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This was posted somewhere else on accident. It should be here instead.
I'm scared about who I am.
I like me and I hate me.
I have a lot of values I hold important; however there are things about me that I want to change.
I see changing into who I want to be as bettering myself but at the same time I think it might hurt future relationships with people. (I say future because I'm not close to anyone as of now. I'm 16 and in high school and right now all relationships that I've been apart of or witnessed seem painfully, heartbreakingly shallow) And if I ruin the chance of good genuine friendships and romantic relationships by changing, then... ouch!


I'm INFP but I find strong bold personalities (not meaning extroverted but meaning that the personality holds true) attractive. So much that I want the quality and I'm starting to even update my values. For instance I want to be able to trust myself enough to openly react and emote my emotions. I think people who do that (only those with a good heart and good intentions) are amazing. I want to be a good person and then be able to express myself. I want others to see ME. When I'm around others I change and I hate that. I want to stay true to myself while still valuing others and there differences. I love to respect people, care about them, feel with them and have a real deep connection with them but these two ideals I expressed seems contradicting.

The thing is, if I move to these new ideas and values will the other ones still hold strong? I think I can do it. I will do everything I can to keep that part of myself. Also I feel like the idea of the people that I would love wont love me because of the change. (I recognize that it is said that expectations are bad but I think humanity as a whole needs to start improving their standards in the sense of what I'm talking about which is more morality base. It's not like I don't expect flaws as long as your hearts in the right place)
I like that I can see others point of views and I like my ability to put myself in others shoes. I just don't want that to get in the way of who I am. For example, I was at a table eating with people I honestly had little respect for. They start sharing their disgust for homosexuality. I was stunned. More sad than angry, but still angry. I said something but it took me a while and even then it was just a disagreement. HOW DARE I DO THAT! Just cause I'm not homosexual, not feeling the injustice and intolerance doesn't mean I don't need to say anything. And on such an important issue!
Now, I'm with out a doubt going to improve this part of myself. I just hope that I will find the same personalities I find attractive now, attractive later.

Does that make since? I don't know why I want to keep a hold of this. Especially since I don't know anyone like this and am going off of what I see in role models.


Will shadow functions and compatible types change? That's like saying couples who grow for the better will end up growing apart. D':


If this sounds selfish I want you to tell me and rip me apart. I can take it. I have to if I want to better myself.
I'm seeing me trying to better myself as selfish. I feel like people who will connect with me deserve a better me but I'm also doing it for better interactions and relationships. I'm so damn confused.


I'm sorry if this appears incredible unorganized. It is my insides written down. I started on one thing and then I had many more I wanted to talk about. I need help so I come to you guys with my mind and heart open. I'm going to keep the highest level of objectiveness as possible so I'm able to be self aware thus actually taking your comments and using them to their full potential. Thank You!
 

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Be who you want to be.

Love who you are.

Change what you can.

Love what you can't. (but try and improve nonetheless)


If you let yourself fit into a box then you will be limited to the space within that box. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

INFP's in particular have the uncanny ability to have a very multifaceted diverse and deep personality if they wish to.

You don't have to be one thing, you can be many things if you want to.
 

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Change is pretty much a given as you get older. Physically, mentally and spiritually. You'll grow bit by bit.....I haven't found an end to the process, and most likely there isn't one.

So far as trying to develop certain aspects of your personality, I've always found that thoughts follow actions. Emulate the behaviour of who you want to become, and the habits will become as as natural as breathing. Second nature really.

Don't get too stuck on the "real" you. You're still you so far in this moment, I think that should be enough for anyone.
 

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You find things attractive only because that is what needs to happen for yourself.
Be true to your heartful feelings... Express who you are, and not copy who someone else is. This is really hard to do. I am the same too.
 

