[NingenExp]

What type would think like this?

Does anyone here feel an unconscious desire for immunity from external judgement and misunderstanding? I have always considered myself a real truth seeker, because I am too damn analytical. I don't know why, but I try stupidly to consider every possibility. I have always struggled with accuracy of communication. Being dishonest and inconsiderate is something abhorrent and hideous. Since I was younger, I realized everything was relative and subjective. I have always felt stuck in the middle of many situations in my life, even if they are not that conflictive. I can see equally good or bad and true or fake and meaningful or ephemeral in any situation. Sometimes it's too hard for me to stand in one position. I do not consider myself an idealist. Sometimes I don't give a f--k about people around me. I am neutral and indifferent, sometimes just like a defense mechanism. Despite this attitude, I am pretty demanding of attention and sometimes too clingy. Sometimes I feel this ambivalence for intimates, pulling them and pushing them far far away. Sometimes I ask too many questions to confirm I'm still being true and considerate, to know if people around me see the same things I see. I'm inquisitively questionning them until I get the real and satisfying answer. Sometimes I withdraw because of it. I do not want to be a burden for anyone. I thought I was 4 and 6 before, but they just feel too emotional for me and too reactive too. I am reactive, it's true, but I feel at my best when I am objective. My head won't shut up and sometimes I think a lot about things I do not share with anybody. I don't feel I am afraid of sharing, because sometimes I am too expressive and histrionic. I am a bunch of contradictions. Why it is so easy for others to conclude something about them? Are they perceiving it all? I cannot let all of my facets and roles in life at the shore. They are all of them inside of me. I have answered Spade's questionaire twice and it's fun, but I don't feel it's helpful enough, at least not more helpful than self discovery. Yeah, it awakens inside of me a desire for seeking and I seek, but I think at the end everything just comes out in the same line of thought. For example, if I start to talk about me feeling meaningless and empty and boring and simple and having nothing interesting to give to the world, well I would start talking about it so passionately, like it were the main focus in my life, but I doubt it is. Life is so complex and so overwhelming, we cannot reduce it into numbers. Hahaha, and I'm the first one to blame. I am driving myself crazy.

I have never invoked people before, but I'll do it now
@Boss
@Swordman of Mana

PD: Sorry for being so obnoxious

 

[AbioticPrime]

My impression is 6w5 or 5w6. Perhaps 5w4.

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

@NingenExp
- head triad for sure (either a 5, 6 or 7)
- probably Sp/Sx or Sx/Sp
- you seem 4 fixed
- and 1 fixed

my first impression is 5w4>4w?>1w9 Sp/Sx
but I invite you to fill out @Spade's questionnaire (it's stickied) as I don't have enough information about you to make an accurate analysis at the moment

 

[NingenExp]

