What type would think like this?
Does anyone here feel an unconscious desire for immunity from external judgement and misunderstanding? I have always considered myself a real truth seeker, because I am too damn analytical. I don't know why, but I try stupidly to consider every possibility. I have always struggled with accuracy of communication. Being dishonest and inconsiderate is something abhorrent and hideous. Since I was younger, I realized everything was relative and subjective. I have always felt stuck in the middle of many situations in my life, even if they are not that conflictive. I can see equally good or bad and true or fake and meaningful or ephemeral in any situation. Sometimes it's too hard for me to stand in one position. I do not consider myself an idealist. Sometimes I don't give a f--k about people around me. I am neutral and indifferent, sometimes just like a defense mechanism. Despite this attitude, I am pretty demanding of attention and sometimes too clingy. Sometimes I feel this ambivalence for intimates, pulling them and pushing them far far away. Sometimes I ask too many questions to confirm I'm still being true and considerate, to know if people around me see the same things I see. I'm inquisitively questionning them until I get the real and satisfying answer. Sometimes I withdraw because of it. I do not want to be a burden for anyone. I thought I was 4 and 6 before, but they just feel too emotional for me and too reactive too. I am reactive, it's true, but I feel at my best when I am objective. My head won't shut up and sometimes I think a lot about things I do not share with anybody. I don't feel I am afraid of sharing, because sometimes I am too expressive and histrionic. I am a bunch of contradictions. Why it is so easy for others to conclude something about them? Are they perceiving it all? I cannot let all of my facets and roles in life at the shore. They are all of them inside of me. I have answered Spade's questionaire twice and it's fun, but I don't feel it's helpful enough, at least not more helpful than self discovery. Yeah, it awakens inside of me a desire for seeking and I seek, but I think at the end everything just comes out in the same line of thought. For example, if I start to talk about me feeling meaningless and empty and boring and simple and having nothing interesting to give to the world, well I would start talking about it so passionately, like it were the main focus in my life, but I doubt it is. Life is so complex and so overwhelming, we cannot reduce it into numbers. Hahaha, and I'm the first one to blame. I am driving myself crazy.
I have never invoked people before, but I'll do it now
@Boss
@Swordman of Mana
PD: Sorry for being so obnoxious
Does anyone here feel an unconscious desire for immunity from external judgement and misunderstanding? I have always considered myself a real truth seeker, because I am too damn analytical. I don't know why, but I try stupidly to consider every possibility. I have always struggled with accuracy of communication. Being dishonest and inconsiderate is something abhorrent and hideous. Since I was younger, I realized everything was relative and subjective. I have always felt stuck in the middle of many situations in my life, even if they are not that conflictive. I can see equally good or bad and true or fake and meaningful or ephemeral in any situation. Sometimes it's too hard for me to stand in one position. I do not consider myself an idealist. Sometimes I don't give a f--k about people around me. I am neutral and indifferent, sometimes just like a defense mechanism. Despite this attitude, I am pretty demanding of attention and sometimes too clingy. Sometimes I feel this ambivalence for intimates, pulling them and pushing them far far away. Sometimes I ask too many questions to confirm I'm still being true and considerate, to know if people around me see the same things I see. I'm inquisitively questionning them until I get the real and satisfying answer. Sometimes I withdraw because of it. I do not want to be a burden for anyone. I thought I was 4 and 6 before, but they just feel too emotional for me and too reactive too. I am reactive, it's true, but I feel at my best when I am objective. My head won't shut up and sometimes I think a lot about things I do not share with anybody. I don't feel I am afraid of sharing, because sometimes I am too expressive and histrionic. I am a bunch of contradictions. Why it is so easy for others to conclude something about them? Are they perceiving it all? I cannot let all of my facets and roles in life at the shore. They are all of them inside of me. I have answered Spade's questionaire twice and it's fun, but I don't feel it's helpful enough, at least not more helpful than self discovery. Yeah, it awakens inside of me a desire for seeking and I seek, but I think at the end everything just comes out in the same line of thought. For example, if I start to talk about me feeling meaningless and empty and boring and simple and having nothing interesting to give to the world, well I would start talking about it so passionately, like it were the main focus in my life, but I doubt it is. Life is so complex and so overwhelming, we cannot reduce it into numbers. Hahaha, and I'm the first one to blame. I am driving myself crazy.
I have never invoked people before, but I'll do it now
@Boss
@Swordman of Mana
PD: Sorry for being so obnoxious