/etc. inspire you?

Rags to riches, leaders.
 
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Well.. He is very smart but he can be so brutally honest that I wonder if he intentionally does that to make me want to cry. Of course I wouldn't dare.

Me: Oh, did you see that funny youtube video.. The woman did blah blah.. hahahah
Him: That was a fake. Are you that gullible? You can't believe everything you see.
Me. ... Oh well...I can't see how that was fake.
2 days later- I get an email.
with a link verifying that it is indeed a fake.
me: :|
Arghhh!! I hate that he's right and I feel like he just rubs it in. Is it necessary to be smug?
I know it's not intentional (after discovering he was an ENTJ) but sometimes I feel like he is just waiting to pop every single happy bubble. But then at the same time, he says:
"You have no idea how much I learn from you" and "you are so happy , I love that about you. You are the love of my life..." When he says things like this--it shocks me. I'm thinking then stop being so mean!

Oh he likes to tell me that..."Truth is an intruder and receives the intruders welcome".... :dry:
 

· Spotlight March 2016
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Well.. He is very smart but he can be so brutally honest that I wonder if he intentionally does that to make me want to cry. Of course I wouldn't dare.

Me: Oh, did you see that funny youtube video.. The woman did blah blah.. hahahah
Him: That was a fake. Are you that gullible? You can't believe everything you see.
Me. ... Oh well...I can't see how that was fake.
2 days later- I get an email.
with a link verifying that it is indeed a fake.
me: :|
Arghhh!! I hate that he's right and I feel like he just rubs it in. Is it necessary to be smug?
I know it's not intentional (after discovering he was an ENTJ) but sometimes I feel like he is just waiting to pop every single happy bubble. But then at the same time, he says:
"You have no idea how much I learn from you" and "you are so happy , I love that about you. You are the love of my life..." When he says things like this--it shocks me. I'm thinking then stop being so mean!

Oh he likes to tell me that..."Truth is an intruder and receives the intruders welcome".... :dry:
You should try to take it as a learning experience. You can't change the way he is. Learn to accept this about his nature, and find ways to enjoy it.

Try to laugh at yourself a bit more, and poke fun at him in your own way.
 

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You should try to take it as a learning experience. You can't change the way he is. Learn to accept this about his nature, and find ways to enjoy it.

Try to laugh at yourself a bit more, and poke fun at him in your own way.
Yes, I am trying which is why I am still in this relationship (and the fact that he is always there when I need him and just does what he can to make me happy. He is not selfish. ) I have to admit that I am learning something valuable from him but just don't want to lose what makes me the person that I am. This relationship is 9 months old..so there is quite a ways to go. Keep the advice coming--- Much appreciated.
 

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Well.. He is very smart but he can be so brutally honest that I wonder if he intentionally does that to make me want to cry. Of course I wouldn't dare.

Me: Oh, did you see that funny youtube video.. The woman did blah blah.. hahahah
Him: That was a fake. Are you that gullible? You can't believe everything you see.
Me. ... Oh well...I can't see how that was fake.
2 days later- I get an email.
with a link verifying that it is indeed a fake.
me: :|
Arghhh!! I hate that he's right and I feel like he just rubs it in. Is it necessary to be smug?
I know it's not intentional (after discovering he was an ENTJ) but sometimes I feel like he is just waiting to pop every single happy bubble. But then at the same time, he says:
"You have no idea how much I learn from you" and "you are so happy , I love that about you. You are the love of my life..." When he says things like this--it shocks me. I'm thinking then stop being so mean!

Oh he likes to tell me that..."Truth is an intruder and receives the intruders welcome".... :dry:
why is correcting you smug? you were wrong, now you know better-it's adding to your knowledge base.

I'm really puzzled at how this is smug.
 
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Hello and Hi,



1. What is the best way to initially connect with you? Be yourself and don't suck.




2. What is the best way to maintain a connection with you? Respect my desire to be with you and to be without you. If I catch you respecting me, there's a definite chance that we will be "maintain a connection" with me.




3. What kind of people that you interact with most positively impact you? (e.g. those I can bounce my ideas off, those I can confide in, etc.) Those who are different from me. I like and I love myself, but I also like and love the people who are creative and have different goals from mine.




4.What kind of interaction do you enjoy the most? The straightforward kind. Why? Because I'm the queen of logisticalities!!




5. What kind of people/material/etc. inspire you? Jiro Dreams of Sushi inspired me in the past month.




Thanks :) You are welcome
 

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Is my observation inaccurate? Obvious? Offensive? It's been a long day and I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic, or not. Though my intentions were not to offend anyone. I just wanted to know if it took more than mere competence and good conversation to build a genuinely closer relationship with an ENTJ?
I do not know the ENTJ, but for me it is clear that there was no sarcasm there. I agree with " I dont wear my heart on my sleeve" notion.

I would say you should think more objectively and try to tie facts to words and then these misunderstanding will not happen and there will not be any questions.


And to answer if more than mere competence is enough to build a closer relationship with ENTJ - I would say personally for me, I like someone who I can admire and be able to trust to do the simple things in life. Kind of a vague answer, but I hope it makes sense.
 

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It seems to me he is being smug because he'll finish it with "I'm always right" or something to that effect and seems to gloat. Maybe it's just me. Afterall, I do wear the ENFP crown. :p
ah, the I'm always right does = gloating.
 
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