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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I have some questions about the personality attributes of INFJs (well, NFJs in general) that I'd like to explore. These are all pretty much based off attributes I've heard applied by individual NFJs and as such they may be a bit broad, so in answering them, consider how they are relevant to you and answer in those terms.

1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?

3. What is your preferred internal state?

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?*

*How would you make sense of a stranger's bad behavior if you witnessed it? How would you relate to them if at all?

Thanks!
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day? At work, my emotional state varies from neutral (I'm a programmer :p) to positive/humorous (when interacting with coworkers) during the day, unless work gets frustrated. Then in the other times it depends.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel? They keep me alive. They inspire me. They are part of how I process things. Sometimes I absorb and simulate the emotions I get from the outside, but I can distinguish well when it's my own and when it's just simulation.

3. What is your preferred internal state? Humorous, or intense states of inspiration. :p I don't like much negative emotions thought, as the afterwards feels bad physically (it happens when I get too emotional from watching sad stuffs or listening to sad music).

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be? Their happiness and sense of humor can be contagious to me; and when it comes to negative feelings, I'm pretty tolerant and fine with them, as I feel empathetic towards them.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)? too closed inside of my own inner world perhaps? I have a negative mind pattern that I've been trying to overcome.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”? I can't say that I'm too driven to help others, I help my loved ones and care for some people, or try to help anyone that is with me and seems to be in need and I could help, but I don't think that I'm too eager to help everyone. But being able to help them figure things out and feel better makes me happy.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few? I don't really overthink of other people's motivation, unless I feel that I'm in a situation where I could be tricked. If I analyze someone that much then it's more coz I'm curious about something.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to? Hmm I don't understand what this means, but I guess that I try to wonder why the stranger would behave like that and if it's too much. I don't like getting involved in conflicts, specially with strangers.
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
I would say my natural emotional state is wonder/curiosity, if that counts as an emotion. But on an average day, rather than being at my default, I tend to end up feeling separate or longing.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
My sense of self gets attached to them, without my controlling it.

*feels confident* = *knows self as confident person*
*feels depressed* = *knows self as a melancholy person*

Very much 4-related. I have always been very careful to monitor their effects on my behavior. They nearly always go through a screening process of, "is this reasonable to feel?" if yes, act, if no, acknowledge and let go of the feeling.

I take to emotional highs like a pepsi addict takes to a pepsi can, drinking it before I even know it's in my hand. again, 4.


3. What is your preferred internal state?
euphoric along with a sense of deep clarity

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
I absorb unconsciously. Then I realize and either refuse to feel what belongs to them, or rise to the need for empathy if that is what is needed, OR get the f*** out of their vicinity.

If it's good stuff, though, I'll probably just soak it in and be happy with them. No need for damage control where no damage exists.


5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
lack of follow through, with projects, thoughts, ideas, chores, responsibilities, etc.
Second to that might be vanity.


6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

I operate under the assumption that nobody is at their best. We're all here, therefore we all have SOMe amount of time left, therefore there is always room for growth. It does not mean what they are currently is not pleasing.

It entails being attentive to the signals I am given, putting in effort where ever I see possible, while keeping some energy reserves to keep myself healthy and growing. It is always specific to the needs of the individual. When I realize somebody will require too much from me, I still do what I can within the amount I know I AM able to give, but I do not hold myself responsible for getting any individual to 200%. I just do what I can.


7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
I don't really actively consider this. My opinion forms on its own. One day I'll open my eyes and realize, "oh. so x is what I think about that person". I don't know my own standards. I just know in the moment what I believe is good, what i agree with, what I don't. Often times i won't phrase it as "I think jane is a shitty person with terrible morals". It'll be more like, "hmmm. Jane seems to believe in blah blah blah. She displays this, that or the other trait. I don't really like being around that, and I don't agree with her. I think it would be healthier if she were less something-or-other."

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?
I would take note of what I can see, consider possibilities for what i can't see and the effects of that, in both positive and negative directions, then observe my gut response or feeling, consider my place or what my involvement should be, take action or say something if necessary, remain neutral if I don't have enough info, or sit in quiet disapproval.
All answers are subject to change -_^
 

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1. Emotional state - Calm & neutral.

