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My ENFP girlfriend just went 180 on me and ended it almost out of the blue. She went from being super invested and crazy about me, talking about the future, making plans for us and always seeking adventure or social events for us, to suddenly telling me she wasn't ready for a relationship and that she wasn't over her ex yet.
I am INFP, so I have to go slow, and am hesitant with new things so I wasn't always up for all the excitement. She pushed us to go fast and I did my best (it was only 4 months and she was talking about moving with me) Do you think that's why she ended it?
I know she's not the type to share a lot of feelings but I wonder if this is hurting her as much as it hurts me and she just can't talk about it?
I know ENFP's can be impulsive, was this just an impulse based on fear? She had been telling me she was scared of where we were going as we were getting serious (even though she pushed me to go there).
Should I try to win her back or are ENFP's not able to be won? If they can be won, how should I do it?
I don't know her but it sounded like she used you as a rebound, therefore she's doing all these activities and want to be near you and move in with you so that she wouldn't be heart broken over her ex - which to me is disgusting- or perhaps she wants things her way and is throwing useless tantrum - whatever it is it sounds unhealthy , I advice you to stay away from her, don't chase her.
If she really cares for you and is getting mad for no reason and leAve you out of nowhere she'll come back to apologize if she is heartbroken over an ex don't bother , either way it's best to steer away from her

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Yeah, a rebound was what I was afraid of. I really fell for her though, and now I am left pretty bruised.
I'm sorry, not all Enfps or women are like this. Keep in your mind that perhaps you're in lust with the idea of her rather than the true person that she is. Time will heal everything . I really like INFP - you guys are always the most understanding and thoughtful type her loss


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Yeah, honestly I felt like I could have married her. I guess maybe I did fall for what I thought she was, I mean INFP is a dreamer after all. I still think I may reach out to her in a week or two (it's been 3 weeks since she ended it) and check and see where she's at with it. Would it be wrong to just ask her how she is doing? I mean I do care about her.
 

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I could be what? Sorry I get confused easy Lolol. And it could be the INTJ's around me but I think their just not my type of person. I'm not sure :eek:

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hahah sorry I was like half asleep when I typed this 😵 I said you could be an enfp. And what I meant to say is that just because you dont like intj's around probably doesn't mean your not an ENFP I know some ENFP's that don't like INTJ's.
 

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Oh that sounds interesting...

Do you guys think it's a common thing with us, fellows ENFPs to hide when we need to cry ?

If it's so easy to open up our feelings to people we trust, why do we have a difficult time crying in front of them ?


I honestly don't like people seeing me cry because I don't want people to worry about me or know anything about my problems I dont want to burden anyone and I also dont like people thinking I'm a weakling or that I cannot emotionally support myself.
 

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hahah sorry I was like half asleep when I typed this 😵 I said you could be an enfp. And what I meant to say is that just because you dont like intj's around probably doesn't mean your not an ENFP I know some ENFP's that don't like INTJ's.
Hahaha its okay XD. yeah that is definitely possible. I know three ENTJ's, two bother me but the other is great! I think it just depends o what kind of person you are. I think its partially the fact that the one I like is just healthier than the others.

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Hahaha its okay XD. yeah that is definitely possible. I know three ENTJ's, two bother me but the other is great! I think it just depends o what kind of person you are. I think its partially the fact that the one I like is just healthier than the others.

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If you're a strong perceiver , then a strong J personality may drain out your energy for example I have a really good enfj friend who I really enjoy talking to but I can only see him once or twice a month , bc too much time with him exhaust me


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If you're a strong perceiver , then a strong J personality may drain out your energy for example I have a really good enfj friend who I really enjoy talking to but I can only see him once or twice a month , bc too much time with him exhaust me


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I am a strong perceiver. That makes so much sense!! J's definitely drain me. I like some of them but I prefer the company of other percievers

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If you're a strong perceiver , then a strong J personality may drain out your energy for example I have a really good enfj friend who I really enjoy talking to but I can only see him once or twice a month , bc too much time with him exhaust me


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Why is that?
How can you tell?

I think I am a very strong perceiver... and I have been meeting very strong Ts...
 

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Why is that?
How can you tell?

I think I am a very strong perceiver... and I have been meeting very strong Ts...
Im actually ok with strong Ts , I might have more Ts friends than Fs - most of my friends are entps and estps and Im married to an xstp. However to answer your question, strong Js(im ok with Js if theyre not strong) has really strong opinions or even facts and are quite demonstrative when they talk about a certain issue - and they can go on for hours - whether I agree or disagree with what they said- my energy starts draining, they also get very hurt or would get antsy/nervous if I appear like I am not listening, they try to read my mind when I get quiet and they get mad if I were to look at my phone when I am hanging out with them.Theyre also very organize ( I'm at the opposite end sadly) So when I do hangout with strong Js Ill have to put my phone/laptop away, look at them in the eyes when they talk, and listen more than talk - make sure my house and car is clean and organize - you see this to me is exhausting.
 

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How many ENfps do you know in real life? Is there an easy way to spot us?
 