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
When my mind it's not busy with terrenal work, I wonder what's my real purpose in life. Sometimes I look inquisitively for it, looking back at my development as human being, but other times I'm just waiting for a sign, a call for action. It hasn't appeared yet, and that makes me wonder if my purpose in life is simply to look for a purpose. Maybe my goal is to look for a pattern or maybe something extraordinary, or maybe I want to build myself a belief system or a set of principles to stick to, or maybe I want to be remembered as an admirable man, because of the way I lived my life, but mostly, even if I am too cerebral and analytical, I want to follow my heart and to know to myself I did it. At this moment, I don't feel I have an specific drive in my life, I'm just looking forward to not feel regret, remorse of repentance of what I've done and where I've been. I know there will be moments of joy and moments of sorrow, but I want to end up my days feeling complete and satisfied of the overall quality of my life. I ask life not a lot of things, I just ask it serenity.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I hope to accomplish an equilibrated life, without feeling it is plain and simple. I have felt stuck at the middle of many situations in my life and that has made me feel I have not delighted myself enough with the ups and downs of life, the ups and downs I don't want to feel regret or remorse or repentance of not experiencing them. Success is to get what you want, but Happiness is to want what you get. Well, I hope to accomplish that sense of wanting what I've got in life. Humans are craving creatures. I hope to enjoy the moments, even the sad ones. There's no more beautiful thing in this world like feeling reconciliation with ourselves and shedding a tear with the ones we love the most, because those are things that can join us in a deeper level, where we realize we're all just humans wanting to be happy and that we have been sabotaging each other without even realizing it. Sometimes, I want to inspire people to reach a deeper meaning in their lifes. I don't want to change people, because I don't believe I've got the answers, but I want to encourage people to find theirs.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I hope to avoid feeling my life is worthless. I hope to avoid being dull either. I hope to avoid being so self-centered. I value integrity, authenticity, originality, truth, understanding, honesty, acceptance, inspiration and forgiveness.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I'm afraid of being forgotten and ignored, because I want to print my mark in people around me. I'm afraid, like I said before, of feeling my life was worthless. I'm afraid of feeling emptiness, that I have nothing to offer to the world.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to find me interesting and authentic and receptive. I see myself I'm neutral and honest. I see myself I'm tolerant too, and open-minded. I see myself sometimes I'm boring and simple and I hate it. I see myself I'm quirky and expressive but not demonstrative. I see myself I'm analytical and objective. I see myself I'm too demanding and self-centered, but I feel myself I have a pure heart at my best.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I feel pleased with a moment and I'm sharing and expressing myself openly. I feel at my worst when I'm tense, anxious, stressed or when I start to think everybody's ignoring me and that I do not deserve to be loved and when I feel empty.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I express anger with hostility and grumpyness and indifference. I don't feel there are a lot of things that can arouse in me an intense reaction, but I feel there are a lot of things that annoy me, but I do not express anger outwardly that much.

b)Apart of embarrassing situations, I feel shame of being so self-centered and demanding of attention. I feel shame of being sometimes a little bit too wacky, and too histrionic, it makes me feel I'm just doing things because of the attention. Just having a simple though crossing in my mind telling me I'm trying to gather attention so desperately because of the attention makes me feel I'm not being genuine and I start to feel despair, that I will never find my worth. Wanting a lot from others and not giving that much. I cannot stand feeling guilty of doing this over and over again. I withdraw from it sometimes, because I feel shameful of wanting more than I deserve. Being aware of this situation makes me feel my purpose in life is so ephemeral and superficial. That's mostly my shame

c)Well, I don't know if it's anxiety, but I have problems to sleep properly and to eat healthy. Sometimes I just act like a loco going round and round in circles in a room. I start fantasizing a lot or thinking a lot about what's going in my life. The worst part is that I start performing my fantasies and monologues and I feel stupid because of it and sometimes embarrassed because people look at me like I am a weirdo. Well, I do it mostly in my room and at the night. I start rearranging things in the place, putting things in order. I have urges to start running. My head aches too sometimes and I feel I'm going to burst. Sometimes, my anxiety has no tormenting thoughts related to it, just the feeling of noise in my head. Sometimes, when I'm in bed, I feel I cannot get to sleep and I feel everything is suffocating me. xD

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) Oh stress! It tightens my upper body, my neck and my back and my arms sometimes. If I am in a group situation, I can start worrying a lot and I start trying to ease everybody around, when I am the one that is feeling it. hahaha I can act bossy and pushy and I can be so indifferent and with my I-don't-care attitude.
b)Unexpected change doesn't perturb me. It shakes me a little, but then I deal with it. Unexpected change can be interesting if I prefer the new situation, but it can be really annoying if I need to start all over again.
c) I don't want to be involved in conflictive situations if it is not necessary. Watching conflictive sitations can be invigorating, as long as it is not involving me. Life is full of conflictive situations.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) b) I do not care if it's not affecting me. Even if it does, I just can go away from it. Power it's someway desirable, not because of the idea of having others at your feet, but because you can get some freedom with it. Power can be reached too if you deny comitting and taking a lot of responsabilities, taking a lot from people. I respect authority, I'm not a rebel and I'm not a follower neither.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Life is so complex and full with contrasting things. It's ying and yang. We cannot ignore what's going on. Life is so beautiful and so disappointing sometimes. Life is all we've got, one chance, one step to death. Humanity is wonderful too.