2. Relationship with emotions - I like doing anything that incites emotions, good or bad. I find it as a tool for personal growth and development -- always need to shoulder more than you think you can handle and push yourself further.

3. Preferred internal state? Passion, love, obsession. Nothing ignites my soul better than romance.

4. Other people’s emotions // What would you prefer it to be? I hold sacrifice in high regard and I believe putting your own emotions behind you for the sake of others is truly commendable. Admittedly, I'm guilty of coddling ladies though when they come to me with emotional concerns, whereas with guys I'm a bit more pep-talkish. Overall, I need to stop seeing women as victims too often and learn to balance the genders a bit more.

5. Worst character trait? Highly controlling, manipulative, and worst of all... discreet about it. I tend to be the little angel or devil (conscience) on the shoulder of people and they think their making the decisions on their own.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

I've always held the belief that the only time you're above average is when you're inspired -- this is something that comes and goes throughout our life. Finding what inspires people is no easy task, but the easiest shortcut is when you find someone that is psychologically drowning in their own sorrow -- it is a reflex to cling onto anything to help them stay float.

I've stood in front of these people and offered them a sort of deal with the devil of sorts. Abandon who you are and I will extend a hand... follow me wherever I take you. If they do so, it will become just that. The difference is though, I only intend to serve as a crutch for a period of time, but for that moment I need them to give everything to me otherwise it is likely they will find more ways to sabotage themselves throughout the process. Eventually, they learn to walk on their own and with a more rational mind, make the decisions they need to make for themselves. Slavery -> Freedom.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?

I'm always assessing others as I think I'm rather cult-like in my relationships -- I'm always seeking potential lifelong companions & almost creating a group or society. I tend to ask a lot of philosophical questions which are "damned if you do, damned if you don't" in nature. I want to see how people rationalize their choices. Admittedly, I place more merit in selfish answers rather than people who follow the moral high ground of what's "right." In the latter circumstance, it's far more difficult to ascertain whether they truly feel that way or if it's just because they were told to.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?
I'm narcissistic enough to proclaim myself judge, jury, and executioner. I consider myself entitled to my feelings, regardless of merit. In the same breath, I feel they are entitled to their own. In the end, if it ever comes to contest then I believe "right" favors the one who will passionately fight for their cause to the greatest lengths.
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Bored----stimulated - depending on what is happening. Not sure if that counts. Had trouble answering this.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
I feel like I become one with them.

3. What is your preferred internal state?
Joyful

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
It's hard to separate their emotions from myself. They almost become my own unless I'm just in a really positive mood. I would prefer it if I was not as moved by the negative emotions of others as it has a way of infecting me and preventing me from helping them as I would like. Of course these are all things I have the ability to change and am working on it. And...I wouldn't make myself any less empathetic. I think it saves me in many areas from becoming a crap hole.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
Obsessive

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
Just means helping a person live up to their personal potential with whatever gifts they have etc. I would say the process would be tailored to the individual as would the evaluation. I would listen to their feedback (see if they are open) and go from there. You can always tell when someone isn't at their best and being all they can be by the joy that is present. But yeah, there are multiple factors at play here!

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
It is something I automatically do with everyone (including myself). As to what motivates me? I would like to know if what is being presented is trustworthy or not. It's only wise to analyze these things before getting involved with certain people or attempting to help them in some way so you know what you're dealing with.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?
Not sure how to answer this or what you mean. I really try not to pass judgment these days though it is an automatic response (even judging myself). Judging in itself isn't bad...just...yeah, I don't want to grow bitter towards people and I know I am capable of the same things so I try not to let these things get under my skin unless it's just something completely off the wall but even with that stuff...I usually feel bad for both the victim and the one doing harm because the one doing harm was most likely victimized at some point in their life. If it's not something I am in the position to do anything about then there's no point in dwelling on it.
 
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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?

Generally, I'm neutral most of the time. Any shift in the state alerts me to something coming and thus preparations are worth making to prepare for this upcoming event. The shift could be mad, sad or glad.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?

The emotions I feel tend to be a guidance system for me and thus I tend to like having them as guides to steer me in life. Sometimes they can get a bit intense but that is part of the fun at times.

3. What is your preferred internal state?

Bigger than King Kong, rocking in my element though this is hard to sustain in my experience.

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?