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Im actually ok with strong Ts , I might have more Ts friends than Fs - most of my friends are entps and estps and Im married to an xstp. However to answer your question, strong Js(im ok with Js if theyre not strong) has really strong opinions or even facts and are quite demonstrative when they talk about a certain issue - and they can go on for hours - whether I agree or disagree with what they said- my energy starts draining, they also get very hurt or would get antsy/nervous if I appear like I am not listening, they try to read my mind when I get quiet and they get mad if I were to look at my phone when I am hanging out with them.Theyre also very organize ( I'm at the opposite end sadly) So when I do hangout with strong Js Ill have to put my phone/laptop away, look at them in the eyes when they talk, and listen more than talk - make sure my house and car is clean and organize - you see this to me is exhausting.
The strong opinions bother me the most. I don't know why I just hate it, even if I sorta agree.

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Im actually ok with strong Ts , I might have more Ts friends than Fs - most of my friends are entps and estps and Im married to an xstp. However to answer your question, strong Js(im ok with Js if theyre not strong) has really strong opinions or even facts and are quite demonstrative when they talk about a certain issue - and they can go on for hours - whether I agree or disagree with what they said- my energy starts draining, they also get very hurt or would get antsy/nervous if I appear like I am not listening, they try to read my mind when I get quiet and they get mad if I were to look at my phone when I am hanging out with them.Theyre also very organize ( I'm at the opposite end sadly) So when I do hangout with strong Js Ill have to put my phone/laptop away, look at them in the eyes when they talk, and listen more than talk - make sure my house and car is clean and organize - you see this to me is exhausting.
The strong opinions bother me the most. I don't know why I just hate it, even if I sorta agree.
Ahm ok, I got it...
I can see myself in this situation as well, I like people that are not afraid to say "uhumm... yeah... I see your point... " once in a while too... just like I do
;-)

And no one knows absolutely everything about something (not even themselves) to be that adamant about their opinions, I get annoyed by those who claim to know.

hummm regarding organization and neatness, ops, I'm messy too ! Or better, I'm not messy or sloppy, I'm casual, if it gets dirty, so what, it can be cleaned or throw out... who cares
 

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Do you like Impressionistic art or modern art better ? Reading or writing ? Eyes or smile? Not hearing for a day or not speaking for a day ?


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Do you like Impressionistic art or modern art better ? Reading or writing ? Eyes or smile? Not hearing for a day or not speaking for a day ?


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Neither. My favourite art is accident Art. Then I have a few from other eras. I admit I have a soft spot for Rubens, Delacroix and Gogh.
I like to do both very much.
Eyes that smile.
Can't spend a day without either of them.
 

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How many days out of a week do you prefer to see your partner(if dating) your crush(single) or how often do you enjoy being near your spouse ? Have you ever been jealous/possessive in a relationship ? Are you more calm or energetic ? prefer to chase or be chase or none
 

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Do you like Impressionistic art or modern art better ? Reading or writing ? Eyes or smile? Not hearing for a day or not speaking for a day ?
Impressionism - pure Ne !
Reading without writing, writing without reading (I never read what I wrote, because I would change something and lose track of my thoughts...)
Eyes - smiling eyes
Not hearing for a day, I hate loud and repetitive noises
(I have always wonder why HEARING was one of the only senses we cannot disconnect voluntarily without using external "tools"
If you don't want to see, close your eyes
Don't want to smell, stop breathing through you nose
Don't want to taste, don't put in the tongue
Don't want to feel, don't touch
Don't want to hear... use your fingers or something else ... I wish we had "ear lids"

How many days out of a week do you prefer to see your partner(if dating) your crush(single) or how often do you enjoy being near your spouse ? Have you ever been jealous/possessive in a relationship ? Are you more calm or energetic ? prefer to chase or be chase or none
Dating = let's say 1 - 2x week
Crush = 3x week
Spouse = every day, at least a little bit

I was EXTREMELY jealous and possessive until 7-9 years ago. Not enough self confidence in myself ... poor Te development...

I'm extremely energetic, I walk fast, I speak fast, I type fast, I cook fast, I workout only agitated exercises (like kick boxing, swimming, dancing, spinning), I wake up early and jump from the bed immediately, I am constant moving something on my body

(someone mentioned ADDH ? well, several psychiatrists said no but evidence shows otherwise)

Maturity is making me change a little bit more, I am now able to relaxed moments of stillness ... meditation, yoga, tantra sex, etc... but I need to be already relaxed to be able to relax
(dã)
So, if I have some problem or anxiety, I need to be over the top of agitation until I'm burned out and THEN I can concentrate and relax and work on the issue

I like to chase but when I catch, I like to be dominated (not in a S-M way, but I need someone stronger than me in all senses)
 

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I'm curious how do others ENFPs manage a conversation with any introverted types?
I find it very difficult. I talk about relationships here. I seem to have a very hard time dealing with any introverts if its about relationship.
If it's only friendship I'm okay, actually my mom and my best friends are INFP and ISFJ.
But with types like INTP, INTJ or ISTJ ...well I can't have an inspiring conversation very easy. How do you guys feel about this?
 

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I'm curious how do others ENFPs manage a conversation with any introverted types?
I find it very difficult. I talk about relationships here. I seem to have a very hard time dealing with any introverts if its about relationship.
If it's only friendship I'm okay, actually my mom and my best friends are INFP and ISFJ.
But with types like INTP, INTJ or ISTJ ...well I can't have an inspiring conversation very easy. How do you guys feel about this?
My fiancée is an INTP, mother is an INTJ, my best friend is ISTJ.

I guess that says it all.
 
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