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It's very noble to want to improve yourself. I don't think you have to worry about compatible type changes and stuff like that. Honestly if you develop and grow inside and find you grow distant with some you were previously closer to, there is nothing bad about this and I think things trend the opposite direction, that inner growth basically always supports your ability to sustain healthy relationships. I think your fear about not finding the same people attractive anymore is really some wonder if you will stop recognizing yourself or hate what you become or lose the things you value in yourself, just fear, fear of change, but I think you have a right to explore and find out what you really like and want in yourself. If you walk yourself one way and don't like the outcome, I should think you could walk yourself back, that power having no reason to have left you and you'll have grown just for the effort and experience.

I think the basic gist is that I don't think you have any of these things to worry about. It sounds like you've been kind of hard on yourself. I think you have to believe that the important parts of yourself will always be there. So long as you value them they won't leave you. Besides, change isn't something you can do or not do. More like it's something you can either accept or not accept (but happens anyway and you can lead and direct it if you're wise).
 

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This was posted somewhere else on accident. It should be here instead.
I'm scared about who I am.
I like me and I hate me.
I have a lot of values I hold important; however there are things about me that I want to change.
I see changing into who I want to be as bettering myself but at the same time I think it might hurt future relationships with people. (I say future because I'm not close to anyone as of now. I'm 16 and in high school and right now all relationships that I've been apart of or witnessed seem painfully, heartbreakingly shallow) And if I ruin the chance of good genuine friendships and romantic relationships by changing, then... ouch!


I'm INFP but I find strong bold personalities (not meaning extroverted but meaning that the personality holds true) attractive. So much that I want the quality and I'm starting to even update my values. For instance I want to be able to trust myself enough to openly react and emote my emotions. I think people who do that (only those with a good heart and good intentions) are amazing. I want to be a good person and then be able to express myself. I want others to see ME. When I'm around others I change and I hate that. I want to stay true to myself while still valuing others and there differences. I love to respect people, care about them, feel with them and have a real deep connection with them but these two ideals I expressed seems contradicting.

The thing is, if I move to these new ideas and values will the other ones still hold strong? I think I can do it. I will do everything I can to keep that part of myself. Also I feel like the idea of the people that I would love wont love me because of the change. (I recognize that it is said that expectations are bad but I think humanity as a whole needs to start improving their standards in the sense of what I'm talking about which is more morality base. It's not like I don't expect flaws as long as your hearts in the right place)
I like that I can see others point of views and I like my ability to put myself in others shoes. I just don't want that to get in the way of who I am. For example, I was at a table eating with people I honestly had little respect for. They start sharing their disgust for homosexuality. I was stunned. More sad than angry, but still angry. I said something but it took me a while and even then it was just a disagreement. HOW DARE I DO THAT! Just cause I'm not homosexual, not feeling the injustice and intolerance doesn't mean I don't need to say anything. And on such an important issue!
Now, I'm with out a doubt going to improve this part of myself. I just hope that I will find the same personalities I find attractive now, attractive later.

Does that make since? I don't know why I want to keep a hold of this. Especially since I don't know anyone like this and am going off of what I see in role models.


Will shadow functions and compatible types change? That's like saying couples who grow for the better will end up growing apart. D':


If this sounds selfish I want you to tell me and rip me apart. I can take it. I have to if I want to better myself.
I'm seeing me trying to better myself as selfish. I feel like people who will connect with me deserve a better me but I'm also doing it for better interactions and relationships. I'm so damn confused.


I'm sorry if this appears incredible unorganized. It is my insides written down. I started on one thing and then I had many more I wanted to talk about. I need help so I come to you guys with my mind and heart open. I'm going to keep the highest level of objectiveness as possible so I'm able to be self aware thus actually taking your comments and using them to their full potential. Thank You!
Being 16, I am in a similar situation myself. I seem to only have acquaintances and the desire to open up without feeling stupid is there. I also value a different personality (INTJ types) and I often act insecurely around the one I know. I personally value intelligence and competence, which my absentmindedness, social awkwardness, and tendency to lose things has caused.
 
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