I can sense other people's emotions which can be useful to take and adjust how I present myself in the world. My preference would be for it to be optimally fine tuned though that is a long term goal.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?

Perfectionism.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

That means I'll attempt to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for someone or suggest various books that may help them improve themselves. Generally there is an emotional support component, knowledge of what I know that may be useful and possible practice as what I'd be passing along. I evaluate that someone is not their best by seeing what they are doing and seeing the bigger picture of how well could they be with some more ingredients added to the mix.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?

Generally, my motivation is my own greed that comes from my Enneagram type being a 5 where I want to know as much as possible. Knowing someone's currency can be a useful characteristic in my opinion though this does require the person to stay in my orbit for a time and be someone that passes some initial tests so this applies to about select circles but can still be a relatively large number of people at about 100 or so.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?

I see it as something that I'm meant to witness as a lesson for me to apply in my own life. Depending on the behavior, I may take action though generally I'll ponder what kind of mirror is this for my own life and what I'm doing in some circle of my life as there is a reason for me witnessing this event.
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Usually pretty calm and happy.
2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
Without them, I guess I'm nothing.
3. What is your preferred internal state?
Being cheerful.
4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
I guess my emotions take on the form of other people's emotions. I'm fine with how that is.
5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
Obsession with a few things.
6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
It means that others need to be at the top of the top, but most importantly, emotionally. Nobody is ever at their best. Their best doesn't exist. There's no wall preventing further improvement.
7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
I really don't know about this one. Sorry.
8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?
I'd probably avoid doing the bad behavior that they do, and maybe tell them about how I disapprove.
 
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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?

happy and content. I express this by being cheesy, silly, goofy and content is expressed by loving everyone I love, making them smile, and being philosophical and stuff :p

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?

I feel my emotions. I enjoy the experience of them very much like the experience of riding a roller coaster in a way. In that, they range and are intense but that I am visually aware of the fact that they are not me. they are the seat I'm sitting in, the belt across my lap, the terrain so to speak. Hope that made sense. I think the fact I experience emotions in this way, I'm very apt at understanding them in a deep and intellectual way.

3. What is your preferred internal state?

um. me? I like being me? I don't understand the question. if I'm sad or confused or whatever, I'm cool with that. because that's me and my reaction or rather, how I experience the life I'm in and it allows me to connect with those I care about by being able to be okay with feeling the bad and ugly as well as the good. so yeah. I'm chill with my internal state as is.

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?

I pick up on other people's emotions more than I would prefer to but, it allows me to understand people on a deep level. however, emotions are ever changing so I don't adhere to there position necessarily. It would be nice to feel them less so I can be more selfish about my needs but, I think that is just one of those things that you have to practice how to balance, more or less.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?

I guess, sometimes, my head gets too full, and then my brain has to play catch up sifting through it and making sense of it all. and that process works faster if I think out loud with someone, or write my thoughts down and reflect on it later (because "later" my mind is in a different point in time/perspective).

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you?

It means I have to practice self discipline to not do things for them, because while some things make sense to me, there are just some things (within the land of emotions) that need to be worked out by their creator. which isn't me. everyone has to practice managing and understanding their emotions and have the freedom to grow at their own pace. that to me is helping. just being there for when I'm needed but for the most part, just being there. not necessarily doing/saying anything.

What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

Just because I think someone has unfulfilled potential, does not mean that is the case. I suppose I pretty much focus on MY potential. After learning the hard way that, my definition of their best, might not be what is best for them, OR, it just might need to develop in a way that is more natural for their disposition.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?

I have a harder time assessing someone's motivations because of my point of reference being so drastically different than theirs. I DO however sense the persons core, their emotional motivations that might underlay their thoughts. however, thoughts being more immediate, this means that I get side swiped on occasion. IT's like, I can see the storm miles and miles away that's been forgotten, and because I tend to naturally see and understand THAT, I get knocked over by the waves in front of my face (caused by the storm miles away). So the question is, which is better? To understand the initial storm? Or be aware of the waves that could hypothetically injure me now? In other words, I'm adept at helping people calm their storm, but of course, I'm vulnerable to the aftermath of that storm. This capacity is not for a select few. Rather, everyone. Thus, I can only reach out to a select few, especially in times of retreat or recharge.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?