I will answer the other ones later, I want to sleep xD

Thanks for the opinions and ask other questions if you feel to.

 

[NingenExp]

I think and feel I'm head core and 4 fixed. Sometimes I wonder if I am 9w1 or 1w9. :/
My last responses were so lazy

 

[AbioticPrime]

I think and feel I'm head core and 4 fixed. Sometimes I wonder if I am 9w1 or 1w9. :/
My last responses were so lazy

Well one thing that I sense is that you're very concerned with being judged. Not sure what type that's associated with ;p

 

[mpobrien]

I know you said you think and feel that you're a head core, but I really think you may be a 4w3. The thing that really came across to me in your questions was about your authenticity and that you're interesting, and you also have a very incredible view of life and what you want to accomplish.

Well one thing that I sense is that you're very concerned with being judged. Not sure what type that's associated with ;p

I say 3 wing because of the being judged part. I'm pretty sure that being concerned with being judged is a 3 thing. But I'm no expert

 

[NingenExp]

Yes, I'm really concerned if I am judged, that's true, that's why I sometimes try so much to be the most honest and true possible. I sometimes feel it's too much.

 

[NingenExp]

I think I am Philosopher archetype (6 fix, 4 fix and 1 fix). Having a lot of energy in my head gives me a hint of being a 6.

Sixes' descriptions are really exaggerated and paint them as untrusting people and paranoids. Always watching their back to not feel they're manipulated or taken advantage of. I really do not feel that. I am more friendly (if I feel I can be myself with you and when I feel you're not judging me) and I do not distrust people hidden motivations. Definately, I am a six (7 winged maybe).

I heard sixes' fear was fear itself. In my personal sp case, I interprete it as fear of not being autosufficient and be taken care of, of absolute dependancy, fear of not making my own conclussions.

Although, ones' fears also feel true. I am afraid of not being integral and of being judged or being ashamed of the quality of my life too. I also have a fear of failing to my values. I want to be tolerant and considerate. Being self-centered and self-absorbed doesn't help me sometimes to stick to it.

I anticipate people judgement, I imagine what could people ask me or how could people point me wrong. Leaving mistakes makes me feel anxious. I feel a need to correct me if I go wrong. In someway I feel the pressure.

I am also a little bit afraid of letting me go with one side or the other in conflictive situations, or going with a side that is not of my own. I am gradually realizing I am afraid of stating an opinion and concluding. I feel there are things deeply ingrained in me that are more true in me than the whole panorama, but few people know them, because I keep an universal attitude. I said I could see truth from every perspective, that's what I refer to universality. That's why I keep myself neutral, indifferent, ambivalente or ambiguous. Having "not strong" feeling to everything, when for me it's clear how I believe. Simply, I just cannot connect it with reality. That also makes me desire objectivity. I am analytical.

In terms of MBTI, I think I have Ti and Fi really developed. I'm really perceptive of other perspectives and self-aware. I have really more things going on inside than outside, mostly in my head.

I thought I was 5 because sometimes I just need time alone and it annoys me when people tries to make me react or respond or sympathize without me feeling it natural. But that's not necessarily 5 vice, greed, in action.

My desire for authenticity and being outstanding or interesting and unique, it's more like an universal desire (maybe a little bit sx oriented), but definately 4 fixed.

What do you think?

 

[Jewl]

@NingenExp - I am inclined to believe your end decision. ^^ You're definitely a head type, and I don't think you're core Five or core Seven... that leaves Six. You're right about the flaw in Six descriptions, by the way, and I am so glad you recognized that. So many people don't. I think your image fix is 4w3, and your gut fix is definitely 1wsomething. Probably 1w9. So your tritype is probably 614 or 641.

 

[NingenExp]

When I feel I am ignored, I admit I can show an irrational preference for unpopularity, just to be against the leader perspective; also, I have a true desire to find an adjective to identify with and to leave strong impressions on people (even if they are not positive). I tend to self-absorb and self-reveal my feelings and thoughts too. I think I procrastinate a lot sometimes. I can be pretty demanding and that makes me feel shame, that makes me withdraw from people. So for now, I'll let the 641 in that order. The six is first, always.