I'm not so sure what the question is actually asking? I suppose I can only say, *see above*

Thanks!
Curious what you are trying(wish) to say(communicate) to whomever spurred the curiosity ;)
 
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Discussion Starter #9
These are all really great answers, guys! Please, keep them coming. :)

Curious what you are trying(wish) to say(communicate) to whomever spurred the curiosity ;)
Do you mean me? No one person inspired the curiosity and I don't intend to communicate anything to anyone in particular. Did it come off that way?

I'm actually especially interested in the different approach and orientation to emotions, people, and empathy between INTJs and INFJs. I thought to start with I'd get a sense of how INFJs view these aspects of their experiences.
 

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I have some questions about the personality attributes of INFJs (well, NFJs in general) that I'd like to explore. These are all pretty much based off attributes I've heard applied by individual NFJs and as such they may be a bit broad, so in answering them, consider how they are relevant to you and answer in those terms.

1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?

Neutral most of the time, I try to sway it to happiness by getting off by making others smile. If Ive had little sleep I can be neutral or will be VERY easily annoyed by people because I become even more sensitive to everything and Ill crash hard by the end of the day, which means right after school/work.


2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?

Neutrality is what I like.

3. What is your preferred internal state?

Neutral to slight joy from just observing people go on about their day and watching trees/nature do their thing.

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?

I can handle any type of emotion from people, I dont like when someone around me is mad or sad it makes me want to go and comfort them and tell them its all cool and to just chill but obviously people arent open to strangers doing that, who knows maybe one day Ill try it out and cheer someone up.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?

Sometimes I forget to just have fun because I dont want my future plans to be swayed in any way by random events. I know exactly how to have fun its just spontaneous adventures Im annoyed by but only half the time, Im pretty flexible and easy going.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?

I don't give people advice they dont ask for. It's kind of funny I say that because a lot of the times when people complain I assume its the cue for me to step in and give them advice. However Ive been too annoyed by people either getting attached to my advice or seeing me as a worry wort of some sort, so now I've learned how to indirectly mentally poke people so they just think about their problem and come to a conclusion.

So all I do is change the angle at which their mind is going so they arrive at a different destination.


7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?

I dont have to think about this too much, I just kind of make assumptions or feel my intuition and know if a person is good or bad, can be trusted or not.

Im not sure if this is what was being asked.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?

It depends how bad I actually consider their actions, normally I try to justify their behaviours even if it means mentioning that they have some sort of insecurity and that they cant help it or that they're having a bad day and give em space. Or I can call them out on their bullshit with INFJ passion and precise ego stabs which leaves them without anything to say back to me.

Ive almost never done the latter. If anyone at all Ive done it to my sister, she is VERY hard headed and its taught her to be a better person.

Thanks!
My response
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day? Neutral. Open to possibilities but unsurprised by the lack of them. I would not say that I am cynical or pessimistic. Cautiously optimistic is probably the most accurate description for me. I think things have potential but I am willing to be realistic about it.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel? I'd rather have them at least turned down, like lowering the volume of a television. At present they're deafening and they hurt me. But they won't always hurt me to the degree that they do now. Right now I'm still struggling with depressive symptoms and trying to find a balance of medication that will work for me. So I recognise that what I feel now is more intense than it would be normally, even for an INFJ.

3. What is your preferred internal state? At ease or excited by a positive experience. I am not sure what you mean by "internal state".

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be? Other people's emotions (even fictional people, through books or films) seem into my own psyche and cause me a great deal of harm much of the time, because I cannot seem to shield myself from them. I wish they would simply richochet off somewhere else. :/ But I'm not going to NOT see movies or read because I love both of those things. The good news is that if I watch comedic movies television (like the Office or Parks and Recreation), it lifts my mood equal to the impact that the negative emotions had on me. Therefore I almost use it as a form of self-therapy.

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)? I am indecisive about some things, prone to sentimentality (to a fault), and I am a perfectionist, often cripplingly so. If I am betrayed by someone I will not forget it - I have trust issues.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”? Not sure. I suppose helping them realise their potential, maybe by assisting them in goal-achievement?

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few? I wonder about it for everyone, but it tends to occur more with people I am trying to get to know.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to? I'm a tad confused by the question.
 

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Do you mean me? No one person inspired the curiosity and I don't intend to communicate anything to anyone in particular. Did it come off that way?
the last question in particular made me feel as though you don't understand how an INFJ might look to a behavior and draw a conclusion that would no doubt drastically differ from your own. And of course, the obvious curiosity in general made me think that you are either involved with an INFJ, or you're curious about them enough to understand them IF in the event you down the line become involved with them, ya know, "planning" :p LOL!

I am NO doubt probably entirely off the mark..


you need to understand that. I have no idea what I'm doing MOST of the time.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
the last question in particular made me feel as though you don't understand how an INFJ might look to a behavior and draw a conclusion that would no doubt drastically differ from your own. And of course, the obvious curiosity in general made me think that you are either involved with an INFJ, or you're curious about them enough to understand them IF in the event you down the line become involved with them, ya know, "planning" :p LOL!

I am NO doubt probably entirely off the mark..


you need to understand that. I have no idea what I'm doing MOST of the time.
Ah, I see. I had the thought when I was writing the questions that some may pick out the bias of my type showing itself in the way I asked the questions. I was hoping you guys would know what I was trying to get at and meet me halfway if need be.

And no, no personal relationship motivated this. Just wanting to get at the way different people approach these issues. If anything, I wanted a deeper understanding of the INFJ perspective in contrast to my own.

But, it's interesting how you got all that possible context from what I had provided by posting anything in the first place. It says quite a bit about how Ni and Fe might be interplaying with each other. :)
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Does boredom count as an emotional state?
2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
I enjoy the experience of emotion, but it gets tiring after a while so sometimes I allow myself to stay away from things that might emotionally stimulate me.
3. What is your preferred internal state?
um, happy? Peaceful?
4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
I understand other people's emotions very well and often feel them. Honestly I hate sometimes that I'm so easily affected by other people's emotions, but at the same time I'm thankful so that I have a better understanding.
5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
Stubbornness, I swear for somethings I'd rather die than admit defeat.
6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
Hopefully I'm helping that person improve and myself along with them, but I won't help them with that if they don't ask me. I'm not sure what my motivation would be. I guess seeing people happy and proud of themselves for improving and doing their best? And I don't normally evaluate whether people are doing their best I don't really pay attention to that unless it's really bad.
7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
I assume the best for most people at first. But I'm always careful at the same time, because I've had some people totally scam me and take advantage of my kindness. But for the most part I give people the benefit of a doubt.
8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?*
Either a really bad day or just poorly raised.
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Usually pretty mellow and optimistic.
2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
My emotions are just my friends upstairs. Sometimes I come up for a sleep over and just bask in there silliness. At other times they get a little bit annoying when they overstay their welcome. Or get a little too loud up there and I tell them to shut it.
3. What is your preferred internal state?
Goofiness, playful
4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
Hmm, well I try not to keep away from negative types. They bring me down easily. So I keep my space from people. Eventhough they invade my space and tell me things anyway.
5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
My emotions probably haha. Well not being able to control them sometimes. Like getting upset in a public place. Also not speaking up for myself often enough.
6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
I suppose it means helping people become less troubled so they do not have to go through the things I had to. It means making things run smoother for everyone. Creating more harmony in relationships. The process would be to just listen. Often times people come to me just to get something off of their chest. I just provide an ear and if it is a close friend or family member they get a look from me that tells them we are both thinking the same thing so there is nothing more to say. Only thing left is to do. I will not actively push anyone to be better. If they are ready to change they don't need a push, maybe just some encouraging words or an affirmation. If they are not ready for change then you cannot make them. Someone is not at their best when they are not their usual selves.
7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
I'm not sure if I understand what is being asked. I am always finding meaning in people's actions though. I am very interested in personality/psychology so it's more like a hobby to figure people out. It's something I do without thinking
8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?*
Usually people are unaware that they are changing the mood around them. I have worked at several customer service type desk jobs. They bring their emotions right up to the counter and fill the area with that emotion. They let it seep out while they are doing their normal day to day tasks. It can get to me sometimes. I just try and remember that they have private lives that are could be effecting them. I'm not always in control of my emotions either. But if they are purposefully sharing their bad emotions with you when you did not ask and do not have any relationship to than that is a little uncalled for. I don't like when people bring everyone else down for no reason.
*How would you make sense of a stranger's bad behavior if you witnessed it? How would you relate to it if at all?
Good questions:wink:
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
- neutral, with minor fluctuations between amused/happy and sad/stressed

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
- I feel like sometimes my emotions can overshadow everything else and just becomes overbearing

3. What is your preferred internal state?
- calm, content, self-actualized

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
- not really sure how to answer this.. i want people to be happy i guess?

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
- just one? (haha) I guess it would be denial; I have a habit of ignoring all the flaws and not improve myself as i should

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
- it means seeing people around you as larger than your own life; it means thinking of what you want to give with your life instead of asking what life can give to you; it means having a meaningful existence. i guess it would involve not relying on your own judgements but rather trusting their's as well, and if they want to improve, you help them. the process is different for everyone as there are differences, experiences and problems unique to the individual.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
- i guess at the core trying to understand the person, and trying to not make mistakes when judging/acting towards the person. i try to apply this to everyone.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?*

*How would you make sense of a stranger's bad behavior if you witnessed it? How would you relate to them if at all?
- think about the situational factors that influence a person's behaviour and not just the dispositional attributes. I'll try to dig deeper into the person's life story and analyze both them and any contextual information. i could easily relate their motivations/behaviour/flaws back to myself and try to use this as a way of not denying my own mistakes/shortcomings but rather as an opportunity to grow.

hope that helps! :)
 

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Just so you realise, many of these are to do with Enneagram rather than MBTI/Cog. functions.
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Average, pretty easy-going, but sometimes anxious/slightly angry.

2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
I pay lots of attention to my emotions. They clue me in to what's going on around me and how I'm processing that.

3. What is your preferred internal state?
I like when I'm in a good mood. Not necessarily hyper over overly optimistic, just having a bright mood and enjoying the day.

4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
I spend a large amount of time assessing other people's moods and the emotions they are probably feeling. I like my empathy, even though it sometimes effects my own emotions (if I know someone is hurting, I begin to hurt as well).

5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
Too much anxiety, especially social anxiety, which prevents me from enjoying the people in my life as much as I'd sometimes like to.

6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?I wouldn't say that I walk around looking for people to help, but when I stumble into a situation where someone needs help, I do my best to give it. Usually my help takes the form of listening, and if I'm going to dispense any advice I like to sort of lead the person to the conclusion themselves rather than directly telling them how to help themselves.

7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few? I'm very curious as to why people do the things they do, and this applies to all people, not just close friends/family. Often times I initially fail to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but then think about the situation longer and discover some sympathetic aspect to what they've done or who they are.

8. How would you contextualize a stranger’s bad behavior that you are witness to?*
Initially, annoyance. But I am often the one to say, "Well, maybe he was speeding and being an asshole driver because he's trying to get to the hospital to see someone," or "Sure, what she did was wrong, but we don't know what sorts of awful things have happened to her that got her to this point."
 

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1. What is your natural emotional state on an average day?
Neutral.
2. What is your relationship to the emotions you feel?
Depends on the feelings, but the bad ones Is like a shout down, run away. Do the best to hide them to stop feeling it.
3. What is your preferred internal state?
Daydreaming.
4. What is your relationship to other people’s emotions? What would you prefer it to be?
Very deep. I can literally smell people's emotions, it's pretty cool actually. I would like to keep it in this way.
5. What is your worst character trait or personality flaw (personally but also respective to your type)?
I'm selfish, a lot. (I don't think it's something from my type actually)
6. If you are the sort driven to help people become the best they can be, what does this mean to you? What would this entail (process, motivation) and how do you evaluate that someone is already “not their best”?
I always give advice to the people who ask me, like I said before I can actully smell what's the problem, so I help to the point I open their eyes, giving them like a tool so they can work with themselves with it.
7. In assessing others' true motivations or the character underlying their actions/presentation, what motivates you to consider someone's intention or character at the core level? Is this something you apply to everyone or only a select few?
Intuition. And I use this with all people.
8. How would you make sense of a stranger's bad behavior if you witnessed it? How would you relate to them if at all?
It depends on what that perdon did to me but if it's something irrelevant I use to forget about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Just so you realise, many of these are to do with Enneagram rather than MBTI/Cog. functions.
I'm interested in looking at this through the MBTI lens, of course, but just out of curiosity, what enneagram types do you think are at play here?
 
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